‘Stable.’
That’s what they thought of me. All my efforts to retain my ability to think and analyze hinged on one thing—hoping to be free one day. I held on to it as to a lifeline, because I knew that once that hope was gone, my sanity would quickly follow.
If what Keller just told me was true, I might be closer to freedom now than I’d ever been. A meltdown now would only hinder my situation.
With a deep inhale, I closed my eyes, reining the panicky feeling under control. Then I heard the guard exit and the door swish shut, ruining my attempts to remain calm.
“Hey!” I rushed to the door and slammed my fists into the metal surface. “How about my walk!”
“I’ll return shortly, with the appropriate clothing for you,” a voice boomed from behind the door, then a pair of coffee-coloured eyes met mine through the barred window. “Wait here.” Hearing his voice rendered me speechless. I still struggled with the idea of them actually communicating.
The sound of his retreating steps in the distance let my thoughts drift back to what I had just learned.
Demons.
Chill prickled my skin despite the warmth inside the cell.
Could that actually be true?
Chapter 2
WHEN THE DOOR CLOSED after Keller and the guards, I realized there was no usual click of the lock.
Was it true? The door was to be unlocked now?
I rushed to it and gripped the window bars with both hands. Feet planted firmly on the concrete floor, my whole body shook with strain as I struggled to slide the heavy metal door aside. It wouldn’t budge, not by a millimeter. Now more than ever I really wished to be taller, bigger, stronger.
Huffing and puffing, I wrestled with the massive door long enough to hear the footsteps again. Then a gloved hand took hold of the bar right in front of my face.
The door slid open, smooth and swift, knocking me off balance. I would have fallen, had I not held on to the bars. A uniformed guard steadied me by grabbing my elbow as he walked in.
Demon?
I leaped away from him, yanking my arm out of his hand.
“Is it true?” I asked, keeping a safe distance from him. “Are you really a demon?”
“Yes.” His voice sounded less raspy this time but still impassive. “Your walk has been approved. When would you like to go?”
I spotted a bundle of clothes and a pair of boots under his arm—grey flannel and what seemed to be a hooded winter jacket.
“How about right now?” I narrowed my eyes at him in challenge, but he nodded silently and handed the clothes to me, without arguing.
“Really?” I stared at the offering in his hands, still afraid to believe it wasn’t some kind of a trap. “Just like that?”
He stared back at me, not much understanding in those dark eyes.
What exactly did demon mean?
The images that came to mind—someone red-skinned and winged, with horns, tail and goat hooves—didn’t match with the tall figure in front of me dressed in some kind of modern armour.
There is no way that helmet could house horns, and the boots seemed to conceal a pair of normal human feet.
“Are you . . . You’re not going to hurt me in any way, right?” I asked hesitantly, giving in to the urge to hear his reassurance. I’d made no move to accept the clothes from him yet.
“No.” He walked around me and placed them on the mattress. “The sole purpose of my being here now is to assist you. If you’ve changed your mind about taking a walk tonight—” He went for the door.
“Wait.” I stopped him on his way out, all concerns forgotten for now. “I’ll go. I’ll get dressed.”
Hurriedly, I snatched a pair of grey underwear from the pile of clothes and put them on, feeling sudden appreciation for the familiar sense of security. I realized that wearing nothing but a loose, short dress all this time had made me feel exposed and therefore more vulnerable.
I threw a glance over my shoulder to make sure the guard hadn’t left. As could’ve been expected he hadn’t the decency to turn around to give me any privacy and just stood there, staring at me blankly. Carefully keeping my back to him, I ripped my dress over my head and put on the clothes he’d brought.
Getting properly dressed—even if just in a pair of long-sleeved pajamas, with socks, bra and underwear—brought back some feeling of normalcy.
“I’m ready,” I announced, attempting to find a way to roll up the long sleeves of the winter jacket that was ridiculously big for me.
“Sorry, it was made for a man,” came from inside the helmet, and I noticed he’d been watching my struggle with the sleeves. “We don’t have a jacket in your size on the base.”
“But you do have women’s boots,” I noted, shoving my feet into the winter boots that turned out to be only a size too big.
He just shrugged his armoured shoulders in reply and stepped aside, letting me exit.
For the first time ever, I walked out of the cell fully dressed and with only one guard to accompany me. And when we came to the turn in the corridor that would lead me to the white room on the left, he gently placed his hand on the small of my back to steer me to the right.
Up a set of concrete stairs, we entered a wide hallway with a solid metal door. Another armoured guard was positioned near it. He froze at the sight of us.
“We are going for a walk,” my guard explained casually. Coming from him, the sentence sounded bizarre if not comical. I would have laughed had I not been this nervous.
The guard at the door just stood there staring through the slits of his helmet at us, in utter silence. It appeared to take him a moment to process the words, but finally he stirred.
“You can’t take a live Source off the property, Handler.” His voice sounded even more rough and raspy than my guy’s. Obviously, they weren’t used to talking much.
A live source? What did it mean?
“I have permission. We’ll stay within the fence,” my companion replied.
