by Jessica Ames
“Great,” I mutter.
I need to get back to the hospital and make sure Lil is all right and since Ty was my ride here, I guess I’m going to have to figure out an alternative.
Just as I’m about to pull my phone out and dial a cab, Zack strolls in. The prospect eyes me as he moves.
“Hey, where’d everyone go?” I ask, peering up from my screen.
“Out.”
I roll my eyes. “I figured that much out on my own, thanks.” The sarcasm drips from my words. I can’t help myself.
“You know, maybe you should watch your mouth.”
My brows raise and I return my attention to my phone as I mutter out, “Wow, did you finally find your balls, baby biker?”
“I see you haven’t changed at all,” a familiar voice says, stepping out from the shadows of the bar. My heart stops dead in my chest and my hands are suddenly damp as I stare at Sin. “Three years on and you’re still a fucking bitch.”
He looks a mess, his face a mass of yellowing bruises and scabbed over cuts. I don’t miss that he holds himself, his hand around his chest as if he’s still hurting. Good. I hope Ty broke every bone in his fucking body. It still wouldn’t come close to the pain I suffered, to the pain I still suffer.
But coming face to face with my rapist without the buffer of Ty or Nox here has my stomach twisting and my guts rolling. I take a couple of shaky steps back, putting the nearest table between us as my mouth dries out. Fear clamps its hold around my heart so I can barely take a breath in and nausea climbs up my throat.
Fuck. What the hell is he doing here?
I take another step back as he moves towards me, my nightmare continuing to play on a loop. He’s not a figment of my imagination. He’s really fucking here.
His mouth pulls into a macabre grin.
“No hello?”
Zack glances between the two of us, and I can see it dawning on him that something isn’t right here. “Look, man, I only let you in to get your shit and I only did that out of respect for the fact you sponsored me to take the prospect kutte, but you don’t talk to her. Rav’ll beat us both. Everyone was told not to let you in the building.”
“He’ll do more than beat you. Kiss your pathetic life goodbye,” I snarl out. My heart is pounding so hard now I can barely draw a full breath in without pain lancing through my chest.
“You’ve got to go, Sin,” Zack says, his voice filled with desperation. “You’re going to cost me my colours.”
The kid is seriously naïve if he thinks that’s all he’s going to lose. Tyler doesn’t do well with betrayal and he’ll see this as one.
Sin turns and before I can react, I see the flash of metal and hear the loud pop ricochet off the walls with the unmistakeable sound of a gun being fired.
I jolt as Zack slides to his knees, blood pouring from his forehead before he falls flat on his face. Blood splatters up the wall behind him, along with bits of skull and brain.
Shock roots me to the floor and bile churns in my gut. I grew up in a club that lives on the wrong side of the law. I’ve seen my share of violence. I’ve even seen people die, but I didn’t expect Sin to kill him like that. The poor kid didn’t stand a chance.
“Fuck,” I mutter, the word coming out on a shaky gasp.
Sin glances back at me, a grin playing across his face. I don’t think. I run, tossing chairs behind me as I go to slow him down. I expect to feel the burn of a bullet in my back, but I don’t. I barely reach the door before a hand fists into my hair and drags me back. My scalp burning like a hundred small fires are singeing through my roots.
“Where are you going, Sash?” he hisses in my ear as he drags me close. I hate the way he says my name, I hate the way his breath is warm against my cheek. It makes my stomach swirl. “We ain’t done here.”
Fear claws up my spine as I’m thrown back into that day. Images of him holding me down as he pushed himself inside me without remorse flood me, and I can hardly breathe.
“Stop!”
No surprise, he doesn’t. Ignoring my pleas, he drags me back and I claw at his hands, trying to remove his hold on my hair. He doesn’t let go. If anything, his grip becomes more ironclad. Still, I kick and hit out at him. I’m not going down without a fight. I’m not the girl I was three years ago, and that’s because of him. I’m stronger, and knowing I have Ty and the club behind me, that I have everything to live for, pushes me to fight.
