by Rue Volley
I reached out and something amazing happened. A white light, like a branch, shot out of my hand, and the blade I had cast aside flew through the air and into my hand. I went down to one knee and brought it up, just as his blade came down on me. I gritted my teeth and pushed up, knocking him off of me. I rose up, with the blade vibrating in my hand, and smiled at him.
“I think I am winning,” I said.
Josh stood there and grinned.
I watched him roll the blade in front of him, and the color started to flash from him.
“Winning is a state of mind.” He said.
“Well, I stated it and meant it.”
“You know what I mean.”
I tilted my head and glanced at my blade as it called out to me. I pulled it up to my face and dropped it when I saw my reflection in it. My face looked pale and angry. I stood there and caught my breath. I looked like a stranger, my face…but not to me. I looked at Josh and held my hand up to him.
“What the fudge was that?” I asked him.
“What was what?” he asked, as he tilted the blade in his hand.
I looked at him and shook my head.
“I just saw myself in the blade, and it looked like a stranger,” I said to him.
“That was your spirit, in the blade,” he said.
“Oh… oh okay, yea… that explains everything,” I said, as I nodded to him.
“You are a protector, Rue… Your spirit is a warrior, and she is not all girlie,” he said.
“Girlie? What the hell, Josh?” I said.
He lowered his blade and smiled at me.
“You talk too much; you really do.”
I dropped the blade, and it ‘dinged’ on the ground with the impact.
I snorted, as I laughed, and placed my hands on my hips.
“You’re the one all writing a sad song,” I said to him.
He laughed and looked up at the sky again.
“Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?” he asked the clouds.
I looked up and then back at him.
“What did I do?” I asked him.
He looked at the blade that I had dropped again, and then into my eyes.
“I have never met anyone who infuriated me more than you,” he said.
“Well, you piss me off too.”
He placed the blade on his back and took a step towards me.
“I find myself bound to you,” he said.
“Oh…sorry,” I said.
“Pick up the blade,” he said.
I looked at it, and then I turned and started to walk away from him.
“Rue!” he yelled behind me.
“Just stab me already!” I yelled back.
Josh shook his head and snatched up his blade and started to follow me.
“I am only trying to prepare you for what is coming,” He said.
I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
This is not foreplay; this is a monumental tease.
“I am prepared as I am going to be,” I said.
He flashed in front of me, and I stopped. He stood there staring at me like I was the only thing he could see, and maybe I was. I pointed at him and squinted my eyes.
“You need to be on point, and let me fumble my way through,” I said.
“Not good enough,” he said.
“You know what...? I am over this emo crap from you; I miss the dick,” I said.
“Do you?” he asked me.
I titled my head and stared at him.
“Yea, I do… Have you seen Josh, cause I want to see him,” I said.
“I am the same.”
“No… no, you are not. Something is broken in you, and I don’t know how to fix it,” I said.
He sighed and started to walk away from me…that is new.
I jogged up next to him and tried to see his face.
“Are you pissed?” I asked him.
“No.”
“Okay then… you wanna talk?” I asked.
“No.”
“You wanna make out?” I asked him.
He stopped and looked at me, with that grin.
“You better stop,” he said.
“Or what?” I asked, as I smiled back at him.
He grabbed my arms and stared me down.
“Do you know what you are worth?” he asked me.
I blinked and looked at his mouth, as he said the words.
“I ahh… I don’t ummm… What the hell does that mean?” I asked him.
“You are the sun and moon, the ocean tide. The heart, that beats life’s blood through her veins,” he whispered.
“Is that from some poem?” I asked him.
He kept his eyes on me, staring at me… really into me. I felt the vibration coming from his hands and tried to swallow, but my throat closed up a little… like I was suddenly feeling a panic coming on.
“You cannot die. You will be 21 in less than a month, and I will see you through to the end,” he said.
“I have every intention of living,” I said.
“Do you?” he asked me.
I stood there considering his question. I really did. I mean, me and death have crossed each other a few times, and I always seemed to skate right out of it, but maybe he has a point. Maybe I was reckless, maybe I didn’t see myself as anything more than a minimal bump in the road of time.
“I don’t want to do this,” I said.
He gripped my arms tighter, and I glanced at him.
“Well, somebody has to make you see,” he said.
“Oh, and of course it is you. Listen,” I squirmed from his grip and stepped back from him. “I don’t sit around and worry about death. I am pissed at death! I really am. That asshole took my family and ripped it apart. I will never have dinner with my parents again, or a holiday… I don’t get the luxury of having a stupid conversation or an argument with my Mom or Dad… and I can thank death for that,” I said, as I felt my hands trembling and I pressed them together to try to stop it.
“Death is not the end, Rue.”
“Oh really? Well, how about you drop that nugget of knowledge on me then...? Or the world?” I yelled out.
“I do not control death, no one does,” he said.
“The creator does… and that dick is just kickin’ back and drinking,” I said.
