by Marian Wells
“It sounds like it, doesn’t it? Almost makes me think I dare not read! But go on—there’s more, and it’s so big I can hardly get my mind around it.”
Sally frowned, but dutifully she bent over the Book. She murmured the words: “The Jews tell Jesus they’re not in bondage—like us, huh? We have the promises. But Jesus tells them that if they sin, they’re a servant of sin.” She shifted impatiently and lifted her head. “Jenny, this isn’t helping at all. I just don’t understand—”
Jenny urged, “Go ahead, read some more. It’s the next part that won’t leave me alone.”
“‘If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’”
Jenny was speaking softly. “There’s more, in another place He says He’s the way, the truth and the life and that no man comes to the Father except through Him. And He says that if we keep His word, He’ll love us and manifest himself to us. I think it’s meaning we’ll get to know Him.”
It was getting late. Regretfully Jenny got to her feet. “Sally, I’ve got to go home. Mark will be there. I’ve put supper on to cook for you.” She reached out to touch her friend. “Please read more, and hope in what you read.”
She lingered a moment longer. The shadows were back in Sally’s eyes and Jenny felt her sadness as she turned to leave.
Chapter 36
“Oh, Mark, he isn’t a baby anymore!” Jenny wailed, but she couldn’t help beaming down at John Mark. The toddler, standing on sturdy legs, teetered slightly as he tilted his head to look up.
Mark crouched down, carefully patted the crown of bright curls and surveyed the little blue and white suit. “Looks like a little sailor in that outfit. Wanna go fishing with Pa?” John Mark crowed and launched himself toward his father.
“Well, it’s to Sabbath meeting right now,” Jenny said, turning to watch the baby stagger across the floor.
“He’s as efficient as a toy boat in a mud puddle,” Mark chuckled as John Mark steered clear of the kitchen stove, bounced off the wall, and headed back.
“Andy and Sally are bringing Helene to dinner after meeting. If we see Tom, let’s bring him home too.”
“I don’t expect to see him,” Mark stated, getting to his feet. He looked at Jenny. “Tom’s one of the strugglers right now.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jenny put the lid on the roaster and shoved it into the oven. “With another piece of wood in there now, we’ll have dinner as soon as we get home.”
“I’ll wait a few minutes,” Mark said. He was still studying her face and Jenny looked up. “Tom is beginning to wonder if he wants to push on with Joseph’s teachings. You know he’s been asked to join in the Council of Fifty.”
“What’s that?”
Mark shrugged. “I can tell you little, my dear, except that right now Joseph is causing a flurry among some of the men, the ones to whom he’s revealed the kingdom of God secrets.”
“Not you? Not his prize attorney?”
“That’s correct. And there’s good reason for that. From what I’ve gathered just by observing, the men come out of those meetings feeling one of two ways.”
“I don’t understand.”
“They’re either elated—walking on air, or they’re scared, angry, and depressed.”
She studied him for a moment before saying slowly, “Mark, at Relief Society there’s been some of the women acting the same way. The whispers about spiritual wives are growing into more than the usual snickers and teasing.
“I’m seeing troubled women. Embarrassed ones. Some are whispering that their husbands are angry, threatening to leave the church. They mentioned the fact that the Book of Mormon teaches against polygamy, calling it a whoredom.
“Others are outraged, like the Laws. They want a change. I know for a fact that some of the families have invested a great deal of money in the church to build the temple and buy property.”
She turned to pick up John Mark’s sweater and her shawl. Mark hesitated and then said, “Jenny, I have a feeling that trouble’s brewing out there. We may be called upon to make some big decisions, and in a hurry.”
She saw his eyes, but her fearful thoughts were running ahead. The church, the endowments, John Mark.
After Sabbath meeting, while Mark and Jenny were walking back to their buggy, they listened to the couple in front of them. The woman was saying, “Why does Joseph keep talking about polygamy? Nearly every week he seems to feel called to deny a new charge.”
