by Robin Roseau
“Ah,” she said again. “I don’t care for this plan.”
“Neither do I, but why don’t you care for it?”
“Darfelsa, you don’t have to do what I’m about to ask you to do.”
I turned my head to look at her. “Okay,” I said slowly, knowing I was almost certainly going to do whatever it was.
“It would suit my plans for you to marry sooner rather than later, and it would further suit my plans if you would grow plump with a child not that long afterwards.”
I got it immediately. “You want me to take pressure off of you.” My children would secure the next generation, in the case that Ahlianna didn’t produce any.
“Yes, you could say that. Sister, I will make certain promises to you. You and your wife may live here in the palace for the rest of your days. Your children will receive appropriate educations, and I can make opportunity for them.”
“You don’t have to bribe me,” I told her. “And I guess I assumed that, anyway.”
“Well, I didn’t want you to have to assume,” she replied. “I do not like this game of endurance. It isn’t fair, and it doesn’t serve my goals. In a way, you’re in a good, if difficult position. You love one. You are fond of the other two, and I believe if you weren’t holding your emotions in check, you would easily fall in love with either of them.”
“You’re right. How am I supposed to decide?”
“Let’s come back to that. How do you feel about my request?”
“I don’t have any problems at all with your request. Do you mean for me to get pregnant the next day? That involves a trip north.”
“No, but perhaps soon. I have other needs of you first.”
I nodded. “And so?”
“And so, I believe the women of this family need to meet.”
“You mean Mother?”
“And Grandmother.”
The thought filled me with dread.
* * * *
I tried to fill my schedule. Ahlianna probably saw through me, because by the time I had finished dressing after training, she had seen Renishta, and Renishta said simply, “The crown princess has adjusted your appointments this afternoon. You are meeting her for lunch, and she said you would possibly be busy for the remainder of the afternoon.”
I groaned but nodded.
Lunch itself wasn’t difficult. We actually went out, which was quite the production, but I didn’t have to worry about that. But on our return, Ahlianna declared, “The four of us are going to talk. This way.” Mother offered a look that Ahlianna ignored, and she led us to the library.
One of the serving staff was leaving just as we entered, and there was hot tea already waiting. Mother and Grandmother both noticed. We took seats, orchestrated by Ahlianna. Mother and Grandmother sat on the sofa; Ahlianna and I were in chairs facing them.
“We’re here to talk about Darfelsa,” Ahlianna said. “From her body language, you can probably guess she already knows that. Grandmother, Father has already said he will ratify our choice as long as Mother and I are both in agreement. Mother and I have both told Darfelsa we would accept any of her three suitors. Mother, has your opinion changed?”
“It has not.”
“Nor has mine,” Ahlianna said. “I do not wish this process to drag further. Darfelsa will marry. She will produce children. Grandmother, we have not discussed this with you; maybe you know this, maybe you do not. The children will be produced through the magic of Ressaline. They will each be planned; they will be daughters, and only daughters. Do you have anything to say to that?”
“Darfelsa must carry them.”
“Darfelsa will carry the first,” I said for myself. “After that, my wife and I will discuss it. But the magic involved means they are both of her and of me, as if one of us is the father. All our children will be treated as if we are their parents.”
“Sister,” said the crown princess, “I tentatively, cautiously agree to this plan, but if I were to insist you carry at least the first two, are you going to fight me?”
“When will you decide that?”
“After people have grown accustomed to how the first was produced.”
I nodded. “I won’t fight you, Sister.”
“Good. Grandmother, if you’re going to comment on this, do it now.”
“That isn’t fair,” Grandmother replied. “I see you’re waiting to finalize your decision. I might suggest that I am closer to the people than you are, and I think you would be a fool to ignore me two years from now.”
“She’s probably right,” I admitted.
“All this will be easier if Darfelsa carries all of them,” Grandmother said. “Everyone in this room knows that. It will be easier to explain Ressaline magic to her consort’s family than to our entire country. It is imperative Darfelsa carry the first, and I don’t imagine that changes for her second. After that, no one cares, but at the same time, no amount of explanation will convince everyone that any children carried by her consort are truly hers.”
“How about you, Grandmother?” I asked. “Do you need to be convinced?”
She looked into my eyes and then finally said, “I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“I expect you to treat all my children as if they are my children, and to support me when anyone else suggests otherwise,” I replied.
“And I expect you to listen to me when I offer advice.”
“Listen doesn’t mean I won’t also listen to other voices,” I said, “and come to my own conclusions after that. It does not mean blind obedience.”
“Then we understand each other.”
I wasn’t sure I trusted her on this, but I nodded. Ahlianna paused and said, “All right. We’ll consider that topic put to bed, at least for now. Darfelsa will carry her first child, and it may be best if she carries the first two. I reserve the right to make that an order, Sister. You should warn your suitors.”
“I will.”
