by Robin Roseau
“I’m fairly certain that isn’t going to happen,” Allium replied. “Foot.”
She helped me into the boots and then stood up. “Allium?”
“Hmm?”
“Did I overreact?”
“Well,” Allium said. “Do you believe you read the situation correctly?”
“I think subsequent events prove I did.”
“I agree with you. The Queen of Ressaline told you, in effect, that she doesn’t trust our food.”
“That’s not it,” I replied. “She told us she doesn’t trust my motives. I know I’m still young, and I make mistakes, but I think the last time I gave someone a reason to distrust my motives was when I was 12.” I felt my temper rising again. “And that’s another thing. I never should have done it. I should have talked to you first, and you would have calmed me down and pointed out Father’s envoy can’t submit herself like that. I feel manipulated, and the worst part is I don’t know if Gionna was part of it.”
I was just getting a fresh load of anger going and didn’t think I had really seen the far side of it. “You haven’t said if I’ve overreacted. Or, for that matter, if I’m overreacting now.” I didn’t wait for her to respond. “And that’s another thing! She had no right. No right! She had no right to do it that way. She had no right to make me feel what she made me feel. I told her not to do anything like that, so of course, she did it anyway. I feel violated, Allium. On top of stupid.”
“Come here,” Allium said. She opened her arms, and I moved to her, laying my head on her shoulder. She wrapped around me. “No, I do not think you overreacted. You’re right; I would have counseled you not to do it, and if the distrust continued, I would have suggested we depart. But at the same time, I don’t believe Lisdee is capable of trusting someone any other way.”
“We came as friends,” I said. “We don’t need this deal. It was a pet project for me because of events in Dennaholst, but we don’t need this. I already got improved prices for us. Why are we solving their problems for them?”
“Gionna is still your friend. Olivia is your friend, and Bee, and Dee.”
“But they live in Charth.”
“Gionna lives here.”
“Gionna doesn’t look malnourished.”
“We saw people on the streets who do.”
“I know.”
“Let me point something out: this is actually a big problem for them, Darfelsa. But here’s the thing. If we don’t solve it, they aren’t any worse off than they were. If we don’t solve it, it’s not Flarvorians who will continue to suffer.”
“You’re about to tell me this is practice.”
“I wasn’t going to use that word, but yes.”
“Maybe the test I’m facing is one of resolve. Maybe it’s not a good idea to tell the world I can be distrusted and violated, and come away from it smiling.”
“Well, you wouldn’t be telling the world. You’d be telling a very small number of people that…” She paused. “I’m not sure what you’d be telling them, and I’m not sure I want to tell you what to do, Princess.”
“That’s a first,” I muttered. I looked around. “Get me out of here, please.”
“Come on.” I let her take my arm. She led me to the door, where Sergeant Felist and Henra were waiting. I didn’t know how I felt about that, but as I didn’t actually know how to get where we needed to go, I was happy to let them guide us.
* * * *
We got some dinner. My roommates returned, and we found our room filling. With Allium sticking around, everyone else stopped in, too.
And then Gionna was there. “Could you walk with me?” she asked.
I almost declined, but I let Allium help me up. Gionna tried to take my arm, but I pulled away from her.
We took the same path from earlier. It was dusk, and I thought it would be dark soon, but I trusted Gionna wouldn't get us lost. She asked Sergeant Felist to give us a little privacy, so they hung back. “Since when do you need a guard here?”
“I wasn’t in the mood to argue with her,” I replied.
“Are you mad at me?”
“That’s not what we’re doing out here.”
“Well, it wasn’t why I stopped by.”
“I’m mad. Not at you. I have decided that, unless pressed further, I won’t make any further decisions for a day or two.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I know I’m not thinking clearly and realize I shouldn’t be making decisions.”
“What decisions aren’t you making?”
“Any decisions,” I said.
“Ah,” she said. “Those decisions.”
I turned away from her, looking up at the mountains. “I’m such an idiot. You’ve told me for years she’s cold.” I sighed, pushing my anger and shame down. I straightened. “What was it you wanted?”
“To be your friend, Darfelsa.”
I turned away, looking up. It had grown dark in just the few minutes we’d been outside, and I could see little. “We should go inside. I can barely see.”
Gionna stepped closer and took my arm. I let her, and we turned back towards the palace, reconnecting with Sergeant Felist and Henra. I decided not to make a scene with Gionna holding my arm, but before we reached the door, I stopped us then turned around, which pulled my arm from her without making it look like my goal. I spent a minute looking around, but I really couldn’t see anything. And then I turned to the doors.
Gionna wanted me to spend the evening with her, but I declined.
* * * *
In the morning, I attended breakfast, spoke briefly with Allium, and then returned to my quarters, bringing my household with me. Tess, Rosaniya, and Lyeneru attended the meetings. It was perhaps a half hour later that Gionna appeared at the door.
She stood in the doorway, looking at me. I set the book aside but didn’t stand. “Can I help you, Gionna?” She said nothing, not immediately. Eventually, I added, “I don’t think you came here to watch me read.”
