by Eliza McGrey
“I can see you considering it,” Jonathon said, his brow furrowing. “Which makes me think all the more that you should tell me. What’s the matter?”
In that moment, I caught a glimpse of Jonathon as a child, giving me that same look when I refused to tell him about the severe tongue lashing that Lord Rupert had given me when he discovered I had stolen one of his precious sweets from his cousin in Germany. He was genuinely concerned, and I knew that he would be relentless now in his questions, just as he always was. He knew something was wrong. Something about me had confirmed it, and now he would stop at nothing to discover the truth.
I decided, then, that it was best to be open and honest with him.
“Jonathon…I think that my husband is a traitor.”
The words slipped out so easily, with so little emotion and with such certainty that I surprised myself.
“…What?” he asked, sitting up straighter, his eyes widening.
I ducked my gaze, instead focusing on my hands knotting in my lap. “I’ve discovered some secrets that he has hidden away here in the estate, things that would surely be detrimental to him and his image if anyone were to find it – ”
“What sort of things?” Jonathon said, leaning forward.
“Letters and other documents from the war,” I said. “Most of it is rather cryptic, and half of it is in French and I can’t understand a great deal of it, but men have died, Jonathon. Under my husband’s command, men have been killed for standing up to him, for not wanting to do as he asked, believing it to be wrong.”
“Do you know this for certain?” he asked.
I nodded. “There was a dossier containing the names and pictures of the men in his command, some of which were killed for going against his orders, and others who were praised for their discretion – ”
“Maryanne, have you ever considered that perhaps those men were killed because they were the traitors, and not the Colonel?” Jonathon asked.
That question stopped me in my tracks. I blinked at him for a moment, wondering if it was at all possible that I was, in fact, the one who had been blinded. “I – ”
“Where did you get the idea that the Colonel had betrayed his own people? Betrayed the crown that he swore to protect?” Jonathon asked.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel it was a very wise choice to tell him about Mr. Watson. He would tell me I was a fool for listening to him.
But…was I a fool for listening to him?
I was so certain of what I was telling him, yet everyone else around me spoke of the contrary. He was a great and honorable man, that he had saved England, that I was so lucky to have married so well. All these things left me confused, and my head spinning.
“I don’t know,” I said, uncertainty clear in my voice. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”
“Are you just unhappy?” Jonathon asked.
“No,” I said. “Well, yes, I suppose that I am rather unhappy, actually. The Colonel is a very distant man. He is very private and I hardly know him.”
“That doesn’t mean he is keeping such terrible secrets that you are accusing him of,” Jonathon said.
“It isn’t just that…” I said. “I’ve heard that he was engaged just before he asked my father for my hand, and that the woman he had been engaged to mysteriously disappeared.”
That seemed to surprise him. “Disappeared, you say?” he asked.
“Yes. She was supposedly found dead, but some thought it to be a false report, as the family of the woman was never allowed to see her body…” I said.
Jonathon studied me hard for a moment. “I understand, now…” he said.
“What do you understand?” I asked.
He rose from the settee and crossed to the windows overlooking the front garden. “You’re frightened that whatever happened to that young woman might happen to you,” he said.
“Well, of course I am,” I said. “I’m scared to death of it.”
He glanced over his shoulder at me. “You’re concerned that the Colonel had something to do with her death?” he asked.
“Of course,” I said.
“Don’t you think that is, perhaps, just a bit too extreme?” he asked.
I frowned. He still didn’t believe me. What could I say to convince him otherwise?
“Maryanne, I think you are just being overly suspicious,” he said. “Don’t you think it was far more likely that the woman was ill? Or there had been some kind of accident? The Colonel wasn’t even married to the poor girl yet. What motivation would he have for taking her life? It isn’t as if he would gain anything from it.”
“Aside from her silence,” I said. “What if she discovered the same truths that I have?”
“Maryanne, you must listen to yourself,” he said. “All this conspiracy nonsense has got you sounding like an utter fool – ”
“I am not a fool,” I said, standing up, my cheeks flushing. “Jonathon, why won’t you listen to me? Why are you so insistent that I’m lying?”
“Because these are the sorts of rumors that would completely ruin your reputation if they were to get out, Maryanne,” he said, moving back across the room to me. “You must understand that what you are saying is nothing more than a result of some misplaced fear – ”
“And if you’re wrong?” I asked.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Maryanne, the Colonel is an upstanding member of society. Don’t you think that someone else who is closer to him, perhaps someone that served alongside him in the war, would have discovered this secret long ago? Do you really think they give out such high honors for men serving in the war so easily? No. There is a great deal that goes into it, and the Colonel would never have been able to cover up something as hefty as treason.”
“You don’t understand how quiet, how secretive he is – ” I said.
“I don’t have to,” Jonathon said. “Now please. Set these fears aside. It is unbecoming of you to be so fretful.”
