by Rue Volley
I pushed myself up quickly and looked around. I don’t know how, but I was in a large white tent, decked out like a whorehouse. I pushed myself against the headboard of an oversized bed, with a red velvet sheet on it, and grabbed my newly drooled on foreign pillow, squeezing it to my chest. I heard laughter, close by… next door maybe, and pushed myself out of the bed and stepped onto the grass floor. I looked down and realized that I was in a white silk nightgown. The panic of who the hell put me in it set in. I looked up and saw the large mirror in the corner and walked to it. I stood there looking at myself in this nightgown and shook my hair out. I actually looked kinda cute. Huh. I heard the laughter next door again and decided that I had to know who, why, what, and when the hell.
I stepped up to the opening in the tent and found the courage to investigate. I immediately smelt the carnival. I closed my eyes and had to grin. I love, love, love the carnival. Always have, always will. Gross food, treacherous rides, freak shows. I was in heaven. Well, I would be… if I knew how the hell I got there, and even why I was there.
I started to walk to the next tent and I could see light coming from it. I could hear lots of laughter too. Well, at least somebody is having a good time. I needed to see who and hopefully find my people. My family that is. They are my people, the only ones that I would consider the horrible word ‘murdering’, for. I swear. My friends too. I am what you call ‘fiercely loyal’ to the ones I love. I protect them at all cost, even if it would mean harm to myself. I touched my head as a slight pain went through it. The word ‘protect’ echoed in my mind.
“I protect at all cost,” I repeated to myself.
I looked at the opening in the tent and suddenly all the nervousness faded and I focused in on Theo and Sam… and Johnathan. I took a breath and ran in with my fists raised up, ready to kick some mega ass if needed. The room went totally silent and I scanned it quickly to see Theo, Sam…Kai, and Johnathan sitting there at a large table, filled to the brim with all kinds of food. The boy with the top hat sat at the head of the table with a pretty blonde to his right. I stood there, my chest rising and falling quickly, as I tried to control the sudden adrenaline rush I had felt right before I charged the tent. Theo stood up and clapped his hands together once and the sound of it made me blink and I looked at him. I shook my head and waited to understand anything… any of this. Sam stood up quickly and smiled at me.
“Hello, Rue. Nice to see you finally woke up,” she said.
I started to lower my hands slowly and my eyebrows crinkled as I half frowned.
“WTF?” I asked.
The room erupted in laughter and Sam walked to me.
She stopped and smiled as she touched my face and shook her head.
“You are gonna be so pissed,” she whispered.
I let my hands fall and she hugged me as I muttered, “Pissed at what?”
She pulled back from me and Theo stood there with his head tilted at me.
I looked at him and blinked a couple of times.
“Okay, why do I feel like I am the only one who has no idea?” I said.
Theo looked at Sam and she walked back to my brother and sat down next to him.
Johnathan stood up and grinned at me, but he looked nervous. I don’t like this, not one bit.
“Listen, I didn’t mean to drink the bottle… I shouldn’t have. If I am still high or whatever, could someone just throw some cold water on me?” I said.
Johnathan rubbed his neck and looked at Theo. Theo turned to me and took my arm; he led me to a chair and I sat down. Not really because I wanted to, but because I was confused. Sometimes your body just does, when your mind doesn’t. I sat down and looked at the boy and girl at the end of the table and they both smiled at me. I tried to not stare at the girl’s pointed teeth, but it was hard. I know it’s rude, but god… her teeth are freaky. I was at the carnival though. She must be in a show here with top hat boy. I looked across the table at Johnathan and he broke his eye contact with me and looked down.
“Rue,” Theo said.
I turned to him and stared, waiting for something sane to suddenly be said.
“I would like to bring you back to us, my love,” he said.
Now, how many times does that get said to a girl? I mean how bizarre.