“I came to lure you to the talks,” she said. “But now I’m trying to figure out what to say that might improve the situation.”
“My presence isn’t necessary. We have complete faith in Ambassador Cuprite. I was under the impression you did, as well.” I shrugged. “We showed you what we can offer, and we gave you an idea of pricing. I also provided a few ideas for returned trade. You’ll pursue this opportunity, or you won’t. But how you go about it isn’t really a Flarvorian concern. I’m not even sure why I should stay. We don't really need a new treaty; there’s nothing I need to ratify. It’s a simple business transaction. When I came, I thought it was more complicated than that, but from our side, it probably isn’t.”
I shrugged. “I believe you have problems to solve before you can take advantage of this opportunity, but your queen has indicated my involvement isn’t necessary. I believe she told me it’s not a Flarvorian concern.”
She sighed. “What is it you want, Darfelsa?”
I actually considered the question. “I guess I’d like to know that the friends of my friends weren’t developing preventable diseases. But the people who produce the prevention deserve to be paid for their efforts, and I do not believe it is my country’s responsibility to do that. What do you want, Gionna?”
“A hug.”
“I’m not personally in a hugging mood, but there are slaves everywhere. They probably would do what they’re told, if you stopped one.”
“Darfelsa.” I could hear the pain in just the one word.
“Are you trying to push me into making decisions, Gionna? What I said yesterday about decisions still applies.”
She glanced at everyone else. They had all frozen and were pointedly not looking at either of us, but we both knew they were listening to every word. “How much do they know?”
“The first half,” I said. “And they know the second half didn’t go well.”
“Do you want to speak openly in front of them?”
“I don�
��t really want to speak at all,” I replied.
“I’m trying to be a peacemaker, Darfelsa.”
“Does your mother even know you’re here?”
“Yes.”
I sighed. “Everyone out.”
They didn’t hesitate. Gionna held the door, and then she asked Mariya and Henra to move to the other side of the corridor. She closed the door and looked around. “I’ve never really thought about how small the palace is.”
“It’s large enough for the needs here.”
I was in the only chair in the room. Eventually she moved to sit on the corner of the bed. I adjusted the chair rather than crane my neck to look at her. “Mother was surprised you didn’t come.”
“Then she’s an idiot.”
“About some things, yes.”
“I shouldn’t have gone,” I said. “But I did. And she violated me for it. I presume she was putting me in my place because I wasn’t properly subservient to her.”
“She made you a truth slave.”
“And so I was ‘rewarded’ each time I told the truth. But did she believe I could have lied if she’d made me wear black instead?”
“Some people can.”
“Are you defending her?”
“No, I’m trying to explain her.”
“Do you think I could have lied, Gionna?”
“I never thought you were lying in the first place, but no, Darfelsa. I don’t.”
“Friends don’t treat each other that way,” I said. “And that’s not how diplomacy works, either. Allium was right about that.”
“In Mother’s world, that actually is how friends treat each other. How is it different than-”
“Consent. She violated me, Gionna.”
“And she’ll never understand that.”
“Yes, well, I’m not sure any of this matters.”
“Of course it matters.”
“No,” I said. “It doesn’t. I’m not going to give you the fruit. As I said, the producers deserve to be paid. I didn’t come here to give you fruit. I came here to help find a way you could buy it, and so that Allium could see the route. And yes, I was looking forward to seeing your home and meeting your mother. Your home is pretty. And now I’ve met your mother. Your mother isn’t interested in my ideas for policy changes that might make it easier to find solutions.”
“This is just like your last visit,” she said. “You’re ready to leave angry.”
“Are you suggesting I was out of line the last time, or that I’m being unreasonable now?”
“No. I’m suggesting that I love you, and this is tearing me apart.” I looked away. She waited a moment. “I’m fairly sure right now you just want to run home. I don’t blame you. And then it will be another two years before I’ll see you again, if not longer.”
“You could come to Barrish.”
“And yet, I’m fairly sure we both prefer Charth.”
“Are you saying you don’t like my home?”
“I’m suggesting you enjoyed your practice challenges.”
I turned back to her. “I have growing responsibilities, and it is unlikely they’re based inside Ressaline. If you come to Barrish, you also get to see Ahlianna.”
“We’re getting sidetracked,” she pointed out. “Are you avoiding my main point?” She paused. “Or maybe you blame me.”
“If I’m passing out blame, your mother’s name is first on the list; mine is second. You are third.”
“You did what you felt you needed to do, Darfelsa.”
“And if I’d talked to Allium first, she would have talked me out of acting rashly. We’ve made our proposal. Allium could talk to your engineers about the road. It’s not like we’re going to send our road crews to build it for you, and she’s free to offer some expertise before heading back to Charth.” I’d already forbidden her from offering to oversee any of it. “We could have spent a few days here, accepting a little hospitality, then left. I made a mistake.”
“You gave Mother what she needed.”
“Frankly, I no longer care about your mother,” I replied. “As long as she stays north of the border, I no longer care what she does or what she thinks.”
