by RMGilmour
I traced the white writing on the blue cover and then opened it, slowly turning the pages. It was printed in the same format that mine had been, except he’d placed the poems on the pages in the order that I remember reading them to him, starting with my favorites. They were now forever at the beginning of the book.
“Thank you,” I whispered, and leaned my head closer to his, seeking his mouth. I closed my eyes and melted into him, his scent entering me as I gently gasped back air. I wanted that moment, that kiss to never end. But it did. He wrapped his arms around me, held me close and told me to sleep.
I let myself drift off, my book held close to my chest, but with several questions, one or two rather pressing ones, burning in the back of my mind. I was too tired anyway to fight to stay awake and he looked like he needed sleep as much as I did, so I let it go, certain that those questions would still be there when I awoke.
However, only one of them stayed with me and only because it was the most obvious one.
And when I opened my eyes again I was facing him, still safe in his arms. It felt more like a dream than reality. I had wanted this for so long, to be with him night and day, to wake up next to him, to have his face be the first image before me each morning.
I remembered he’d given me a gift earlier, but my book was no longer in my hand and I wondered if that part had been a dream, or if I’d simply lost it amongst the covers as I’d slept. But I didn’t want to move, I only wanted to watch him sleep.
He smiled when he opened his eyes, seeing mine stare back at him, and I felt his essence travel around me once more, wrapping me in his warmth and protection.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
“Hi,” was all I could manage. My stomach was all in knots, but this time for a good reason. I tilted my chin toward his and felt his lips meet mine.
“Look up,” he said.
I did, and I saw green sails stretched amongst the tree branches, blowing gently with the breeze.
“We’re in our tree-house?”
“Of course,” he smiled, but I noticed his smile was not quite as happy as it once was.
“What happened to me?”
“You don’t remember?”
“I do but,” I wasn’t sure how to phrase my question without sounding too morbid. “Did I die?” I breathed the words.
His expression turned to dismay and froze. He pulled me tight against his chest, burying his face in my hair. I couldn’t feel him breathe.
“Yes,” he finally exhaled.
I pulled one arm free from his hold and ran it around his waist, holding him to me.
“Your heart stopped,” he quietly added.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Then wondered who or what I was now. “Jordan,” I had to know. “Was I inserted?”
I felt his groan begin deep in his chest before it escaped his mouth, and I feared the worst.
He pulled back several inches to look at me.
“No, you weren’t.”
“But I died…”
“If you had been inserted,” he began, bringing one hand up to my face. “You would not still have this.” And he gently stroked my cheek. “I was with you the whole time. Haize brought you back and I brought you here. I haven’t left your side.”
He pulled me back into him again, holding me tighter.
“Promise me something,” he whispered.
“Anything.”
“Never do that again.”
“I never will.”
“Promise,” he urged.
“I promise to never be the bait on their hunt, nor even go hunting with them.”
I had no trouble making that promise. I had no intentions of ever doing that again. Brief flashes of the pain stole their way through my mind, but I pushed them back, locking them away, refusing to let them take away even a moment’s calm with Jordan.
We lay in each other’s arms, not talking, not moving, only listening to the wind rustle the branches and sweep across the sails. I released the warmth within me enough to radiate across my skin, and it settled in gentle, rippling waves, no longer trying to force its way out, but instead accepting the slight merging with his.
Pulling my attention away from the feeling, I remembered the book he’d given me and wondered if it had just been a dream.
“Jordan?”
“Hm, hmm?” he sounded sleepy.
“Did you give me a book at some point, or was that a dream.”
“You weren’t dreaming.”
“Hmm,” I sighed.
“Why?”
“I think I lost it.”
“You lost my first gift to you?” he tried to sound shocked, teasing me.
“Actually, your first gift would be the socks and shoes you generated for me and well, I’m not sure where they are right now either,” I admitted, stroking one barefoot against his warm leg.
He laughed, “That doesn’t count. And if you’re going to get technical, then my first gift to you would be this, our tree house.”
I pulled myself half way on top of his chest. “No,” I told him, and placed my hand over his heart. “Your first gift to me was you.”
He smiled. This time it reached his eyes.
He gently pulled me down, and I lay my head upon his chest, listening to the sound of his heart, and the rhythm of his breathing.
“And you didn’t lose it,” he told me. “It was uncomfortably in between us so it needed to be extricated.”
“Your heart?” I joked.
He laughed. The sound pleasantly reverberated through me.
“Silly, your book.”
I was about to ask where he had extricated it to, but before I could my stomach growled.
“Hungry?”
“Guess so.”
“I’m not sure if you should stand just yet,” he said. He gently picked me up out of the bed covers and carried me to the other room, seating me on the couch.
Part of me felt uncomfortably weak at needing to be carried yet again, but even if I could stand his protective expression told me he would have carried me anyway.
It was then that I realized that I was no longer in my jeans and shirt. Instead, I was dressed in a silky white, sleeveless shirt and soft, flowing pants. They resembled my PJ‘s, though white would not have been my first choice. At least, I was comfortable. But I was curious as to who had changed my clothing, and I felt my cheeks grow warm at the thought of Jordan taking care of me that way. I was glad his back was turned when those thoughts ran through my mind.