“The creator is life and life everlasting,” he said.
“Oh god,” I said, as I threw my hands up in the air.
“What?” he asked me.
I turned and looked at him.
“You sound like some bible thumper. Listen, I have no love for the creator!” I screamed out.
He stood there and sighed, as he looked down at his hands.
“Faith and hope are the reason that we exist, Rue. I am not a bible thumper, and you know that. I have been on this earth for longer than I would care to mention, and over the centuries, I have watched humans come and go. The one thing that I envy is their undying faith and hope that they will be together forever,” he said.
“That is a fucking lie,” I said, as I turned and started to walk.
“Rue,” he said.
I kept walking.
How dare he lecture me?
I mean, he is immortal, and I am not yet what he is…maybe…
“Rue,” he said, as I stopped and looked up at him.
The tears had already started with me, and they streaked down my cheeks, warm and comforting.
“This is why you cannot control your power; you do not see what you are and how important your role is,” he said.
“I don’t want live forever,” I said.
He let me pass with those five little words. Maybe he can relate, or maybe he could have related to me at some point along the way in his foreverness. Not like that is a word…“foreverness”…but who cares. I will use whatever word seems to fit the bill.
I walked and looked at my hands, as they started to pulsate with light, and the tears kept flowing… like I was built for sadness. I know in my he
art that he was right. I know that I value myself less than I should, and I totally refuse to accept my role in the bigger picture. I took a breath and stopped. I looked back, and he was walking behind me… not saying anything. I tilted my head and then stood there, wanting to just crack a joke… but nothing is funny.
“I understand why you feel the need to save me. I do, Josh, but did you ever stop to think that maybe I don’t want to be saved?” I said.
He flashed to me and grabbed my hand.
He started to walk, pulling me along with him.
I pulled on his hand at first, but my fingers were going numb.
“Josh, what the hell?” I asked, as he dragged me along behind him.
I stumbled over some branches, and he simply jerked me up. I looked up at him, but he didn’t turn or comment and I feared that I might have finally pissed him off to the point of no return.
We stumbled through the forest. Yes even he stumbled… which I have never seen him do, not once. I swallowed hard, and then he stopped and jerked me in front of him. I looked out over the water and down. We stood on the edge of the cliff that I had taken a dive off of when we had buried Johnathan. He held me there, and I tried to slow my breathing down, but my chest rose and fell like the tide.
He leaned into my ear.
“Just do it,” he whispered to me.
I tried to back up from the edge, but he held me there.
“Josh… don’t,” I said.
“You said that you don’t fear death… Well, here she is in all her glory… so jump, Rue,” he said.
I pushed back on him, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“We will go together,” he said.
“Listen, Romeo… this Juliet is not down with this,” I said.
He spun me around to him, and I looked at his face.
He looked tired, like someone had beaten him down.
This is not Josh, not the one that I know.
“Do you know how many times I have died?” he asked me.
I shook my head at him.
“A thousand,” he said.
“No way,” I said.
He stared at me with no expression on his face…which is a bad sign.
“Yes, I have. A thousand times I have died… everyway unimaginable, and death spits me back up, to crawl around on this barren planet. I have been stabbed, suffocated, drowned, burned, murdered, and suicide,” he said, as he held his wrists up to me, and I looked at the long shimmering marks on his arms.
I had never noticed them before.
“Josh,” I whispered.
“So do not talk to me about death and how it has cheated you. I have watched many die; some at the hands of others and some by their own will. I have been able to save some… but only temporarily, for death has called them all home… all but me. It won’t have me, spits me out like bad food,” he said.
“I ahhh… I never thought about you and the living forever thingy,” I said.
He laughed and looked out over the water.
“You have pain in your heart. I know… I can feel it. It is a sadness that is deep and winding. Just imagine that pain a hundred times over and knowing that she will never let you sleep or be with the ones that you love,” he said.
“I ahhhh… ummm,” I said.
I guess that was about the stupidest thing I could have said, but I am speechless.
I had no idea what to say here.
“Rue… if death wants you, I cannot stop it, but I will fight till my last breath and hopefully if you go…it will be by my side,” he said.
I sucked in my breath and felt him, almost for the first time.
I knew that he loved me.
I knew he loved me more than he has ever loved anything in his life.
“Josh… I love you,” I said.
He placed his hand on my face, and the corner of his mouth pulled up. He leaned his head against mine, and we stayed there, holding each other… knowing that we were our own enemies, not this world… or demons, or even death itself. It is us, and our need to be with one another. It blinds us to everything else and makes us weak and strong at the same time. A place that is hard to live in. A place that makes every day overwhelming and unbearable.
He leaned back and smiled at me.
“Just do me a favor and let me know when you want to go, because I can’t stay here without you… I can’t,” he whispered.
I placed my hand on his face, and he closed his eyes. I felt so bad for bringing him down to my level, not that I was all suicidal, but I had dragged him along with me, as I started to prepare myself for the inevitable.
