by S. J. West
I decide to let go of my anger and cuddle up to him as close as I can get. I begin to hiccup slightly from crying for so long and hard. After a while, I’m finally able to catch my breath. The warmth of Julian’s body so close to mine and the way his hand continues to trail along the curve of my back makes me feel more than just comforted. Such close contact begins to arouse certain needs my body has. I immediately try to clear my mind of such thoughts. Julian is my vampire, to take care of for as long as I live. I’m expected to give him an heir to carry on my family’s bloodline. I can’t just throw all that responsibility out the window because I’m horny.
Yet, what am I supposed to do to curb my desire? What can I do to resolve the situation to my satisfaction?
“Julian,” I say in a soft voice as I raise my head from his chest to look in his eyes, “drink from me.”
I see a frown form on his face. “I told you we could take that slow, Sarah. I can wait until tomorrow night.”
“But I can’t,” I reply, pulling away from him to lie flat on my back. I pull my long hair away from my neck. “Please,” I beg, “drink.”
Julian raises himself up on an elbow as he looks at me and considers my request. I fear he’s going to refuse my offer, refuse me, but I suppose that was a silly notion. I doubt there are many of his kind who will reject an offer from their companion to feed when they’re being begged to do it.
He leans over and gently kisses the base of my neck, tasting the flesh right above my throbbing artery. The warmth of his mouth and the soft, teasing motion of his lips against my skin causes my breathing to become shallow. I lift my hands and cradle his head.
“Drink, Julian,” I beg again. This time he doesn’t hesitate with gentle foreplay.
The sharpness of his bite causes me to groan in pain, but as I feel him take what he needs from my body I begin to feel a sense of euphoria. The more he drinks the more I want him to drink. As I continue to hold his head to me, I suddenly realize I have all the power in this relationship. He needs me a lot more than I need him, and that knowledge comforts me more than anything else.
“Stop,” I order him, feeling his mouth immediately leave my flesh as he lifts his head to look down at me.
In the dim light of the room, I can see the glistening of my blood covering his lips. I begin to wonder what it must taste like to him, and decide there’s only one way to find out.
I sit up slightly and lean over until our faces are so close we can each feel the other’s breath against our skin. Julian watches me, but gives nothing of his feelings away. In that moment, I don’t care what he’s feeling. All I want to do is quench my curiosity.
I move my face closer to his and watch his mouth open slightly of its own accord. With one quick flick of my tongue against his lips, I instantly taste my blood. I find it slightly metallic, yet bordering on sweet.
“Do I taste good to you?” I ask him.
He doesn’t answer right away. I see him swallow hard before saying, “Yes.”
“Have all of your companions tasted like me?”
Again, he doesn’t speak for a few seconds before replying, “No. Your blood is sweeter for some reason. I don’t know why.”
“Hmm, interesting,” I reply before lying back down on my pillow.
Julian watches me with a guarded expression. It’s the first time I’ve seen him look uncertain when dealing with me, and I can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction in having confused him.
“Lie down with me until I go to sleep,” I order, testing the new dynamic of our relationship.
Without protest Julian does as I say, taking me back into his arms and allowing me to cuddle up against him once more.
“Would you mind singing to me again?” I ask, curious to know how far he’s willing to go to keep me happy.
Julian clears his throat and does indeed begin to sing again.
I smile. The warmth of his body and the smooth cadence of his song soon lull me into a dreamless and restful sleep.
When I wake up the next morning Julian is gone, but only from my bed. I can still feel his presence in the room beside mine. He isn’t the only one I can feel or hear for that matter. I would have thought the walls would be thicker in a house as old as this one, but the wall between my room and Julian’s must be paper-thin because I can hear the conversation between Helen and him quite clearly.
“What were you thinking, Julian? Do you know what that poor girl went through last night while you were out gallivanting around who knows where? You knew she would need you! Why weren’t you here for her?”
“I find it difficult to be around her,” Julian answers simply, without an ounce of emotion.
“Difficult?” Helen’s voice raises an octave. “Why? You should feel more comfortable around her now than you do me, for God’s sake!”
“I can’t explain it,” Julian says, letting his frustration show in his voice. “It’s hard for me to be near her. I don’t like being around her.”
He couldn’t have said anything worse if he tried. I feel my chest and throat tighten, like someone is strangling me. How can he say such things about me and mean them? Isn’t he supposed to feel as bad as I do when we’re apart? How can he not want to be near me? What’s wrong with me in his eyes?
After my breakthrough last night about our relationship, I thought Julian truly cared about me, but hearing his words to Helen completely obliterates whatever it was we were building between us.
“You’re not making any sense,” Helen says contemptuously. “Whatever your problem is, you had better get over it. That child needs you, and I won’t have you hurting her any more than you already have! She is giving up everything she knows and everything she ever dreamed of being to help you! Act like the man I know you can be for her, Julian, not this creature who runs away whenever he wants just because he finds something difficult to handle.”
Julian says something so low all I can hear is a mumble.
“Well, too late!” Helen tells him before she storms out of his room, slamming the door in the wake of her righteous fury.
