by E. M. Knight
She gasps. Then she glares at me. “Garbage? That’s what you consider this conversation?”
“We’re going in circles,” I say shortly. “I can’t take this anymore. Tell me what you want, or be done with it!”
I fly to her and grab her by both arms.
“Look,” I begin.
But then a flash of blue light explodes out from her, and I’m sent throttling back.
“Don’t you dare,” she screams. “Don’t you dare presume you can touch me!” She raises her arms, and a harsh wind fills the room. “You forget your new place, Raul,” she screams. “You forget that I am no longer your captive. I am your Queen!”
I shield my eyes against the onslaught of wind. I have no idea what prompted this—any of this—but I will not simply take it anymore.
Even if she is stronger. Even if she can do magic. Even if she is the Queen.
“Look at yourself!” I yell over the gale. “Look what you’re doing. Look what you’re saying. Why?”
“I don’t have to listen to you!” she screeches. “I don’t have to do anything I don’t want, I am monarch. I am the ruler, my word will be law!”
And then, she seems to realize her hysteria. The wind stops. Her arms drop. The glow of magic winks out.
For the tiniest flash of a second, I see the girl I first brought to The Haven in her gaze.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
I look at her and try not to give any of my concern away.
Eleira sags back. “It’s so heavy, Raul,” she whispers. She touches the crown on top of her head. “I feel the weight of all my responsibilities so deeply.”
“What if it’s that?” I say, very softly, careful not to set her off again. “What if the crown itself is corrupt? What if being ruler of this coven changes you?”
She picks the crown up with one hand. She drops it on the floor.
It skitters away.
“You may be right,” she continues. Her voice is totally desolate. “Something is there. Something is changing me. It’s not the crown. But something is taking away my humanity. I feel it being lost.”
“You’re frightened,” I say.
She shakes her head. “No. It’s not that. But I am… lost.”
“You don’t have to be,” I tell her. “I’ve been here for centuries. I know our coven. I can help, if you let me.”
“I’m trying,” she whispers. “It’s hard. Do you know what Felix said while you were away?”
“Tell me.”
“He said that Phillip didn’t kill all the humans. He told me that most of them are still alive. Because he went there and gave them a drop of his blood.”
My eyebrows go up. “But that’s great news!”
“Is it?” she asks. “Now it’s in my hands whether I let them live or not. It’s up to me what to do with them. And do you know what my first impulse was?”
I shake my head.
“I wanted to burn them,” she whispers. “I wanted to burn them all. They did nothing to me. They are the victims of our cruelty. And I wanted to kill them, simply because they’ve done nothing to deserve our blood.”
I take a deep breath. I have to approach this carefully.
“The thing is, Eleira,” I say. “You cannot be indiscriminate. There is a right and a wrong. The victim card… that’s not dependent on truth. Everybody and everything can be a victim of something else. Evil, true evil? It is a victim of good, when good sets out to destroy it. So do we forego all rationality and common sense, while we fall prey to the false song of indiscrimination?”
I shake my head. “No. And as the ruler, it is your right to make those choices. I promised the villagers I would protect them. What Phillip did caused me to fail. But even I will not fault you for deciding that they must die. Because, you’re right: the vampire gift is too precious to just be given away.”
She looks at me for a long moment, idle in thought. “Somehow, that actually makes sense.”
I risk a smile. “So finally I’ve said something right.”
She cracks a small smile and nods.
“So tell me why you said you cannot go outside.”
“It’s just a feeling I have,” she tells me. “A sort of premonition. I’m afraid that Morgan cast some sort of inverted spell out there. One that I cannot see, one that I am totally blind to. I’m afraid she did it as insurance in case she failed.”
“You think she set a trap?”
She nods. “It makes sense for her to have a contingency plan. Just like I did, with the goblet and Felix and all that...”
“What do the things above ground have to do with it?” I ask. “I’m not doubting you. I really want to know.”
“Well. Seeing the moon the way you did does mean there is a spell active. The dog, the beast, the animal? I don’t know what that is. But if you say you felt its power, I’m not going to take its arrival lightly.”
“Can’t I go and scope out the grounds for you?” I ask. “You tell me what to look for, and it stays between you and me, no one else. The guards don’t have to know what you suspect. Nobody else does. Nobody has to see you afraid, or conflicted, or tepid.”
She shakes her head. “If Morgan set a trap, it can only be triggered by a witch. Remember… remember what happened to me in Cierra’s lair when I was a girl.”
“What about Phillip?” I ask. “He can do magic. Couldn’t we use him as bait?”
I hate how cruel that sounds, but rather him than Eleira.
“What, you want to throw him out to the wolves? I blocked him. He can’t protect himself. If his presence does trigger something, he’ll be completely vulnerable.”
“But we cannot risk you,” I say, in all seriousness. “I cannot risk you. The vampires of this coven can’t risk you.”
“Which is why we have this dilemma,” she says softly.
“What do you think is the worst Mother could have done?” I ask.
