by Rue Volley
“Oh… well, memory or not it seems that you performed well.”
Josh sighed and looked down the hallway, watching Lily disappear around the corner. He looked at Jonah and tried to grin.
“Okay.” Josh said, still confused and slightly dizzy.
“Perhaps you should find some clothing.” Jonah whispered as he leaned forward.
Josh looked down and grinned.
“Yeah… good idea.” He said.
“Okay then… come down when you are ready, breakfast will be waiting.” Jonah said.
Josh watched him walk away and then he stood there, in shock to a certain degree. He remembered coming to visit, alone… Jonah and Lily had asked him to travel to Europe, he remembered drinking, he remembered dancing and then nothing… in fact the memories that he did have seemed weird and fake to a certain degree. He took a breath and decided that he had to take a bath. Maybe hot water would clear his already foggy head. He knew that drinking was not his smartest move and yet he had… more than needed. Perhaps this is what humans called a hangover… who knew.
Josh stepped into the room and looked around. Small details looked familiar and yet he felt as if something was out of place, something important. Not unlike when you forget the all-important note that you have written to yourself to remind yourself of things to do. He walked towards the bathroom and when he swung the doors open he suddenly had a pain well up in his head. The room was full of light, brighter than the rest of the house. He looked up and narrowed his eyes as he looked at the skylight. The clouds floated over slowly and his head continued to fog. Something was wrong, something he cannot place his finger on, and it felt as if it may be more than a night of drinking followed by a memory lapse with Lily.
He looked down at his hands and then at the tub that sat in the middle of the room and he shook his head, hoping that the fog would simply lift away.
He started to run the water and he thought he heard a voice. He looked behind him and no one, once again solidifying that he must part with wine for good. He waved his hand in the water and the steam started to rise slowly. He stripped and slipped into the warmth, relaxing although his muscles ached and his head still felt as if he may have fallen at some point. Maybe that is what had happened. Maybe he stumbled at some point and hit his head, not being sober he would not have healed it, or even been in the state of mind to ask. Perhaps…
He reached behind his head and felt a knot. He hissed as his fingers pressed against it… there it was, the lump that he thought might be present. He had fallen, hit his head and therefore that may explain why he had no memory… not good. He closed his eyes and let the energy enter him, the water swirled and his hand glowed white at the back of his head. He sighed as he felt the ache lift, but the fog still remained. He pulled his hand down and lay there, hoping that the hot water would relax him, but it didn’t. He felt restless, like he had to move but didn’t know where he had to go.
“God damn it.” Josh muttered as he splashed water on his face and then he turned and splashed water over the edge of the tub when he heard a familiar voice come from behind him. He wiped his eyes and Lily stood there, fully dressed… looking pretty as ever. She grinned and turned her face as Josh started to stand up.
“Lily… I ah.” Josh started to say.
Lily grinned and grabbed a towel, throwing it at him. He caught it and wrapped it around himself as he stepped out of the tub and onto the stone floor.
“Nothing happened.” She said.
Josh stumbled as he stepped out of the tub and looked up at her.
“What?”
“Yes… nothing happened; we simply slept in the same bed.” She said.
“Oh… I…”
Lily held up her hand and grinned, looking at him.
“No need… you drank and I helped you to the room when I found you at the foot of the stairs. That reminds me… are you hurt?” she asked.
Josh touched the back of his head and grinned at her.
“No… no, I am fine.” He said.
“Good… I will tell you that you mumble.”
“What?”
“A mumbler… you are, in your sleep.” She said as she took a step towards him.
“Oh… I didn’t know.” He said.
“Oh come now! As many girls that you have no doubt lured to your bed… and none spoke of your mumbling?” she asked him.
“Well… umm, there wasn’t any sleeping to speak of.” He said.
She laughed and stared at his face.
“Oh of course not… why would I think that the world’s most famous bachelor would sleep?” she asked him.
“Sorry… I just don’t even remember going to the room.”
“Well… to save you some teasing, I have Jonah believing that we did whatever it is that you usually do in most cases, so no worry there.”
Josh looked at her and half grinned.
“I would prefer that you tell him that nothing happened.”
“You most certainly did hit your head pretty hard Joshua Barrington, since when do you not protect your reputation?”
Josh sighed. “I guess since now.” He said.
“Huh… okay then, if you wish to tell him, do… I on the other hand would prefer to just leave it… I would assume that he is happy, since he knows how I feel about you.” Lily said as she waved her hand.
Lily turned and started to walk towards the door.
“Lily?” Josh asked.
“Yes.” She said as she turned and the sunlight lit up her blonde hair.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
Lily laughed. “Oh please, old crushes are just that… old and in the past… I would consider you a friend and that you shall remain.”
“Oh… okay.” Josh said as he felt a sense of relief.
“Get ready… breakfast is waiting and then we sight-see.” Lily said.
Josh smiled and she walked out, closing the door behind her.
Josh looked up at the skylight and took a breath. He did not love Lily, not in that way he knew… so who did he love? Who made him feel as if a hole had bored its way into his heart? He could only hope to find out or hope that it would fade.
