Just a Memory

by Lois Carroll

  She led the way to her office where they retrieved their jackets and coats. She pointed to a cardboard file box on top of the little refrigerator. “Those are the minutes for the Association. I have to pass them on to the new secretary tomorrow at the meeting. It would take me two trips to get them all out to my car. Could you carry the box for me?”

  “Hey, you don’t need an excuse to ask a friend for help.” The broad smile he flashed heated parts of her that no man had made feel even lukewarm for nearly a decade.

  Mac hefted the heavy box and walked with it resting on his hip. Carolyn saw a flinch of pain on his face when he lifted it, but it passed so quickly she wondered if she’d been mistaken. She followed him to the back door, turning off the lights as she went.

  “Charlie sure got this fixed in a hurry,” Mac said, noticing the new door with the heavy keyed-deadbolt lock.

  “Yes, and am I glad I don’t have to worry about the old one anymore. Now I feel safer in here at night.”

  They stepped out into the cold clear night and she turned her key in the lock. “There, all set. Thanks for bringing that box out for me, Mac. Sure it’s not too heavy?”

  “Nah.”

  Carolyn opened the passenger door of her car so he could set the box on the seat. Then with his hand on Carolyn’s elbow, he walked her around to the driver’s door and opened it. “I’ll follow you home to be sure you get there safely.”

  “Haven’t you heard? Men don’t do that sort of thing anymore. Besides, nothing is going to happen to me here. This is Lakehaven, and it’s not really very late. I’ll be just fine.”

  Mac moved his hand from her elbow along her arm to the top of her shoulder where it rested. His thumb traveled back and forth a short path on the side of her jaw. He couldn’t have more effectively stemmed her nervous flood of words if he’d shouted at her to shut up.

  “I want to see you home safely, Carolyn. That’s the old-fashioned kind of guy I am. Now please, get in your car, and I’ll be right behind you.”

  Though an unaccustomed reaction for her, she did as she was told. It had been centuries since she’d been escorted home by a date. A date? You couldn’t call a surprise pizza a date, could you? Anyway, if dates made her this nervous, she wasn’t sorry she had so few of them.

  Of course, Lakehaven wasn’t overrun by eligible men charging after her. Except for Charlie–and he didn’t count–not one had shown up today when she could have used the help. No one but Mac.

  By the time Carolyn drove up her street, she figured he’d helped because he felt sorry for her. He just wanted good community relations as the new police chief and she was part of the community, she told herself. That was all there was to it.

  She flipped on her turn signal and frowned. Don’t get to liking the attention he’s paying you, she told herself sternly as she pulled into her driveway and pressed the button to automatically open the garage door.

  When she walked out of the garage to the front door, Mac was waiting for her. She stepped up on the wide stoop in front of the door and turned back to him. They were about on the same eye level. “Thank you again for–”

  Once more, Mac’s hand stopped her in mid-sentence. His palm cradled her cheek and his thumb gently pressed on her lips this time. He stepped a little closer and put one foot up on the stoop beside where she was standing. His thumb lazily traced the edge of her lips while his gaze locked on hers.

  “That’s about the sixth time you’ve thanked me, Carolyn. Don’t you think that’s a bit much for pizza and a little help?”

  She had to smile–which was a lot better than her first inclination, which was to kiss his thumb as it tickled her lips.

  “But I have an idea,” he said suddenly. His fingers strayed back through her hair and then fell to rest on his raised thigh. “You can thank me by going out to dinner with me.”

  Carolyn’s breath escaped in a rush. “Dinner?”

  “Yeah,” he answered with a chuckle. “You know, the big meal at the end of the day that is generally something better than cold pizza in your office.”

  “Yes, I know,” she remarked with a smile.

  “I’m bunking with Hines until I find a place of my own. I don’t cook much and eating out alone isn’t much fun.”

  That certainly popped her balloon. He was just lonely. New in a strange town. Why hadn’t she thought of that? She stepped back before she made a bigger fool of herself.

