by Rue Volley
I turned suddenly when I heard a voice call out my name. I looked across the field and saw a figure walking towards me. I narrowed my eyes and tried to focus on it, but it shifted… like a shadow. I stretched my fingers at my sides and decided to walk towards it. I was so sick of letting everything come to me. I really was. After everything I had been through that year, those past couple of years, I was so far from being the last to meet something head on.
I started to walk and the shadow stopped moving. I continued to walk towards it, and then I found myself running. I suddenly knew who it was; it was Josh. Standing there with his arms out stretched to me. I ran and he kept moving away from me. I became frustrated and stumbled in the grass. I hit my knees on the hard earth and it didn’t faze me. I had to get to him, I had to. I pushed myself up and he was gone. I spun in a circle and nothing. He had disappeared from my sight. I took a breath and it sounded loud in my ears. A humming started to well up. I covered my ears and closed my eyes, as the ringing made my head hurt. Suddenly it stopped, and I removed my hands slowly and opened my eyes.
I stared at Theo, Sam, and Kai standing by a fire in the woods. I looked up at the trees and recognized the place. It was Red Woods. The woods I had been to a thousand times. A large fire burned in front of them, and they were all dressed in black leather. I started to walk towards them and tilted my head. I called out to them and they ignored me. More like I wasn’t there, so they couldn’t hear me. I ran up next to Sam and saw that she was crying. Theo placed his arm around her, and she leaned into him and started to sob. I shook my head and looked at the fire. A large table-like structure engulfed in flame. A body laid on the table with white leather placed over it.
I stared at it and it hit me, as I saw myself walking up to the flame and throwing flowers into it. My double was dressed in black with a hat, with netting covering her face. The other me turned, and Kai hugged her as she collapsed into his arms. Theo and Sam ran to them and helped lower her to the ground. I stared back at the fire and started to panic. Am I watching Josh burn? Am I watching a burial of my soul mate?
I shook my head and fell to my knees as I looked down at my hands. I had blood all over them, like a reminder of my role in his demise. If he had never come to me, if I had never entered his life… we would not be there. He would be alive, sitting in his messy house with dead grass outside his window, with no worry of me. I cried out and stared at the sky, everything blurred. I heard a voice echo in my ears.
“Rue.”
“Rue Volley, wake up.”
I blinked a few times and sat straight up, throwing my hand on my chest and taking a deep breath. My lungs ached as if I was taking the first breath at birth. I leaned forward on the bed and cried out.
Josh scrambled to me on the bed and placed his hand on my back. He rubbed it back and forth slowly, and I felt my heart start to slow down. I took a couple more breaths and he touched my hair.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
I looked up at him and he stared into my swirling blue eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed like a baby. He leaned against me and held me close to him as I let it all leave me. I didn’t say a word. What could I say? Oh, by the way… I was just at your funeral? Lame. I slowed my crying, and he placed his hands on both sides of my face as I backed away from him just a little.
“Where were you?” he asked me.
I shook my head and leaned back, resting my back on the headboard. I looked around the room at the familiar sight of the ‘whore house décor’ and knew that I was back at the carnival. I looked at him and shook my head, as I rubbed my hand over my hair and moved it all out of my face.
“Dreaming… just dreaming,” I said.
Josh tilted his head and bit his lip.
“Okay,” he said.
I smiled at him and scooted up to him. I touched his lips with my fingers and then I leaned forward to kiss him. He leaned back and “Ahhh’d” as he stood up and stepped back from the bed. I dropped my hand and looked at him.
“What?” I asked him.
He pointed his finger at me and shook it.
“You test me; I said after,” he said, as he grinned that wicked grin.
I smiled and leaned back on the bed and sighed.
“I wasn’t going to try to hump you, just a kiss,” I said.
He shook his head, “We don’t just kiss; you know that. It’s all…” He grabbed the air and then looked at me and smiled. “You know,” he added.
I laughed and pushed myself up and slid off the side of the bed.
“Okay then, I won’t touch you at all,” I said to him.
“Good… Yea, let’s try that,” Josh said.
I stood up and looked down at the silk nightgown I had on. It was pretty racy.
I smiled and looked up at him.
“This is hot,” I said to him.
He nodded and stared at me.
“I mean… it is hot in here; I am sweating,” I added.
He shook his head and relaxed his arms at his sides.
“Yea, it is,” he said.
I stepped out around the bed and touching it, as I walked towards him slowly.
“I need a bath,” I said, a little quieter.
He looked down at my nightgown and then up to my face.
I touched my mouth and he stepped back.
“What are you doing?” he asked me.
I grinned and touched the bottom of my nightgown and clinched it in my fist.
“Nothing,” I said as I stared at him.
“Yea… yea you are. You are like looking at me all weird,” Josh said.
“Really...? I didn’t know,” I said to him.
“Oh shit,” Josh said, as I stepped towards him and stopped about two feet from him.
“Oh shit, what?” I asked him.
Josh tilted his head at me.
“You seem different,” he said.