“After what she and Phillip attempted to do to me and you?” Eleira says sadly, “There’s no way to tell. Before—before her transformation in The Paths, before she corrupted her youngest son, I had some idea of what she was capable of. Of how far she was willing to go. But that experience changed all that.”
“You asked me to tell our vampires to gather,” I say. “Do you want me to take that back? We shouldn’t be doing anything until we know what can happen to you.”
She shakes her head. “I told you to do that so I wouldn’t be able to back out,” she says. “Now there are real expectations from our coven. How would they look upon a Queen who failed on her very first promise?”
“You haven’t failed…” I begin.
“Because I’m committed,” she says. “No. I’m going through with it. Now. Tonight. The vampires of The Haven have waited too long for the wards. They need to go back to their regular lives. The fire that ravaged the village when I was first caught, the destruction of the castle—all of that is my fault. I have to make things right.”
“The fire was me,” I say. “You know that, right? I set it as a distraction to give you time to get away.”
She gives a grim, humorless smile. “I know. Even from the start you were going against prophecy to protect me.”
“I did not want you thrust into the midst of something you could not handle.”
She starts to protest, but I continue over her, “Although I know you can handle it all now.”
Finally, she gives me a genuine smile. “Thank you.”
“So, now do you want to do this?” I ask. “I can get Felix and whoever else you want. There are vampires on your side in both the Incolam and the Elite. All have seen you crowned. Nobody can deny that.”
“Funny you mention Felix,” she says. “He thought I could not count on any vampire in full, except the would-be ones who might be made from the villagers he saved.”
I frown. “That’s not correct,” I say. “The factions that went against M
other were small and bound by weak alliances. You know they never did it openly. Your rule has been accepted. We were all prepared for it, from the moment Mother made her announcement of your coming.”
She regards me for a long, solemn moment. “I wonder,” she says. “How you can have so little remorse about what happened.”
I blink. “What do you mean?”
“Your Mother is dead,” she says. “Dead at my hands. And you show no anger toward me for that. No mourning.”
“I don’t have time to mourn,” I say brashly. “As for her dying at your hands? You said it wasn’t so. You told all the vampires that when you put on the crown.”
“I still feel responsible,” she says in a small voice.
“Don’t,” I tell her strongly. I walk up to her and take her hands.
Last time I tried this, it backfired… but I’m not getting the sense that I’ll elicit the same reaction now.
She doesn’t pull away.
“You mean that?” she asks genuinely.
“With all my heart,” I tell her. “The last few days exposed me to whom my Mother really was. At the very least, to whom she had become. She lost all the good in her.”
I sniff. “Not that there was much to begin with. But what she attempted with you sickens me. The only regret I have is that I was not in possession of the strength needed to help. But do I regret that she’s gone?” I pause and look deeply into Eleira’s eyes. “No. Not at all.”
“That’s a very cold assessment,” she mutters.
I hitch my shoulders. “It’s in our nature to be cold. You are the only vampire I’ve met who is different.”
She shies away a little bit.
“But I’m not, Raul,” she tells me softly. “I’m not. Whatever good you see in me has also been abdicated. I am losing the humanity you so deeply value. I feel it slipping away.”
“No,” I tighten my grip on her hands. “Never say that, Eleira. I know it isn’t true. You’ve gone through the fastest transformation from human to vampire that I’ve ever seen. To become one so strong, so very powerful, while still retaining all the human qualities you have is remarkable.
“The speed of a transformation determines the strength of the darkness inside us,” I continue. “That darkness is one and the same as the vampiric ether, the bleak nature that makes us who we are. You were exposed to tremendous amounts of it, and yet it did not overpower your humanitarian traits.”
“And what are those?” she asks wryly.
“Compassion. Empathy. Kindness. An ability to see through others’ eyes. You are not the self-obsessed creature the rest of us have become. You are devoted to good, if only because it has not been stripped away from you.”
“So are you saying I’m… fully formed?” she asks softly. “That I am now locked into who I have become? The strength I have now is permanent?”
“Not at all,” I tell her. “Vampires always get stronger over time. What I am saying is that you have already survived the worst. What’s more, you did it when you were least prepared. If you have maintained your moral compass up to this stage, nothing can force it away from you. Your development from here on in relies only on you. The force coaxing you to darkness has already exerted its full effect.”
She gives a grim, small smile. She unclasps her hands from mine and walks a few steps closer to the obsidian orb on the floor.
“You sound so certain about that,” she says. “I wish I could believe you.”
“Why don’t you?” I ask.
“Because it’s too perfect,” she sighs. “It’s too fantastical. I don’t think I’ll ever stop struggling against the vampiric urges. You know how they haunt me.”
“You are able to contain them,” I say. “That is the thing of most importance.”
“Maybe,” she says. “For now.”
“For now and forever,” I correct.
“What about you?” she asks. “When that awful cut in your leg would not heal. Weren’t you falling for it, then?” Her eyes pierce into mine. “Weren’t you succumbing to the darkness there, five hundred odd years since you were made?”