I can’t make my body move so I lie in bed for a few minutes more, trying to let go of the pain Julian’s words have caused me. How could he have been so loving and kind when he held me in his arms and sang to me the night before, and then say such cruel things to Helen this morning concerning how he truly feels about me? It doesn’t make any sense at all, but maybe you have to be a logical person to understand that fundamental fact.
I hope Daniel and Adrian haven’t heard the conversation between Julian and Helen, but I’m sure Adrian probably did. If I could hear it, he would surely be able to with his vampire hearing. Now, on top of knowing I’m not wanted by Julian, I’ll have to deal with the embarrassment of Adrian being privy to how my vampire truly feels about me, too. I place my hands over my face and moan my aggravation. This day isn’t starting out very well.
At least I already have a good excuse to be away from the house this morning. I promised Kaylee I would come to her home for breakfast, and I plan to keep that promise. I force myself out of bed and take a quick shower. I don’t even bother putting on much makeup. I rarely wear that much anyway. A little powder, mascara, and lip-gloss are all I need not to feel completely naked to the world. I blow my hair dry and put it up in a ponytail. From the clothes Helen bought me, I choose a simple white peasant blouse and blue jeans. I pick out a pair of gold thong sandals with a sling-back strap to finish my casual look.
I grab my purse and cautiously open the door to see if anyone is in the hallway. Thankfully, it’s empty. I know Julian is still in his room so I slip out as quickly as I can and practically hop down the stairs two at a time. Just as I reach the front door, I hear someone clear his throat behind me. Involuntarily, I turn around and find Adrian leaning against the doorway to the living room, grinning at me.
“Going somewhere?” he asks.
“I told my sister I would have breakfast with her this morning,” I explain, even thou
gh I don’t really owe him any sort of explanation.
“Your leaving wouldn’t have anything to do with Julian’s little conversation with Helen this morning, now would it?”
He’s happy about what he heard Julian say. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe he’s just a sadistic pig who likes seeing people miserable.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the same conversation he did. “Besides, I made my promise to my sister yesterday morning. I really need to go. She’s expecting me.”
“Have fun.” His smile is deceptively sweet. “I’m sure Daniel will be eagerly awaiting your return.”
“When are you planning to leave?” I ask. The sooner he’s out of the house, the better I’ll feel. I get the distinct feeling Adrian is someone who likes to stir up trouble wherever he goes. The sooner he’s gone the better. Though, I will hate losing Daniel so soon. I enjoy his company, and it’s nice having another vampire companion to compare notes with.
“Tomorrow,” Adrian replies, keeping his fake smile plastered on his face even though he doesn’t really feel like he owes me an answer. “Will you miss us?”
“I’ll miss Daniel.” I don’t see any reason to lie. Adrian has to know I can’t stand him. I don’t think I’ve tried very hard to hide how I feel.
Adrian chuckles. “Well then, I’ll have to make sure he visits you regularly while we’re in New Orleans.”
“I’d appreciate that. Listen, I really need to be heading out. I’m running late as it is.”
“Of course, Sarah. I’m sorry I delayed you.”
Before I turn back around to the door, I catch a glimpse of Julian standing at the top of the stairs. I’m not sure how long he’s been there, but it doesn’t really matter.
“I’m going to Kaylee’s house,” I tell him, feeling like I should say something and not totally ignore his presence.
“See you when you get back,” he replies with a curt nod.
I step out the door as quickly as I can without making it look like I’m trying to make a great escape, which is exactly what I’m doing.
My car isn’t parked in front of the house where I left it, so I walk around the side of the house where I know the garage is located. I find my car, but I also find a few more vehicles that practically have me drooling with envy. There’s a blood red Aston Martin Vanquish parked on the left side of my car and a yellow Ferrari Enzo on the right. My poor little Toyota Camry looks like the redheaded stepchild of the bunch. Sort of the way I feel when I’m around Julian and Adrian. I notice a motorcycle parked near the far wall of the garage. It looks like a custom build, not one you would be able to buy right off the showroom floor. It’s black and chrome and looks expensive. That’s about all I know.
I hop into my Toyota and cautiously back it out of the garage, petrified I might make a wrong move and inadvertently scratch one of the vehicles beside me. Thankfully, I make it out of the garage safely. Once I’m on the road to Kaylee’s house, I sigh in relief. I feel the pain of distancing myself from Julian, but I try to push it to the back of my mind. If he doesn’t like being around me, then I won’t burden him with my presence any more than necessary. In fact, I intend to spend the whole day with Kaylee and stay at my apartment this evening. Julian said we could skip a day of feeding, and that’s what I intend to do. I refuse to stay somewhere I’m not wanted if I don’t have to.
I realize I’m probably acting like a rebellious child but he hurt my feelings with his careless words, and I don’t feel like I owe him more than what’s absolutely necessary.
I see the Hughes Mobile parked in Kaylee’s driveway. It’s an older model Honda Odyssey that desperately needs to be replaced. I think Kaylee’s parents keep it as a reminder of days gone by when they used it to shuttle us girls to soccer practices, school plays, and the occasional trip to Disney World when they could afford it.
