Elizabeth stared at the carved handle and the long silver barrel. She watched as Uriah lifted an upper mattress and placed the gun beneath it. “I could never shoot a man.”
Caleb grinned, “My dear, I somehow find that comforting.”
THREE WEEKS INTO THE voyage, Mary leaned over the side of the ship while clinging to the railing with one hand and her rose colored bonnet with the other. Uriah stood ready to grab her arm. Fascinated, she watched the waves part at the bow and then lift high against the side of the three-masted square-rigger. So far, they had suffered only one small storm and this day yielded smooth, clear sailing.
“Mary, do you think you will ever tire of doing this?”
“Never! I find the rushing water exciting.”
“But each day you watch the waves as though you see them for the first time.”
Mary straightened up, parted her feet to brace herself, turned her back against the wind, and used both hands to retie her bonnet ribbons. “I do believe I love the sea. There is freedom in the wind and the water, we've not a Redcoat in sight and Lady Phillips does not ring her bell.”
Uriah smiled, “And we are nearly half way to America?”
“Precisely. Never have I been so happy.” She retook her favorite position and leaned out again to watch the waves.
“Mary, Caleb is quite concerned. His wife finds our sleeping quarters completely unacceptable.”
“Elizabeth complains about everything, it means nothing.”
“Yes, but Caleb fears she will stop loving him.”
She finally stood up and turned to face him, “It is not the sleeping quarters. Elizabeth's discontent is with her husband.”
Uriah was surprised, “She does not love him?”
“She loves him greatly. But we, neither my sister nor I, were prepared for the ways of men.”
“Neither of you?” He carefully studied her face, “Mary, are you unhappy?”
She hung her head, “Unhappy? No, not precisely. It's just that...”
“Go on.”
“Well, I would be far happier, if you loved me just a little.”
“What?”
“Do not mistake my meaning, you are a fine husband, and in the beginning, I did not expect you to love me.”
“But Mary, I...”
“Please, allow me to finish.” She took a quick breath and continued while her courage was still intact. “Ours was a marriage of comfort. We were dear friends, finally found and it was enough in the beginning.”
Uriah turned to look out across the vastness of the water. Yet, he listened intently to his wife's words.
“I was content to feel safe and protected, but the day John was born, something changed. You were overcome with joy and for the first time you kissed me.”
“It is not so, Mary, I have kissed you often.”
“Aye, you kiss me tenderly when I need comfort and warmly when you desire me. Aside from that, you do not touch me. But that day, you took me in your arms and allowed me to feel your strength.”
“But...”
Mary was determined, “Uriah, will you let me finish?”
“Please do.”
“Thank you. As I was saying, in your embrace was a fierceness and an affection I had not considered. You held me for such a very long time and I wished it would never end. Then you kissed me passionately. It...” Mary abruptly stopped. Less than a foot from her, a sailor grabbed the end of the rigging and started up the mast. She watched until he could no longer hear her. “It was in that kiss that I began to love you. Too soon, you pulled away and went off to London. In the days of your absence, my desire for you grew until I found myself in utter agony. I longed to be in your arms. But when you did come, your passion was gone. You turned your attention instead to our son.”
Her words bit deep into his heart. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, “I can explain.”
“There is no need. Besides, I have a confession. I found jealousy in my heart for a helpless little boy and it was quite some time before I realized the fault was not his. After that, I learned to simply be glad of your affection for him. Still, it is that sort of affection Elizabeth finds wanting in her marriage. Caleb exhibits it easily to John, but not to his wife. He regards Elizabeth in the same manner you regard me.”
“I see.”
“There is more,” she went on, her determination turning to anger. “Must you stand so close to me?”
“What?” He started to draw away.
“I do not mean now, I mean normally. I've this need to touch you and your being so close is quite maddening. We've no privacy at all and...” Nearly in tears, she stopped and looked away.
He waited, but she did not continue. Finally, he spoke, “I'll try to be more mindful.”