I don’t go easily. I battle hard against Sin, but when he pushes the gun into my side I freeze. If he shot Zack without remorse, I doubt he’d be fazed by putting a bullet in me. Blue eyes flash before my own, her smile, her beautiful curls. I have to live for my daughter.
He pulls me against him and my skin crawls at his touch. Shuddering in his hold, I feel his filth all over me and try to shrink away from his hands, but I can’t—not with the kiss of steel against my side.
“You’re going to walk out of here willingly or I’m going to shoot you. Then I’ll find Rav and shoot him. I might even pay our daughter a visit.”
I don’t tell him she’s not his. Those words falling from his lips make me submit. He will not touch my child or go near her. His filth stays away from her.
I swallow bile. “Okay, okay.” My heart flutters in my throat as I stumble over the debris covering the common room floor. I have no idea what his plan is, but I know if I leave the clubhouse I’m fucked.
Sin tugs me and I move on unsteady feet towards the door. My mind is racing, but I can’t latch onto a single idea of how to get out of this. I know I have to fight.
As soon as we step outside, I kick my foot back between his legs, hitting him in the dick as hard as I can. I feel a hint of satisfaction as he doubles over with a groan.
Taking off as fast as I can, I sprint towards the compound gates. My legs burn as I pump faster, adrenaline fuelling my movements.
Then a force slams into my back and I go down hard, my knees slamming off the tarmac. Pain ricochets through my bones, jarring me, and I can’t stop the cry that escapes my mouth.
I barely have time to think before he’s on top of me, straddling my hips. My face is pushed into the ground, scratching up my cheek and I breathe in the smell of the asphalt.
My breath see-saws out of me as I lie there helpless beneath his bulk. No, no, no. I won’t let him do this to me again. I won’t. His hand goes to the back of my neck and his mouth moves to my ear.
“You’re really testing my fucking patience, bitch.”
Short-lived relief floods me when he lifts off me and drags me up. I scrape my hands against the ground and pain burns through my palms. As soon as I’m upright, he brings the gun down hard. It slams into my face with enough force to make me see stars. I stumble as my vision darkens and pain throbs through my head. His bruising grip on my arm is all that keeps me on my feet.
Warmth spreads down my face. I swipe at it and my fingers come away covered in red. Blood. I feel dazed, my head dizzy as he pulls me towards the parking area.
I can barely see through the film of red dripping into my eyes as I’m pushed into a vehicle, Sin climbing in after me. He holds the gun on me as he starts the engine.
I’m completely fucked.
27
Ravage
My heart sits in my throat the entire ride back to the clubhouse. Nervous energy tingles through me as my bike rumbles beneath me. I know he’s going after her. I can feel it in my soul. I just hope like fuck we’re not too late.
I have no clue what to expect as we pull down the road, but I see the main gate is open. Immediately, I go on alert, my stomach churning. The gate is never fucking open.
As the bikes roar past the security booth, I see it’s empty. Where the fuck is the kid? Zack’s supposed to be here. He’s out for this. No second fucking chances.
Fear licks a path up my spine as I stop my bike near the door and kick the stand down. It’s not something I usually experience. Like oil and water, it doesn’t belong in me. This life has tau
ght me to be unafraid. I don’t fear the Grim Reaper. I’ve been tortured by an enemy club and I still didn’t talk, and I’ve faced the end of a gun barrel on more than one occasion. Fear never raised its ugly head until now.
Praying to the fuckers in the sky I don’t believe in that Sasha is still in the shower or crashed on my bed, I don’t bother to pull the keys from the engine, but I drag my helmet off as I run towards the door. My boot steps are loud as the rumbling of the Harleys dies down.
My brothers yell at me to stop, warning me to be cautious before entering the building, but I don’t listen. The devil himself could be behind that door and he wouldn’t stop me. My heart is galloping in my chest, fear that something might have happened to Sasha fuelling my long strides. I shove through the door and when I step inside, my stomach fills with ice.
The room has been turned over, chairs flipped the wrong way up, tables upturned. A chill works its way up from my feet. What the fuck happened?
