by M. L. Ryan
“It says what?” I squeaked, examining the indecipherable words in the columns beneath the photos as if they’d mean something to me if I stared at them hard enough. “My face was red because I was mad.” I studied the picture carefully; I didn’t know how anyone could mistake my enraged expression for one of sexual fulfillment. “You can’t possibly believe I slept with him.”
“I do not, but it doesn’t matter what I think. What were you doing in his home for so long unaccompanied?”
“I didn’t think I was,” I answered, recounting the events of the night before. When finished, both Pixie and Myrjix could barely contain their anger.
“Such behavior is reprehensible,” Myrjix fumed. “You were fortunate to escape unharmed.”
Pixie agreed. “Quite true. Had you not detected his perfidy, I shudder to think what the consequences might have been. To use tactile compelling against the gryndin lypsemma—it is an outrage.”
“Tannis wanted me to report him, but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea.” Now that the press published evidence of my so-called walk of shame, I might have to rethink that position.
“At the moment, I agree with your assessment,” Pixie said after a pause. “Although, the loss of time distresses me.”
He started to pace, muttering to himself as he crossed from one side of the room to the other. I got the distinct impression this was way beyond his pay grade.
“Can you go rouse Tannis?” I whispered to Myrjix. “I think she needs to be involved.”
She nodded and slipped out. While I waited, I tried to get my PA to calm down but simply telling him to chill out had very little effect. Even though it was nowhere near cocktail hour, I grabbed my bottle of Rey Sol Añejo and poured some into an empty coffee mug. I could have used a bar glass, but this way Pixie could retain the appearance of not boozing it up before lunch.
He glanced into the cup, downed the contents, and sighed. “This won’t ease my anxiety, you know, but I thank you for it.”
“Are you kidding? It made you stop ping ponging across the room; that’s an improvement.”
Myrjix returned with Tannis. “I should go get the rest of your breakfast,” she said, moving toward the door.
“To hell with the extra protein,” I argued. Besides, I wasn’t sure I could hold down more food at this point. “This requires as much input as possible.”
“Here’s the bottom line,” Tannis began. “This newspaper is nothing more than a tabloid magazine. The King’s Guard will back up her story, and there’s no way Alex will believe any of this. I think we act like this is the bullshit it actually is and ignore it.”
I agreed, and frankly, I couldn’t care less about anyone’s opinion other than Alex’s. Still, something else nagged at me.
“Yes, but doesn’t it all seem too convenient that someone associated with a scandal sheet just happened to catch Boklym and me at dinner? The place was a dive; not the sort of place an enterprising pseudo-journalist would stakeout for a potential scoop on a visiting royal.”
“On the other hand,” Myrjix interrupted. “If one was going to have an illicit affair, you’d never pick a popular spot to eat.”
I shot an annoyed look her way.
“Just saying,” she demurred.
“There are a number of unsettling issues here,” Tannis continued. “The whole thing reeks of a set up.”
The more I thought about it, the more I knew she was right. “That scum-sucking bottom feeder must have transferred some magical mojo back at the ball; I knew no one could be that phenomenal of a dance partner,” I raged. “His manipulations must have extended to our picnic as well.” And explained yesterday’s baffling hostility toward Tannis.
“You know,” she admitted. “I was kind of attracted to Boklym, but now that I think about it, while I said goodbye, he touched me. Afterward, I couldn’t have cared less about him. He must have compelled me, too!”
Pixie’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “He must be quite adept at mental persuasion. Even with physical contact, he would have to use a great deal of magical energy to influence your emotions and sense of time so effectively.”
“Fortunately, not skillful enough to completely fool Her Haileyness,” Myrjix observed. “She eventually saw through his ruse.”
Her Haileyness? I glanced at Pixie, waiting for his reaction to my new, but befittingly silly moniker. He glowered, but otherwise made no comment. I had to hand it to Myrjix; she came up with a name that complied with my wishes while not committing a protocol gaff egregious enough to illicit Pixie’s wrath.
