The two Immortals, seven servants, four girls, and many musicians stared at me.
“I am going to take my rest now,” Xerxes said. “You are all dismissed.”
To me he said, “Go and prepare for tonight. Prepare for your first night as queen.”
I held my breath once more as I left Xerxes’ chamber.
“I am queen,” I told myself. I am queen.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
* * *
HER MAJESTY
Parsha stood just outside the king’s chamber. He moved his gaze over my hair, which was still piled atop my head, and then to the cosmetics undisturbed upon my eyes and cheeks. He sniffed at me like a dog, and a smirk spread across his face.
“I see the king does not want another foolish girl,” he said quietly. “Not even for a night.”
“You would do well to keep your words sweet, Parsha, or you will soon be eating them.”
“My father sent Halannah to sate the king’s hunger yesterday,” he said quietly. “She has never left these chambers without some sign of the king’s touch.”
I did not like the thought of the king lying with Halannah, but if she had satisfied him enough that he was able to go all night without touching me as deeply as he wanted to, then she had helped make me queen.
I heard someone rushing up behind me. “I am to take you to the queen’s chambers, Your Majesty, and to serve as one of your personal escort.”
Parsha’s beautiful eyes were not so beautiful as they bulged from their sockets. His mouth twitched but no words came out. He made a sound like that of an animal surprised by an arrow in its flank.
I smiled and turned to the Immortal who had spoken. One of his eyes was brown, the other green. I could read no emotion upon his face. Behind him were five more Immortals I had never seen. “I must go first to my former chambers to gather my things,” I told him.
“The king has seen to it, Your Majesty.”
“And my servant?”
“I do not know.”
I was not certain whether I should send him back to the king to find out, and I did not want to seem uncertain in front of Parsha. “I am eager to see my chambers,” I said, turning away from the king’s door.
It was strange to move through the palace surrounded by Immortals—two in front of me, one on either side, and two following close behind. Xerxes was tall enough that he could easily see over his escorts’ heads, but my own escort took up much of my view.
As we neared my new chambers my regret at not asking the king if Ruti could continue her service to me grew. But when I entered the receiving room with two of my escort, Ruti was waiting. She fell to her knees upon the beautiful crimson, green, blue, and gold rug beneath her and laughed more happily than I had heard anyone laugh since I had arrived at the palace. “It is much more comfortable to kneel in this chamber than anywhere else I have been, my queen. This is the greatest moment of my life. I have already pledged myself to you, but I will do so again now. You will be the greatest queen Persia has ever known, and I will be beside you until my dying day.”
“Leave us,” I told my escort. When they were gone I dropped to my knees in front of Ruti and we wrapped our arms around each other.
“Our matriarch Sarah lived for one hundred and twenty-seven years,” Ruti whispered, “and you rule over one hundred twenty-seven provinces. Surely this is no coincidence.”
I pulled back to look at her.
“You have risen higher than any other woman in the world, and this can only be for one great purpose,” she said, grabbing my hands. “To save our people. Our God has not deserted us.”
“Perhaps He has not.” I slid one of my hands out from hers and looked around the room. “Though I cannot quite believe that I am queen, when I behold the table long enough to seat at least thirty guests and the golden reliefs of lions and ibex, I know that by some miracle I am.”
“Your wealth will sway many people to our cause, if you use it wisely. But”—she squeezed my hand—“we can think about that later. Let us take another moment to breathe in the joy of this occasion.”
It was not long before we heard arguing coming from outside the receiving room. “You cannot go in.” It was the voice of the Immortal with one brown eye and one green eye.
“I am the keeper of the women. And of a few guards as well. I have more men in my employ than you have saved or even killed. Move from my path.”
“You are no longer the keeper of this woman, little man.”
I rushed to open the door. “My lord!” To assuage his pride, I said, “I have been waiting for you.”
As he fell to his knees and bowed his head I realized I was no longer expected to call him “my lord.” His voice, however, was not so humble as his posture. “Your Highness, I have had to wait to see you as well.”
I turned to the Immortal with different-colored eyes. “Thank you for your vigilance, but Hegai may be granted full access to my chambers.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” The Immortal bowed his head only slightly. Not as much as he should, I thought.
It was odd to walk before Hegai, but after the Immortal’s halfhearted show of respect I was careful not to give him reason to think I was anything less than queen. Hegai followed me into the receiving room. I marveled at it once again. It was nearly as luxurious as the king’s. I took off my sandals and pressed my feet into the rug. I saw that just as in the rest of the palace there were gazelles, griffins, and archers. The perimeter of the huge room was lined with fat satin cushions. Silk curtains, which hung from thick golden rods, were tied back to reveal a set of heavy doors. Ruti hurried to open them, and light flooded the room. I walked toward it, and stepped out onto the balcony. I looked down upon trees whose fruits I could almost taste: sour cherry, pomegranate, apple, fig.
Next I explored the wardrobe connected to my chambers. “An attendant will be brought to care for your robes,” Hegai said.