My spirits feel lifted just thinking about seeing my adoptive parents. At least I’ll be surrounded by people who truly love me and want to be around me, unlike one person in particular, who shall not be named.
I walk up the sidewalk, trying my best to ignore the persistent yearning I feel to jump back into my car and drive recklessly fast, back to Julian. I hope Daniel is right and that eventually I’ll cease to feel this unbearable pain inside my chest when I’m out of Julian’s presence.
Kaylee’s mom, Susan, stands waiting for me at the open front door with a big smile on her face.
“I feel like it’s been forever since I saw you last.” She immediately pulls me into her arms as soon as I’m within her reach. To feel truly loved by someone is a blessing. I always feel that way when I’m around Kaylee and her parents.
I never did feel comfortable calling them Mom and Dad. I felt like it would be disrespectful to the memory of my own parents. Kaylee’s parents weren’t offended and told me to at least call them Susan and Pete, not Mr. and Mrs. Hughes.
“It’s only been a week,” I remind her, hugging Susan back as hard as she’s hugging me.
Kaylee’s mom pulls back but places her hands on my forearms, searching my face with a critical eye.
“You seem different,” she says, trying to puzzle out what it is she senses. Leave it to mothers. They always know when something has changed in the lives of their children. “Kaylee told us about your grandfather. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I didn’t know him.” I shrug. “I didn’t even know he existed until a couple of days ago. Now that all the paperwork is done, I just want to forget about it.”
I don’t like lying to her, but how can I possibly tell her the whole truth? Would she even believe me? I would like to think she would, but how can I expect her to accept something so out there only crazy people would believe it’s true?
“You know you can tell me anything,” she reminds me.
“I know.”
She isn’t convinced that everything is fine and dandy in my world, but I know she won’t push the matter either. It just isn’t her way.
“Well, come on in. Pete and Kaylee are making the waffles. I hope you’re hungry, because I think they made enough to feed an army.”
In fact, I’m ravenous. Even though Susan thinks they may have made too much food, I have a nagging suspicion that they haven’t made enough to satisfy my newly-acquired appetite.
When we step into Kaylee’s kitchen, the aroma of freshly-baked waffles and sizzling bacon hits me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t realize I was so hungry until I smelled food.
“Ah, there she is,” Pete says, walking around the island where Kaylee is keeping a watchful eye on the waffle maker. He gives me a big bear hug before letting me go and asking, “How are you doing, sweetie? We heard about your grandfather.”
“She’s fine, Pete,” Susan says. “We’ve already talked about it.”
Pete nods his head, getting the hint to drop the subject.
“Kaylee told us we needed to make you a big breakfast because you were going to be extra hungry.”
“Yep,” I say, nonchalantly taking a waffle from the platter on the counter. “I’m starving.”
“Well, sit down,” Kaylee practically orders. “Everything’s almost ready.”
I surreptitiously eye the platter of waffles and know there won’t be enough to satisfy my hunger, especially if I have to share them with three other people.
Kaylee and her dad bring the waffles, a plate full of bacon, and a bowl full of fruit salad to the table. There’s freshly-squeezed orange juice and milk to drink. I take a glass of each.
“Don’t forget the Nutella,” I casually remind them, remembering quiet clearly that I was promised the deliciously delectable hazelnut spread.
I do my best not to look like a complete pig while I eat but my family still watches me with morbid fascination, like I’m a participant at a competitive eating competition.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat so much so fast without spilling something on yourself,” Kaylee
says in true amazement.
I stick my tongue out at her. “I warned you I would be hungry.”
“Yeah, but since when do you eat ten waffles in one sitting?”
Since I bonded with a vampire, I think to myself. I decide Kaylee doesn’t need to know that I’m still hungry even after ten waffles, ten strips of bacon, half a jar of Nutella, and most of the fruit salad. She would most likely take me to the hospital and make them check me for a tapeworm.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Susan asks, openly eyeing my waistline for any sign of a baby bump.
“No,” I reply a bit too emphatically out of nervousness, “just hungry.”
“She’d have to have a boyfriend to become pregnant,” Kaylee tells her mom, not trying to hide her disappointment in my perpetual single status.
Was now the right time to bring up Julian? It’s as good a time as any, I supposed.
Even if he doesn’t really want to be near me, we are still going to have to explain his constant presence in my life somehow. We’re stuck with each other whether we want to be or not.
“I’ve actually started seeing someone.”
Kaylee looks surprised. Susan looks pleased. And Pete looks suspicious.
“Who?” Kaylee asks eagerly. “And when did this happen?”
“The guy from the club you took me to. The one I danced with.”
Kaylee’s eyes grow so large they practically bulge out of their sockets at my news.
“He actually lives here in town,” I inform them as I push my empty plate away and lean back in my chair. “In fact, he just bought a house on Bayou Road.”
“What does he do for a living?” Pete asks. Typical father question.
“I think his family has money,” I answer, not sure what else to say. “I don’t think he has a job, per se.”
“Hmm…” I can tell Pete isn’t pleased with my answer. He’s a firm believer that men should work, whether they’re independently wealthy or not. Julian will have to prove his worth to Pete Hughes if he ever wants his respect.