“I would not be so without good reason,” I snapped, glaring at him.
“Do you really think that I would lead you astray?” he asked, his own eyes narrowing. “I am saying all of this for your own good. If someone were to overhear you, you would not only embarrass yourself, but you would also embarrass your husband, and that would only end badly for you. I don’t want to see you suffer, Maryanne. Please understand that not all stories you hear are true. Take heart in knowing that your husband is a war hero, and trust that those who are in charge would have noticed if anything were wrong,” he said, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder.
There was no changing his mind. At least there wasn’t any chance of it right now. I needed more proof. Undeniable proof, not just cryptic letters or death certificates of soldiers. I needed something concrete, something that no one would be able to deny.
So I chose to smile at my oldest friend, to give him some peace of mind. “…All right, Jonathon. I suppose I can think about what you said. You are right, of course. I wouldn’t want to ruin the reputation of my husband so needlessly…”
Jonathon gently lifted my chin so as to force me to meet his gaze directly. “To be very clear, Maryanne, your reputation and happiness is the one that I’m concerned about, not his. Which is why I urge you to set aside these ridiculous notions. All right?”
I nodded. “Yes,” I lied. “I will.”
“Very good,” he said, also nodding. “Then we shall never speak of this again.”
“Of course,” I said with a smile.
Isabelle brought some tea to us a short time later, and we were able to settle into more pleasant, albeit very casual conversation. Neither of us wished to address anything we had discussed when there were no prying ears, but neither did we have a great deal to discuss any further. He had a wife to get home to, and I had some more evidence to find, after all.
“It was wonderful seeing you today,” he said with a sad smile as I walked him to the front door. “I promise I will write more often.”
>
“Would it help at all if I were to write to your wife, explaining everything?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. No, this will just have to be something we work through together. Thank you, anyways,” he said.
He put his hat onto his head and gave me a long, piercing look. Part of me wished to hug him like I used to when we were younger, even though I knew that Mrs. Brian was watching from the other side of the foyer, along with several other servants who were going about their daily chores.
So instead, I curtsied to him, as low as I could, hoping he would interpret the action as my affection for him.
He seemed to understand; his bow was so deep that I may as well have been a member of the royal family.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said in a gentle tone.
“Yes, you shall,” I reaffirmed.
He gazed outside at the sunny cobblestone street, the clopping of horses driving by and the low rumble of conversations between passersby filling the foyer. “Well…until next time,” he said, tipping his hat to me.
I watched as he made his way slowly down the front steps and along the path leading to the street. He stepped through the wrought iron gates and disappeared behind the stone wall surrounding the gardens.
My heart ached. Jonathon hadn’t believed me, in the end. I was all alone in my fears once again.
Well…not entirely alone.
I wasted no time heading back upstairs to pen a letter to Henry Watson, informing him that I would very much like to meet and discuss our findings further.
Chapter 10
My plan to seduce my husband to prevent him from discovering what I was up to had both its positive and negative effects. For one, Richard never questioned me about anything. If anything, he had complete and utter trust in me. He never told me no about anything I wanted, including dresses, hats, gloves, and any other things I might like. He didn’t even bat an eye when I asked for a new parasol, saying that I wished to have the very latest in fashion.
“It would behoove me not to answer my lady’s requests,” he said with a sly grin.
The negative of my advances was that now Richard enjoyed spending more time at home, taking care of me and ensuring that I was happy. Those more frequent afternoons of him present were making it more and more difficult to meet with Mr. Watson, or Henry as he insisted I call him, let alone find more evidence throughout the house of the Colonel’s wrongdoing.
Little did Richard know that I was using all these new clothes and gifts he was giving me to meet with Henry. We were meeting almost twice a week as spring began to recede and summer took its place. We would meet in the parks when I would go for a stroll, or at shops in town where we would exchange information very briefly. I would always leave with such great trembles in my arms and legs. It was thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.
I was relieved when Richard said he was going to be taking a long trip to Spain, one that would last a fortnight. Elated with the amount of time I now had, I hurried to write to Henry, asking him to meet with me as soon as Richard was gone.
That’s wonderful news, he wrote back. I look forward to sitting and speaking about all of this with you. Why don’t we meet in the park on the morning after next? I shall bring us a picnic lunch and we can enjoy the coolness of the air beside the fountain? I imagine it must be awfully stuffy in that house all by yourself this time of the year.
Henry was so much the opposite of Richard. While Richard was ice and stone, Henry was a breath of fresh air. I couldn’t help but enjoy the times that I knew I was going to see him. While Richard only ever seemed to want me for what I could offer him, Henry seemed to be happy with getting to know me on a more personal level. He asked about my life, my family, my interests. I found it so easy to speak with him, and found myself thinking of him far more often than I should. He was like a lighthouse in my stormy heart, drawing me away from the dangerous, sloshing sea that was my marriage. At any moment, I feared I could be swallowed up. But as long as I continued to press forward, trying to find as much information as I could, then I knew that I would one day reach the other side.
