by Cooper, R.
Nick looked up. “Wouldn’t have stopped you.” Chris thought he was imagining the words at first, until Nick added, “Fuck.” and a red flush spread over his cheeks.
“Okay,” Chris agreed blindly. He had to say something to hide how they made him feel. He put a hand over his stomach. “Okay but you aren’t me. You’re smart and brave, whatever you think, and tall and crazy hot. Don’t kick my ass, Nick, but you have no idea how hot you are. You’ve got the body and the hair and the eyes and the mouth and then you put on that jacket and…” What he was saying caught up with him and he shut his mouth and swallowed. “It’s a nice jacket,” he finished hoarsely. It was no way to describe that badass, worn, old jacket that had probably belonged to some long gone dashing pilot. It was impossible to think of Nick without thinking of him wearing that jacket.
Nick glanced away from him. He tugged at the jacket, unzipping it without taking it off. He was wearing the dress shirt and tie he’d worn to graduation. Chris whimpered quietly and decided he hated alcohol.
“I liked the way you didn’t take any crap.” Nick addressed the arching cement. “It made me think I shouldn’t take any either.” He swung his gaze back over. “So I didn’t after that.” Chris could see Nick’s hands passing nervously over his pockets, as if he wanted to pull out his lighter and play with it. “You’re something too, just so you know. There’s nobody else in this whole town like you. Maybe not anywhere else.”
“Thanks.” Chris could barely speak. He put a hand up to his face but had to drop it when he could feel the angry heat from his black eye. Even if his face hadn’t been puffy, he wouldn’t have been anything special to look at, but it was nice to hear someone had thought of him.
It had been silent for way too long by the time he coughed and stood away from the wall. He wondered if the whiskey was wearing off or if he’d never really been drunk.
“I mean, thanks if that was a compliment,” he joked and gestured at himself again. “It’s good to finally be noticed.”
“I’m fucking serious, Chris.” Nick snapped at him. His hands curled into fists and then he smoothed them out over the front pockets of his jacket. “You’re fearless. Or at least I thought you were.”
“Me? I’m scared all the time. I’m so scared all the time I’m tired of being scared all the time. It’s exhausting. I know my mom worries about me and then there’s the kids in the GSA with me who can’t come out yet and now I’ve got to think about college and besides hiding from drunken jocks I spent the rest of my time worrying I’m going to graduate from college a virgin too and that’s no kind of….”
“You’re a virgin?” Nick interrupted blankly. There was still color all through his face and he was getting twitchy. He reached for the backpack and dug around inside it until he found what he wanted, a new fifth of Jack. He cracked it and took a drink so big he coughed and sputtered after he swallowed.
Chris glared at him and then stalked over to grab the bottle. Nick’s fingers were hot and loose. Chris took the bottle from him easily and went back to the wall to have a drink.
“We aren’t all dangerous bad boys,” he said sadly to the bottle and drank until he felt tingly and numb at the same time. He was out of breath when he held the bottle in the air for Nick to come and get but then jumped when Nick appeared in front of him, serious and leaning into his space because of the low ceiling.
“You think I’m a heartbreaker?” Nick took his hand, or took the bottle out of his hand; Chris wasn’t sure for a second. “I thought you’d already been around. I thought gay guys all….” He scowled furiously. “Why not? How the hell are you a virgin?”
“I had offers.” Chris defended himself breathlessly and kept his chin up. “Sort of.” Handjobs between friends. Guys online. “They weren’t who I wanted.”
It didn’t make a lot of sense, but Nick seemed to get it. He eased back an inch or so. “They weren’t who you really wanted,” he repeated in this dazed voice, like Chris had hit him.
“Yeah kinda lame I know when sometimes I can’t jerk off enough.” Chris couldn’t think with Nick right in front of him but it wasn’t like Nick cared about him jacking off. “But I wanted someone who can deal with people around here knowing about us. Don’t laugh,” he ordered, though Nick wasn’t. Nick was staring at him with his lips just a little bit parted. He seemed confused so Chris tried to explain some more. “It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic or anything. Just…. People in this town… the way they are. I want something more than just them thinking I’m a freak. I want them to know I have someone. I guess. You know. Whatever.”
