by Selena Kitt
“This is ridiculous,” he said, glaring at the Grand Viceroy. “We don’t know where K went. We don’t have any idea where she...”
He trailed off. Where had K gone? If it wasn’t to purge herself then...
Suddenly the last words she’d said to him seemed to echo in his head.
“Don’t worry, Boone—I don’t ever expect to see you again but I keep my promises.”
But what promise had she been talking about? She’d sworn over and over to kill him but here he was, still alive. So what...
Shayla! She promised to help me rescue Shayla!
The realization burst over him along with a wave of relief. He knew where K was headed—at least, he thought he did. If they could only get to their ship to follow her—
The Grand Viceroy snapped the scroll closed and smiled at Boone most unpleasantly.
“What you know and do not know is for the Empress to decide, giant.” He nodded at the captain of the guards. “Take them to the throne room. I believe her majesty has a few questions to ask.”
Chapter Twenty-three
K steered the Purist ship she’d stolen from the Erian royal docks out of orbit and straight for Midas. She wasn’t the least bit afraid of being discovered—the emo-dampers being pumped into her by her suit took care of any kind of irrational fear she might be tempted to feel.
Well, most of it anyway.
Because, deep down in the pit of her stomach, K still felt a twinge of unease. And for some reason, whenever she thought of Boone, her throat got tight and her eyes stung.
It’s just because my suit isn’t fully healed yet, she told herself uneasily. Or maybe it was because the suit had been calibrated to her body before the hormone surge she’d experienced. Before she had changed so drastically.
She looked down at herself, frowning at her breasts and hips under the suit’s black webbing. She had taken some strips of cloth and bound them around her chest to try and contain her curves but there was no disguising the fact that she was no longer the flat, sexless creature she’d been when last she’d worn the suit.
It doesn’t matter, K told herself. I’ll be in and out before anyone has time to notice. And I’ll be wearing my cowl the entire time to hide my eyes and face—no one will even know it’s me. She hoped, anyway. She assumed that by this time, she and her entire purge squadron would have been declared dead. Hopefully she could simply dock on Midas, extract Boone’s little sister, and walk out again with complete anonymity.
And then what?
Then I’ll drop her off on Colossus and... but there K’s thoughts ended. She ought to purge herself when her mission was done but somehow even with the suit on, she didn’t want to do that. I suppose I could join the Tainted, she thought doubtfully. The idea, once so repulsive to her, was gaining some appeal in her mind. She liked the idea of being with others who valued cold logic over emotion. After all, she’d allowed herself the luxury of feeling and look where it had gotten her—she’d allowed herself to have feelings for Boone and he’d disappointed her, abandoned her when she needed him most.
That’s not fair, whispered a little voice in the back of her head. He said he just wanted you to be safe because he loved you. There was nothing he could do for you to stop your cycle—not without more time to work on the problem.
Well, he could have all the time he wanted now—time without her. K was determined never to see him again, not because she was angry—even with her stomach twisted in knots, she refused to believe she could feel such a strong emotion while wearing her suit. No, she would never see Boone again because she could never take the suit off for the rest of her life. It was the only thing controlling her hormone surge—holding her back from becoming a sexual beast of prey. She couldn’t put Boone in danger like that. As hard as it was to admit, she still cared for him. Still... loved him? K still didn’t know what that meant and now she would never get to find out.
Never again. I’ll never see him again.
The thought brought an abrupt stab of agony—like someone twisting a knife in her guts. K gasped and doubled over, a hand going to her flat midsection. What the hell was happening? Was her body rejecting the suit? Was she in danger because of the abrupt interruption of her cycle as Boone had feared?
“I’m fine,” K said out loud. She forced herself to stand upright, ignoring the stabbing pain in her gut and the way her muscles trembled and clenched. So what if she was having a reaction to her skinsuit? Who cared if it killed her? K didn’t. Though she didn’t want to purge herself, she wasn’t afraid to die. All she wanted was to complete this one mission, to bring Boone’s little sister to safety. And after that...
“If I die, I die,” she muttered through clenched teeth. She stared at the ship’s controls, trying to focus on her mission. Even with the hyperdrive engaged, Midas was a few days’ journey away. She wished she could make the trip faster but there was no way. She would have to endure the pain... and the recurring thoughts of Boone.
K didn’t know which was worse—the physical agony from her suit or the emotional anguish of knowing she would never see the man she’d allowed herself to care for again.
“Are you sure she was going after Shayla?” Loki demanded for what had to be the hundred and twelfth time since they had finally gotten off Eros.
“Positive,” Boone growled, looking up from his physioscope. “Look, can you just pilot the ship and leave me the hell alone? I’m trying to concentrate here and we’re already running behind thanks to the Empress sweating us for so long.”
“At least she let you go,” Rolf offered. Loki’s new touch partner refused to be parted from the other Erian for any reason. Boone had reluctantly agreed to take the man along although he felt sure Rolf would just be dead weight. And he might end up just plain dead—they all might. Boone still had no idea what he was going to do. He only knew he had to find K and Shayla, hopefully while both of them were still alive.
