We’re louder than any other family here even though there’s only three of us. Justin scoots over, making room for me between Kip and an older woman to his right. She shoots me a dirty look as I get situated.
“I’m sorry.” I lower my voice, slightly breathless from all the excitement. “That’s my best friend.”
The lady barely maintains her sneer, turning her attention away from me. I roll my eyes and Kip smiles.
His lips brush my ear when he whispers, “I’m so glad you made it.”
I shrug off the goosebumps. “Barely. My taxi driver was a nightmare.”
“You took a taxi?”
“No car. Remember?”
It takes a moment, but he nods in understanding.
I smile. “Dumbass.”
He smirks, not at all fazed by my insult.
We wait for the rest of the ceremony to play out in agony. Lilly’s thirty seconds of fame are soon followed by an hour-long ceremony during which the rest of the students receive diplomas and listen to bullshit speeches about grabbing life by the horns. Though they fail to mention the humongous dick the bull has and occasionally fucks you with. Whatever. Let them believe life is tamable.
We skip out before the ceremony finishes, trying to beat the crowd to where the graduates meet with their friends and families.
I gawk at Kip and Justin’s empty hands. “Where’s the bouquet of flowers?”
Justin cocks his head. “The what?”
“Graduation flowers, you ignoramus. A huge bouquet of flowers you’re supposed to gift your girlfriend on the greatest day of her life.”
He and Kip share an amused look.
“You two are idiots,” I sputter, already walking to the florist who’s set up shop by the door.
Their arrangements are mediocre and overpriced, but I dig in my wallet for a twenty and hand it over for some lilies. Kip shoots his hand out, replacing my money with his and picking a slightly larger grouping.
“You know Lilly doesn’t care for flowers,” he says.
“That’s beside the point. It’s the gesture that matters.”
“Says the girl who was nearly an hour late.”
The students start careening from the theater doors, spilling out into the lobby like water, a sea of blue gowns swishing through the crowd. Kip’s the tallest and spots Lilly first, parting the way for her. He hands her the bouquet and she rolls her eyes, making Kip smile and point in my direction.
Her smile stops—it’s the only way to describe it—before it eases back into place. She gives Kip a hug, saying something to make him laugh, and he keeps his eyes carefully averted as they separate. In a way, it’s almost like seeing his own daughter graduate. He’s worked his butt off to make sure she’s arrived where she is today. I can’t imagine the level of pride he has for her.
Justin’s turn is slightly more dramatic and he lifts Lilly from the ground, kissing her from below as he holds her up. A few people smile at them from afar. It’s hard not to notice their happiness. They speak in hushed tones, a moment between them, and this time it’s Lilly’s turn to hide the moisture in her eyes.
Eventually, Justin releases her, and we’re forced to address each other. “You’re buying the first round of drinks.”
I laugh. “Since when do you drink?”
“Since 1L.”
If this is an olive branch, I’m grabbing it. “Then drinks are on me.”
We agree to meet at a restaurant Justin mentions and we sort out the directions. Justin and Lilly ride in her car together since she had to arrive early, and I ride with Kip because I don’t want to be in the middle of them quite yet.
The smell of Kip’s truck hits me when I sink into the seat, and I relish in the nostalgia.
“Remember when you tried to teach Lilly how to drive a stick?”
He quickly shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “I thought the transmission was going to fall out.”
“We were stuck at that intersection for half an hour.”
“I almost went to jail because some asshole decided he was going to ram us.”
“Oh, yeah,” I drawl, remembering how Kip’s face turned a deep purple. “But he only managed to cave in his front bumper.”
Kip’s lips twitch as he rubs the steering wheel. “No sports car can go up against this truck.”
His reverence for his truck is kind of endearing. Maybe because I’m kind of attached to it too. This truck has gotten Lilly and me into a lot of trouble. Or out of trouble, depending on the way you look at it.
“It’s nice that Lilly took care of it for you.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I’m proud of her.”
I’m not sure if he means the truck or his sister, but it makes me smile nevertheless. His eyes kind of glaze over and I take the moment to admire his body—I mean attire…to admire his attire. He’s dressed in slacks with a grey button-down, un-tucked with the sleeves haphazardly rolled and pushed up. Even though the clothes are cheap and slightly wrinkled around the waist, he pulls off the business casual look quite well. I don’t know why or how, but I focus on the area below his belt. His legs are relaxed, splayed at the perfect angle to drive comfortably, and all I can do is stare at his crotch.
Why can’t I stop? Oh, yeah. I know what’s hiding behind that zipper.
He ducks his head into my line of view, breaking my perusal. There’s no point in trying to hide my examination, so I smile wider, cocking an eyebrow until he’s uncomfortable enough to look away first.
“Some things never change,” he says.
“And some things change a whole lot,” I dispute. He doesn’t take the bait. “I’m surprised you got so dressed up for the graduation.”
“I had a few job interviews earlier today,” he explains.
“That’s great,” I say, confused by his lack of enthusiasm.
He takes a moment, turning into the parking lot of the restaurant. “No one wants a convicted felon working for them.”
Silence. So much silence.