He returned carrying a small pot of coffee and two cups which he placed upon the table behind the couch, followed by perfectly scrambled eggs and toast, and a bowl of small red, blue and purple fruit.
After we’d eaten, he cleared the table, sending everything back into the counter unit. I tried to stand, needing to visit the bathroom, and found he was right. I wasn’t yet ready for standing; my legs seemed to melt beneath me and I fell back to the couch before barely making it up.
“What did they do to me?” I complained.
He looked down at me and sighed as he picked me up, “I’m not going to tell you that, especially considering you just ate. But I’m sure Haize or Aleric eventually will. Haize has come by a few times to check on you. I think mostly to be sure I didn’t have my way with you in your sleep,” he said, his eyes sweeping over my body, then back up to my face.
I gave him a half smile, teasing him with my eyes, letting him know exactly how I felt about that idea, should he ever have the desire to do so. And I found the feeling I’d been wanting to express with him, instead of the stupid embarrassment that had previously plagued me.
“Will she be back?”
“She should be here soon,” he said, clearing his throat.
He left me in the bathroom alone, at my extreme insistence. Even though I wanted every part of him with me through every part of every day, I hadn’t quite made it to complete exposure. Tho
ugh I was glad I was alone, while in there I pushed myself up to my feet. My legs at first wobbled, but I forced them to remain steady, and I took one baby step at a time. And after several minutes, my legs seemed to understand what I needed as they found their purpose once more.
Though once my teeth and face were clean, I called for him to help me. I would be ok, but I was better in his arms.
We settled back onto the couch and he filled me in on the details of the events on the field, while waiting for Haize to arrive. He explained first the city, that I’d painted with my memories of home. The Central Unit had sensed my desire, and despite the fact that I was a stranger, it still provided where there was a need.
“That’s how I knew you were there,” he explained. “I felt it, when you entered the city. It was like everything was right. And then everything was wrong. I sensed you leave and knew I had to find you.”
“How did you know where to go?”
“Aleric had advised Mason earlier, that we should stay in the city, explaining what they were doing. He assured me Haize was going to make you stay behind, but I realized too late how involved you were.”
“Was anyone hurt?”
“The warriors lost one, despite their armor,” he said. “But the Rathe were prepared this time. They’re fast, and they work in unison.”
“Not Lena?” I breathed, knowing she was closest to the wall, and closest to the bulk of them as they’d exited the city.
“No.”
“Hello,” I heard call from outside.
“Haize,” Jordan called back. “She’s up.”
“Finally,” she said stepping into the room. “Any after effects?” she asked him, sitting beside us on the couch.
“None,” he answered.
“What do you mean, none? I’m having trouble walking,” I complained.
“That was to be expected,” she said, picking up my arm and holding my wrist. I figured she must have been feeling my pulse, but I then noticed the sheen of a skin tight, sheer glove on her hand and wondered if she was sensing or reading a whole lot more. “I’m talking about the treatment I gave you. It wasn’t meant for someone of your size.”
I thought of Aleric’s alcohol and its effects on me as opposed to everyone else in the Colony, and I understood what she meant. But that only brought back the recent memory of Castor’s attempted destruction of the food hall.
“How is Grid?” I asked point blank. “Did anything happen after we left?”
“No, he’s fine. He cleared the food hall and regenerated the furniture. It’s not the first disturbance we’ve had.”
“What happened?” Jordan asked, a protective arm slipping around my waist.
“Castor’s daughter is on our screens,” she said, explaining the screens and Castor’s explosion.
As she detailed Hera’s presence, I could feel him sigh, and I was thankful he didn’t have to live through it, only to be plagued by the humiliating knowledge that that was once us.
Though despite the relief I felt at not being in the Colony to witness more of Hera’s private moments, I hoped Grid was ok.
“He’s asked to see you daily,” Haize explained. “I told him you’re staying with me until you heal, no visitors allowed. Though he’s very worried about you.”
The guilt flowed through me. I didn’t want him to worry about me. He took on enough as it was.
“Tell him I’m fine. How much longer do we get to stay here though?” I didn’t want to think about leaving. I didn’t want to contemplate the loneliness I’d feel once we were apart again. I gently pressed back against him, and I felt his arm tighten around me.
“I think we can manage a few more days,” she smiled, not missing our subtle movements. “But you’ll need to be careful,” this she said to Jordan. “Aleric is keeping an eye on the sensors, but they’ve broken through them before.”
“Mason’s monitoring the Guardian as well,” he told her.
I didn’t want to think about the wards getting in through their fields, but it was necessary. If they should happen to bring the signals down again, we were too far from anyone to help us in any way.
And I knew that our stay would be all too short.
“I should be going. It’s too close to sunset.”
“Haize,” I said, holding her arm. “Thank you.” And I hugged her tight. “For everything.”