“Yes, she let us go all right, but only after Boone here had made it apparent that Princess Paladin had humped him and dumped him,” Loki said. “Which is why we’re taking evasive maneuvers now to throw off any tails.” He looked at his instruments. “Not that it looks like we have any. The Empress must have bought the love ‘em and leave ‘em routine K pulled pretty well.”
“Poor Boone.” Mom, who had been standing silently at the NavCom, put a consoling hand on his elbow.
“I’m fine,” Boone gritted out, repressing the urge to shake her hand off. After all, she was only trying to comfort him. “But K won’t be unless we can find her soon. I don’t like to think of what that damn suit might be doing to her.”
“I think we’ve gone far enough out of our way to throw the Empress off our scent,” Mom said, going back to the NavCom. “Should I set a course for Midas now?”
“Yes, although the Goddess only knows what we’re going to do once we get there,” Loki muttered. “How the hell we’re going to get into a whole nest of Purists when Boone’s pet Paladin has flown the coop is beyond me.”
“Wait—we’re going to Midas?” Rolf looked surprised and a little worried. “Seriously?”
Boone blew out a breath in frustration. “Yes, we’re going to Midas where my sister is being held and where we believe K has gone to rescue her. Haven’t you been listening this whole time?”
“I was distracted.” Rolf ran one hand lovingly over Loki’s narrow shoulders. “So anyway, what’s the plan? How do we get in?”
Loki shook his head. “Don’t know, lover boy. I guess we’re just going to fly to the fringes of Purist air space and hope we see K before the friendly neighborhood purge squad blasts us out of the sky.”
“Oh, okay.” Rolf shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“And how exactly are you going to help?” Boone growled, unable to stop himself. “Unless you’re planning to keep Loki happy right up until the bitter end, that is. I really can’t imagine any other function you cou
ld possibly serve aboard this ship.”
“Boone...” Loki frowned at him. “Come on, big boy—no need to go into total bitch mode on my new man.”
“Sorry,” Boone muttered. “I’m just worried.”
“We all are,” Mom said softly. “It’s natural.”
“It’s okay,” Rolf said, obviously not offended. “I know it’s a stressful situation and I don’t know anything about piloting a ship or whatever else it is you’re, uh, doing...” He gestured to the delicate array of instruments Boone had spread out before him. “But I do know some people. So you know...”
“Yeah, sure,” Boone muttered. “I’ll keep it in mind.” He had no idea what Loki’s new boy toy was talking about and he didn’t care. All he could think about was K and Shayla... but mostly K. With the suit interrupting her cycle, the chemical suppressants fighting with the hormone surges, she could be in dire straits right now. If he couldn’t find a way to help her... but he didn’t let himself think about that. Instead, he gathered up some of the larger pieces of equipment and headed for his room.
“Hey, where are you going?” Loki called. “I thought you wanted to be up here with me so you could get any updates immediately.”
“Call me if you find something... or someone,” Boone instructed. “I was wrong—I can’t work in here. I need some peace and quiet.”
“Will do, big boy.” Loki sketched a little salute. “Have fun.”
“Right.” Fun was the last thing on Boone’s mind. The only thing he wanted was to have something to help K when they found her... if they found her in time.
Chapter Twenty-four
“Purist ship nine-one-seven-seven dash fourteen-M requesting a docking position,” K said through gritted teeth into the comlink. The stabbing pains in her lower abdomen and pelvis were getting worse as her suit tried to contain and control the hormonal surges of her cycle. Days of the grinding, stabbing pain had worn her down but she refused to take it off or to give in to the agony that wanted to consume her.
I can take it, she told herself sternly. I’ve had worse. I just have to see this mission to its completion and then I can end it if I have to. If there’s no other way...
Honestly, death was beginning to seem like a viable option. The pain had been unremitting through her entire journey to Midas and it seemed to be getting worse. K had caught herself thinking several times it would be better to purge herself than to live with this level of suffering anymore. But she had business to attend to first.
“Fourteen-M?” The person in the control tower sounded like he might be frowning. “That is an older class of ship. Where did you come from?”
“Long range maneuvers in the Nirobian sector,” K rapped back. “Docking position?”
Her stern, no-nonsense tone seemed to decide the controller.
“You can dock in Q quadrant, row thirteen, behind the control area.”
“Agreed,” K said, striving to keep her voice neutral. The berth he had assigned her meant she would have to go through the control area to get to the mines—not optimal. But she couldn’t think of a good enough reason to ask for a spot right beside the mines, not when she was in so much pain it was difficult to even stay upright. She would just have to manage. Hopefully she could walk through with her cowl on and no one would question her.
She docked in slot thirteen and took a few minutes to set a return course into the ship’s autopilot. She didn’t want to waste a minute getting out of here or have to think about navigation if things went wrong. All she would have to do was flip the engage switch and the stolen Purist ship would be up and away—headed for orbit around Colossus the minute the hyperdrive came online.