I smiled and looked at him as I rubbed my arm.
“I am and not, all at the same time,” I said to him.
He grinned and took a step back from me. I took a breath as the color started to swirl on my arm under my fingertips. Josh took a breath and looked at his arm as it started to swirl in black.
“Don’t do that; don’t touch yourself,” Josh said.
“Why?” I asked him, as I touched my neck and he grabbed his and smiled.
“You know why. I can feel everything you do,” he said as he grinned.
“Well, maybe this is good… We don’t have to do… you know; we can just feel each other,” I said to him.
He grinned and looked at me.
“You drive me crazy, I swear to god.”
I smiled and touched my shoulder. I pressed my fingernails into it and a little blood welled up on the surface of my skin.
“Ahhh,” Josh said, as he touched his shoulder and looked at me.
“Hurt?” I asked him.
I placed my fingers in my mouth and let the blood swirl on my tongue.
Josh took a breath and shook his head at me.
“It takes a lot to hurt me,” he said, as he showed his canine teeth, and I grinned.
“We’ll see,” I whispered.
I placed my wrist to my lips and then I bit into my wrist and the blood flowed over it, dripping on the ground. Josh stumbled and looked down at his wrist as the black color swirled on it and he rolled his eyes in his head and let his head drop back.
“Oh god,” he said as he tried to stand his ground.
My eyes swirled as I drank my blood. It was warm in my mouth, flowing down my throat slowly. I took my lips from it as I took a breath and ran my tongue over the self-inflicted bite. Josh stood there with his fists clinched.
“Where is everyone?” I asked him.
“Sam and Kai are in Calvary making sure the protection spells are back in place… You saved the majority of the people there, Rue… And Theo and Lily are working on ceremonial stuff. I don’t know where Jonah is, probably hunting,” he said,
as he swayed.
I swallowed and wiped some blood from my lip and place it on my tongue. He watched me like I was the only thing that existed. I grinned and felt the blood on my chin. I really caused some damage to my wrist. The blood was still dripping from it. I looked at him and shook my head.
“Your turn,” I whispered to him.
He grinned, that wicked grin that I love from him. The one that told me that I am was trouble, and I so wanted to be. I really did. He pulled his blade and smiled as he lifted it in front of him. He held his arm out and raised his eyebrows to me. I smiled and raised mine.
“Yea?” I said to him.
He sliced it across his arm quickly and I felt it, like a beautiful release. I sucked my breath in and touched my heart. He lifted his arm to his mouth and placed his mouth over it. He took a large drink from it and my knees shook. I held it together though. Didn’t want to give him the impression that he can shake me, even though he had, and this was step one. I am in trouble.
My breath was staggered as I tried to calm my heart down. I could feel the blood enter me, like a warm drink… in the middle of winter. It reached my stomach and it twisted and turned. My eyes became glossy and I leaned forward only to hear him make a small laugh under his breath, as he drank from his arm. I shook my head at him and straightened up, staring him down.
“Is that all you got?” I asked him, just asking for it.
He took his mouth from his arm and tilted his head.
“Really?” he said.
I smiled and tried to not sway.
He looked down and saw that my legs were weak and he grinned.
“I thought I would start out slow, but no… you have no patience. So now this is going to happen,” he said.
I gritted my teeth, expecting a bright flash to hit me and everything to go white as I cried out… feeling the ‘you know’ go all through me. He smiled and lowered to the ground on his knees. He grinned, showing his teeth, and looked up at me. I stood there looking all proud. Like he couldn’t make me crazy.
“You should get on your knees,” he whispered to me.
I shook my head and looked at him.
“I am fine,” I said to him.
He smiled and placed his hands over his knees.
Small sparks started to come from his fingertips and he glanced at me.
“One last warning, to sit,” he said.
I gritted my teeth and stood my ground.
He placed his hands close to his knees and the sparks touched his leather. I felt it too. I “mmm’d” really quick, with my lips pressed together, and he looked at me again. He slowly brought it up both of his legs and I felt it moving over my skin. I reached down and touched my legs and blue sparks came from my fingertips. Josh sucked in his breath and looked at me.
“Don’t do that; it is my turn right now,” he said.
I continued to touch my legs and slowly move my hands up them. Josh dropped his hands to his sides and moaned. I did too. I think at the same moment we finally made the decision to touch each other because I dropped and he lunged forward at the same time. He grabbed the back my head and wrapped his other arm around my waist. I sat on top of him and kissed him on the mouth, like I had never been kissed by him before.
I could feel his heart beating in my chest and his breath in my lungs. He touched my face with his fingertips, so soft it sent chills through my body. I sighed, as my head fell back, and he kissed my neck. He opened his mouth and let his teeth graze my skin, down the front of my neck. It caused my legs to pull in and I could feel him under me, vibrating. I leaned back and he kept kissing down my neck until he got to the top of my chest, and then he bit me. I felt his teeth enter my skin; it didn’t hurt… not at all. In fact, it caused me to cry out in a completely new way. My heart skipped a beat and I leaned up quickly and looked at his face. He looked soft, and loving. No sarcasm, no intention. We didn’t have to say a word to each other. I knew what he needed, as he knew what I did.
