“What do you mean, she sees the difference?”
“You know that she’s always been inquisitive and is a bit more knowing than the average child her age... .”
“Yes, I know, but what are you saying?”
Victoria put down her BlackBerry, locking eyes with her husband. “The other day Alexandria asked me, ‘Mommy, if you’re black and Daddy’s white ... what am I?’”
They sat in silence again, staring at each other. Ted was at a temporary loss for words. He had been warned by his mother that this day would come, and logically, he knew this was a natural question for Alexandria to ask. But he hadn’t anticipated it to come so soon. His little princess was still so young.
“What did you tell her?” he asked.
“I told her the truth. That yes ... Mommy is black and Daddy is white, and that she’s the best of both of us,” Victoria said, leaning back in her chair. “It seemed to satisfy her, but, Ted, whether you want to face it or not, society has already labeled our child. There will be times when she will have to identify.”
“Why do you always think she’s going to have to choose one over the other?”
“Why do you think she’ll never have to?” Victoria countered, shaking her head.
This was an issue that sometimes left them at odds, the struggle over their daughter’s racial identity. Victoria knew that the discord would only grow as Alexandria matured in age, and the thought of having to constantly fight to infuse her African American roots into her daughter’s life was something that she knew would wear thin.
“Because we live in a global world,” Ted continued. “Things have changed since we were Alexandria’s age. You act like we’re living in the Jim Crow era.”
Victoria smirked. “Ha, Jim Crow was blatant. What I’m talking about is the subtlety of twenty-first-century racism. It’s cloaked so well that you don’t even see it. Hell, it’s got you drinking the Kool-Aid. You haven’t been ostracized in your social circle for being married to me, but it’s only because of who you are and the economic status you hold. But trust me, they’ve talked about us under their breaths.”
Ted shook his head, turning his eyes away from his wife, knowing she was right.
“As much as you love Alexandria and me, and as open-minded as you are, you still have a blind spot when it comes to race. Are you just that oblivious, or do you purposely choose to ignore it?”
The air between them became thick with discomfort.
“I’m not oblivious about how things work,” Ted answered. “I’m immersed in corporate America, remember? I understood the prejudice we were going to face long before we got married,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “We simply have different views on the subject. Alexandria’s just five years old, V ... five years old,” he stressed. “I don’t want her to feel like she has to choose anything right now.”
“But, Ted, we’ve been teaching her how to make choices since she was old enough to speak her first words. Please, let’s be clear about this.” Victoria paused. “You don’t want her to have to make choices when it involves race.”
“V—”
Victoria interrupted him. “Before we got married, I told you my concerns about us raising children and the struggles we would face, and you were the one who said you were ready to deal with anything that came our way, remember? Well, it’s time to start dealing.”
Ted let out a deep breath filled with frustration. He didn’t want to argue so early in the morning, especially after they had gotten the day off to such a good start. He decided that it wasn’t the time to tackle such a delicate debate, so he reached over and put his hand on top of Victoria’s. “I love my family, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and Alexandria. I’m not oblivious, and I won’t make blind decisions that will hurt us. This is just something I feel strongly about.”
“And so do I.”
Ted leaned in close, prepared to give in, but only for the moment. “I hope Alexandria has a good time today.” He smiled. “I really do.”
Although Victoria knew that he meant every word coming from his mouth, what he just said didn’t arrest her worries, because she knew what her husband didn’t—that this was just the beginning. She wished she could wave a magic wand and change the last three hundred fifty years of American history. This was a war she had been suited up to fight all her life, but it was a new battle for Ted, and she knew that he would never fully understand the complexities of what it meant to be black in America.
“I’m heading upstairs, because we’ve got to leave soon,” Victoria said. She grabbed her BlackBerry and rose from the table. She leaned over and kissed Ted lightly on the lips. “We’ll work through this, together.”
Ted kissed her back and nodded his head. He watched his wife as she walked out of the room, and thought about the question his daughter had asked. What am I?
He’s Quite a Catch....
Victoria’s stomach was a bundle of squiggly lines and nervous jitters. It had been that way since she had arrived at Hilda Barrett’s house a half hour ago. She looked down at her watch. Damn! Thirty minutes to go. That was how long it would be before she could get the hell out of there!
She couldn’t wait to make a beeline out the door and head straight to her car. Even though she would have to return in a few hours to pick up Alexandria from her first Jack and Jill playdate, she knew that she needed to leave now, before her temples throbbed any harder.
She was sitting on a large paisley-print sofa with her legs crossed, trying to concentrate on the information that Hilda, the current chapter president, was delivering to the parents of the newly minted crop of young Jack and Jill darlings. Even though Victoria knew the information like she had written it herself, she tried to focus hard on the words coming out of Hilda’s mouth. Focusing would help take her mind off the man sitting across the room. The one causing her nerves to fray at the edges.
She’d spotted him as soon as she and Alexandria had arrived. He’d been bent down on one knee, whispering something to an adorable little boy who looked like his “mini me.”
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Copyright © 2006 by Leslie Esdaile Banks
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ISBN: 978-0-7582-7375-8
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