I felt guilty gazing at the exiled queen’s things. Will I ever be able to think of all this as mine? Chests of scarves and jewels extended from one end of the wardrobe to the other. Shelves of gem-encrusted leather sandals took up all of one wall. More than a hundred fine robes of different materials—linen, silk, and velvet—hung from hooks all around me. In a chest at the back I found veils of every color, almost none without gems or gold of some kind. I was certain I was looking at the vastest wardrobe in all the world. Which of these veils would Vashti have worn? I picked up one that was purple and had a band of gold coins. I brought it to my nose, searching for a sign of the exiled queen. Any physical trace of her had been erased. Only the king’s desire for her kept her spirit inside the palace walls.
When I was done marveling at my new quarters I turned to Hegai. “Thank you for all of this. I will share these riches with you and Ruti.”
“Do I look like I am wanting for riches?” Perhaps he was unhappy that I had not addressed him with “my lord.”
“I know you are wealthy beyond measure, I only wanted to express my thanks. We have done what we set out to do.”
“What we set out to do was reform the harem. Our struggle has only just begun.”
I turned away from him. I wanted a moment in which the only thing everyone wanted to do was celebrate our victory.
“May we sit, Your Highness.” His voice did not get higher at the end of his words—he was not asking. And why shouldn’t he give me an order? He has brought us here, after all, I told myself. But this did not rid me of my irritation.
“Ruti, some refreshment please.” To honor Hegai, I said, “The finest.”
“Nothing less ever again, Your Majesty.” Ruti bowed low and went to the kitchens.
Hegai did not make small talk and he did not wait for the wine. “New queen, do not let this splendor make you forget all I have told you: if you are not sharper than your enemies you will be assassinated.”
I sighed. There was no way to avoid a conversation with Hegai.
“The greater portion of be
ing sharp is figuring out who they are,” he said, “but you will never be fully certain.”
“I am most certain of the one I have not met yet.”
“Yes. What you are not certain of is who takes Haman’s coins and whispers secrets in his ear. But I have faith you will soon know. Tonight you will meet the two men who rule the empire.”
“Does not the king rule?”
“Yes, he and Haman. You will meet the true king for the first time, the king as he is when he stands at the head of his empire. He will not seem to you to be the same king you met last night. It is no longer you that he will be concerned with. He will introduce you to Haman in the hopes that Haman will be impressed by his choice of queen. Pretend you know nothing of his cruelty and appear delighted to meet him.”
“I do not know that I can do this very convincingly.”
“You must try. You can see more when watching a man who does not know he is watched.”
A man. My enemies would no longer be only women. Even before Xerxes’ edict about husbands’ superiority over their wives, men had always been more powerful than women, even men who were not powerful over other men. Shepherds, metal smiths and armorers—makers of all things copper and bronze—moneylenders, men who sold wares at the market—a year ago I was less powerful than any one of these. Now I would have to maneuver my way around the most powerful men in the world.
“Everyone in the palace has ambitions. Every adviser wants to be a top official; every top official wants to be king. Xerxes is always in danger, and hence, little queen, you are as well. If he is assassinated you will be taken by the one who ascends the throne. Or killed. Even if you manage to survive and find favor with the new king, your children will be murdered.”
“How can I keep watch over Xerxes?”
“That will be difficult. You need eyes and ears that can only be gotten through promises and gold. Yet Xerxes should not find you greedy or know you desire anything but him. You must be the sort of queen a king wishes to rain gifts upon.”
“And if one of the men I have bribed—”
“Brought into your service.”
“If one of the men I have brought into my service should tell me of a plot against Xerxes, am I to tell him, and if so, how?”
“Anyone who goes in to see him uninvited is subject to death.”
“I must wait until he calls for me?”
“In that situation it will be your life or his that is in danger. You will get to decide.”
“But if he is assassinated I may be too, so both our lives are in jeopardy.”
“Then you have your answer.”
When Ruti came with the wine I almost cried with relief that I would no longer be alone with Hegai. Perhaps I should not have told the Immortal at the door that Hegai was to be granted full access to my chambers.
“Speaking of your enemies, it is almost time for the banquet in your honor,” Hegai said.
“Let us celebrate first amongst ourselves.”
Hegai did not protest aloud when I invited Ruti to drink with me. It would have been cruel to expect me to drink alone on such a momentous occasion. But the look he gave me was not one of approval. Still, the mood turned festive again. Ruti and I went back to marveling at the vast luxury of my new chambers until there was a knock.
“A messenger from the king,” one of my personal escorts announced.
“Send him in.”
When the door opened I saw that the messenger had two guards of his own. He fell to his knees in front of me and bowed his head. “Your Majesty, I bring your crown.” He held it up to me on a cushion of purple silk.
I did not need to bite down upon it to know it was pure gold. It was decorated with jewels of purple, green, and red.
“Does not the king want to place it upon his new queen’s head at the banquet?” Ruti asked. The messenger looked up, no doubt surprised to be questioned by a servant. I wondered too if he had noticed the second goblet in the room, the one Ruti had quickly set down when I invited the messenger in. It was not a secret that Hegai did not drink wine.
“He does not want his guests to see her as anything but a queen,” Hegai said.