Chapter 13
The Evil That I Am
Dreams. What a funny thing to navigate. It is within dreams that we sometimes find who we are and visit those we have lost and loved. I had spent many moments in those, dreams… it was what humans called them. As a protector we called it memory. Memory is a treacherous place for us to get caught it. Memory can suck you in and make you feel as if it is reality. I had battled with this the majority of my life… memory that is. The memory of my parents, the memory of my childhood… the memory of me. Who I really was. The protector of heaven and earth that I had been entrusted with. It was memory that I had to slay, the demon that set on my chest and would not allow me to move forward. Memory that held me back from love and happiness, memory that would love to trap me forever, and yet I had won that battle… or so I’d thought.
I stirred, turning in the bed and narrowing my eyes as the brightness of the sun filled the room. I took a breath and my throat felt scratchy, like I had swallowed something that cut me all the way down my throat. I pushed up on one arm and sat there, rubbing my head and yawning. I feel as if I had slept, but my body was sore. We did not get sick, so the soreness is a mystery. I blinked my eyes and looked around the room. It was decorated sparsely, but with good taste. The furniture was large, old wood… filling the room with a smell of age, but in a good way. Not unlike an old library. Something that I truly loved anyway. I focused in on the large dresser, that sat across from the bed and saw pictures on it, many really. I kind of remembered the faces, this being the first moments after waking; I was still remembering where I was and what I was doing there. I slipped my legs off of the bed and let my feet touch the floor… it was cold, but coldness didn’t affect me in anyway. I run cold and I have forever and anything cold almost feels warm to me.
I stood up
and felt a slight pain in my legs, cramping like I had stretched every muscle in them. What the hell did I do to myself this time? I knew I was clumsy, but to injure me… well, it took a lot. Not like when I was little, I bruised constantly from bumps and falling. Mainly due to sleepwalking. I took a breath and stepped towards the dresser, leaning in to look at the pictures all clustered on the top of it. And there we were… Johnathan and I, arms around each other, smiling. Another picture of me and Johnathan, holding hands and laughing… picture after picture, of the two of us happy, as we had always been. I scratched my head and it all started to become clear.
Johnathan and I had travelled to London. We came because Brooke had passed away in a car accident… not unlike my parents had years before. Brooke had been close to Johnathan. Well, I should say that they had dated, when Johnathan and I were still figuring out exactly what we were. I never hated her; in fact I loved her, as a friend should. Brooke and I had grown up in the same town, as well as Johnathan. She and I had been friends, not the closest of friends, but friends just the same. I won’t not lie and say that when Johnathan decided to date her I was OK… well, I got a little upset, but I never said anything, although Johnathan probably knew. I mean he could feel me, as I can feel him. Anyway, Brooke and Johnathan were not together very long before Johnathan started to come around again. I knew it then as I do now that he came back to me because he could not live without me. That’s what happens with a mate, you cannot be without the other. Brooke knew what we were… we told her. I still laugh when I think about how she didn’t flinch. It was like she knew… and for a human, that was a big deal. We don’t just go around telling people what we are.
Anyway… I was an only child, so was Johnathan and maybe that is why we connect the way that we do. Oh, and it helps that we are both immortal. But we have no guidance really; I mean we kinda figured it out… when we went on that first date in Red Woods. We both felt each other then, our energy that is, the deep connection to the earth and all the creatures that live there.
I stood there as all these memories flooded my mind, as if they had been written in a book and I was recalling them. Then the door opened and I turned… and there he was… my love. My Johnathan.
“I see that we are finally up.” Johnathan said.
I smiled and looked down at my pajamas… truth was, Johnathan and I had never… umm, you know. Don’t get me wrong… I so wanted to, but we just hadn’t. I am okay with that…I am.
“Yeah… umm, my throat hurts and my legs ache… what the hell did I do this time?” I asked him.
He stepped towards me and stopped, looking past me and to the pictures on the dresser. I looked back at them and turned back to him and he was in my face. I took a breath and he leaned in.
“You are no good with wine.” He whispered.
I grinned. That is true.
“So… did I make a fool of myself or what?” I said.
Johnathan touched my face lightly and then backed away from me.
“You fell… as usual, in true Rue fashion.”
“Perfect.” I said.
“Well, no worries, I fixed you up.” He said.
“Thanks.” I said as I watched him walk to the bed and touch it.
I watched him for a moment and he took his hand from it and grinned at me.
“No nightmares… that is good.” he said as he rubbed his hand.
I looked at the bed and shook my head.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that…I mean the touchy, nosey thingy.” I said.
Johnathan smiled and shook his head at me.
“Just checking… I mean you can’t hate me for making sure that you didn’t have any crazy dreams while you slept… can you?” he asked me.
I fidgeted with my hands. The whole touching my bed and knowing what I dreamed of is a trick that Johnathan has known how to do forever… and I can’t say that it doesn’t make me feel kinda weird, because it does.
“No… no, of course not.” I said, totally lying.
“Okay then… why don’t you get dressed and we will wrap this trip up.” He said.
I looked at him and blinked.