  “Yeah. And tables for one always seem to be in front of the kitchen door.” Oh, shut up while you’re ahead, Carolyn. Now he’ll think you’re a social outcast.

  She hoped he didn’t see her hand shake as she tried to fit the key into the lock. Carolyn opened the door and reached in to turn on the porch light. She turned back to respond about dinner when she heard light running footsteps coming across the lawn. Backing up to hold the storm door open with her hip, she looked at Mac who watched Terri’s approach. She bit down on her bottom lip and wondered if she should have said something about her daughter at the shop.

  “Mommy, Mommy, Christie and me had hot dogs for dinner. How come you were so late?” Terri called as she crossed the distance from her best friend’s house next door at top speed.

  “Christie and I,” Carolyn corrected, giving her daughter a hug. “I had hot dogs.”

  “You did too?”

  Carolyn heard Mac’s soft chuckle.

  “I’m sorry it took me longer tonight. Some work came up that I just had to finish,” she said, skirting Terri’s question. She looked at Mac over Terri’s head and shook her head without Terri noticing. Mac seemed to understand she didn’t want to talk about what had happened at the store. “I worked late and then I ate dinner with my new friend,” she added, glancing up at Mac.

  Terri turned to look at the man standing on the sidewalk. “Are you the friend my mom ate with?”

  Mac nodded, but Carolyn didn’t give him a chance to speak. She put her arm around Terri’s shoulder. “This is my new friend, Mr. Macdonald,” she said. “Come on. Let’s all get in out of the cold.”

  Terri stepped into the front hall and proceeded to take her coat off. Carolyn turned to Mac who hadn’t moved, but was watching Terri. “Would you like to come in and meet my daughter?”

  Chapter Four

  The strange look on Mac’s face made Carolyn wish she’d said something about Terri earlier while they were eating pizza. She’d started to, but the subject changed and she never got around to mentioning it. Or had she avoided mentioning that she was a mother? Had she wanted to enjoy the time with Mac in a completely carefree manner, without the responsibilities they each bore coming into it?

  She had to admit she hadn’t tried very hard to tell him she had a child. He said he was in town temporarily. He would probably leave and never meet Terri. And Carolyn had enjoyed their time together. Just for a while, there in her tiny office with Mac, she had felt young and carefree again–able to enjoy the attentions of a handsome man without the real world intruding.

  Was that wrong?

  She drew her lower lip into her mouth and bit down on it. Mac stepped in past her, closed the inside door, and leaned against it. Terri hung her coat in the closet on the hook Carolyn had installed low enough for her to reach. She turned back to openly study Mac.

  “Terri, Mr. Macdonald is the new Acting Chief of Police here in Lakehaven.”

  “Are you really a policeman?” Terri asked excitedly.

  Mac glanced at Carolyn and then looked back at her daughter. “Ah, yes. I’m a policeman,” he said as he hunkered down to be on a level with Terri.

  “I’ve never met a policeman except one who came to school once.”

  Mac chuckled. “I think that’s good.”

  “Do you carry a gun and everything?”

  “When I need to,” he answered after another quick glance at Carolyn.

  “Are you arresting my mom? Is that why you’re here?”

  “No, honey, I’m just here to see that your mom got home safely
.”

  Terri looked up at her mom with a surprised look on her face. Of course Terri knew nothing about the breakin, and Carolyn didn’t want Mac’s comments to make Terri worry about her when Carolyn was out and had to come home alone. She smiled reassuringly. “That’s his way of saying he wanted to talk to me a little longer, that’s all.”

  Terri turned back to Mac. “My mom gets herself home okay all the time.”

  Mac grinned. “I’m sure she does. You’re a very pretty little girl, but I bet everyone tells you that.”

  Terri giggled. “Does everyone tell you you’re handsome?” she asked earnestly.

  Mac laughed out loud. “No, I can’t remember anyone saying that.”

  “I think he’s very handsome, don’t you, Mommy?” Terri asked, turning to look up at Carolyn.

  Carolyn looked from her to Mac and back again. She felt heat rising into her cheeks and wished she could end the conversation about Mac. She smiled, but didn’t get a chance to speak before Mac did.

