With even the small glimpse into his world she'd been given today, she could understand how some people would fold. They pulled through the security gate and she allowed her thoughts to remain her own as she considered how she would deal with this on a daily basis. Sure he had everything money could buy, but even shopping would have to be a chore with people watching your every move, she pondered.
He slid out of his car and walked around to open her door and they kept a comfortable silence as they entered his home. Giving his chef directions for dinner, he led her into the living room, sitting down on an oversized sofa. "So what did you think about your first day at the studio?" He was trying his best to keep up the camaraderie they had shared today, but his mind was already on the night they'd spend together.
"It was amazing," feeling a little nervous about being back alone with him again, she tried to fight off her anxieties. She knew that he wanted her, and even wanting him, there was a part of her that was terrified when the time came she wouldn't be unable to go through with this.
"We should have some demos to listen to in the morning, and I think you'll be really pleased with what Simon comes up with." He could see the fear already filling her eyes, and wondered if it was wrong to want to take her in his arms and drive that away forever.
She was perched on the edge of the couch at the far end, and trying her best to focus on the conversation. "I'm sure the songs will be great," she doubted anyone working for him could be less than perfect. Was it too late to forget this crazy notion that she could be his lover, she wondered, her heart racing.
He moved down to sit closer to her, and saw her tense visibly. "I'm sure you'll make the songs great Angela," he spoke softly and made no movement to touch her. Something told him she was strung so tight if he made any move she was going to snap.
Clenching her fists, she fought the urge to stand up and move away from him. She was crazy to believe this was a possibility for them. "Nolan, I ..." she was cut off as his finger pressed against her lips softly. She was about to tell him she couldn't do this, no matter how much she wanted to discover if she had the ability to feel desire again, it was too frightening.
"I can see it in your eyes Angela, but please don't run away from me." He moved the finger that had pressed against her lips to her cheek, allowing it to softly caress her jaw bone. "What he did to you was horrible, but I promise with me you'll find nothing but pleasure." If he had to hold his own need in check all night, he was determined that she would find freedom from her fear and passion in his arms tonight. Pulling her into his arms, he held her against him. "Angela I'm asking you to trust me."
She wanted to pull out of his arms, and press herself even more tightly against him at the same time. There was a huge part of her that wanted to believe he had the capability to drive away her demons, but the scared little girl wanted to run away and not take the chance.
They were interrupted by his housekeeper informing him their dinner was ready, and Angela was thankful for a brief respite from the huge decision she needed to make. "Saved by the bell," she nervously laughed, wondering why this strong beautiful man was wasting his time on a head case like her.
"Just postponed I hope," he smiled sadly, hating the thought of what the man had done to her. She was so damned beautiful and deserved so much more than a life filled with fear and past regret. Standing up, he held out his hand and was almost surprised when she placed her own inside. He was a selfish bastard, he told himself again as he walked her into the dining room. She should be with a man that could offer her the happily ever after she deserved, not some commitment phobic like him.
She forced herself to eat a little of the food, and without a doubt in her mind the meal was delicious, but her stomach was tied in knots. Taking several deep breaths, she contemplated her choices. She could walk away and never know if she was capable of feeling anything but this overwhelming fear of sex, or take a chance and hope that Nolan had the ability to show her something beautiful was possible when two people made love.
He could tell her thoughts weren't on the food, and wished he had thought to be a little more considerate. What kind of man was he to promise to help her when his own mind was so fucked up he couldn't even fix him? "Angela if you don't want this, I promise you I'll still live up to my end of the bargain, you know that right?" He couldn't for one second let her think she was being forced into accepting his offer.
Pushing her plate away, she nodded and carefully contemplated her words. "Nolan it's not that I don't want you, if I thought I could enjoy a night in your arms without remembering every horrible thing that man did to me, I wouldn't even think twice."
"I think it's pretty obvious how much I want you," he laughed and felt more than a little self-conscious about being so honest about his needs, it was a first for him. "That being said, I find myself wanting you to be happy above everything I could desire for myself." Again, another first for him and as he spoke the words he realized how true they really were. It wasn't just about sexual gratification with her, for the first time in his life he was thinking about someone else's needs.
How could she walk away from his profession, she thought to herself, and then decided she wasn't going to. "Take me to bed, Nolan," she whispered the words softly, amazed even as she said them.
"Are you sure Angela," he didn't want to question her decision, but at the same time he refused to allow her to regret this and wanted her to be completely positive he was what she wanted.
She gave a small nod of her head, her mouth so dry now that she had given in, she doubted she could speak. When he picked her up into his arms, holding her like a child, she could only stare into his eyes dazed by the action. She held on like her life depended on it, and maybe in some ways it did. This was her defining moment, if she could let go of her fear and find pleasure in his arms then maybe there was still a part of her left that wouldn't be forever haunted by her past.
He lowered her feet to the ground after they entered his bedroom and he locked the door behind him before turning back. The sound seemed to vibrate off the walls in her mind, and she stared at him like a soul that was lost being confronted with a chance of salvation. Knowing he was no damn savior, he vowed mentally to make this the most memorable night of her life even if it took every ounce of self-control he possessed.