“But why would he do it?” Tannis wondered aloud. “I don’t see what he might accomplish by trying to seduce you and making it public.”
We all sat in silence, struggling to answer the million-dollar question.
“What if he didn’t have an ulterior motive?” I posited.
Pixie lifted his eyebrows. “I find it difficult to believe his actions were fueled by attraction alone.”
Thanks for the ego boost, little dude. “That’s not what I meant. What if Boklym was simply the proxy acting out someone else’s agenda?”
“We are still at the same impasse,” Pixie huffed. “If not Boklym directly, who has an interest in causing problems for you?”
I had someone in mind, but it pained me to say it out loud. I glanced at Tannis. “Your mother, maybe?” I said with a grimace.
She shook her head. “I told you, she thinks you’re great.”
“Maybe before Alex became the crown prince,” I argued. “Her opinion might have changed once I’d have a more public role.”
“That is ridiculous. Besides, my mother would never resort to subterfuge. She’d confront you directly.”
I opened my mouth to object, but she held her palms up to quiet me.
“And don’t bring up the rock through the window incident,” she continued. “That situation was not the same.”
“Okay,” I sighed, still not nearly as convinced in her mother’s innocence.
“The princess is correct,” Pixie agreed. “Queen Rexanatyxa would never stoop to such depths.” He tapped his finger against chin as he considered the dilemma. “If Boklym is only a pawn, the instigator has to be someone devious and sneaky. Someone entirely bereft of scruples.”
“Like Ryxjat,” Pixie and I said as one.
Myrjix frowned. “But why would the queen’s right-hand man want to discredit Hailey?”
“With Ryxjat, it is difficult to say,” Pixie admitted. “Trying to decipher the inner workings of his mind is a task best left for people much smarter than I. However, if he is the culprit, I suspect he thought he was helping the queen. He would do anything for her.”
“Like taking the rap for smearing me when it was her idea?” I countered. Even though they didn’t come much shadier or self-seeking than Ryxjat, would he really do something this dastardly without the queen’s blessing?
Tannis crossed her arms over her chest. “Hailey, I know you are upset, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Even if she wanted you gone from Alex’s life—which she does not—she’d never suggest such a thing. If Ryxjat is responsible, and that’s a big, ‘if,’ he is acting on his own.”
I supposed he might have gone rogue, but I couldn’t picture him doing so without the queen expressing a lot of dissatisfaction with yours truly. However, I decided it was in my best interest not to belabor the topic. Waves of anger rolled off my normally good-natured future sister-in-law, all directed at me. She may have looked like an angel, but inside lurked one intense chica. Note to self—don’t piss off Tannis.
Pixie glanced between Tannis and me, a slight glint of sweat beading on his shiny, bald, head. “I will do my best to minimize the fallout in the press. I must consult with Ryxjat, but it may allow me to gauge if he is up to something. Perhaps you can help me by contacting your mother directly, Princess.”
Tannis shot one more withering look my way, nodded at Pixie, and left. He dispatched Myrjix to find out if the pal
ace staff was aware of the situation to determine the need for local damage control. “You,” he demanded, walking toward the door, “must call Prince Aldegrexynthor and explain everything.”
A conversation I wasn’t looking forward to, but once alone, I grabbed the special phone and pressed the call button. This is definitely not going to be as fun as the last time we used this, I thought as I waited for Alex to answer.
“Good morning, carisa.”
His rich baritone flooded my senses. He sounded so happy I considered avoiding the topic all together rather than spoiling his good mood.
I took a deep breath. “Hi there, Blondie. Seen the paper today?”
12
He had, but not the one that featured me. As I described what happened, he asked someone to “get me a copy of that piece of shit Porifitnax rag.” I knew the exact moment when he received it, because he mumbled, “Doprix nix,” then I heard the unmistakable sound of newsprint wadded up.