The guard at the entrance paused again, as if needing some time to absorb what he had just heard. Finally, he nodded.
“I will notify the Soldier at the gate that you’re outside.” He opened the door then pushed a button to make the barred gate slide open, too.
Bars, locks, gates, and guards—all of this befitted a high-security prison. Was I really soon to be released? How much could I really trust Keller on that, with his shifty eyes?
We stepped outside, and a wave of fresh air washed over my face, bringing all my thoughts to a halt. Immediately lightheaded, I blindly grasped at the arm of the guard at my side, forgetting who or what he was for a moment.
The sun had already set behind the horizon, but the sky was still the light-grey of twilight. A pleasant breeze moved the air. It was a little cool out here, but the weather definitely didn’t warrant a winter jacket.
“What date is it?” I asked the guard.
“September,” came the reply with a slight delay.
“Date?” I specified.
The pause stretched longer this time.
“I—I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure?” I turned to face him, my eyebrow cocked in disbelief. “You don’t know what the date is today?”
He silently shook his head.
The breeze stirred the flyaway hair around my face, and I inhaled deeply, savoring the fresh smell of wet earth. It must have rained. I glanced up just in time to notice the white-blue lights blink through the slits of his helmet.
“What is that? The thing you all do with your eyes?” I let go of his arm and stepped away from him to put some distance between us. “I’ve seen you do it before.”
“Me?”
It was a good question. I couldn’t be sure that the lights I’d seen earlier flashed in the eyes of this particular guard. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if I’d seen this one before today at all.
“This is my first day of being assigned to you,” he continued.
“One of
you, then. Some of you I mean. Why do your eyes light up like that?”
“It happens when we feed.”
“Feed?” I frowned.
“I use your positive emotions as nourishment,” he explained evenly. “Your joy at fresh air, in this instance.”
“How is it possible?” I took another step to the side, putting some more space between us. “Is that what you’ve been doing to me all this time here? That’s why I’m here?”
The struggle to retain my sanity suddenly got harder. At the moment, I wasn’t sure what was bigger in me—fear or utter disbelief.
“No need to be afraid, please.” He extended his arm to me, but I recoiled from his reach. “I can only take your emotions once they’ve left your body. It’s not harmful.”
‘They can do more harmful things . . .’ Keller’s words suddenly came to mind.
No matter what anyone said, the best thing was to stay cautious and guarded. The only one I could fully trust around here was myself.
“Let’s just . . . walk.” I gestured at the gravel path that led from the entrance door and seemed to circle the sprawling property.
Since I’d gained the chance to be outside, I figured I’d use this opportunity to scan the area for any escape route, in case either demons or the people who made deals with them backed off from their promises.
“What’s your name?” I asked as we moved along the path, just to keep him talking while I took in every detail of the grey one-story building where I’d been held all this time. It didn’t seem to be as large from the outside, but I suspected the place was probably a few times its supposed size due to the expansive basement. “You do have some kind of a name, don’t you?”
In the receding light, I noted the tall concrete fence in the distance that enclosed the grounds and stretched in both directions as far as the eye could see.
“Yes. I do have a name,” he replied finally. His answer was stilted, just like the speech of the guard at the entrance door. “It’s Garrett. My human name is Garrett.”
“Your human name?” My gaze returned to his mask. The building’s outdoor lights flickered to life at that moment, instantly shrouding in darkness anything outside of their reach. Through the slits of his mask, I saw his dark-brown eyes squint from the sudden light. “Do you have non-human ones?”
“Except for Raim, the Grand Master, all of us have two names. I have a demon name, too. But it’s not advisable to share it with humans, even though we’re allowed to talk to you now.”
“Why not?”
He cupped the back of his neck in a very human gesture of indecision.
“It gives you power over us, I believe. The power to summon us to do your bidding. I . . . I don’t remember exactly how.” He spread his arms to the side in display of frustration. “Even if I did, I’m not sure I could explain it eloquently enough. I’m too hungry for that.”
“Hungry? Didn’t you just eat my joy of fresh air?” I retorted, still unsure how to feel about his way of obtaining his nourishment, or if it was even true.
“I need much more than that to regain my full mental power. Taking your emotions simply allows me to stay awake and to function.”
A sudden understanding brought me to a stop.
“Garrett. What was happening in the white room? The red lights in the eyes of the men in there? Were they also feeding?”
Wasn’t that the exact word used by Keller to describe the proceedings?
“Yes,” Garrett confirmed my suspicion.
“Why red lights, though?”
“The Council feeds on sexual energy, which reflects red in our eyes.”
So, they weren’t perverts watching after all—they were demons feeding.
The realization didn’t change anything. All of it was still wrong—them feeding off me . . . and me enjoying it.
“Will I really be allowed to go home?”
He took his time to answer, but I didn’t get the impression that the delay came from his hesitation to tell me the truth. Talking to Garrett generally proved rather painful. It felt like my words needed time to physically seep through his helmet before their meaning could be absorbed by his brain.