I hear movement behind me as my brothers pile into the room, but I don’t pay them any attention, instead taking in the destruction. A fight happened here.
Sasha?
“Shit, Rav!”
I move around the fallen chairs, tossing the debris aside to move towards Daimon who is kneeling at the side of the bar.
Zack is crumpled on the floor faced down, a pool of sticky blood around his head. The metallic scent of it clings to the back of my throat and I cough, trying to clear it from my sinuses. Whizz crouches down, taking in the mess of brain and blood matted into his hair around a large ugly looking exit wound.
My eyes trail over the blood sprayed up the wall and anger replaces every other emotion as it flares through me, a storm brewing.
Sasha.
Without thinking, I turn and rush towards the common room doors, ignoring Day and Nox yelling after me. My only salvation is the thought that if Sasha is still here maybe she was able to hide. Maybe she’s still safe. She grew up in the club, she knew what to do if we were attacked. Maybe she got to safety.
I call her name as I rush up the corridors, my heart dancing in my throat. My voice is pitched higher than usual and I hear the anxiety in my tone. I don’t give a fuck. My only focus is on finding my woman.
The further I get from the common room the more my fear tears at me. She’s not here. She would have heard me shouting and come to me by now, but my voice just roars off the walls around me only to be met by my echo.
When I push into my room, her smell surrounds me, still lingering in the air, but there’s no sign of her. It’s like a bullet to the chest as I take in her clothes draped on the end of the bed. At the sight of it my legs nearly give way. He’s taken her. Under my watch he came into my clubhouse and took my woman.
“She’s not here?” Nox demands as he pushes into the room, Daimon and Fury on his heels.
I close my eyes, asking the universe for patience, but I don’t find it. My rage, my frustration, my fear pours out of me. I tug at the dresser, pulling it over. It crashes to the carpet hard enough to vibrate through the floor. It doesn’t do anything to help soothe the demons rising in me.
“We need to find her! Now!”
“We don’t know it was Sin who did this.” Daimon is all about facts and reasons. We have enemies. You don’t live this life without them, but everything is screaming at me that this was my brother. I know he took Sasha.
“That cunt has her.”
Fear of what Sin might do to her washes through me. My brother hates me. It’s clear from the photographs how deep that hate runs. Is this why he raped her? To hurt me? Questions assail my mind and I have no answers to any of them. All I know is I promised Sasha I’d protect her and now she’s in danger.
Failure weighs on my shoulders like I’m carrying a ten-tonne anvil. I can’t let her down again. I already fucked up once. I left her with a monster and she got hurt. Now, I’ve left her in his path again.
“Fuck!” I scream to the empty walls.
Sin started this battle, but now, I’m going to bring the fucking war, and there can only be one winner.
I push out of my room and head back down to the common area. Titch and Whizz are attempting to clean up the mess of Zack’s body.
Levi steps towards me. “I found this.”
He hands me a mobile phone. I swipe the screen and the background photo pops up. It’s Lily-May. Fuck. This is Sash’s phone. A glacial cold wraps itself around my throat, squeezing until I can hardly breathe. In my life, I’ve faced situations that were so bad I thought I wasn’t walking out of them. I’ve been tortured, I’ve been hurt, but I’ve never felt fear like this. I don’t know who my brother is anymore. I can’t predict what he’ll do next and that sends a wave of terror through me. What the hell is he doing to my woman? He’s already proved he has no trouble taking from her something that isn’t given freely. He shot Zack in the fucking head. Now, he’s spiralling knowing his life is on a countdown, what will he do to her?
“Zack was helping Sin,” I mutter. “See if he’s got his phone on him. There might be clues as to where my brother was going.”
Whizz digs in Zack’s pockets and comes out with a mobile phone. He uses Zack’s finger to unlock the fingerprint scanner and then starts swiping through the phone.
Nox comes to my side, his hand moving to my shoulder. “We’ll find them.”
“He could be anywhere.”