Make sure to burn this letter after you’ve read it, Henry wrote. We don’t want any prying eyes.
He was right, of course. I never kept any letters around the house. I didn’t want Richard to ever find them.
As Henry was still parading about as my “cousin,” it made it far more easy for the two of us to be off alone together. I did not cower in fear in public as I had at the beginning. I was worried someone might notice us, but they never did. They all had their own busy lives to attend to, after all. And just because I was the Colonel’s wife, it didn’t mean that anyone would recognize me in the first place.
With great anticipation, I waited for my meeting with Henry. I was restless, gathering as much information as I could to share with him. I really felt as if we both had a decent amount of information, almost enough that I would be able to finally begin working on an article to be released to the public through Henry’s newspaper. The only thing stopping me from doing it was the fear that Richard would be able to trace it all back to me. I knew it was highly likely that he would anyway, in the end, but the longer I could delay the inevitable, the better off I would be.
The other problem stopping me was that I hadn’t yet confessed to Henry about my desire to write, or the many attempts I’d taken to be published. I was certain he would understand, but I knew that regardless of my desire, he would outright refuse to let me be the one to write it in fear of what might happen to me. I wasn’t ready to have that argument with him yet. I felt it was only right that I help, after all. We would expose him together, and both find peace.
I left the house almost an hour before we were supposed to meet. Feigning discomfort due to the high heat that summer had brought so early, I informed Mrs. Brian that I would be out for most of the afternoon in town. She didn’t like that decision, just as she didn’t like any of the decisions I made. I had stopped caring about her opinion long before.
The day was brilliant and bright. I brought along my new parasol and wore a brand new hat that Richard had made for me. I made sure to wear a more reserved dress than the wife of such a renowned man would typically wear, but it was all to disguise myself. The less I stood out in a crowd, the better.
The park was only a short walk from the estate. Henry didn’t wish to draw me too far away in case someone did, by chance, recognize me. It would be easy enough to explain away, claiming he was my cousin and we were having a nice visit. It was quiet that day as well. I had expected a great deal more people to be out, but perhaps it was too hot to be underneath the sun’s direct gaze.
I wandered over toward the small fountain that bubbled happily in the middle of the park. Birds were singing in the trees overhead, encouraging their little ones to find their voices. There was a cool breeze sweeping through the grass and the branches of the few ancient trees in the small park, and the colorful flowers had turned their heads up to face the glow of the sun.
“Good afternoon, my lady.”
My heart skipped a beat and I turned to see Henry approaching with a basket beneath his arm, just as he said he would.
I smiled easily at him. “Good afternoon. And what a wonderful day it is,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Summer is in full bloom it seems.”
“Indeed it is,” he said. He turned his head to the side ever so slightly. “You look positively radiant today, my Lady.”
My cheeks flushed pink. “Oh, heavens, Henry. You’re making me blush.”
He grinned. He lifted the basket up. “I don’t suppose you’re hungry for some tea cakes, are you?”
“That sounds wonderful,” I said.
We sat down on the side of the fountain today and enjoyed some warm tea cakes and some apples that had a lovely sheen to them.
“I know that it is so loathsome to discuss business so soon after eating,” Henry said as he returned the rest of the cakes to the basket he brough
t. “But I really must ask…what was is it you were so eager to share with me?”
Upon reflection, I remembered that in my frantic fear of Jonathon’s rejection, I had sent a letter telling Henry that I had something very urgent to share with him. In truth, I had learned a great deal since our last meeting, and it was good that we had a chance to share it together.
“Well, I’ve learned some rather unfortunate things,” I said. “I’ve been finding more and more documents eluding to everything you have been telling me. But the most troubling that I’ve found to date are the reports about his triumphant return to London having infiltrated that secret meeting of the French lieutenants. The reports said that he managed to kill them all, which is why he was honored like he was, even though that some of those under his command were killed in the crossfire. He was given highest praise for returning some men home safely, and he is attributed for being a big reason as to why the war ended.”
“Yes, and?” Henry said.
I sighed heavily. “Well, those reports are all signed and dated. The problem is that I’ve found letters from French lieutenants, some of which bear the very same names as those listed as killed in combat, that sent letters to the Colonel, all of which are postmarked after those reports were written. Some were months later.”
Henry nodded. “Yes…that does seem rather strange, does it not?”
“Unless they are forged, which I don’t see why he would attempt to frame himself,” I said.
“Did you by any chance happen to bring those letters with you?” he asked.
I nodded, and passed them to him after pulling them down from inside my hat.
He began to scan the words.
“Can you speak French?” I asked.
He nodded without looking up.
Fascinated, I watched the side of his face as he read. It was so very hard to not notice how handsome he was. He was so gentle, and he made me smile…
If only we had met before I married the Colonel…then maybe…