“Thank you.”
“And I'll have a word with my brother.”
“For that, I thank you as well. Tell him he must tell her he loves her and hold her often. And one more thing. Now that I have confronted you, I have embarrassed myself and I am filled with remorse. I should never have been so bold. Promise we will not speak of this again.”
“But, Mary...“
“Please, please do not say you love me. I would know I forced you.” She turned and headed across the deck.
Uriah watched her walk away and brought a hand up to rub his brow, “But I do love you.”
THAT NIGHT, THE DARKNESS below deck was complete. In the lower bunk, Uriah lovingly touched the boarded underside of the place where his wife lay. Mary too, was still awake. She checked the sleeping boy beside her, and then turned on her side. She started to lower her hand over the side ... to reach for him, but there was no point. Even if she had the courage, Caleb and Elizabeth were in the same room.
A week later, their uneasiness was long since forgotten. Mary again hung over the side of the ship and Uriah stood nearby ready to grab her if she started to fall. John played with other passengers and Caleb and Elizabeth took a turn about the deck, looking more in love than ever before.
Mary stood up straight, adjusted her hat and smoothed the front of her blue, lace trimmed frock. “We are blessed with calm waters, clear blue skies and no seagulls. I detest seagulls – their squawking reminds me of Lady Phillips.”
“We'll be glad enough to see them when we reach America. And you've not mentioned Lady Phillips in a week. Tell me, have you finished the post to her?”
She examined the wide base of the main mast for a moment, and then followed the taper up with her eyes until she could see the bright blue and white flags fluttering in the wind, “I finished it before we left Bristol.”
“And did you mail it?”
“Elizabeth insisted. She left it with the Inn Keeper.”
Uriah blinked back his alarm and worded his next question very carefully, “Did you happily say we set sail for the Colonies?”
Mary did not notice his discomfort, her attention drawn instead to the crew adjusting the sails. “Quite happily, and I insisted she forward our pay. She'll not do it, naturally, but I see no harm in demanding it. I promised to send proper directions when we land.”
“I see.”
At last, she turned to him, her expression timid, yet serious. “Uriah, I have a question. The first mate warned of storms to come, and I was hoping...I mean, I would very much like to read you mother's Bible aloud when we are encased below. Reading it aloud might bring comfort to the others.”
“And for that you need my permission?”
“Well, no, but it is your mother's Bible.”
“The Bible is yours now, to do with as you see fit. Providing...”
“What?”
“Providing you do not change the words.”
Mary frowned, “Elizabeth should not have told you.”
“I’m glad she did. You've not played a joke since we boarded ship and I fear the next to be on me. In fact, I check my hat for tree sap every time I put it on.”
“I am far too grateful to play jokes. Have you s
een how the sailors scrub every inch of this ship? And when it is complete, they begin again. Mister Evans climbs the pole with his pot of galley grease and spreads it on all sides of the masts to keep them moist. I'd not enjoy that position at all. So you see, I am extremely grateful that I am not servant to the Captain of this ship!”
The seamen began a new chantey, the wind carried their voices from bow to stern, and nearly everyone stopped to listen to the catchy tune that helped the sailors pass the time as they worked. Most of the single men, normally engrossed in card games, paused and the eldest couple, Mister and Mrs. Caufield, halted in their usual morning stroll.
FOR MOST OF THE VOYAGE, the youngest couple, Caroline and LeRoy Grayson, seemed to be avoiding each other and this day was no different. A small woman, Caroline’s blonde hair and big brown eyes betrayed her youth, and often she played with John, hugging him and kissing his cheeks at every opportunity. Her dark haired husband wore a constant glower, usually could be found leaning against a mast and paid little attention to her.
Too soon, the sailors ended their new song and went back to singing an older one. Mary joined Caroline to play with John and Uriah leaned against the rail, looking out across the endless water. In the distance, clouds had begun to gather – white fluffy clouds growing larger and darker as they climbed above the horizon.