Xerxes is afraid I will seem a peasant.
I did not want the messenger to see me crowned by a servant and the keeper of the women. As soon as Ruti carefully took the pillow from him, I said, “You may go.” I did not like how he looked about the room as he left. If the king were present, the messenger would have left quickly, his eyes upon the path he would take from the room and nothing else.
“It is fitting that you two who have helped me become queen should now put the crown upon my head.”
Hegai snatched the crown from the pillow Ruti held and raised it over my head. “From now on you must always carry yourself as though you have never coughed dust from beating a rug, stumbled beneath the weight of a jug of water carried home from the well, or bent your back to scrub a floor.”
I wondered how he knew the tasks of a peasant girl. But I did not wonder long. I bowed my head and closed my eyes as he lowered the crown down upon my head.
It seemed to me that I felt it when four knees hit the floor at my feet—a reverberation that traveled all the way up my spine. I took a long breath. God, you have placed this crown upon my head. Now please help me bear its weight.
I raised my head up slowly. The crown was heavier than it looked. I would have to be careful not to make any sudden movements or I would send it crashing to the floor.
“Your Majesty,” Hegai said, “you are exquisite. When I look at you I see that Ahura Mazda himself has put this crown upon your head.”
“Thank you, I am very blessed. Will you be at the banquet?”
“No. You must keep your own counsel tonight, my queen.” I tried to look disappointed. But I also felt a little seed of happiness sprouting in my chest. I did not allow myself to smile until he was gone.
While Ruti helped me get dressed I stared at myself in a large slab of polished copper. The golden crown shone upon my thick dark hair as if it were meant for me.
“I am ready to be queen,” I said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
* * *
MY BANQUET
My heart drummed inside my chest as I approached the noise of the banquet hall. Despite my escort, my crown, and the gold and gems that weighed upon my neck, arms, and ankles, I could not help but feel small. The last time I was in the large banquet hall I had just been kidnapped and brought to the palace with numerous other girls, only one of whom would be queen. As I stood in front of it with a crown upon my head, the room seemed just as large as it had then.
My eyes were drawn up toward the ceiling, which was held by six rows of six columns, each higher than twenty men. Even with the deafening clamor of people laughing and yelling, and even through the haze my veil cast over everything, as I gazed up the room felt empty except for the rams’ heads at the top of each column that seemed a warning to all those who dwelled within the palace walls: do not challenge the powers that reside here.
I did not want to seem as impressed as I was, so I quickly lowered my gaze from the ceiling while keeping my chin up. The hall was big enough to host ten thousand guests, not counting the many more who could sit in the balconies. It was filled with more color, shouting, and excitement than even the marketplace had been. Voices echoed, seeming to come from everywhere at once. Princes from all over the empire, along with their attendants, crowded around tables near the dais where the king sat waiting for me. Because Xerxes was Ahura Mazda’s representative ruler on earth, he was kept away from the view of his subjects, except for formal audiences. He sat behind a screen through which nothing but his silhouette was visible—a giant figure elevated upon a stone platform, a huge goblet his only company as he waited for his new wife. We are not so unalike, my king. I felt the reassuring pressure of the Faravahar against my chest. I too am hiding.
I stretched my spine as tall as possible and entered the banquet hall. The king stood
and his subjects’ voices died as they quickly did the same. In the silence that followed, the room seemed to grow larger. I kept my head high for the thousands of eyes that watched as I made the long journey to my new husband.
Before I reached the elevated platform I saw the table of Immortals. The king’s favorites were celebrating like royal sons, drinking without armor on. They sat at one of the tables close to the king’s screen. Parsha was among them, and also, Erez. He looked as though all but his body was elsewhere. His broad shoulders were hunched, and I could not help but wonder what he was thinking.
He turned and looked through my veil, right into my eyes. I was certain he saw me more clearly than anyone else in the room. I took a deep breath and forced myself to look away, back toward the stone dais. Servants hurried up on either side of me so that I would not trip on the three stone stairs I had to climb to stand with the king. Hegai had told me not to approach. Bow and wait to be summoned to come behind the screen. As soon as I was on the dais, though, Xerxes stepped out from behind the screen to meet me. “My queen has returned.”
“Your Majesty,” I said. In my haste to bow the crown slid from my head. He rushed forward to catch it. It looked small in his huge hand. He frowned down at me. “I see you have not chosen any of Vashti’s former attendants. Your servants too must learn to fasten your crown so tightly to your head that nothing can move it.
Nothing but your own advisers. Or is not this the same crown they took from Vashti?
As he continued to stare at me his eyes softened again, and the corners of his mouth lifted. “My queen,” he murmured.
Besides the rings upon his hands he wore only a white tunic and his crown. His thick arms and legs were oiled so that they glistened like those of a man who has just come from the battlefield. When he leaned toward me and bowed, he was still taller than I was. But not so tall I could not discern the three-cornered hat of the man behind him. The man stood closer to the king than any of the king’s own escort, and this is how I knew that he was Haman. I leaned slightly to the side so I could look at the father of my enemies and now, also, my own enemy.
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