  “Terri, may I ask how old you are?”

  “I just turned seven on October tenth. You should have come to my party. It was fun.”

  “I’m sorry I missed it,” Mac said. He rose to stand beside her.

  Carolyn became aware of how tall and muscular he was. The entrance hall felt smaller than ever with the three of them standing there.

  “Do you want to see my gerbils? Mom gave me the greatest cage. It’s got a wheel that they run around and everything.”

  Suddenly, she wasn’t comfortable with Terri giving Mac a tour of her bedroom. She suspected her own bedroom would be the next spot Terri would want to show him. No way was Carolyn ready for that.

  “Maybe some other time, Terri,” Carolyn urged. “Mr. Macdonald just came in to say hello, and it’s time for you to get ready for bed now anyway. Tomorrow’s a school day.”

  The child groaned. “I hope you’ll come back soon,” Terri told Mac. “I don’t have a daddy. Do you have any kids?”

  “No, honey. I don’t,” Mac said, grinning broadly. When Terri followed up her question with another one asking if he was married, he laughed. “No, I’m not. Are you?”

  Terri giggled. “No. I’m too little. And my mom’s not married either.”

  The temperature of Carolyn’s cheeks rose sharply. “Bedtime, sweetie.”

  Terri’s smile disappeared as she turned to Carolyn. “I’m going,” she said dully. But her face brightened once more when she looked back at Mac. “He’s nice, isn’t he, Mommy?”

  Carolyn smiled and put her hands on Terri’s shoulders to turn her toward her bedroom. “Yes, Mr. Macdonald is a nice man, Terri. Now you scoot. Go get ready for your bath.”

  Terri said goodbye to Mac over her shoulder and scurried down the hall to do as she was told.

  “Good night, Terri,” Mac called after her. He shook his head and looked back at Carolyn. “Another ten years and she’ll be a knockout.”

  “Don’t remind me,” she responded, rolling her eyes upward.

  Mac smiled and then shook his head. “I haven’t had much experience with a kid like her. The ones I’ve run into were mostly delinquents.”

  Carolyn didn’t know what to say. She bit down on her lower lip.

  “Well, I’ll be going. Thanks for sharing my pizza.”

  “I’m the one who should thank you–for all your help at the shop.” She leaned toward him and added in a whisper, “and for not mentioning to Terri what happened.”

  “No problem. So, what about going out for a real dinner?” he added, looking down the hall where Terri had disappeared.

  “Well, I’ll have to get a sitter,” Carolyn said hesitantly.

  “We’ll go for something better than a cold pizza. You can tell me where the good restaurants are in the area.”

  “Are you taking my mommy out to dinner?” Terri asked from the hall where she appeared suddenly. She’d apparently made no progress toward getting ready for her bath except removing her shoes. Carolyn felt certain she’d been listening to her conversation with Mac.

  “I will if she’d like to go.”

  “Oh, yes!” Terri said excitedly. “Mommy wants to go. I know she does. Don’t you, Mommy? Please!”

  “Whoa!” Carolyn told her. “I’d like to make up my own mind, thank you very much, Little Miss Social Secretary.”

  “Don’t you want to go out with him, Mom? You said he’s nice.”

  “Yes, he’s very nice. Now you–”

  “And I think he’s handsome. Don’t you?”

  Carolyn looked at Mac to see he was enjoying every minute of the dialogue between Terri and her embarrassed mother. She groaned. “Yes, he’s handsome,” she said to Terri before she turned back to Mac. “I give up, Mac. I’d love to go to dinner with you, but can we decide when and where at another time?”

  Mac lost his struggle for composure and laughed. “Sure, Carolyn. Bye, little one. Sweet dreams.” Mac’s gaze moved over Carolyn. “Sweet dreams to your mommy, too.”

  Carolyn returned his gaze and couldn’t look away. “Thanks,” she said, feeling butterfly wings fluttering in her stomach.

  He was the one to break the tenuous bond between them by opening the door and stepping out on to the stoop. “Be sure to lock your door.”