My end and his… for we are one in the same.
“You wanna do it?” he asked me.
I laughed so hard, as I wiped the tears from my face, and he held me, staring at me with that wicked grin on his face.
“This demon is gonna kill us, right?” I asked him.
“Yea,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, knowing that he would never lie, not to me.
“Take your pants off,” I said.
He grinned, and I pulled my shirt off over my head.
“I like it when you talk dirty.”
“Shut up and lay down,” I said.
He lay down in the grass, and I peeked back over the water and spotted the shadow of ‘grace’. I closed my eyes and felt his hand on my leg. I looked down at him and grinned.
“Maybe we will be lucky and death will put us in a boat,” I said.
He smiled and grabbed my hand, pulling me down to him.
I fell on my knees in front of him, and he placed his hand on my face.
“I would love that, but after all that I have done… I think that I will be in the desert, with no water in sight,” he said.
“That sucks.”
He smiled and pushed my hair over my ear.
“This may be the last time that I ever get to do this, so I apologize now,” he said.
My eyes got wide, as he lunged on me, and immediately my whole body vibrated.
“Holy crap,” I said.
He grinned, as he leaned down and bit my neck. The blood ran down the back of my neck and dripped onto the grass. He moaned at my skin, and I could feel him. His whole body vibrated, like a scared little boy, doing it for the first time. He pulled his blade and sliced it across his wrist. He hissed and looked at me. I grinned and watched the blood flow over his wrist and pool on the other side.
“I want you to have me, take my blood, Rue… please,” he whispered.
He honestly did not have to ask me to do it. I actually felt like I was practicing the best self-control by not attacking his wrist already. I placed my mouth to his wrist and closed my eyes as his sweet blood filled my mouth, and then he grabbed my wrist and sliced it too. He placed his mouth gently over the cut he had given me, and I could feel his tongue, licking at the wound. I arched my back, keeping his wrist in my mouth. Then he placed his hand in between us, and I felt it. A warm and vibrating feeling come over me. I leaned back, and he looked into my eyes, his mouth stained with my blood.
“Shhhh,” he said, as I opened my mouth and tried to cry out, but nothing would come.
My body ached, and he moved on top of me. He placed his hand on the side of my face, and then he moved it around to the back of my neck and squeezed it, as his body trembled on top of me. My head fell back, and my eyes rolled in my head, as everything slowly faded away from me. No worry, no pain, no regret… just Josh and I, alone here as one. Breathing as one, moving as one.
He leaned up and with one motion; the world tilted for me and started to rotate backwards. My mind flashed with his face, his mouth… his body. He cried out and so did I. The sheer volume of it making all the birds in the forest leave their resting places and swirl above us. My eyes were glossy, and I watched them swoop, as their color trailed across the sky. The sun was starting to set, and I hoped that it wasn’t the last one that I would see on this earth… because suddenly I wanted to live forever, in t
his moment, with him.
Live for him and finally… for me.
Chapter 18
Boobie Land
Caine stood at his window and sighed, as he rubbed his hands. The change he had been waiting for… his final transformation into a Lord had not come. He looked back out the window and watched all the people scurrying around, far below. He had decided to stay in the tower, close to the last known location of the sacred tree. He thought that maybe by keeping himself close to the black water; he would help along the genetic shifting that his body was supposed to do.
He looked down at his hands and noticed that his skin looked dry and cracked, like that of a human who had done too much manual labor. He heard a tap on the door and turned to see who had the nerve to bother him. A guard peeked in and closed the door quickly.
“What is it?” Caine asked, as he stepped away from the window, prepared for news.
He still awaited word of Sia and the party she had taken out on a recon to find and kill Joshua Barrington. The door cracked back open, and Caine waved his hand. The handle jerked out of the guard’s hand, and he stood there, looking nervous.
“Speak or become dinner,” Caine said.
The guard swallowed hard and then looked up at Caine.
“The council wishes for you to join them.”
Caine muttered something to himself and looked at the guard, trying to swallow his anger.
“And for what do they call upon me?” he asked.
“I… I was not told, my Lord,” he said.
“Tell them I will be along shortly” he said.
The guard nodded to him and turned, suddenly running away down the hallway.
Caine grinned and found it humorous that all of Valon found him to be frightening now. No reason that they would not. Lords are not usually easily bothered and are quick-tempered. All Lords before Caine had ruled with a heavy hand, and he was sure that the rumors of him had caused more trauma amongst the people here than any before him. Now that Sophia was no longer whispering into the ear of the protectors who called Valon home, there seemed to be a restlessness taking hold. He would have to stop this, before it caused Valon to become weak.
He looked at his hands again and then clinched his fists. If anyone knew that he had not shifted into his Lordship, there would mass panic, and he was sure that the thought would well up again, that he had indeed killed his mother. He smiled and looked up at the door.