“This is our last day here?” I asked him.
“Rue… I swear your memory is sad.” He said.
“Sorry.” I said as I looked down.
Johnathan came to me and leaned in. I knew he wanted to kiss me, but as he leaned in I turned my head and he kissed me on the cheek. I don’t know why I did it, but I did. He cleared his throat and stepped back from me.
“Okay then… umm. You get ready, I will make breakfast and then we go to Brooke’s parents’ house.” He said.
I looked at him and nodded. I mean I know why we are going. Johnathan had received a letter from her parents, telling him that Brooke had things that she wanted him to have. The fact that she actually had a will is funny considering her age, but so like her in the responsible way. Brooke always seemed much more grown up than even we are and we live forever.
Johnathan left the room and to tell you the truth I was relieved. I felt weird enough saying that I would come with him, but the fact that I don’t remember the last time we had kissed was even more bizarre. I really don’t remember… was that normal? Probably not… but I was not normal and neither was Johnathan. Never will be.
I mean how could we be? We are the only two protectors in the world. Alone and clinging to each other. I would hope that it will be love, maybe someday for me… like the love you read about in books. You would think that it had, but it hasn’t happened, not for me… not yet. I had hope though, as silly as that sounded.
I took a much-needed shower, and I listened to the pipes creak and strain as the water was delivered to me through the updated showerhead. I looked at the water, let it hit me in the face and my head started to hurt… like a headache I guess. I felt kind of sick too. So unlike me. Perhaps the whole trip was catching up to me, or perhaps this whole situation was finally sinking in. I mean, I think that Brooke was my only competition in the whole world when it came to Johnathan. He never had really been with anyone else. Funny how you want someone so badly when they have someone else… but when they don’t want the other person anymore, you don’t feel more love… you just kinda feel like you won. Trust me, I would never ever wish death on her, but I do recall wishing that she would disappear, leave him… and I guess that she had by moving so far away. But you can move, and not talk and still dream of what could be… maybe that is what I feared of her. The dream or better yet the possibility. But as I stood there in the shower, I didn’t feel anything, but sadness sinking in… not good for me, not good at all.
I stepped out and dried myself off, shaking off the paranoia and still felt nauseous. Maybe I needed to feed. I couldn’t remember the last time I had. Johnathan and I drink blood… I know, sounds gross… but it is a must do… not a want do kinda thingy. I am sure that we would both prefer to do it another way, but blood sustains us, fresh blood. I pulled my jeans up and buttoned them; looking at the bruise on my pelvic bone and hissed when I touched it. Damn, I must have fallen pretty hard… just perfect, and no memory of it. Thank god Johnathan doesn’t care how clumsy I am. I pulled my shirt on and saw other bruises, up my arms. He had to heal me right? Then why am I so bruised still? I shook it off and buttoned up my shirt. I sat down on the bed and pulled my tennis shoes on. I tied them and then I smelled it… the blood, and my stomach growled as usual. I sighed and walked to the door, pulling it open and walked down the hallway. I swear to god, the whole place seemed unfamiliar, but I knew I have been there… for at least a week. Johnathan had rented a house for us to stay in and I felt stupid for not recognizing it.
I walked down the stairs and into the entry way, I instinctively took a right and walked through a large living room, no T.V… just furniture, books and a fireplace. I walked through the next room and then spotted a swinging door that I knew had to be the entryway to the kitchen. I stepped in and Johnathan sat there, holding a girls hand. She looked pretty e
nough, I mean for a girl, brown long hair, fair skin… small as me. I looked at her and walked to the table. I stood there for a moment and Johnathan looked up at me and grinned. I tried to smile, but my head hurt and now that I am in the same room with what was surely our breakfast, my stomach ached too… not helping at all. The girl grinned at me and nodded. I sat down and looked at her as Johnathan placed her hand in mine and I touched her skin and then looked into her eyes.
“What is your name?” I asked her.
“Doesn’t matter.” Johnathan said as he stood up and walked to the counter.
I looked at him and narrowed my eyes. I looked back at her and tried to shake the hard look I just shot at Johnathan.
“What is it?” I asked her.
Johnathan sighed and kept his back to us.
The girl swallowed and looked into my eyes.
“Tiffany.” She said.
“Nice… my name is Rue and this is Johnathan.” I said.
Johnathan turned and crossed his arms on his chest.
“None of this is necessary.” He said.
“Shut up.” I said to him as I stared at the girl.
“Why do you want to die?” I asked her.
The girl relaxed a little but shifted in her seat.
“I am dying… I don’t want to, but I am. I would rather die now than go through what I know will happen.” She said.
I let her hand go and looked at Johnathan.
He shrugged his shoulders and stared at me. I hated this part… the feeding part of the equation. I looked at her and shook my head.
“You can leave.” I said.
Johnathan stepped up and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him kind of confused.
“Rue is not feeling well; I assure you I will fulfill my promise to you.” He said as he glanced at me.
“Fine then… you feed… I am going outside.” I said.
I started to walk and I made it halfway through the living room before Johnathan grabbed my arm and spun me around to look at him.