Beck grins. “He’s probably waiting on you to do the same.”
Mondo sits on the edge of the couch, wiping a rag over his face. “Wasn’t most of your two’s relationship one sided?”
“It was not,” I say defensive, looking up from my magazine.
“But he feels that way, doesn’t he? Lance told me you hid everything from him. You most likely wounded his pride a little bit.”
I huff. “Since when did you and Lance become so close?”
“He’s paying Mondo to keep tabs on you,” Beck says, like it’s no big deal.
My eyes widen on Mondo but his glare is on Beck. “Thanks for that,” he says.
She shrugs. “Girls got to stick together. Plus, I told you I would tell her if you didn’t.”
“Well, Lance needs to worry about himself and keep his mouth shut.” I pick up my phone and send him the middle finger emoji, telling him to mind his own business. Sometimes it takes him hours or even days to respond since he’s out working on a job, but he’ll get the message.
“Don’t worry,” Monday says. “He wants to know the basics. Whether or not you’re staying busy, did you find a job, have you gotten off your ass and confessed your love for Kip yet.”
I groan, dropping my head back against the cushions of the chair. “Not that it’s everyone’s business, but I’ve already told him I love him. He knows I want to be with him and he hasn’t done anything about it.”
“Like I said,” Beck says. “He’s probably waiting on you to show him that you mean it.”
Mondo and Beck share a smile before Mondo resumes his workout on the patio. I focus on the spread of trendy shoes in my hands, but the words seem to blur together. Their opinions replay in my head and a strange niggling sensation starts to make me doubt myself. What if they’re right? What if Kip’s been waiting for me to prove that I’m in this?
I glance up and find Beck’s eyes flick over me, a meaningful smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
“Do you know something I don’t?” I demand.
“Other than the fact you’re obtuse when it comes to relationships? No.”
“Funny.”
“Listen,” she says, giving me her full attention. “You see that man right there?” She points to Mondo doing crunches. “He’s never told me he loves me. But I don’t need him to, because he shows me every day that he does. Words are great and all, but they don’t mean anything if you don’t back them up.”
Emotions clog my throat and I force them down with a swallow. “What if he doesn’t want to be with me?”
She shrugs. “Then you’ll know you did everything you could to make it work. You said it yourself, you can live without him.”
I nod, agreeing with her. I’ve been delaying the inevitable. At some point, Kip and I will either move on together, or apart, but we can’t stay in limbo forever.
“I’m going to go,” I say vaguely as I stand.
Mondo shoots me a salute. “We’ll be here when you get back.”
Beck winks at me and it’s their way of saying they’ll be here for me no matter what. Somehow, I’ve found friends who love me despite my stubbornness and I couldn’t be more grateful. My phone dings and I read Lance’s reply, which is basically him telling me to fuck off with a random eggplant emoji he uses just to be annoying.
For the first time in my life, I finally get a cab driver that understands my need for urgency and I tip him well once we arrive to the hiking trail. I take the amateur trail just because it’s the quickest. There’s a lot of people hiking today, the weather urging people outside to enjoy it.
I’ve probably never hiked the hill quicker before and I’m slightly out of breath as I make it to the top. Once again, I didn’t prepare and bring any water but I don’t bother to stop at the spring as I head toward our spot. Kip says he comes every day but I’m not sure when exactly. It’s after lunch so there’s a chance I’ve already missed him. I debate calling him, but decide I’ll wait it out instead. I need to show him and I can’t do that over the phone.
I clear the trees and come to halt when I reach our campsite. We always nestled our tent between two, outlying trees. They stand apart from the woods, solitaire in their spots next to each other.
And someone—more accurately Kip—has strung a hammock across the expanse of space between them. I walk toward the strung rope, running my fingers over the mesh, testing its strength before I sit on it. In the middle, there’s book in a zip lock bag. It’s the latest novel from one my favorite authors. Carefully and slowly, I ease my weight onto the hammock, and let out a sigh when I swing my legs off the ground. All I can do is smile.
Mondo and Beck were right; he has been waiting for me.
I crack open the first page of the book, truly relaxing for the first time that I can remember in over a year, and begin to read. I spend the day in a mixture of absolute bliss and anxiously waiting for Kip’s arrival. I end up taking a break to get a drink of water after the thirst becomes too much. I return to the hammock, half expecting Kip to be there but remind myself to be patient when he isn’t.