“Blame me if you want,” she added. I didn’t respond to that. “Darfelsa.” I looked into her eyes. “If I ordered you to marry my choice, how would you react?”
“I might suggest you tell the other two.”
She snorted a laugh. “It’s a serious question. If I decide this for you, are you going to be angry?”
Again I thought about it then said, “No.”
“I believe you could be happy with any of the three. I also believe any of the three would support you.”
“Yes,” I agreed, although my voice was weak.
“Well, I would rather not handle it that way,” she said. “I think you should ask your grandmother’s advice.”
“You do?”
“Perhaps we’ll see if you and her really do agree on what it means to listen.”
I offered a brief smile after that. “All right,” I said. “Grandmother, what do you think I should do to resolve this? I have three suitors, and I may only marry one.”
“What do you want to do, Darfelsa?”
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t think it was that difficult a question, and I bet you already know what you want.”
“I’m fairly sure you don’t care what I want.”
“I might not, but I would like you to articulate it, anyway.”
I looked away, then I actually got up and walked to the window. I stared outside for a while. Finally, Grandmother said, “I’m not going to get angry, Darfelsa. I’m not going to withdraw my support if I don’t like the answer. But until I hear what you have to say, I can do nothing but guess. I don’t care to guess.”
I turned. “I want to ask Shalendra to marry me.”
“Do you believe she will agree?”
“Yes.”
“Why Shalendra and not either of my choices?”
“I am fond of Tisha and Siora. I enjoy their company. From what I’ve seen, unless they are acting, I can envision a good life with either of them. But I love Shalendra, and I have for a while. Furthermore, we’ve spent far more time together, so
me of it in difficult situations, and while she made a few mistakes, she learned from them, and she was supportive. I have more faith in that choice, and I’m in love. I believe she is, as well. Love may be a poor reason in your mind, but I can’t help it.”
“You worry that Tisha and Siora wouldn’t be fully supportive?”
“I wouldn’t say ‘worry’. I would say they are utterly untested.”
“You have more faith in your own ability to judge Shalendra.”
“Yes.”
“Then unless Ralifta or Ahlianna is changing her mind, we know what you should do.”
I stared, blinking. “Excuse me?”
“You don’t need to ask me. You already know what to do. You must kindly tell Tisha and Siora your plans. If you are unable to do so, your mother can do it for you. She would be better than I would be. And then you must talk to Shalendra.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I looked at Ahlianna, who simply shrugged, not a lot of help. Mother was staring at her own mother, saying nothing. “Mother?”
“I think Shalendra is an excellent choice, Darfelsa.”
“Grandmother, what are you doing?”
“You asked my advice. You answered my questions. I then offered my opinion, and now you’re not happy?”
“You’re not even arguing for one of your choices?”
“I believe you have fulfilled your end of our original agreement. You told me when I arrived that we were late to the party. I suspect if I had been in this room earlier in the process, I could have steered results differently. Instead, I made my own mistakes. But I’m still getting what I want.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I would have been quite pleased if you had selected either of the cousins,” she said. “But I’m here, in this room, and all three of you are listening to what I have to say, taking me seriously, and offering me respect. I have no reason to believe that will change.”
“Is that what this was all about?”
“No. Would I have preferred either Tisha or Siora? Yes. That is due to loyalty to my region. I am not going to live forever, after all. Perhaps you’ll be open when I try to insert someone on your staff.”
“I won’t take anyone if I don’t think her first loyalty will be to me.”
“Oh, please,” she replied. “No one, and I mean no one is going to put loyalty to me ahead of loyalty to you, Darfelsa. I am not the sort of person who engenders loyalty. I am happy if I receive respect.”
“Darfelsa,” Ahlianna said, “You’ll be spending at least a portion of the winter in Sharden. I believe Grandmother should give you one or two local assistants while dealing with issues there.”
“Excellent,” Grandmother said. “I’ll have choices ready for you when you arrive.”
“Crown Princess,” I said. “Will you gainsay me if I suggest I want my staff to remain all women?”
“No. Why?”
“Thank you. It complicates some things, but it means I know I can take my entire staff to Ressaline, if necessary. It also means if we go somewhere with difficult housing arrangements, I don’t need to deal with placing men and women separately. And I feel I get more out of my existing staff when we’re not dealing with male egos.”
“You need to learn to deal with men, Granddaughter.”
“I can deal with men just fine,” I said. “But they often have a hard time dealing with me, especially when I am the one in a position of authority. I’ll let my sister fight those battles.”
Grandmother smiled. Ahlianna gave a little growl, which was cute. And I began to grin, realizing the implications. “I can ask her,” I whispered.
“Perhaps let me warn your father,” Mother suggested. “Unless he has changed his mind, yes. Do you want me to talk to Tisha and Siora?”
“I’ll do it.”
“Then we should discuss your proposal,” Mother said.
“Grandmother,” I said. “There’s a custom from your region. Do you know it?”
She began to grin, more broadly than I may have ever seen. “I know it well.”