He stood up and held me. My legs wrapped around his waist and kissed me, as he walked us to the bed. He laid me down and stood over me, undoing the straps on his chest, his white leather that I loved so much on him. He slowed down and grinned at me as I grabbed the bottom of my nightgown, and he shook his head at me. He leaned down and touched my hand, and then stood back up and took off his shirt. He hissed as he stretched his arms, and I remembered his injury. I remembered the blow that Caine had delivered to him. How Josh had turned to take it all, protecting me.
I sighed and he held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up and leaned down to me. He placed his hands on the sides of my waist and leaned forward, gently kissing my stomach… it shook from the heat of his breath through my gown. I reached down and touched his chin. He looked up at me with his perfect face.
I smiled and slowly stood up as he grabbed the bottom of my nightgown and lifted it over my head. I raised my arms and felt it soft against my skin. He stood before me and I looked at his chest. I started to unwrap the white binding that Theo had wrapped him up in. He breathed slowly as I tried to be careful; I didn’t want to hurt him. I felt a stinging in my back as I pulled the final wrap from him and he let his breath out slowly. I looked into his face and grinned at him.
“I am so sorry that you are hurting,” I whispered to him.
“Nothing compared to how I felt when I could not get to you,” he replied.
I looked up at him and tilted my head.
“I know that you tried,” I said to him
He closed his eyes as if he was remembering the entire thing.
I stood up and placed my hands on his face.
“I believe that you fought as hard as you could to get to me, as I would have done for you,” I said to him.
He stepped back from me and looked at my body.
“You are amazing in every way,” he whispered to me.
I took a breath and he stepped up to me, placing his arm around my waist, and laid me back on the bed. He rested on top of me and smiled at me.
“Are you sure?” he asked me.
I took a breath and touched his lips.
“I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life,” I whispered to him.
He smiled and kissed me gently on the mouth.
He touched my face and reached down between us. I sucked my breath in and he stopped.
“Are we still okay?” he asked me.
I nodded as my heart thudded in my chest. I was scared and not, all at the same time. I had faced death, as I stared into the face of it right then. I didn’t want to think that he was going to leave me… I can’t. I needed him; I needed him so badly. I stared at his face and waited. I knew this isn’t supposed to be the most pleasant thing at first and…
“AHHHH!” I screamed out as he pressed against me.
I dug my fingernails into his back and he cried out.
I released him, remembering that he has awful things going on back there.
“OMG… OMG… OMG…” I said, as I closed my eyes and tried to breath.
“Rue,” he whispered.
I looked at him and bit my lip.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I tilted my head at him.
“Ummm, I thought that, uh, ya know… you…”
He grinned.
“Barely… We are not there yet,” he said to me.
“Okay… okay…” I said, as I nodded.
“Yea?” he said.
I bit into my lip until it bled. He looked at me and smiled.
He reached up and touched my lip and placed the blood in his mouth.
“Rue… I am going to bite you; you bite me… It will change everything, make it easier for you… okay?” he asked me.
I nodded. I mean… he knows, I don’t. If biting was the key, then let’s do it.
I nodded and he lifted me up on his lap and held me there.
“You bite my shoulder, okay?” he said.
I looked at his shoulder and
my stomach ached. The thought of drinking him was overwhelming at this point. I nodded and he raised my wrist to his mouth and looked at me.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you more than you will ever…” I tried to say.
He bit into my wrist and I bit into his shoulder. My teeth broke through his skin and he pulled me down on him quickly. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I felt the blood flow down my throat, warm and filling. He started to move with me on him, and I took my mouth from his shoulder and held onto him crying out as I did. He moved as I did… Everything I felt, so did he.
“I feel everything; I feel all of you inside of me.” I whispered to him as I fought to breathe.
Josh shook his head yes as he moaned again and I gyrated my hips slightly causing him to squirm somewhat which would have hit me as funny, if I could actually think at all.
The truth was he was larger than I ever imagined, I mean as I had thought in dreams and as we moved quicker and quicker all of the weight of fear and doubt started to leave me and left only us, only this moment and the incredible vibrations causing me to tremble uncontrollably.
He noticed of course, as he does every single thing that I do and he reacted to me as I guess I would expect him to. He sat up and placed his hand to my breast and moved it down my body slowly as I leaned back with blurred vision.
He slowly moved upward, lifting me and then as he lowered me he grabbed my side, held me stationary and started to move up and down. I leaned forward with my mouth open at his, and felt his quick breathing on my face. With each thrust I took a breath as he did and soon it was in unison and accompanied by moans that made me want him more… want to freeze the moment forever, as if this was heaven to me and perhaps it really was. I jerked my hips forward and he growled, which was more than I needed to send me over the edge but I welcomed it and kissed his warm and swollen lips, searching for his tongue and he grabbed the back of my head with one hand and jerked me forward, thrusting deeper into me. I cried out and pulled my lips from his.