I looked at him and felt my head nodding. I didn’t think that I did it… my body did… like it just took over for me. Awesome… that my body has it’s shit together, because my mind certainly didn’t. I kept my eyes glued on him and he stood up and raised his glass. He looked around the table and everyone grabbed their glasses. I looked at mine and once again my body did the right thing and grabbed it, raising it up.
“Tonight, Rue Volley returns to her former self… after a long journey. We have missed you terribly,” he said.
“Where have I been?” I asked.
Everyone drank and I lifted the glass to my mouth and took a drink.
I figure why not… go with the flow of my crazy dream. I mean I am dreaming, right?
Theo stepped back from the table and held his hand out to me. I looked at it and glanced at Johnathan and Sam; they smiled and nodded their heads at me. I looked back at Theo and took his hand. I rose up and we walked out of the tent and back to the one I woke up in… or the one I was still dreaming in… oh, who knows. It was the contents of that bottle really sent me tripping.
We stepped into the tent and Theo walked me over to the bed. I sat down and he stood before me; I looked up and he placed his hand on my chin and smiled at me. I wanted to smile back, but I think my facial expression was more like a child’s would be when they think that they are about to get on trouble.
“Rue… I need for you to relax. Close your eyes,” he said to me.
I closed my eyes and tried to block out the screaming coming from the rides.
“I need for you to focus on a color… blue. Draw it into you and feel it. Embrace it, love,” he said.
His voice was so calming that I found myself relaxing instantly; all worry left my mind. I felt like I was lying in the grass, freshly cut… blue sky, clouds floating overhead… making shapes for me to try to figure out. My favorite thing to do, other than watching the stars at night… making out all the constellations… Orion, Aries… the big dipper…
I suddenly felt a vibration like I was sitting on a train track and a train was barrelling towards me. I sucked in my breath and clinched my fists, knotting the red velvet sheet in my hands. I gritted my teeth as I felt Theo touch my face and a shock of electricity blew through me. I sucked in my breath and my head tilted back as bright white flashes welled up behind my eyes… no, not behind them… in the room, over me, around me… coming from me. It pulsated and Theo was talking, but I couldn’t hear him over the loud ringing in my ears. It got louder and louder, until I felt like I would scream from the sheer volume of it…
I suddenly opened my eyes and color was sparking above me, in chaotic patterns… Then it started to slow, like it was in water… like blue oil in water. I slowly took a breath that I could hear so loudly in ears. I reached upward and touched the color, watching it wrap itself around me… curling on my hand, then my arm. My mouth was open as I breathed in and the color slowly came towards my face and inched its way into my mouth… it tasted like honey, sweet… the most amazing taste.
I closed my mouth and looked at Theo… He was swirling in yellow color… brilliant and beautiful… bringing tears to my eyes. It was so beautiful, so perfect… so comforting to see and feel the color on my skin and in my mouth. I started to levitate off of the bed and I grinned as the color swirled around me. Theo backed up, with a look of amazement on his face, like he was watching the birth of the world. I floated there, with the blue color wrapping me up like a blanket on a cold night. I closed my eyes and then, with a rush of adrenaline like I have never felt in my entire life, my body arched and my arms and legs spread out from me.
I screamed out one name and one name only,
“Joshua”
&nb
sp; The sheer sound of his name leaving my lips blew everything away from me, including Theo, who rolled away in a flash. The tent blew apart, like I was an atomic bomb dropped in the center of it. I fell to the bed and lay there; my heart beating so hard in my chest, I felt like it would explode. I tried to slow my breathing as the color swirled over me and then started to settle back into my body.
I felt my mind starting to place pieces back together, like I was working on a jigsaw puzzle. I picked up each moment and placed them in order… making a beautiful picture: A life I had lost, not remembered at all. I was not on my way to school. Johnathan is not a boyfriend to me, although at one point he was, I guess. Theo and Sam were not blood family, but just as close as blood could make you be. Kai was still my brother. Jonah and Lily had redeemed, or started to redeem themselves, in my mind anyway. My first encounter with them was not so pleasant, but the last had saved me from rogues, rogues that they also were. All these things floated back into place until they interlocked into a pattern that made complete sense to me.