Nick blinked. Chris replayed what he’d just said and a giggle slipped out him. So he was drunk. Okay. He was a drunk, horny virgin talking to the boy he’d been crazy about since back when they’d dressed up as cartoon heroes together on a regular basis. His laugh ended in a sigh. “I’m picky for a virgin. Or I’m a virgin because I’m picky.”
He took the bottle from a silent Nick and had a sip. The mouth of the bottle was warm from Nick’s mouth, wet too. He groaned and licked the glass, just a little helplessly. Nick was so close it was killing him. “Now I should probably take anyone I guess.”
“No.” Nick finally spoke up, rough and quiet. “Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.” He had one hand on the wall by Chris’s head, Chris wasn’t sure when that had happened.
“Nick?” His mouth seemed unnaturally dry considering how much he’d had to drink. Nick licked his lips like he was having the same problem.
“Yeah?” Nick’s eyes seemed heavy. One curl was about to fall into his face. Chris swept the curl to the side and shivered, not that he was cold anymore.
Nick dropped the bottle. Chris heard it land though he didn’t hear any splashing liquid. He wanted to look but tipped his head back instead when Nick’s hand slid over his neck up to his face. His thumb brushed Chris’s lower lip then pushed, just enough, at the cut.
Chris made a small noise but his pulse was racing. He’d been half-hard since Nicky had come into his space and only just realized it. Nick might have seen it if he hadn’t been so close, panting as he watched Chris lick at the tip of his thumb.
Chris swallowed the salty, metallic taste as his lip started to throb. “I thought you liked girls. Women.” Whatever. He couldn’t think. Nick’s fingers were at his mouth. He could feel them trembling. Nick’s eyes were right on him.
“You want me to stop?” he demanded breathlessly, then grunted when Chris grabbed his jacket and hauled him forward until their lips met.
It was hot and sharp even through all the whiskey in the world. Chris opened his mouth because the pain made him want more and Nick pushed against him as if the soft sounds Chris made turned him on. Nick kept on kissing him like that, hard, like he wanted it to hurt or like he could tell how much Chris liked that it did, like he liked it too. Chris slid his hands weakly under Nick’s jacket, grasping at his body heat and his cheap tie, and angled his head back. It made the kiss deeper, made it hurt more, and Chris couldn’t stop making these noises at every little spark of pain. They all felt right.
He shut his eyes and felt Nick’s hands slide uncertainly down his chest, over his shirt and then under it. Nick pulled his mouth away from Chris’ mouth when he found the trail of hair only to immediately bite at Chris’s earlobe. That didn’t hurt at all. Chris liked that too.
“Chris.” Nick’s mouth came back over his, sweet even with the sting. His hands were all over him, big and hot under the waist of his jeans. “Chris. God.”
Chris was hard. Nick had to feel it. He was so hard he couldn’t see why he’d ever waited except for Nick’s heavy breathing and wandering hands. Except for Nick. “Nick.” He just kept saying it and Nick undid his zipper and pushed his jeans aside to cup his dick.
“Oh my God.” Chris immediately ducked his head until he smelled leather and whiskey up close, until the jacket was against his tongue when he opened his mouth to whisper. He felt like he was throbbing everywhere. “Nicky.”
He thought it was quiet, but Nick pulled his hand out of his jeans and just stood there with his chest heaving and his eyes on Chris’s body. “Nicky,” Nick repeated as if he had forgotten all about that name. Then he said it one more time, as if he wanted to hear it again. “Nicky.”
“Nicky,” Chris echoed and lifted his head back up so he could taste the skin at Nick’s throat, just above the jacket’s fur collar. Nick shuddered and got Chris against the arched wall with one shove. His pulse was fast and he was sweating under the leather; the sweat was salty on his skin. Even that burned. It made Chris hum, made Nick whisper what sounded like apologies against Chris’ throat as Nick worked his hand under Chris’s underwear. Chris jumped at the curl of his fingers but Nick was taking his time feeling the length of his dick. He ran his thumb over the tip and ignored all of Chris’s embarrassed, desperate squirming, how he was shaking.
“Nicky.” Chris pushed forward so he could have more and not die.