What am I supposed to say to that? I don’t have to worry for long because he’s out of the truck before I can think of a logical, uplifting reply. Especially because it’s my father’s fault he’s a felon in the first place.
The restaurant is nice. Way nicer than I’d think Lilly would be comfortable with. But then again, she drinks now, so things have obviously changed. Justin and Lilly are already seated, smiling at our arrival.
“I went ahead and ordered some celebratory shots,” Justin says, pushing the two stout glasses in our direction.
I sniff it and cringe. I can’t recall the last time I did a shot of hard liquor.
Lilly smiles, a touch of a challenge beneath it. “Just drink it.”
I discreetly double-check and make sure pigs aren’t flying. But Lilly is encouraging me to drink, so I do.
Kip is a little more hesitant. I nudge him with my elbow and he swats it away, tipping the glass back and coughing as he swallows.
Justin pats him on the back. “Prison’s made you soft.”
Kip takes Justin’s ribbing good-naturedly, giving a small laugh in reply. “I haven’t had anything other than a few sips of pruno in four years.”
Justin smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners at Kip’s admission to sneaking alcohol into prison. They start debating the different ways it’s made, and how people hide the contraband, Kip even mentioning some techniques that take Justin by surprise. Which is hard to do, considering Justin’s pretty much seen it all, working alongside Lance for the DEA.
Justin had confided in Kip while he was undercover, admitting his plans to take my father down, and recruited his help to do so. I imagine it must have been hard for Kip to wrap his head around at the time, especially because Justin had already gotten involved with Lilly without her knowledge of his espionage. Lilly’s protection has always been first priority for Kip, and I know he didn’t make the choice to keep it from her lightly.
Justin orders anoth
er round of shots, but Lilly quickly pushes hers away when they arrive.
“I still have to work tomorrow.”
“Work?” I ask. “You just graduated.”
“I intern at a law office as a clerk, but I’ve already applied to a few places downtown.”
“That sounds…boring as shit.”
She laughs. “Yes, yes it is.”
We order dinner and Lilly gives me a rundown on her life as a clerk, and how stressed she is over taking the Bar Exam. Justin intervenes to tell her she’s going to do great, and she barely maintains her eye roll. He’s obviously told her this entirely too many times already, but she humors him. It’s so cute its barf worthy.
Kip, however, is quiet. He’s always been that way. More comfortable in silence than chatter. Neither Justin nor Lilly find his silence out of the ordinary, but for some reason it doesn’t sit well with me. There’s something about the way he’s sipping his drink, solely focused on his food, avoiding small talk like the plague.
Justin clears his throat and Kip finally lifts his face up from the plate in front of him.
“I, uh,” Justin says, gathering our attention. “I have something I want to say.”
Lilly’s eyes move in on him, slowly, narrowing in suspicion.
He acts like he doesn’t notice. “Lilly.”
Just by the way he says her name, she knows. Whatever it is, she knows, and she starts shaking her head. Kip and I trade glances. Justin’s eyes soften as he gently shoves his chair back. “It’s going to happen eventually, whether you like it or not.”
“No.” She says it with as much authority as she can, voice firm.
“I know you didn’t want this in a restaurant,” he says. And slowly, almost in slow motion, he falls to one knee.
My eyes widen in horror, and I look to Kip for clues that he knew, but his unwavering attention on his sister gives nothing away.
“But I’ve been holding this ring in my pocket for weeks, waiting for the right time, and I can’t seem to find it.” His hands are steadier than I expect them to be as he opens the velvet box, showcasing a simple wedding band. “If you can forgive me for doing this in public, I can’t imagine—”
Lilly cuts him off with a hand over his mouth. “Quit talking.”
Everyone, including the wait staff and patrons, stills at Lilly’s response. This is going bad, and it’s going bad fast. Justin’s eyes are wide with caution. He doesn’t move or speak as Lilly slowly removes her shaky hand from his face.
“I can’t hear a damn thing you’re saying over the sound of my heart. You’re going to have to tell me later.”
He blinks, slowly. “Is that a yes?”
She nods, linking her hands behind his neck. “Yes.”
Patrons clap, and out of obligation I clap along with them, pasting a smile on my face. I look over at Kip and he looks as uncomfortable as I am. The restaurant’s cheers eventually taper off, and after everyone turns back to their dinner, Lilly slaps Justin across the back of the head when he eases into his seat.
He rubs the back of his head, but it does nothing to erase the smile on his face.
“Why does everything you do require a fucking audience?”
He cocks his head, kissing her. “But did you say no?”
She can’t argue with that. Her stupid smile gives away how much she actually loves it.
And then reality sets in.
Lilly is getting married. Holy. Fucking. Shit. This is happening way too fast. But really, for them, this is years in the making. It only makes sense that this is the next step in life for them. This is what normal people do. They meet, fall in love, finish college, get married…have kids.
Suddenly the air is sparse. My gaze wanders to the vents in the ceiling, and I wonder if anything is actually being pumped through them, because I’m really freaking sweaty. I take a sip of my drink, hoping the alcohol gives me clarity. Why is my hand shaky? It’s not like I’m the one who was just proposed to in front of an entire restaurant. Yet, it’s my life that feels like it’s running away from me.