  “I will,” she promised. He nodded and walked toward his car. “Good night,” she called out, realizing she didn’t want their time together to end.

  Terri called her good night and Mac waved before he climbed into his car. Carolyn closed the door and depressed the lock on the knob as well as hooking the chain lock.

  “There. All set,” she said to a grinning Terri. “Now scoot. There’s just time for a quick bath for you before you have to jump into bed.”

  Terri skipped along, singing, “Mommy’s got a da-ate! Mommy’s got a da-ate!”

  Shaking her head, Carolyn hung up her coat and followed her daughter down the hall to the bathroom. She took a deep breath and started running the warm water. She knew she was in for more urging from Terri to find her a daddy, a nice and handsome one like Mac.

  For the first time since Richard’s death, she was ready to give it serious thought.

  Mac heard the lock of Carolyn’s door snap into position. But damn it, he was the one who’d snapped. Here he was in this burg only three weeks and already he was getting involved with a woman. A woman with a kid, no less. What was he thinking? He was doing exactly what he knew he should not do.

  When he’d touched her hair moments before, he discovered it was just as soft as he thought it would be. Men here aren’t just nuts, he thought. They are downright stupid if they aren’t interested in her.

  Mac drove straight for the apartment he shared with Hines. He found Hines with his feet up on the steamer trunk that passed as a coffee table, a beer in his hand, and Monday night football on the television.

  “There’s pizza left in the fridge if you want some,” Hines said, his eyes never leaving the screen.

  “No, but a beer sounds good as soon as I change.”

  In jeans and a sweatshirt, Mac popped the top on a beer and stretched out at the other end of the couch while Hines filled him in on the progress of the game.

  “You were slipping today, Hines,” Mac said nonchalantly while still watching the game. “Funny how you didn’t remember to tell me all the facts you gathered at the costume shop.”

  “Huh? Whatcha talking about, man?”

  “The one specific detail that you left out of your report.”

  The sudden grin appearing on Hines’s face told Mac that he knew what Mac was talking about. But he still feigned ignorance.

  “You called her Mrs. and I know you meant to make me think she was married.”

  “You might have thought I was encouraging you to make a move on her. Instead, you managed that all on your own. So…how was your pizza supper with the nice Widow Blake? You appeared a bit uneasy at the pizza place while you waited for it to bake.” Mac frowned and Hines raised his ha
nd to defend against a forthcoming argument. “Not that Ellie and I weren’t happy to have you sit at our table and annoy us while you waited.”

  “So what’s with you, out with Ellie?”

  “Oh, no, you don’t. You can’t change the subject, man. We were talking about your evening with the lovely Widow Blake.”

  “Hell. My taking pizza up there was no big deal. We ate the pizza and I helped a little in the store so she could go home. End of story.” Mac watched the TV in silence a few moments and then added, “But I did learn something else about her that wasn’t in your report either.”

  “Like what?”

  “She’s got a kid.”

  “A kid? I didn’t know she had a kid,” Hines responded with surprise.

  “Yeah, and I don’t know a thing about kids.”

  “Get outta here, man! I’ve seen you with Sam’s kids. You’re great with them. They treat you like their favorite uncle.”

  Mac shrugged and then rubbed his shoulder when a pain shot through it. The mention of his late partner’s family halted the conversation. They watched as play on TV resumed.

  “I probably don’t have to ask, but has any more of your memory come back?” Hines asked during the next commercial.

  “You’re right. You don’t have to ask ‘cause you’ll know when it does.”

  Hines nodded and pulled on his beer.

  The four musketeers…where were they all now? Mac and Hines were still cops, but in Lakehaven, not Albany or New York City. Hines’s partner was home on disability retirement after his leg was shot up too bad to ever work right again. And Mac’s partner–the man he had known so well and had trusted with his life? Dead.

  Three months had passed and it still felt as if the shooting was yesterday. It shouldn’t still bother Mac like this, he knew, but it did. He knew it would continue to affect him until the whole thing was settled. Mac was impatient for that time to come.