I must have fallen asleep because the sound of shuffling feet across the dirt rouses me awake. It takes a few seconds, but my eyes adjust to the fading light of the sun. Sitting up, my eyes land on the sight of Kip’s figure a few feet away. He’s looking at the sunset, but he turns his attention to me when he hears me shift.
“Hey,” I say, smiling through the haze of sleep.
He smiles back. “Hey.”
“Thank you,” I say. “For the hammock and the book.”
He doesn’t speak, just nods slightly as he holds my stare.
“Do you want to sit with me?”
He hesitates for a split second before carefully rocking his weight into the sling with me. We nearly tip but we shift our weight in the nick of time to prevent catastrophe, laughing once we get it under control. There’s no way not to be plastered next to each other and he sweeps an arm underneath my head to get comfortable.
“You smell like motor oil.”
He sniffs his shirt, cringing. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“I like it,” I say.
He looks at me, a sense of peacefulness in his eyes. “That’s weird.”
I laugh and a real smile peaks out from his lips. “It’s…comforting,” I say, smiling at him.
Holding my stare for a split second longer, he uses the arm under my head to wrap around my shoulders and pull me closer to him. He sniffs my hair and I can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks. “I’ve missed your smell too.”
His confession sends a jolt of endorphins through my system and I breathe through the onslaught of emotions. “I want to be with you, Kip. I know I can do better this time. I can love you like you deserve to be.”
It seemed impossible, but he pulls me even closer. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you loved me, Kaley. It was the way you tried not to love me that was the hard part.”
I look up at him, adoring the way his lashes make the best backdrop to the blue of his eyes in this light. I feel an urge to convince him how good we can be together. “I can make you happy.”
“Kaley, falling in love with you was painful—excruciatingly so—but it was also the happiest I’ve ever been.” He brushes my hair out of the way and places a kiss to my lips. I’m too stunned to reciprocate at first. “You make me happy,” he says against my lips.
“I’m sorry I made it so difficult,” I say, ready for the feel of his lips on mine this time when we kiss.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I have a feeling this time is going to be even better.”
Marlon, without a doubt you pulled triple duty while I worked relentlessly to finish this book. You never once complained and every day you encouraged me to do whatever I needed to pursue my dreams. You're with me every step of the way, and there's no way I could do this without you. Thank you, once again, for proving to me that there is a such thing as unconditional love.
Alici
a, thank you for being the most supportive friend. You're my sounding board for everything and you always give the best advice even when you're busy or stressed out. Everyone deserves an Alicia. I don't know what I've done to deserve such a kickass friend.
Murphy at Indie Solutions, thank you for your patience and allowing me to cram this manuscript in last minute. You still managed to do everything last minute and during a huge life-changing decision. I know no one would put up with me like you do. I can't think of anyone I'd trust more on editing my work and who can make me laugh through the horrendous task of edits.
And Kristin, too. You're the best proofreader. I don't know how you do it, but you make edits mildly tolerable.
Sara, thank you for believing in me to make this book happen. Sometimes God puts the right people in your life and you are one of them for me. You help me in more ways than one and I love your face. I will also officially retire "creamy thigh sauce." At least, until you miss it and ask me to bring it back. Until then...
Portia, you are literally the best. I could go on and on about how much you do for my sanity, but I know how you are with feelings so I'll keep it short. We'll be best friends when we meet, I'm sure of it.
CeeCee, thank you for loving me enough to tolerate me. You always give a different insight to my stories and I seriously value your opinion so much. It's why I kept asking you to beta and you came through for me even though you were hesitant.
Wendi, thank you SO FREAKING MUCH for fitting me in last minute. You're a lifesaver and my saving grace on this one.
Elaine, thank you for always catering to my last-minute changes and doing ARCs at the drop of a dime.
Dani, thank you for beta-ing the switching of POVs and encouraging me to move forward with the concept. I'm positive I wouldn't have stuck with it if you hadn't insisted it was good.
Mom, for supporting me in my pursuit of writing even though it has tons of cuss words and sex scenes. I love you too.
ALL MY PEEPS IN THE BACK. That's my BSers who would take forever to thank by name. Every. Single. One. Of you complete me. When no one else gets it, y'all do.
And thank you to everyone who has read my work. There's a lot of books out there. A LOT. So the fact you picked mine means the world. Thank you:)
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