“Really, Alex, I know this looks bad, but nothing happened. He must have planned the whole thing and notified the paparazzi to be outside his house.”
“Carisa, I trust you implicitly. I am not angry with you; I am incensed this this doflitoj attempted such a brazen act.”
I wasn’t sure what “doflitoj” meant, but based on the way Alex spat out the word, it must have been nasty.
“Except for the photos, there’s no real harm done,” I added, hoping it might help him regain some composure.
“No harm done?” he snarled. “He attempted to compel you to have sex with him, or at the very least, to make it seem as though you did. Either way, he violated your mind. The only reason he did not do the same with your body was your ability to see through his coercion.”
He actually growled the last few words. Alex rarely reverted to alpha-male posturing, and I needed to talk him down before he lost it completely.
“The important thing is I’m fine, and he will be lucky if he ever walks without a limp.”
Alex let out a long breath. “If I had been there, none of this would have ever happened.”
“Really, I was more angry than anything else,” I confided. “I thought about zapping him, but I was concerned I’d set the whole place on fire. Plus, he didn’t deserve to die for what he did.”
Alex didn’t respond immediately. “No, I suppose not,” he ground out finally. Still, crushed testicles alone is an insufficient punishment.”
“I’d rather not get the Jjestrian authorities involved with…”
He interrupted. “Nor do I, carisa. As much as I respect my uncle, I have more faith in the skills of the Xyzok than in any of his agents. Until we determine if this scum acted alone, I do not know who we can trust.”
No shit. I’d shared my suspicions about Ryxjat, but when I hinted at his mother’s possible involvement, he had the same reaction as Tannis. I hoped the familial relationship wouldn’t cloud his judgement, and as tactfully as possible, I shared my fear that his objectivity might be a wee bit compromised.
“I agree. That is why I am sending someone to investigate who will have no such problems. Expect his arrival by morning.”
“What should I do in the meantime?”
“Do whatever you had planned; changing the schedule will make it seem there is something to hide.”
“Oh damn,” I muttered. “There’s some family get-together tonight. I’m not looking forward to your relatives’ reactions to what happened last night. Maybe I should just go back to Alenquai early.”
“As much as I miss you, as I said, returning now would only bolster the appearance of guilt. But don’t worry; I intend to speak to Uncle Fry as soon as we are finished. Believe me; most royals have gone through something similar at one time or another. Unsought scrutiny is an unfortunate downside of being a celebrity.”
Being under a microscope was one thing; hell, getting caught doing something heinous was not nearly as bad as having someone fabricate misbehavior. I recalled all the times I’d checked out the headlines of supermarket tabloids while waiting in line at the supermarket. Some of the stories were obviously fake, like “Sasquatch Is My Baby Daddy,” or “Boy Trapped in Refrigerator Eats Own Foot.” However, many of the ones decrying famous folks’ infidelities seemed plausible; a few even ended up being true. If I had actually cheated on Alex, I’d have no one to blame but myself. In this case, there were pictures. A certain segment of the population would think the worst, even if at some point Boklym admitted his treachery.
“I think I’m screwed, and I didn’t even get screwed,” I complained.
“And I am very happy you did not, carisa. Otherwise, I would have to come to Jjestri and dispatch the doflitoj, an act I am not certain is prudent for the Crown Prince of Alenquai.”
His voice was silky and controlled, completely at odds with the threat to off Boklym. He may have been next in line to be king, but he was a kick-ass Xyzok through and through.
“This is the second time you’ve used that word today,” I observed. “What the hell does doflitoj mean?”
“It doesn’t translate into English directly. I suppose the closest is, “brainless, ass-kissing motherfucker with a hamster’s genitalia.”
“That’s a whole lot of meaning for such a short word,” I said, snickering.
“And a tremendous insult,” he appended. “One of the worst things one can call a man. He paused, and then added, “Gibthnax.”
“Huh?”
“You were about to ask what the worst thing one could call a woman is.”