I sat up quickly when one face settled in me. The one person that I felt compelled to find and have by my side for an eternity: Josh… with his voice and his grin… his mouth gently touching mine. His touch, that set me on fire, and his heartbeat, that welled up in my ears. I could hear him; his blood called out to me… engulfing my thoughts and putting me on edge.
I looked around and Theo stepped up to me, with his hand outstretched in front of him, like he was welcoming me home. I could still feel the blood rushing through my limbs; my mouth was dry and in desperate need of blood. I reached out to him and he pulled me from the bed as Sam, Kai, and Johnathan ran into the chaotic mess my burst of energy had created. I looked at them, my eyes swirling in blue color, and pushed off of the bed with Theo’s hand in mine. No one spoke at first. I guess no one could think of the right words to say.
I let Theo’s hand go and looked down at my hands. The glow pulsated in the center of both of my palms. I smiled and looked up at all of them as Jonah and Lily ran into the blast zone too. I cleared my throat and grinned.
“I know who I am,” I said.
Johnathan stepped up to me and placed his hand on my face. I looked up at him and continued to grin. He stared into my eyes and looked as if he might cry. It didn’t shock me really. I mean, I had been gone for so long… not known the truth for so long.
“Rue, I… I didn’t know on the train,” Johnathan said.
I smiled and nodded to him.
“I know you didn’t,” I said.
Theo cleared his throat and I looked at him.
“I would have preferred a different way, love… I swear to you, but you were steadfast in your want to go to Valon… I could not; my heart could not bear the loss of you,” he said.
I looked at him and tilted my head.
“I am not mad at you… any of you. I have something I have to do now,” I said to him.
Sam stepped up to me as I started to take a step. I looked at her and she stared at me like I remembered her. She looked tired, worried… worn down from everything we had all been through. I shook my head and touched her face.
“I missed you too,” I whispered to her.
“Rue… please stay with us. I cannot follow where you go.”
She looked back at Theo and I realized that Theo had asked Sam to stay with him, a hard thing to ask… even harder to comply. I was sure that Sam wanted nothing more than to pull her blades and storm the gates of Valon, seeking Josh out without any worry to her own survival… as I would of, as I tried to do. I hugged her and she relaxed against my body, something new to me… but it felt so natural, like we had been close forever.
I pulled back from her and then looked at all of them.
“Where is the mirror?” I asked them.
Jonah looked at me and pulled his top hat from his head. He ran his hand along the rim of it and looked at Theo. Theo waved his hand to him and sat down on the bed. Jonah sighed and shook his head.
“I would not suggest that you try to portal to Trial… You would surely be destroyed there,” he said to me.
I grinned at him.
“Sometimes it is best to at least try, then to live in regret,” I said.
I looked back at Theo and held my hand out to him.
“I have to try, Theo. You have to understand; I love him more than myself,” I whispered.
Theo squeezed my hand and stood up quickly.
He looked around the room and clapped his hands together once.
“We have work to do. I would suggest that we all get prepared,” he said.
I crinkled my eyebrows as I stared at him.
“What is this ‘we’ stuff?” I asked.
Theo smiled so big that it made me nervous.
“We are a family… thrown together in the strangest of manners. As I look at each one of you, I have come to realize that none should bear the weight alone… We will accomplish this together and, after all the dust has settled, we shall see if we are here on this plain… or in memory, hand in hand. For I refuse to be separated from any of you ever again. My heart simply cannot bear it.”
I ran to him and hugged him bear-style. I felt someone hug me from behind and before you knew it, we all stood in a tightly knit circle having a strange moment of clarity… the kind that changes you forever. The moment you realize that you are part of a whole, not alone… never alone. I said I loved my family… and that I do, more than living... more than immortality.
For what is immortality worth, if you live it alone?