“Kaley.”
My attention snaps to Lilly. She’s standing and waving a hand in front of my face.
“You’re leaving?” I ask, my voice sounding small in my ears. I clear my throat.
“Yeah. It’s getting kind of late.”
I blink, trying to figure out how long I’ve been spaced for.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
I half-nod, half-shake my head. I’m pretty sure I look demented. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”
“Okay,” she draws out. “I guess I’ll see you?”
I blink again, fully pulling myself out of my stupor. “Here,” I say, retrieving my phone from my purse. “Give me your number.”
She smiles, one of the rare ones that aren’t just for show, and punches in her digits before calling herself. Hesitating for a moment, she hugs me, followed by Justin before they depart. Kip and I stare at each other in confused silence. My ears ring above the clatter of the restaurant.
“I should call a cab,” I say, but my feet remain unmoving, ass glued to the chair.
Kip breaks from my stare as he motions to the waitress, “Two vodka sodas, please.”
The waitress picks up our empty glasses. “Single or double.”
I answer, “Double.”
Kip doesn’t speak while we wait for the waitress, both of us taking healthy doses of our drinks when they arrive. I’m not a big fan of vodka because it reminds me so much of Peter, but I push the thought away as I take another sip. There’s an aura of melancholy surrounding Kip as he swirls the liquid in his glass.
“How much pruno did you actually drink during your sentence?”
Kip accepts my ice breaker, lips tipping up at the sides. “Not enough. Not nearly enough.”
We share a smile and he tips the rest of the liquor back. Tonight is about to get real interesting.
Kip already has the truck door open before I’m able to park it in Lilly’s driveway. I jump out, barely catching him as he stumbles onto the pavement. He pukes and it splatters everywhere. Groaning, I jump back as wetness hits my shins.
“How did I get this drunk?” he asks, surprisingly coherent.
“I lost count, but I’d say about ten, twelve, umpteen drinks ago.”
I brace one of his arms around my shoulders, pulling as much of his weight as I can handle, laughing at the effort it takes for his feet to catch up.
“I’m glad you think thiss iss funny.” His words finally reveal his state of intoxication, slurring at the ends.
“I’m just thinking about that old lady that swore you looked like her late husband Eddy.”
He groans as I shift us through the front door. “She kept touching my face.”
Figuring the couch is a much easier destination, I unhook his arm from around my neck, letting him fall back into the cushions. “It’s only because you’re so pinchable.” I reenact the old lady’s tone, pinching the apples of his cheeks.
He tries to swat my hands away, tilting him on his side from the effort. I pick up his legs and place them on the couch, positioning a throw pillow under his head. I stand, slightly breathless from the effort, and notice his eyes are already closed. I tip-toe back toward the stairs. The bathroom light is harsh as I blink against the monochromatic white tiles. The vomit covering my legs isn’t visible, but I can feel the stickiness. The pipes screech when I turn the water on, and I hope Lilly and Justin are hardcore sleeping.
After they left, Kip and I moved from the restaurant to a bar down the block for happy hour. Quickly realizing Kip was on a mission to kill his liver, I quit drinking, letting him drown whatever he was attempting to kill. He’s surprisingly good at pretending to be sober, though. I didn’t realize exactly how drunk he was until he tried to pee in a mop bucket next to the bathrooms.
I find myself smiling under the spray of water. I had fun. We laughed. A lot. More than I can remember laughing in what feels like for
ever. He told me how Lilly only downloaded romance novels onto his Audible account the last six months of his sentence. He insists they’re actually not that bad, and I told him about Mrs. Cecile who lives next me, and how the woman swears I’m the devil incarnate, always shoving pocket Bibles at me when I come in late.
Somewhere between the restaurant and here, he spoke more than I’ve heard him speak since I’ve known him. Kip has always held a label in my mind as Lilly’s over-protective brother. But he’s so much more than that. He’s sarcastic and funny and kind of…sweet. I nearly choke on my own thoughts, unbelieving I even had them.
It’s not until I’m toweling off that I realize I have no clothes to change into. I peak my head out of the bathroom and scurry across the hall to the spare bedroom Kip’s been crashing in. I close the door and scour the bare drawers of Kip’s dresser. There are only a couple pairs of jeans and T-shirts, maybe three pairs of underwear. This is what I get for being unprepared.
I laugh at myself as I drop the towel and shove my legs into a pair of boxers. My life is a giant test I’ve never studied for.
“What the fuck are you giggling at?”
I scream.
Kip has somehow made it up the stairs and into his bed while ungodly drunk. I hold the T-shirt up to my chest, trying to cover the important parts. I let out a relieved breath when I realize he’s facing away from my direction.
“How’d you get up here by yourself?”
“Took a magic train.” There’s a moment of silence before he says, “How do you think? With my fucking legs.”
He starts to move, and I finish getting dressed just in time for him to turn and face my direction.
“Did I miss seeing you naked?”
I smile. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.” I walk toward him and start untying his dress shoes.
“How come I can’t remember how many drinks I’ve had in the past five hours but can still count every single one of your freckles?”
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