"So what do we do now?" She stood stiffly allowing her eyes to take in the sophisticated elegance of his room until her eyes landed on the huge mahogany bed. Biting her lip nervously she turned her eyes back to him, the fear dripping through her veins and threatening to make her bolt.
He smiled patiently and walked over to the stereo system in the wall, turning it on before walking back in front of her again. "Dance with me," holding out his arms, he enveloped her gently as she surrendered. The soothing jazz love song echoed in the room and he swayed with her, wishing he could drive her fear away.
Molded against his body as he moved, she felt some of the tension slide from her limbs. His chest against her cheek was strong and she inhaled the delightful scent that was all him with a slight hint of his cologne. She had thought he would take her to the bed immediately, but the dance was just what she needed to calm her nerves enough to not panic.
When he lowered his lips to hers, his hand resting under her chin to lift it gently, he reminded himself to go slowly. Still moving to the rhythm, his tongue joined in the dance with hers and the sweet taste of her kiss enflamed him more than any woman before her.
Her hands found their way around his neck and she allowed her mind to focus on the incredible feeling of his mouth on hers. The tender caress of his large hands splaying over her back forced a soft sigh from her lips, and he kissed her deeply. She could lose herself in this kiss she thought, her heart racing and a strange excitement moving through her body.
When the song ended she was breathless and could only stare at him in wonder. The smile he gave she returned with one of her own, amazed that he could be so tender. Stepping back, she slowly lifted
the silken tank top over her head, wanting him to know she was ready to take this further.
He glanced over the silken skin she revealed and felt awed by her trust. Every instinct told him to reach out and touch the gift she was offering, but something held him back. When she moved her trembling hands behind her to unsnap the clasp of her bra, letting it fall to the ground, his own breath caught in his throat. Her breasts were perfect, the soft full mounds and mouthwatering pale pink tips, had his body reacting instantly. He unbuttoned his own shirt and let it fall away as well.
Her eyes took in every inch of his wide bronzed chest with the slight splattering of curly hair. His thick, muscled arms, she knew would never cause her pain, he was just beautiful to gaze at. She moved to the bed sitting down, and removed her sneakers and ankle socks before standing again. With a nervous smile, her hands went to the snap of her jeans and unbuttoned, then slid the zipper down. With her eyes never leaving his, she shimmied them off her slightly rounded hips, and then stepped out of them, leaving only the tiny white-lace panties she was wearing to hide her from his view.
If he thought she was beautiful before, it compared nothing to the incredible vision before him now. He ached with a desire that floored him, to run his hands over every inch of her perfect body. From her shapely legs, to the soft flatness of her abdomen, and then those beautiful breasts that he knew would fill his hands just perfectly, he wanted all she had to give and then everything more.
He quickly removed his own shoes and pants, and stood before her, almost afraid to touch the perfection that was all Angela. His shaft strained against his boxer briefs, and for a moment he understood that he wasn't in control. Strangely enough it didn't bother him in the least that she had taken the lead here.
The coolness of the air wafted against her bare skin and she wished she had the courage to take off the last flimsy bit of fabric, but she faltered. "Nolan," she whispered, her trembling fingers resting on the elastic of the material, she felt almost frozen.
"I want to see all of you sweetheart," he wanted to walk over and help her remove the last barrier, but knew she needed to do this on her own. She had shown more courage than any woman he'd ever known by going this far in his opinion. He refused to take that away from her now.
Taking a shaky deep breath, she slid the silky material down her thighs, and stepped out of them. A part of her wanted to cover herself from his passion filled eyes, but she knew that wasn't what he wanted and she remained completely still as he glanced over every inch of her exposed flesh.
"I've never seen anyone more beautiful Angela," he whispered in reverence. Walking over, he engulfed her in his arms once more, feeling the tremor moving through her small frame. The feel of her softness against his body was the most amazing sensation he'd ever known, and he stood there for a few moments just enjoying the feel of her so close to him.
He kissed her again, and for the first time in her life she truly wasn't afraid. It felt so wonderful to be held by him, to enjoy his hardness against her as her softness gave way. Her body ached with strange new sensations and she whimpered softly, confused at the overwhelming need for even more.
With more care than he had ever given anything, he lifted her into his arms and walked over to the bed. Gently, he lowered using one hand to pull back the comforter before placing her in the center. Joining her quickly, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again. Even as his body demanded release, he refused to move faster, needing her to want to be here as much as he wanted her.
When her back arched up, rubbing her breasts against his chest, he knew she needed more. Lowering his large hand, he cupped the beautiful mound lovingly, before lowering his head and suckling the pale peak into his mouth. Her soft cry of pleasure moved through him and he ached to give her everything she needed to be whole once more.
Her hands roamed over the thick muscles in his back, amazed at the incredible feeling his mouth was giving. Closing her eyes, she allowed the sensations to overwhelm her. As his teeth gently nipped the peak, she felt a pang of desire move from her breast straight to her core, and cried out softly.