I peeked upward and all of our colors swirled above us. One by one they all looked up too… to see the colors swirl together as one. One family, one mission, one mind. I was home. Finally, I had a place and all I needed now is to retrieve Josh and bring him here to me.
I need him and I need them, not want.
***
Josh stopped as a flash of something small passed by him so closely that he felt the wind on his face. He gripped his blade, wishing that he had two of them… but one would have to do. Caine flashed up behind him and stopped. He stepped up to his side and they stood there like one being… a blade to the right, and one to the left.
“I would suggest that we fight as if we were one body, seeing that we only have two blades to wield,” Caine said in a low tone.
Josh shook his head.
“I agree,” he said.
The shadow flashed up to Caine’s side and he sliced his blade quickly through the air. Josh watched the body twist in the air quickly, spinning a few times and then dropping to the ground in a thud. He grinned and gripped his blade, knowing that there were probably more to battle.
A shadow quickly flashed up to Josh and he gritted his teeth. He stabbed his anonymous attacker in the shoulder blade quickly and knelt down to pin it to the ground. Caine swung around in front of him and slammed his blade into the rogue’s other shoulder blade as they both pinned it to the ground. The rogue hissed and grabbed at Josh’s ankle, tearing into his skin with its fingernails. Josh grunted and pulled his blade in a flash and cut its head off. Caine pulled his blade out of the rogue’s shoulder blade and slammed his hand into its body with a bright flash of light. The light, his attack caused, lit up the field and many rogues stood there, motionless… staring at them.
“Awesome,” Josh screamed.
He flashed to the closest rogue and dispensed of him in one fluid motion. The rogue fell where he stood and the chaos began. Caine stood up and flipped his blade in the air as five rogues rushed him. He jumped to catch his blade and spun quickly, cutting every single one of them around him. He drew in his breath and color started to swirl around him like a tornado. Josh had killed four rogues himself already as two more rushed him.
He spun his blade in his hand and screamed, “COME ON!” at them as they started to rush him.
Suddenly a bright flash welled up and Josh and Caine stared in the direction of the blinding light. Josh held his hand up to shield his eyes a
nd Caine stared directly at the light, narrowing his eyes. A figure emerged from the light with a top hat on, clapping his hands. Josh gripped his blade and Caine there surrounded by fallen bodies. Jonah took his hat off and bowed to both of them.
“I would assume that you are in need of assistance here,” Jonah said.
Josh tilted his head. Completely confused. Suddenly flashes came from behind him, Josh stood there trying to focus on what was happening. He tried to see through the light and then a shadow… small in stature, came from the light towards him. He gripped his blade and then his heart fluttered in his chest when the light started to fade and Rue stepped towards him, with a look of calm on her face. He dropped his blade and Caine yelled out to him, but it sounded like an echo in his ears. He started to walk towards her, not worrying about anything around him. The world simply stopped moving as he stared at her face. He stopped about three feet from her and Rue held out her hands to him. He raised his hands as Caine screamed at him.
“My love,” Josh said completely breathless.
Rue grinned and shook her head at him.
“You are in some deep shit,” she said to him.
Josh lunged towards her as Caine tried to flash to them. Theo raised his hands and started to chant in Latin. Caine cried out and hit the ground so hard he skidded across the grass, digging into the ground. Theo looked down at him and tilted his head.
“You need to allow them a moment,” he said.
Caine looked up and realized that Theo was real, Samantha was real… He looked towards the light still flashing and watched Johnathan step into view. He closed his eyes and took a breath, not knowing if they would take the time to find out that he was actually on Josh’s side, the only side that he could be on, there in that wasteland.
***
Josh looked at me and then he pulled me to him, engulfing me in his warmth. I buried my head in his chest and started to cry. It was one of those cries that comes but once in a lifetime… the kind that purges you of everything awful and fills you with joy. He pulled me closer and closer until I felt like we were one. I placed my head on his chest and heard his familiar heartbeat, the one that had haunted me in the asylum, haunted me when I returned from memory… the only one that beats the same as my own.