“Bossy,” Nick whispered, but the word was hoarse, and then he moved, dropping out of sight, disappearing as Chris opened his eyes to find him. Then he just stared. He was so drunk this couldn’t be real.
Nick stared up at him from down on his knees. He was flushed and panting and pink so Chris put his fingers in his mouth without thinking. He withdrew them when Nick’s eyes widened.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Chris shoved his hand down his pants and squeezed so he wouldn’t come. “You like girls.” Not that he didn’t know what bi was, but what the fuck?
“I like you.” Nick glared at him while he licked his mouth, while he licked the taste of Chris’s fingers from his mouth. “Always have.” He leaned in almost killed Chris by licking tentatively at the head of his cock. He just licked it and leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment. Chris thought he was disgusted for a second until he opened his eyes and looked up. He swallowed and let his lips part. “I like you,” he said again, hotter this time.
Chris shut his eyes tight. “You dick.” Nick’s hair was between his fingers. It seemed right to use it to pull him forward, even if his legs went weak at the sound Nicky made once he got his mouth around his cock.
Weak. That was the word Nick was afraid of but that’s how Chris felt. He could barely stand and Nick’s hands slid to his hips to push him back after he choked. Choked on Chris’s dick. Chris was dreaming or dying. “Fuck, Nick I like you too. I like you… I… like you….” He was stupid. That was maybe okay.
Nick spread his fingertips over the damp skin of Chris’s hips and dug them in, eager and bruising. A second later he hooked his fingers into Chris’s belt loops and yanked him forward so that for one incredible minute it felt like Chris’s entire dick was inside Nick’s mouth as Nick swallowed and breathed heavily and moaned. Then Nick choked again, the sound wet and hot. Chris tried to move back to let him breathe, but he twisted his fingers in Chris’s belt and held him there for another few seconds, maybe as long as he could take it. He moaned again when he finally eased back.
Chris let himself be pushed away so Nick… so Nick could swallow and lick at him, and he thought that if he opened his eyes to look he’d embarrass himself on the spot.
It was just Nick’s tongue and a hint of his lips now but Chris was still going to die. This was what Nick did to all those girls, with one big difference. Chris pulled at Nick’s curls, trying to warn him that it felt too good. They were both new to this but if Nick kept on sucking him like that he was going to come.
“Nick, I….” He pushed his hips forward just a little bit and the hungry, strangled sound that Nick made as he let him do it was the hottest thing he’d ever heard. He exhaled and tensed as he came, jerking back seconds too late.
Chris opened his eyes and Nick stared back at him, red-faced and wide-eyed. There was Chris’s jizz at his mouth and at his chin. Chris was still holding onto Nick’s hair, the curls tangled tight between his fingers. Nick was looking at him as if he could have kept on doing that for hours. He looked sleepy and horny and pleased with himself. Then he blinked and Chris thought he looked more frightened than anything else. Maybe he was, because he turned his head away.
Chris took a long, deep breath. He didn’t think it was just his virginity that had made that so hot, not that he had any real way of knowing. But fuck, he wasn’t a virgin anymore because of Nick. He tugged Nick’s hair until Nick was facing him again and took one hand to pull at his t-shirt and used it to wipe at Nick’s face, though Nick swallowed before he could clean up all of it.
“Can you stand up?” Chris didn’t want to break the silence but he didn’t want to hear what Nick had to say yet. Nick inched back from him so Chris dropped his shirt and tried to stand on his own. His body was hot and heavy. “I think I’m going to fall.
Nick instantly scrambled up to his feet, getting Chris against the wall again before Chris could think to say anything about it. Chris looked up, trying to maintain eye contact but Nick aimed his gaze down at the bottle on the ground, which had landed right side up.
“I could use a drink.” The rasp in Nick’s voice was like getting blown all over again because Chris knew he’d caused it.
“Yeah okay,” he agreed dizzily because that had just happened and his body was on fire. Nick seemed hot too, so Chris put his hands on Nick underneath his jacket and pulled Nick’s shirt up from his pants, to cool him off and just to touch him. He wanted to touch Nick everywhere and hoped he could. “But first…” he muttered as Nick turned toward him. Nick looked surprised, especially when Chris kissed him.