“I feel like that a lot, too, and I’d stay in Charth if I could.”
“I’m sorry you can’t,” I said. “But I think you could, if you wanted to. I think the difference is that you feel like that a lot, but not all the time.”
“Probably. You asked what I want. I feel like our friendship has been damaged, and I want that repaired. That’s first. Second: I’d like you to come to these talks.”
“Why?”
“Because you do have things to say that Mother needs to hear.”
“She can hear them from Allium.”
“And unless Allium does what you did yesterday, Mother won’t listen.”
“Then you can tell her.”
“I have. Olivia has. She isn’t listening. I don’t know that she’ll listen to you, either, but she might. Or she might not. It might be entirely wasted time, and we should spend this time with me giving you a tour of the immediate region. It’s quite beautiful.” She grinned. “Maybe we should have practice challenges.”
“Now that Shalendra is through her First, I don’t think we should do any of that without her, and she’s not ready for challenges.”
“So, if I can talk her into letting you dress in red?”
“Gionna, we both know it’s the older princess that interests you that way.”
“It’s just fun,” she replied. “Or maybe we should be partners for a group event. We can challenge Bee and Dee.”
“They’ll win.”
She grinned. “And your point?”
“Funny,” I replied.
“And yet, it was a real suggestion.”
I thought about it, got up, and walked to the bed. I looked down at her then crawled onto the bed and laid my head in her lap, careful not to fall off the edge. She turned slightly, adjusting her position to make it easier, and began stroking my hair. “This is better already.”
“I’ll go to the talks,” I said. “I’ll share my observations. I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone of anything. If you want to show me around the area after that, find one more person, because we’ll invite Shalendra.”
“Challenges?”
“It will be months before she can partake, and I think it’s a bad idea.”
“I thought you were half Ressaline by now.”
“Maybe a quarter, but she’s not.”
“If she’s not the right one, you could take your time.”
“Well, unless you come to Barrish to talk to mother, I don’t see any other prospects.”
She laughed then bent and kissed my ear. “Maybe I should,” she whispered. We both knew she was teasing, but it was teasing I didn’t mind.
I rolled onto my back and looked up at her. Her playful gaze turned intense. She lifted a hand and caressed my cheek. Then she came to a decision and bowed over. I closed my eyes long before our lips met.
It wasn’t a long kiss or particularly passionate. It was sweet, and nice, and when she pulled away, I opened my eyes, looking into hers. “Better than a hug,” she whispered.
“That was a make-up kiss,” I said.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Please come to the talks.”
“All right.”
She helped me sit. I almost fell off the bed, anyway, but she grabbed me, and then I awkwardly turned my legs to the floor. “You saved me.”
“I did. Now you have to let me hold your arm.”
I laughed and offered it.
* * * *
“I’m sorry for being a disruption,” I said, taking my seat. Gionna gestured, moving other people about, and took the seat beside me. “Please continue.”
I sat quietly, listening, offering nothing. The conversation danced around for a while, but wasn’t really going anywhere. It felt like the Ressalines weren’t interested in solving the problems their po
licies were causing.
We reached a pause, and Gionna said, “I think I’d like to summarize. We would like enhanced trade with Flarvor. They have suggested food goods they would buy. Timber is easy, but limited, as we would prefer to engage in sustainable practices. We do not produce crafted goods their own craftsmen can’t produce. And so, the only other suggestion is to produce food products they can’t produce for themselves due to climate differences.”
“Correct,” Olivia confirmed.
“We have discussed two ways to enhance our production of those goods,” Gionna continued. “One is for us to open more farming ourselves, and the other is for us to lure more Flarvorians to settle our lands. Both are problematic.”
“Correct.”
“Princess Darfelsa has interesting ideas about both of those,” Gionna said. “And maybe her ideas won’t work, but I think we should at least see what she says. Sometimes it takes an outside view to see what we can’t see ourselves.” She was looking at her mother when she said it.
Lisdee wasn’t an idiot. She knew this wasn’t only about my ideas. She looked at her daughter, then turned her gaze to me. “My daughter is right. You traveled all this way, and it wasn’t to deliver cans of fruit, as welcome a gift as they were.” I inclined my head at that. “I would welcome your thoughts, Darfelsa.”
I considered. I was deeply tempted to try to make her grovel a little, but I didn’t think she would, and it wouldn't enhance anything if I did. And so, I nodded. “I don’t know if I have solutions. I have observations and perspective. Let’s talk about your own people populating more farms. I’m going to ask a question that’s probably pretty stupid, but I think I need to ask anyway. Why don’t more people move into Charth, now that it’s an option? Why are you based here, Lisdee?”
“It’s not a stupid question,” she said. “If my daughter were to ask, then it would be a stupid question. I must be based here. It is not a choice; it is a requirement. You have seen our magic. The magic is not something inherent to our people. It is inherent to this place. That’s not necessarily a secret, but it’s not something we advertise, either.”
“Thank you for explaining.”