Her husband replied, “I’d like to know why Joseph keeps bringing up the Missouri issue. I’m sick of being reminded of those bad days. If he’d just let sleeping dogs lie, we’d all be better off. The good Book tells us to forgive, and I think that’s pretty good advice.”
When they reached the buggy, Mark said, “Well, what are you thinking?”
She looked surprised. “I was thinking about what Brother Kimball said a couple of weeks ago, comparing it to the Book of Mormon. Mark, the Book of Mormon says there’s no chance for a person after death. I take that to mean there’s not one thing a person can do to change where he’ll spend eternity once he dies.”
Mark nodded. “That’s right, and the Bible agrees.”
“But,” she continued, “Brother Kimball indicates these sinners will go to hell, have the corruption burned out of them and then end up in heaven as servants. Then the sermon today talked about the unredeemed being angels forever.”
“I heard it too,” he said looking at her with a quizzical frown.
“And there’s no chance for an angel to be a god?”
“Well, not according to the church doctrine. Jenny, what is troubling you?”
“Well, then, I can’t understand how an angel named Michael can become Adam who was God. That’s the creation story.”
Tom was waiting for them when they reached home. But his happy grin disappeared when the Morgans’ buggy wheeled in behind them. “Oh,” Mark groaned. “Poor Tom; he’ll have to put up with Helene.”
After dinner Tom and Helene, with Tamara in tow, disappeared down the lane while Mark and Andy wandered out to the barn. Jenny settled John Mark for his nap and began the dishes. “Sally, why don’t you just sit in the rocking chair and talk to me?”
She was shaking her head as Jenny spoke. Seeing the dark shadows in her eyes and her restless pacing, Jenny handed her a dish towel. They worked in silence until Jenny said, “How are you feeling now?”
Sally shook her head. After another long silence, she said, “The worst part is deceiving Andy. It’s getting to the place where I can’t pretend any longer, and he thinks it’s his fault.”
“Why don’t you just ask him to take you away from here?”
“That wouldn’t solve the past; besides, remember, I’m earning my right to the eternities.”
Jenny finished scrubbing the roaster and turned to Sally. “Have you been reading in the Bible?” She shook her head and Jenny stood watching her helplessly. Finally she said, “The only person I can think of who’d be able to help you is Mark. He knows so much about the Bible—”
Sally turned and looked at Jenny with a puzzled frown, and Jenny realized the separation between them. “Sally, I should have told you. I believe the Bible is God speaking to me, telling me how to live, what to think about Him. He tells me about sin and forgiveness. The words in the Book give hope when it seems impossible.” She paused and searched Sally’s face. “Do you understand?”
“I understand that you have changed. You used to use the charms and the secret things. They frightened me, mostly because of the way you looked when you used them. But they were mysterious and exciting, too. Now—you’re talking about the Bible, and Joseph says it isn’t translated correctly. He says corrupt men have done this. Jenny, I’m too fearful to trust when you say trust and he says don’t.”
The look on Sally’s face told Jenny that she had closed the door.
In the late afternoon the Morgans left for home. Mark stood beside Jenny as the buggy rambled down t
he lane. He saw the hopeless expression on Jenny’s face as she turned away.
Tom was saying, “Come on, Mark, let’s go try that new fishing pole of yours.”
“In the river?” Jenny asked slowly. “Well, go along. I don’t want to hike down that steep bank. Maybe I’ll bake a gingercake.”
Mark led the way across the pasture and into the woods. “There’s a pretty good path right through here, and I’ve managed to trample it down. I’d like to get a good-sized bass. Think this pole is strong enough?” He peered at Tom. “Something wrong?”
“Naw, not much. Just talk again. There’s a rumor floatin’ around that the Lodge is in trouble. Seems the Grand Worshipful Master from Springfield is a mite upset. They’re claiming we’re corrupting the Masonic ritual. They’ve ordered Joseph to send the records into Springfield, and he’s takin’ his time about doin’ it. I ’spect we’ll lose out yet. Mostly I don’t like them charging us with bein’ clandestine, whatever that’s supposed to mean.”