He couldn't get enough, his hands traced the smooth skin of her arms, trailed across her abdomen, then lowered to run down the length of her legs. Moving to the end of the bed he lifted her small arched foot, and suckled her toes, then allowed his tongue to find her ankle, calf, and her thigh before moving up and finding her lips again.
Her core was aching as he continued to rein kisses and caresses everywhere but where she craved it the most. When he carefully turned her over on her stomach, she almost groaned in frustration as his hands and lips trailed down her spine, over her rear, and down to her feet again. "Please Nolan," she begged softly, she needed more than this, even as her face flushed with heat of her brazenness.
He knew exactly what she needed, but had refused to do more than she was ready for. Turning her back over, he smiled warmly. "Do you want me to touch you sweetheart?" At her nod he chuckled softly and his hands moved over her arms then breasts again. "Like this?" She had to give him permission to go further, he decided.
Shaking her head no, she gave a frustrated whimper, wondering why he didn't know what she needed from him.
"You have to tell me what you want angel," his lips found hers again, stilling all movement of his hands.
With her body on the edge of some amazing discovery, she still couldn't put into words what she desired. Instead she grabbed his hand and lowered it to the part of her that was aching almost painfully. She knew her face was probably burning with color, but she forced herself to look up into his expressive eyes.
If it had been anyone else he would have demanded she put into words what she wanted, with her this was more than enough. His long fingers slid through the soft downy curls between her thighs, and stroked gently. He had always preferred his women shaved, but with her she was perfect the way she was, he thought. The silken flesh of her core was drenched with her need, and he felt like screaming thank you at the top of his lungs. She tensed as he slid one finger inside the tightness of her flesh, and he slowly withdrew.
"You are so tight my little angel," he caressed the small nub again before allowing his finger to slide in again slowly. He wasn't a small man, and worried that he'd break his promise to not cause her pain when he took her. Determined not to let that happen, he added another finger attempting to stretch her.
She gasped at the delicious feeling of his fingers inside of her, even though there was a slight fullness she wasn't used to. His movements were so slow and unhurried that within minutes she was arching up to meet every gentle thrust of the magic of his hand, aching again for more.
Sliding his fingers from her clenching flesh, he lowered his body down the bed, and lifted her shapely thighs over his shoulders. The slight fear in her eyes, he returned with a smile before lowering his mouth to the perfection of her taste.
Shocked at what he was doing, she tensed until the overwhelming pleasure of his tongue drove away any other thoughts. When his fingers found her again, as his tongue continued to torment her, she found release almost immediately and cried out loudly. Her first orgasm, she thought as she floated back into her own mind. She didn't have long to recover as his mouth and fingers began the same dance again, amazing her as her body wanted release again.
Moving back up her body, he kissed her gently before sliding from the bed and removing his boxers. Her eyes widened as they found his shaft, and she knew that he was gifted in that area even if she had only seen one other male before. "Nolan?" The thought of him filling her with his hugeness, made her pause for a minute.
The need in his eyes though, there was no way she could deny him his pleasure after all he had already given her tonight. Parting her thighs slightly, she held out her arms to him, telling him without words she wanted this to go further.
If she had demanded that he stop, he knew that he would have been happy to simply have given her pleasure this night. Her open arms filled him with more jo
y than he could ever recall having before and he slowly lowered himself back onto the bed. Coming between her thighs, his fingers stroked softly until she was once again arching toward his touch. "Watch me," he entreated with what little patience he had left.
Her eyes opened widely as he slowly inched inside her resistant flesh, and she cried out softly at the pain. Her nails bit into his back as she felt her body stretch to accommodate him, and for a panic filled moment she knew this would never work. Biting her lip to stop from crying out again, she attempted to relax.
She was so incredible tight and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. "Sweetheart we can stop," he hoped he still had that capability, as he spoke the words and inched in again slowly then retreating at the look of pain on her beautiful face.
"Don't stop," she demanded softly, not happy about the pain, but also wanting to share this with him. Lowering her hands to his perfect rear she pushed down as her hips lifted up and on his thrust he broke through the barrier of her innocence. She couldn't stop the cry that escaped at the burning pain, or the tears that slid from her eyes.
A million thoughts moved through his head at that moment, knowing he'd just taking her virginity and not knowing how it was possible. Sensing the pain he was causing, he remained completely still, allowing her body to adjust, and knew he wouldn't bring up any of those thoughts at the moment. Her pleasure was all that mattered and he was determined to bring it back.
The pain was slowly receding, and she could tell by the look on his face how much strain it was causing him to not move. "I'm okay Nolan," she whispered softly.
His fingers tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes and he slowly moved. "Soon it will feel good again, I promise," he hoped he wasn't lying, but that's what he'd heard. He never taken a virgin before and could only hope they were right. With all the control he could muster, he slowly began thrusting inside her tight sheath, all his focus on bringing her desire again. Allowing his fingers to trail between their bodies, he caressed the swollen nub again until she cried out softly.
Angela's Salvation Page 10