“The darkness is always there,” I tell her. “It does make us who we are. What I’m trying to say is that the extent of its control is up to you. So you can tame it. You are not a slave to its whims.”
“You put too much faith in me,” she whispers.
“All of The Haven’s vampires need to trust you now.”
“I haven’t done anything to earn it.”
“I disagree. But even if you feel that way, it doesn’t matter. You have that trust. What you do to keep it is what matters.”
“Maybe,” she says.
“Don’t let it be a burden, Eleira. It is a gift.”
She smiles. “Perhaps.” She walks over to pick up the glass orb. She hefts it in her hand. “I think I’m ready to finally face the music,” she says.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Dagan
The Crypts
I come to on a hard surface and gasp. I instantly jolt upright.
I look around, confused. Immediately, I recognize the space as my apartment.
I don’t know what I’m doing here.
There’s an odd pressure just beneath my clavicle. I look down at my chest and see nothing. I touch the skin. It is as smooth as it’s ever been.
How did I get here?
For the life of me I can’t remember. The last thing that springs to mind is me directly disobeying the King’s order and letting Riyu escape. Then, I went to seek out The Ancient to heal the wound on my back…
Wound? I feel nothing!
Slowly, gingerly, I reach around and slip a hand under my shirt. I feel my back.
The skin is perfect. No scars, no wound, no pain.
Incredible.
In a bit of a daze, I stand up. Had I succeeded in petitioning The Ancient for his blood? I must have. But why… why can I not remember?
Looks like Riyu’s suspicion about the inability of vampire blood to repair damage that bad was unfounded.
I look around the room. Everything is meticulously organized.
A growl forms in my throat. Usually, I don’t keep things this orderly. That means one of the maids must have come in, despite my absolute command for them not to.
But with whom do I take up the grievance? I snort a laugh. The King would kick me out of the coven, or maybe behead me, if I came to him with a complaint like that.
Especially, if he suspects I failed him as I have.
Could The Ancient have brought me here? That’s possible. Reaching back and trying to pull the memory of how I arrived in this room is like trying to catch sunlight in a bottle.
Most likely an affliction of the damage I suffered, I tell myself.
How much time has passed with me here? Quickly, I scan my surroundings, testing for any vampires nearby.
I’m surprised when I feel that most, if not all, of the rooms are occupied. That only happens during the day, when vampires retreat to their apartments while the sun is up.
How have I awoken, then?
Strong vampires can resist the drowsiness that comes with the rising of the sun, but once even the strongest of vampires is asleep, it is impossible to break the spell until nightfall.
None of this sits well with me.
I hurry to the closet and change into a fresh set of clothes. I strap on my belt and hook a weapon at my side. On no more than a whim, I decide to line the inside of my boots with daggers.
Always helps to have some hidden weapons on hand.
When I am fully outfitted, I leave the room. I find the hall eerily quiet.
If the sun is truly up, which it must be, there is no need for me to take extra precautions sneaking around. All of The Crypts is asleep during the day. It is very rare for our vampires to resist the call of rest, no matter if they are able to.
My first impulse is to go seek out The Ancient and ask him what he can tell me of what happened. But, of course, the l
ocation of The Ancient’s resting place is heavily guarded. I’m not even sure Logan knows.
Because if it weren’t, there would always be the temptation for our coven vampires to ambush him in his sleep and drain more of his precious blood.
So, with that ridiculous proposition behind me, I set out to find some other purpose.
I wander around aimlessly for some time. In truth, I am stalling. I know it won’t be long before the King discovers Riyu’s escape. Of course, at that point I’ll either be sent on his trail… or accused of the treason I am guilty of.
But of course, there is one more possibility…
Beatrice.
I have not yet forgotten about her. Even if the King is content to let her go, I am not. The things she created in the dungeons were hideous.
What else is the woman capable of?
I need to find her. Of course, for that, I will need Riyu’s help. He is the best tracker in the entire coven, for better or for worse.
I just wish he did not have that vile perversion…
But that, unfortunately, cannot be helped.
You sure did a great job picking your allies, Dagan, I think sourly.
And yet, the truth is, I did not have any other choice. Riyu has the unique ability to cast magic. Despite the corrosive nature of that force, he has proved himself reliable.
I have enough strength to match two or three regular vampires. So choosing one of my other soldiers to assist me would give me small additional advantage. I need somebody with a unique ability… and Riyu gives me exactly that.
I reach the top level of the underground palace. One more slanting hallway up, and I will be outside.
My skin tingles with the premonition of the rays that await me there.
I head for the exit anyway. Letting Riyu escape, rather than fulfilling my sworn duty, was a choice I made on my own. The consequences of that are to be borne by me and me alone.
Besides. I trust no other vampire here to side with me against the madness of the King. If it comes to that.
“And so the greatest warrior becomes the greatest deserter,” I mutter to myself.
I reach the exit. I can see little streams of light running in the cracks around the formidable stone slabs.