“How do you feel about it?”
“It’s very, very traditional to the point of being considered quite old-fashioned.”
“It is,” I said. “And?”
“It would need to be modified.”
“And? Mother, do you know what we’re talking about?”
“Of course I do,” she said. “When?”
“I believe we all know the answer to that.”
“Mother, is there time to make the arrangements?”
“If I may make use of Royal Couriers to acquire the necessary assistance.”
“You may,” Mother said.
“Granddaughter, how long have you thought about this?”
“Since we attended that wedding.”
“You were six!”
“It was so beautiful,” I said. “I found the bride absolutely fascinating.”
“I seem to remember that,” she replied. “You couldn’t take your eyes from her.”
“I imagine I made a fool of myself.”
“I recall the bride herself being quite pleased you were in attendance.”
“Ralifta, we must invite the right people.”
“I’ll want your help,” Mother replied. “Daughter, do you know the entire custom?”
“I read a book from Grandmother’s library,” I said. “And then stole it.”
“That’s what happened to that book!” Grandmother said. “I had to replace it. You little ragamuffin!”
“I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t lie to your grandmother.”
We made plans, and two Royal Couriers left the city by dinner.
Birthday
I told Tisha and Siori together. I invited both of them for tea. I considered dinner, but I didn’t want them to be forced to stay for a meal if they hated me. So I invited them both for tea, and they may have suspected the reason when they arrived, but they gave no notice.
We exchanged greetings and sat. I had tea ready, and poured. We sipped, exchanged a minute of pleasantries, and then I set my cup down.
I didn’t make a speech of it. “I intend to ask Shalendra Robella to become my wife.”
They both froze, just for a moment, and then Siora said, “I’m sure she’ll be good for you.”
“I can’t say I’m not disappointed,” Tisha added. “But we knew when we came that you undoubtedly already had strong feelings for her.”
“I am fond of both of you. Ahlianna asked me if she forced me to choose one of you, would I be upset, and I told her I wouldn’t be.”
In unison, we all picked up our tea again. I didn’t have more to say. Maybe I should have apologized. Probably, I should have apologized. Then, they set their tea down, mine to follow. “I would like one final kiss, Darfelsa,” Siori said.
“As would I,” Tisha added. “In the garden.”
“In the garden,” Siori confirmed. They both stood up, and once I had done so as well, they each took an arm.
By now, they knew the way. I let them lead me to the garden. “I’ll wait here,” Siori said, just outside the palace. She released my arm.
Tisha steered. I wasn’t surprised when she brought us to the pond. We didn’t sit, but she turned me to face her. “You said you were going to ask her, implying you haven’t yet.”
“I’d rather she not know.”
“And perhaps you would rather she not know she has become your only suitor, lest she guess?”
“I thought it was wrong to ask her without…”
“Clearing the field,” she finished for me. “I appreciate that. Princess Darfelsa, you are a very good woman.” I looked down. She stepped closer and lifted my chin. “This may be difficult for you and even more so for her, but I would like to remain friends. Maybe not close friends, but friends.”
“I’d like that as well.”
That was when she kissed me, and it was as good as any other kiss we shared. We hu
gged afterward, both clinging to each other. “Were you serious that you could have accepted Siori or me?”
“Yes.”
“So, perhaps we’ll stay for a little longer, in case… you need a backup suitor.”
“You don’t have to do that, if you don’t want to.” I pushed away, keeping my hands on her shoulders. “I feel confident, but I know where to find you. Would you want me to come?”
“Absolutely.” She pulled me to another kiss, and then she hooked my arm. We walked slowly back to the palace. We reached Siori, and she offered one final brushing of cheeks. If there are to be more, I guess we’ll see.
“I’ll wait for you, Siori,” she said. And then she hurried away from me. I stared after her, and Siori said nothing, waiting for me to turn to her.
She then took my arm. We walked slowly. “You feel bad,” she said eventually.
“I like all of you, and I also feel this process wasn’t fair to any of you.”
“Tisha and I knew what we were getting into when we traveled here,” she said. “And one presumes your lady understood as well. I know you’ll treat her well.”
“I’ll do my best, at least.”
“Good.” She turned me towards her and lifted a hand, brushing at my lips, and then her hand slid behind my head, and we met. It was a soft, sweet kiss, and we both knew it was goodbye. “I would have loved you, and you would have loved me.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“I have had experiences I never envisioned.” Then she laughed. “I bet Tisha asked to stay friends.”
“She did.”
“Good. How are you going to ask her?”
“There’s a tradition from Sharden.”
She laughed again. “Do you have any idea how old fashioned that is?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I am now officially jealous. Someday, I hope someone half as lovely as you goes through the same for me.”
“Maybe you should take the lead.”
“No. That might be Tisha. It is not my way.”
“Well, I hope you find what you want, Siori.”
She hooked my arm. “If she declines, will you come for one of us?”