“Stop. Don’t thank me,” she began, and sighed. “What they did to you, does not happen to us, did not happen to Grid. I’m sorry,” she finished, and squeezed me back for several moments, then left as quietly as she came.
“A few more days,” I finally sighed, turning to him.
“I know.”
“We have to figure out a way to stay together.”
“The only way to do that is to eliminate the wards.” The swiftness with which he answered, told me he’d thought a great deal about it.
But I didn’t want any more thoughts of the wards, or the Guardian taking up another second of our time. We were alone, finally, and I wanted to be with him, every part of him.
Reaching up, I gently stroked his face and he leaned into my hand, turning to kiss my fingers. He pulled me onto his lap; his mouth was warm, welcoming mine, and I forced my legs to do what I needed them to do, planting my knees on either side of him, to face him.
He slid his hands beneath my shirt, embracing me, stroking my back, pulling me closer, holding every part of me against him. One hand trailed around my ribs and he inched me away, allowing his hand room to explore. I reached around to take his other hand, guiding it around my side, to my stomach, moving it upward as well.
His essence wound its way around me, glancing across my skin, calling me to join him. And I felt that familiar wave of warmth spread from my heart to every part of me, surging to my surface, needing to unite with him.
His hands caressing my skin, vibrated through me, breathing life into every part of me. Being this close to him, unrestrained, was more than I’d imagined it would be. I wanted more. I needed every part of me to melt into him and I quickly threw off my shirt, then reached down to remove his. He willingly complied. His hands were away from my skin for barely a second; his mouth instantly recaptured mine.
He wrapped one arm around my back, his hand holding me up as his other gently pushed me backward. His lips traced my jaw, then down my throat to my chest where they worked in unison with his free hand.
“Jordan,” my moan escaped as barely more than breath, and my hands wandered over his broad shoulders, up his neck and through his hair.
He swept me up into his arms, carried me to the other room and lay beside me on the bed, his body half on, half off of mine. The warmth inside me intensified, trembling across my skin, desperate to break free, but I didn’t want to lose myself to forces unknown. I needed to stay in this moment with him.
He ran one hand down my side to my leg, raising it up around his waist and I wrapped it around him, holding him to me. As his hand trailed back up, my free hand explored the ridges of his stomach, the strength of his chest, and I fingered the fine jagged edge of the scar that signified his unspoiled humanity.
He wrapped his arms around me once more, pulling me to him, and as his body aligned with mine, he buried his face in my hair.
His breath was ragged against my neck as he whispered, “The feel of your skin against mine is incredible.” He rose his head to look at me. “I never dreamed it would feel this way.”
“Then don’t stop,” I insisted.
“Are you sure?”
“I need you.”
The swirl of his essence around me intensified. The warmth within me trembled against my skin, needing to escape, to join with him.
My fingers lightly stroked his heated skin, down his back, around to his stomach, and then traveled down beneath his clothing.
He gasped when I touched him. His eyes slid closed as his head rolled back, and then came back to me, reclaiming my l
ips with his. He rose my arm above my head, and his hand brushed its way down my side, across my hip and between my thighs.
I pulled my mouth away from his; I couldn’t breathe and I felt myself being torn in two. My body needed to be whole in this moment with him, but inside was the other part of me. My soul. And it was desperate to leave me, to join with his in a realm unseen and unknowable, but I held on tight; it couldn’t work, being so divided inside.
But as his lips, his teeth, and his tongue worked slowly down my throat to my chest, my soul felt his summons once more.
When I no longer felt his touch upon me, I opened my eyes, but only to see him now naked, standing before me. My eyes raked over his lean, muscled form and I moaned, needing him next to me. I began to rise to join him, but he gently pushed me back down and removed the rest of my clothing.
He slid his hands up my legs, his lips following, trailing kisses and small bites. His tongue tasting me, teasing me. His one hand roving my body, the other holding me to him. He knew exactly how to touch me as though he’d known my body his whole life. He owned me and shaped me to his needs; his pleasure matching mine.
I felt one hand and then his other move over my stomach and up to my chest, then down my arms where he clasped my hands in his. His mouth teased its way to mine, as he slid his body up, then planted our linked hands firmly near my shoulders. He held his weight off me, but I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him back to me. I needed him closer, pressed against me, feeling his weight and every part of him next to me.
His face was close to mine, and I filled my lungs with his breath as he captured my gaze with his.
“My love,” he whispered, his lips brushing mine. The warmth of his essence wrapped around me, blending with that minute portion of my own that I’d allowed to escape, to feel him. The sensation filled my heart with his love, but I wanted more of him, I knew there was more. He caressed my soul, beckoning me to join him once more. “Let go,” he breathed.
My fingers unclenched and my legs relaxed their hold on him, but he whispered to me again.
“Let go,” and I knew he didn’t mean my body.
Trusting him, needing him, I released my hold upon my soul allowing it to soar from its confines, to entwine with his. He was open to me, every part of his mind, and mine opened up to him. Though there was no sound, no thought, no images, only an all-encompassing flood of feeling, of love and belonging. We ascended above all that bound us, weaving around one another, melding together.