They scrambled down the last slope and made their way out on the rocks. Tom continued, “Seems to me that the Lodge was the best thing that’s happened to the church in a long time. Seemed to give us new direction.”
In silence Mark threaded the line and Tom baited the hook. Then he handed the pole to Tom. “Here, you use it first.”
Tom cast out and flashed an approving grin. “That’s smooth!” They settled down on the rocks and watched the line drift.
Mark shifted his weight on the rock and heard the clink of metal. As he turned toward the sound he saw the disk catch the sun as it dropped from the rock to the sandy shore. “I wonder—might be a coin,” he murmured, jumping off the rock.
“Got a bite,” Tom said. “Aw, lost the bait.” He pulled in the line and reached for the worms as Mark crawled up on the rock. “Well, what did you find?”
Mark pulled the disk out of his pocket. “Thought it was a dollar, but it seems to be some kind of medallion.”
Tom dropped his line into the water and turned to take the medal. “Looks like lead. Hey, there’s writing and numbers on it. I bet that’s Jenny’s. She mentioned having a talisman and was wishing she had it back.”
“Did she lose it?” Mark asked, studying the curious disk.
“I can’t rightly remember. All I know is she was wishing for it. Seems it means a great deal to her—more’n a good luck charm.” Tom turned quickly, “There!”
Mark watched him pulling in a big bass. Tom grinned up at him. “Might be, if she doesn’t want it, you ought to be using it for fishing. Sure works.”
When they walked into the kitchen, Tom held out the fish and sniffed hungrily. “Well, here’s supper. I’ll trade for some of that cake.”
He put the fish on the table. “Jen, is this your talisman? Mark found it down on the rocks.”
Mark saw the color leave Jenny’s face as she took a hesitant step toward Tom and slowly reached for the disk. For a moment, before her hand closed around it, Mark thought she was going to refuse it.
He watched her close her fingers around it and tuck it into her pocket. Then he remembered why the little disk seemed familiar. This was the talisman he had seen lying beside her mittens on the mantel of their cabin in Missouri.
Chapter 37
The first Monday in March, on the way into Nauvoo, Mark met Orson Pratt and they completed the ride together.
Orson said, “March is in like a lamb; does this foreshadow life roaring like a lion in Nauvoo this spring?”
Mark looked at him. “Not unless you know more about life than I do. As of last week I was thinking life had tamed down a bit.”
“Well, I know Joseph’s been touching men for the honor of being on the Council of Fifty. He’s calling them princes and saying this will be the highest court on earth.”
As Mark continued to listen to Pratt, pricks of apprehension began to make him uneasy. Orson interrupted himself to ask, “You’ve been asked, haven’t you?”
Slowly Mark said, “Yes, but I’m beginning to wonder what I’m getting into.” Pratt’s eyes were sparkling. Mark said, “I suppose it’s just a juvenile fear of the unknown. But I hope Joseph’s kept the rest of you men better informed than he has me.”
When Mark walked up the stairs to the office, he found Tom waiting for him. “Well, Brother Tom, I didn’t expect to see you this early in the morning. Clayton, yes, Joseph, maybe, but Tom, no.” Now he noticed Tom’s grin was uneasy.
He glanced at Joseph’s door and Tom said, “He ain’t here yet, that’s how come I am.”
“Spill it; he’ll be here shortly.”
“You been tapped for the Council of Fifty?” Mark nodded. “Planning on joining?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“On account of Jenny? Maybe not. I come a-beggin’ you to do it.” Mark let his eyebrows express his feelings. “I know,” Tom added. “But there’s some weird things a-movin’ into town. We’re goin’ to need some normality to the proceedings.”
“Thanks, Brother,” Mark said. Tom let his chair crash down on all four legs as he headed for the door.
Tom’s eyes under the thatch of straw-colored hair were as bright as marbles. “She still got the talisman?”