Uriah felt a slight nudge against his arm and when he turned, First Mate Masters was standing beside him, nodding toward the center of the ship. Uriah turned around.
“Pretend to be understanding the rigging, Mister Carson.” Masters pointed down at the coiled rope, then up at the sails. Obediently, Uriah followed the finger and nodded. “Something be amiss. We be off course, though the Captain denies it. We've not seen another ship in days...not even bloody pirates and the food be running low.” Masters tipped his short round hat and walked away.
Uriah continued to stare upward. Then slowly, he lowered his eyes. Mary laughed when John playfully flopped into her arms. Caleb was telling a joke to a fellow passenger and Elizabeth was speaking with Caroline Grayson.
Suddenly, a sailor yelled from his perch, “Dolphins, Captain! Starboard! They swim like their tails be on fire.”
Instantly, the passengers rushed to the starboard side of the ship. The sleek black bodies of the dolphins shot out of the water only to bend and dive down again. School after school whipped past the tall ship, intermittently breaking the surface of the water. Then they were gone.
Once more, Master's walked to Uriah. “You'll find leather straps for the boy in the candle cupboard. Bad storm a coming, the dolphins be a sure sign.”
CHAPTER 5
The storm lasted only two hours to the relief of both passengers and crew, but several days later, they faced an even worse storm. This time there were no dolphins to warn them, only forceful winds, enormous black clouds and swelling waves. Soon after the air grew heavy and the rain started, the passengers went below while the crew of The Benison Felicity furled the sails and prepared for the rage of the sea.
Then it began. Lightning repeatedly stretched its bright forks against the dark western sky, followed by frightening claps of rolling thunder. First one, then two men held the wheel tight to keep the massive rudder straight. At the bow, Masters tied himself to the forestay and rode the pitch of the vessel as it reared – then plunged with each new wave. His face mercilessly whipped by the gale, he constantly tested the tightness of the water soaked ropes, and watched for other ships and dangerous chunks of ice.
Captain MacPherson shouted orders above the unearthly whine of the wind through the rigging as wave after wave crashed on the deck. Ordinary sailors fought to keep the tethered sails from breaking their restraints. When his shouts could be heard no more, MacPherson added his strength to the wheel. Again and again, the wheel tension slackened, only to abruptly tighten again in the violent thrash of the next wave.
Finally, the wind subsided. The lightning and dark clouds passed, the rain eased, the waves calmed – and the sea rested.
At the sound of footsteps, all the passengers gathered in the small, cramped center room of the 'tween’ deck, looked up. Painfully slow at first, wood scraped against wood until the hatch was lifted and the dim sunlight filtered in. Fresh air rushed forward and streams of water dropped to the floor.
Seated at the table, Mary pulled her blanket tight around her shoulders. She dismissed the sickening odor of vomit and urine, and drank in the cool, fresh air. “A whole day. I thought it would never end.”
Elizabeth watched as the others started up the stairs, but she didn't get up and soon, only the Carsons and Caroline Grayson remained below. “It has been seven weeks, surely we near land.”
Mary nodded, “Perhaps we should go up to see.”
“I'll go,” Caleb said, wrapping his blanket around Elizabeth.
In her late teens, Caroline Grayson once more checked the blanket around the sleeping child in her lap. “I heard a scream.”
“Scream? I heard no scream,” said Mary.
“I heard it as well,” Uriah put in.
Elizabeth smirked, “All I heard was the howl of the wind and...”
Before she could finish, Caleb scurried back down the stairs. “Three men lost! Mister Simon, Mister Dean, and Mister Yeps. Captain said half a yard snapped off in the wind and the men were flung overboard.”
Mary caught her breath, “Oh, no. Is there no way to recover them?”
“Mister Masters says it is hopeless.”
Everyone was silent for a long moment, and then Elizabeth asked, “Land?”