God, he knew me so well. “And gibthnax means…?” I prompted.
“Common.”
“Like, coarse or low?”
“No, as in ordinary.”
That was a surprise. Given the complexity of doflitoj, I expected the female equivalent to be along the same lines, except with feminine pejoratives. Instead, the deepest cut was to refer to a woman as being nothing special. “Wow. That says a lot about Courso culture. Women not sexually objectified? What a concept.”
“I hate to discourage your vision of us being forward-thinking, but women are still often viewed in terms of their appearance and not their personality. It just isn’t as pronounced as in your dimension. We do come closer to gender equality, and that seems to discourage much of the misogyny. However, it has not vanished completely. If it had, Boklym wouldn’t have tried what he did.”
Yeah, what could be more unempowering than forced horniness?
“Very true,” he agreed. “Look, I hate to cut this short, carisa, but I should contact Uncle Fry. Also, my mother wishes to see me.”
I’ll just bet she does. “Please tell her I’m sorry for the mess.”
“That you didn’t cause,” he corrected.
“No, but I should have been more careful, like noticing the guards hadn’t come inside.” Now that I brought it up, I wondered why I hadn’t. “Do you think that doflitoj compelled me to overlook that, too?”
He chuckled at my word choice. “I do, which is yet another reason why you are not at fault. And my mother will feel the same way.”
Unless she set this whole debacle in motion. “I hope so,” I said, trying to sound more convinced than I felt.
“I know so. Take care of yourself, and stay away from men you don’t know.” His voice was playful, but I knew his caution was not all in jest.
*****
The family gathering turned out to not be completely horrid. My early morning form-bend erased my ink so the dress I borrowed from Tannis exposed nothing that might scare the natives. Besides Tannis and me, the dinner guests consisted of Uncle Fry, Queen Sylzinia, their two youngest children, and the queen’s aunt—whose name I forgot seconds after hearing it—visiting from their home country of Surjjestri. The kids, twin girls who looked around eight—lord knew what that meant in Courso years—were spunky, entertaining, and a pleasure to be around. From my perspective, their greatest contribution to the evening was that their presence prevented any discussion of my alleg
ed dalliance until well after dinner, when a nanny escorted them to bed. Then, my reprieve came to an abrupt end.
“Aldegrexynthor explained what happened,” Fry began. “But I would very much like to hear it directly from you.”
He looked genuinely concerned, but I could think of about a thousand other things I’d rather be doing than rehashing the embarrassing details. Somehow, despite his doleful eyes and encouraging half smile, I got the impression I didn’t have the option of begging off. With a resigned sigh, I complied.
The king interrupted a few times to ask questions, but, for the most part, he simply listened. When I finished, he took my hands in his.
“As sovereign of this land, please accept my apologies. That the son of such a high-ranking member of our parliament would resort to this sort of criminal activity is shocking.”
“Hey, he fooled all of us. I had him checked out before we went hiking and there weren’t any red flags. Sometimes, you just can’t predict someone’s character flaws.”
Sylzinia scowled. “What happened goes well beyond the guise of a mere foible, Hailey.” She turned toward her husband and asked, “Has the King’s Guard made any headway in finding the culprit?”
“Unfortunately, no. But I’m certain they shall; he can’t hide forever.”
“I suppose it was too much to expect he’d still be at his house,” I grumbled.
Uncle Fry shook his head. “It wasn’t even his home, but his father’s. In any case, they did question his hired guards.”
“Did they have an excuse for leaving Hailey?” Tannis asked, not bothering to hide her irritation.
“In a manner of speaking. Neither had any recollection whatsoever of the events of last night. They were astounded when confronted with their own signatures in the palace entry logs.”
“How convenient,” Sylzinia offered.
Fry shook his head. “They weren’t lying. We had them scanned. Someone wiped their memories clean.”
“So they were victimized just like we were,” I said, glancing at Tannis. “That’s better than if they were just really bad at their job.”