Satisfied with her preparations, K forced herself to stand upright. Invisible spikes dug into her lower abdomen but she ignored them and straightened her shoulders. Then she touched the pressure tab behind her right ear. Immediately the cowl of her skinsuit slid down, obscuring her face and hiding the damning evidence of her gold ringed eyes which days in the skinsuit had been unable to change back to black. No one seeing those eyes could mistake her for anything but Erian but K didn’t intend for anyone to see them. She was keeping the cowl in place the entire time, going in hard and fast and leaving the same way.
She checked herself for hidden weapons—a few sharp blades stashed in various places around her suit—and wished for her plasma gauntlets. They were gone, however—left back on board Boone’s ship. Even if she’d had them, she couldn’t have used them. Her mind was far too chaotic now, she would never be able to control them again. Well, she didn’t intend to blast her way out, anyway. If things went according to plan, she would slip in and then slip back out again with Shayla in tow, completely unnoticed.
“Time to go,” she muttered under her breath. Sensing her readiness for combat, her skinsuit dug its needles into her arms and K waited for the cool wash of nothingness that always followed. It didn’t come. Either she was too far gone into contamination to ever commune with Purity again or her suit simply couldn’t cope with her body’s changing needs. Whichever it was, it was clear K was on her own.
Taking a deep breath, she hit the hatch release and stepped out into the frigid Midas atmosphere. The pshalite-rich planetoid was at the far end of the solar system’s temperate zone, ensuring that it was always freezing. In the past, K’s suit would have protected her from the worst of the chill or else injected her with enough blockers and dampers to keep her from caring that she was cold. But now she felt every icy gust of wind as it swirled around her, bring the distinctive spicy tang of pshalite to her nose even through her cowl.
Keeping her head high, she marched forward, refusing to shiver or wrap her arms around herself. Purity but she wished her suit’s chemicals still worked on her! It was harder than she’d thought, pretending to be what she once was when all she wanted to do was curl on her side and give in to the pain.
I will not give in, K told herself grimly. I am still a fourth level Paladin—I fear nothing, I feel nothing. Lifting her chin, she strode up to the command center door and waited for it to scan her suit’s internal sensors and let her in.
There was a long pause as though the door was having trouble reading her suit—long enough for the armed guard to look at her appraisingly. K couldn’t see his eyes—they were hidden by the eyeshades built into his sleek silver helmet. But his finger stroked lightly over the trigger of his blaster as he watched her.
K had a moment of panic which she repressed sternly. She forced herself to stand steady and still, completely immobile and yet relaxed, seemingly at ease, portraying a Paladin’s infinite patience when faced with adversity. At last, the vast, thick metal panel, which was twice as high as she was tall, slid to one side, granting her entry.
The guard on duty waved her through with a nod. K ignored the gesture and stalked inside, listening as the door slid shut with a muffled booming clang behind her.
Inside she paused in the small dark entryway that led to the main corridor and allowed herself a single deep breath. It was warmer in the control center and she was out of the biting wind but this was the most dangerous part of her journey. She had to walk through the large center to the mines, hoping all of the officers and higher ranking officials who lived and worked on Midas wouldn’t notice or question her. Once out in the mines, K was confident she could find Shayla—she’d seen Boone’s holo-picture of her often enough she was certain she could recognize her easily. It was getting through the control center that worried her.
You’re wasting time. Get on with it!
Squaring her shoulders, she stepped out into the busy main corridor. Striding confidently, she fell in line behind two minor officials who were speaking some kind of corporate finance jargon. To her left, several higher ranking officials passed by and then a pair of Sage-kind—the priests of Purity—swept past, their long black robes trailing. A squadron of Paladins, all wearing skinsuits jogged by in the opposite direction. K’s heart seemed to catch in her chest but still she k
ept on walking.
Everywhere she saw black-on-black eyes and heard the quiet, emotionless speech of those fully devoted to Purity. In the past she would have thought nothing of it. Now her heart ached at the familiar sights and sounds.
I don’t belong here anymore, she thought as she strode briskly along, head up and shoulders back. Maybe I never did. She remembered waking up in Boone’s arms and falling asleep beside him, remembered hearing his voice in her ear low and soothing saying he loved her, remembered feeling warm and comforted and safe. She had traded all this—the life of a rising Paladin—for those few, brief days, for those tender, forbidden emotions.
K couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
Boone, she thought as she marched along, just another faceless, anonymous part of the crowd where she no longer belonged, Boone, I’ll do my best for you. I’ll get Shayla back to you even if it kills me.
A sharp turn off the main corridor brought her to the entrance of the mines. They were deep underground, reachable only by a pneumatic lift at the end of the short hallway. K pressed the button for the ground floor and stepped aboard. She was relieved to be the only passenger—the moment alone in the lift gave her a brief respite from her façade.