“No land,” Caleb answered, “but at least the rain filled the fresh water barrels.”
“I hate this ship and the storms terrify me,” Elizabeth groaned.
Caroline bowed her head and looked as though she might cry, “It is not the storms I fear. We must be nearly out of food. First, we were given only two meals a day, and then the portions grew smaller. This week, we see but one meal and I begin to think the Captain is a very cruel man.”
URIAH LEANED AGAINST one side of the huge, round capstan in the center of the poop deck with his arms folded. Caleb leaned against the other. It was the end of the ninth week and except for a few men in the sails high above, they were alone. Uriah's dark eyes had become dull from the lack of food, his facial hair had not been trimmed and his jacket was becoming loose. October meant cold air.
“No wind the same as yesterday,” he muttered.
Caleb's eyes were bloodshot when he glanced up at the sagging sails just to confirm once more that nothing was moving. “We have no land, no food, and now...no wind.”
“We also have a fortune in useless jewels.”
“Useless, indeed.”
The next day, long after their husbands had taken John topside, Elizabeth still struggled to make the button of her long, heavy coat go into the button hole. “Wind, at last,” she breathed.
Mary worked hard to straighten the woolen blankets on her husband's bed. Then her foot brushed against the leather bound book on the floor. She stopped, gripped the bed post to steady herself and bent down to pick it up. In the light of a lone candle, she opened the front cover of her Bible and counted the marks. “Sixty-seven days. I begin to think there is no America.” She closed the book and examined the cover. “Even Jonah did not spend sixty-seven days in the belly of the whale.”
Mary sighed, tucked the Bible under the mattress and went back to smoothing the blankets. As soon as her head began to swim, she lowered herself onto the bed, curled her legs and pulled the blankets up over her. “Everything seems so heavy, sister.”
Elizabeth didn't answer.
At length, Mary forced her eyes open and turned to look. Elizabeth was curled up on Caleb's bed, so Mary closed her eyes again, “Uriah is right. We must go up to the pleasant air. But when we are landed, I fully intend to sleep for a week. I am so very hungry, sister. Are you tempted to eat the rats?”
Still, Elizabeth didn't answer.
&nb
sp; “Well, I am tempted. Yesterday, I prayed that God would give us an easy death. Starvation is so very cruel, and today, I hardly have the strength to pray at all. Do you pray, Elizabeth? Elizabeth, do you hear me?” When she still didn't answer, Mary slowly shoved back the blankets, eased her legs off the bed and sat up. Hanging on to the pole straps, she made her way across the room, leaned down and put her hand on her sister's face.
“No! Oh, no!” Mary leaned into the passage way and shouted, “Someone...anyone...fetch Mister Carson. Elizabeth has the fever!”
ELIZABETH WASN’T THE only one ill – three days later, four ordinary seamen tied ropes around the blanketed body of LeRoy Grayson, and reverently lowered it over the side. Young Caroline Grayson watched until the sea consumed her husband, and then buried her head in her hands, “We were not supposed to be on this ship.”
Mary wrapped her arm around Caroline's waist and guided her back toward the hatch. “There, there, you must not cry, Caroline. You must keep your strength.”
Behind her, Captain MacPherson had opened his book and was reading the 23rd Psalm:
“Yea though I walk through the valley...”
Caroline paused, looked back, and then allowed Mary to help her down the steps. “We were not supposed to be on this ship,” she repeated.
Standing next to his brother, Uriah waited until Mary and Caroline were out of sight. Shivering, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “It is a horrid way to die.”
Caleb closed his eyes and hung his head, “I will never forgive myself if Elizabeth passes. It was I who insisted we go to America.”
“People die at sea and on land, we cannot prevent it nor foresee it. All we can do is stay together and cherish the time we have. It was what our mother wanted.” As he always did, Caleb began to turn away, but this time Uriah grabbed his arm, “Brother, what is it? Why am I not allowed to speak of her?”
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