Chris kissed him hard, as hard as Nick’s dick was for what he’d just done, which was really, awesomely hard for Chris, so hard Chris had to feel it against his palm. Nick fell against him the second Chris stuck a hand down his pants.
Nick had put his hands to the wall at some point and was still holding them up, but he started shivering when Chris pushed his tongue into his mouth and felt the slick spurts of pre-come on Nick’s boxers. The boxers clung to his dick, probably feeling rough as Chris rubbed experimentally up and down. If it hurt, Nick didn’t seem to care; he moaned into Chris’s mouth and shifted his legs apart.
That was good. Chris didn’t want to hurt him. He wanted Nick’s kiss stinging against his bottom lip and Nick’s hands bruising his hips, but he didn’t want to hurt Nicky. He wanted it to be good for him. He stroked Nick’s cock until his palm was wet and Nick was shivering uncontrollably and when that didn’t seem like enough he pulled his hand up to his mouth to lick it. He grabbed at Nick’s side with his other hand to keep him steady. Nick’s mouth stayed by his then slid to his ear.
Nick’s breath was fast, scared, as if the gentler Chris was the more he couldn’t take it. “So fucking strong. How are you so fucking strong? Chris, please. Please,” he begged and then just cried out quietly as Chris eased his boxers away to jack him. Chris liked the weight of his dick and imagined it his mouth, thought about blowing Nicky someday and making him cry out the way he was doing now for something this easy. Nick made noises like Chris had, like no one had ever touched him like this. Chris turned his head to kiss him again and Nick shuddered through his whole body.
He came almost at the same time, shooting spunk onto Chris’s hand and probably on their clothes, and then let go of the wall to stumble into Chris. He was so hot to the touch that Chris thought he might be drunk enough to pass out but he stayed on his feet, just barely, and kept his face buried in Chris’s neck.
Chris wiped his hand on his already stained shirt and then put his head back to the wall. He had to catch his breath. Nick was panting against his throat, the room was swirling, he could have gone to sleep right then, just like that, if he didn’t think they’d both fall over. He was aware of the damp skin under his fingertips and stroked carefully around Nick’s hip to his back. It brought Nick’s head up.
Nick’s mouth looked bruised, but then so did his eyes with the constant shadows under them. Nick could use some sleep too.
“Is it okay if we sit
down?” Chris wondered out loud since Nick wasn’t saying anything and Nick jerked upright only to duck at the low clearance. He grabbed at the bottle and quickly moved across to the bench. He zipped himself up as he went.
Chris remembered his open jeans at that and fixed himself up as he went over and sat down.
“Are men supposed to be this tired?” he speculated slowly and Nick gave him a funny look, clearly not getting what Chris was trying to say. A moment later he shrugged.
“If they’ve been drinking.”
“I still feel things,” Chris offered absently, barely keeping his eyes open. He was drunk but he felt all kinds of things. Nick stopped and exhaled. He looked over with a frown.
“Brave and stupid.” He hitched a breath when Chris responded by licking his swollen lip and considering the taste. He tasted like spit and blood and come and whiskey.
He swallowed and then had to clear his throat. “Is this the part where I get my heart broken?” It would be just like Nick to make him happy and then leave again.
Nick looked sideways at him and then leaned over. His hands cupped the back of Chris’s head, holding him still even though Chris wasn’t moving because Nick’s mouth was hovering above his, then sliding carefully over his lips before Nick eased back. Nick was scowling and breathing hard.
“Right now I think you’re the one person in the world I don’t want to hurt,” he muttered and closed his eyes. “Sorry.” It was a weird thing to apologize for, unless Nick was saying he was going to hurt him anyway.
Chris tensed and closed his eyes and lifted his head to blindly push their mouth together. He let Nick feel his tongue and the hot, metallic taste of his split lip and then dragged his mouth away enough to speak. His pain had Nick shaking like he wanted to come again. It was strange how much Chris got off on knowing that. “You like that though.”
He thought some people would think that it was sick, that even Nick thought that Chris should find it sick, but at the moment it didn’t seem that way. At the moment it was like Nick wanted Chris to feel, and he did, so much. He opened his eyes.