“You know this kid better than anyone, Rav. Where the fuck would he take her?”
I dip my head, letting my thoughts run. He’s right. I know Sin better than he probably knows himself. At least I thought I did. Now, I don’t think I knew him at all. The little brother I knew isn’t a rapist piece of shit. He was my teammate, my wingman, my fucking blood. It was all an illusion, a mask he wore. Now he’s removed it, he’s showing me the truth, and it’s a truth that is bringing me to my knees piece by piece. There’s so much anger towards me, I still don’t fucking understand why. I raised him, kept him safe when we had nothing. I went without food so he could eat. The first ten years of my life were a nightmare. Dad was a member of the Sons, but he was mostly absent, off on runs or doing time. We barely saw him. He rarely remembered he had two sons at home. We spent as much time as we could at the clubhouse with Sash and Nox—our friendships cemented by our shared histories of having parents who were absent, busy or didn’t give a fuck, but I was finally happy—with Sasha. Didn’t he want that for me? Her leaving for the past three years was probably the only thing that kept her safe from his obsession, and that scares the shit out of me.
We didn’t have the easiest upbringing, but that doesn’t excuse what he’s become, what he did to Sasha. The evil control he exerted over her by taking her body against her will can’t be excused.
I did the best I could with that kid. I built us a life. I didn’t expect him to try to ruin mine by taking the only thing I gave a shit about from me. Growing up, Mum was an addict. We didn’t have anything, sometimes not even enough food to eat. I’d take the beatings to protect Sin, to keep him from getting hurt. We’d sleep rough a lot of the time to get out of the house to avoid the steady stream of Johns she had coming through.
One night, Mum battered me so badly, Sin didn’t know what the hell to do, so he called Priest, who got Dad. He took one look at me and lost his shit. I don’t know what the fuck he said to our bitch of a mother, but after that we lived with him. Things got better, but they still weren’t fantastic. Dad didn’t know how to parent. He was always knee deep in pussy and booze, but at least he wasn’t violent to us. I continued to take care of my brother, trying everything to make his life better. What the fuck did I do that was so bad, that made him betray me in a way that hurts more than a knife to the stomach? I’d rather he’d gutted me alive.
“He’d go back to the warehouse we just left,” I say. “He wouldn’t think we’d look there again.”
“Let’s mount up,” Nox orders, stepping easily into his VP role. “We’ll find them, Rav. I promise.�
��
Yeah, we’ll find them, but will it be too late?
28
Sasha
My head is throbbing, the pain radiating down my cheek and jaw. I can barely see through the blood that’s still pouring down my face. I risk sliding my gaze sideways and glance quickly at Sin. He’s driving, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on his lap, pointing the gun in my direction—a gun he used to kill Zack. My stomach roils.
I face forward, watching the traffic passing on the other side of the road, dizziness washing over me. I can barely focus on anything other than taking steadying breaths. I’m scared, but if Sin thinks he’s going to hurt me without a fight, he’s dead wrong. I won’t go down without a fight.
I try to come up with a plan, try to remember everything my father and the guys taught me growing up about how to protect myself, but it gets lost in my dazed thoughts.
A glacial hand squeezes my heart as he pulls the car off onto a single track. As we move further from the road and away from civilisation, my fear starts to grow. My shoulders hunch as I realise just how far from the road we are. No one will come down here.
My eyes shift to the large brick building in front of us and I feel a wave of nausea spread through my body. It’s falling apart, the mortar crumbling, the windows put through. There are weeds growing through the cracked concrete and the walls have been tagged by someone called ‘Lucky’.
I peer through the windscreen, my heart thrumming beneath my ribs. This is where he’s taking me? My plans to escape die and my mouth dries as he stops the engine, pulling the keys from the ignition. They disappear into the inside pocket of his kutte. He doesn’t deserve that leather. He was never a brother, a Son. He’s a fucking backstabbing bastard.
My mouth pulls into a grimace as I roam my eyes over the blood splattered leather. It’s Zack’s blood, but I suspect some of it could be mine too.