“To my knowledge,” he started finally, “the decision between both Councils and The Priory has been made. All Sources are to be released from the base as soon as they are ready to return to their lives.”
“Oh, I’m ready! I’m so freaking ready—”
“It’s not up to me to release you, Kitty.”
Was it a shade of regret I sensed in his voice muffled by the helmet? A hint of compassion?
“Garrett, can you produce your own emotions?”
“No.” This time the answer came fairly quick. And definite.
So, whatever I thought I sensed in him, must have been simply my imagination, distorting the reality.
“I’d like to go back, Garrett.”
He nodded and offered me his arm to lead me to the entrance. The walk and fresh air had made me lightheaded. After a moment of hesitation, I leaned on him for support.
Chapter 3
INSTEAD OF TAKING ME back to my cell, Garrett led me to a large bathroom I hadn’t seen before. There was no sink or a toilet—just a white tub in the centre, filled to the brim with fragrant bubbles.
“You can take a bath before going to bed.” He took my humongous jacket off for me. “I’ll be back for you when you’re done.”
This was highly unusual, but Garrett exited before I had a chance to ask him any questions. I watched the windowless door slide close behind him, then turned back to the bathtub in the middle of the white tiled floor.
Fragrant steam rose from the snowy-white foam, beckoning me.
Maybe this was one of the signs that things had changed around here? Just as Keller said, I was a visitor here, not a prisoner anymore, and guests were allowed to take baths.
I kicked off my boots and padded around a small wooden table next to the tub. A folded towel and a basket of toiletries sat on top.
The water under the foam felt pleasantly hot when I dipped my hand in to test it, and I promptly got out of the grey pajamas and into the tub. A moan escaped me as I soaked in the fragrant warmth. I had forgotten how wonderful a hot bath felt.
With another happy moan, I slid all the way in, dipping my face and my head under the water too, then washed my hair thoroughly.
I stayed until the water in the tub started to cool and the skin on my fingertips pruned. Finally, with a lazy stretch, I got out of the tub reluctantly and unfolded the white, fluffy towel.
A faint blue flash to the side caught my eye, startling me. Quickly, I swept the room with my gaze, catching another flicker behind the ornate mesh covering the walls before all went dark again except for the dim yellowish glow from the sole light bulb in the ceiling.
My heart skipped, as a chill of suspicion prickled along my spine.
The blue light from behind the mesh appeared identical to the one flashing in the eyes of demons—I was being watched.
I had often been watched—openly while on the cross, through the bars of the door to my cell. Even during my walk outside, I had Garrett keeping an eye on me. This, however, felt like the biggest intrusion of my privacy. I hadn’t been warned. In fact, I had every reason to believe I was alone.
Judging by the location of the white-blue flashes, there were more than one of them there. Two? Five? Thirteen?
Feeling suddenly exposed and vulnerable, I wrapped the towel tightly around me and clutched it to my chest.
The door to the bathroom opened that very moment, letting a uniformed guard in. I shrunk back to the tub, striving to stay in the middle of the room and away from him and the walls.
“It’s me, Kitty,” came the somber voice of Garrett from behind the mask. “I’ll take you back to your cell if you’re ready.” He crouched to pick up my clothes and boots from the floor.
“There is . . . someone. Behind the walls? Isn’t there?”
“They are h
ungry.” Impassive like always, he stepped to the side, signaling for me to leave.
“So much for the promise of no more feedings, huh?” I hurried along the corridor next to him.
“It’s different—”
“Hardly. I wasn’t warned . . . or asked if I’d be okay with it.”
“You weren’t being harmed. Not even touched.”
“It’s still wrong, Garrett. Secretly watching me undress—” I shook my head in frustration. How was I to explain to this emotionless demon that this blatant violation of privacy went against all human ethics? What did he care, anyway?
“Would it be better if you knew about it beforehand, Kitty?” I could have sworn I caught a note of genuine interest in his previously monotone voice. “Would you have agreed to being watched then?”
He stopped, waiting for my answer.
“Honestly? No, I wouldn’t. But I would’ve thought more of you if you gave me the choice and treated me with any kind of respect. One of the differences between a visitor and a captive is freedom of choice, Garrett.” I couldn’t believe I had to explain these basic things to someone who wasn’t a child. I knew very little about these demons, but they seemed to know even less about humans.
“What would make you agree?” He inclined his head. “Anything?”
“Agree to being watched? Nothing. I like my privacy when I bathe. Like most people do, actually.”
“What if you knew that the joy you felt at taking a bath would help several of us function through the excruciating pain ravaging our bodies every minute of every day?”
“Pain?” I tried to search for his eyes through the slits of his helmet, but the dim lighting in the corridor left them in the shadows. “Is that really what you experience?”
Gingerly, as if to avoid aggravating a physical injury, he rolled his shoulder and slowly stretched his neck.
“Yes.”
I had no obligation to have any feelings of compassion for my captors and every reason to hate them. Garrett was one of them.
Still, I couldn’t help but ask, “Does taking my emotions act like some sort of a painkiller for you?”
The Forgotten (Demons Book 2) Page 2