Mark shrugged. “I suppose so.” Tom left the room and clattered down the stairs.
****
John Mark was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor pounding his wooden spoon on a tin pie pan.
Balancing the talisman on her fingertips, Jenny stood beside the stove. In the two weeks since the charm had been returned to her, Jenny had pondered the significance behind its return. Night and day, the thoughts had nagged her.
Jenny sighed and carried her brooding thoughts into the parlor away from John Mark’s clatter. She sat in the chair beside the table and looked at her Bible. Strange, she mused, it was starting to look like Mark’s, with the edges curling out in that inviting manner, suggesting all sorts of interesting things inside.
She murmured the verse she had discovered yesterday: “And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.”
She closed her eyes and let the thought drift through her, to carry where it would. “Mark,” she whispered, and her fingers tightened around the talisman. When she felt the tears on her face, she knew that she had decided.
She addressed the Presence. “I won him by unfair means with the talisman. I deserve to lose him. But more than that, the Book is telling me that I can’t claim anything of God. The knowing, the gentle love of Jesus, the promise that’s leading me along—none of this is mine unless I do just as those people in the book of Acts did when they burned the charms and books.”
With a sigh, Jenny got out of the chair and then paused. For only a moment did she hesitate; then quickly, while she dared, she ran up the stairs and pulled out of the trunk a paper-wrapped parcel.
Back in the kitchen Jenny lifted the stove lid and shoved the green book and the talisman in. John Mark abandoned his pie pan and came to stand beside her. He looked up at her with the solemn blue-green eyes of his father.
The book caught fire and the talisman slipped down through the ashes. Jenny replaced the lid and knelt to take John Mark in her arms. “Da?” he questioned, and she buried her tears in his blue sailor suit.
After Jenny fed John Mark and carried him up the stairs, she found it impossible to leave him. Together they snuggled under the quilt. She watched as his eyes closed, and kissed the damp hand he flung at her.
She slept, and she dreamed. Rising out of sleep she was conscious of the spiraling, the flash of the silver chalice, and the wash of purple wine. The words were on her lips, “I baptize thee in the name of Jesus Christ.” Jenny took a deep breath and was conscious of relaxing, sinking into the softness of sleep.
Mark and Orson rode home together, each silent and heavy with thoughts of that first council meeting. Mark wondered if
Orson was signifying by his silence that he, too, was feeling the slash of words, the violation.
Just before they reached the Pratt farm turnoff, Orson tilted his head and looked at the full moon. “Guess it takes a man who is called of God, one who’s communed with the Almighty, to put forth a vision no mortal would dare dream.”
Mark’s heart sank; he couldn’t think of a reply. Orson continued, “I nearly need to pinch myself. Imagine what this world’s going to be like in another few years! Somehow I can see Joseph striding along, king of the whole world, but I just can’t see a humble man like me.” He turned, “I suppose the biggest fear is trying to imagine handling the people like a monarch is supposed to.”
He looked curiously at Mark. “You’re his attorney; did you have any idea that he was going to be made king of the kingdom of God?”
Jenny and Mark were at the breakfast table when Tom came. John Mark had porridge running down his chin and he was crowing his delight at the world. “Birthday boy,” Jenny said; she was kissing his curls when the door opened.
Seeing his face, she whispered, “Tom.” He crossed the kitchen and dropped heavily into a chair at the table.
Fingering the knife and fork lying there, he said, “I couldn’t take having you find out when you drove into Nauvoo. And I knew you’d want to go to the funeral.”
They waited, and finally he lifted his head. “Sally.” After another pause, “Andy’s takin’ it pretty hard. She’d taken something.”
Jenny was rubbing her numb lips, saying, “Less than three weeks ago—oh, Mark, I could see—I tried to tell her about reading the Bible. I felt so helpless, but I honestly didn’t think this would happen. It’s my fault, isn’t it?”
“How could you possibly think that?” She shook her head and pressed her lips together.