by Hilary Wilde
Jan looked and through the heat haze could just see the ^.island. Then the road they were on straightened and | ahead of her she saw a house, a single-storied Colonial-I type house with pillars to support the roof of the verandah g that ran all the way round. It was built on a mound, over| looking another lagoon. | "There's no channel out of this lagoon, so we can't use Kit," Barry told her. "Anyway, it's better this way. Keeps I the house quiet, way the master likes it." I, The master, the master, always the master, Jan thought l.impatiently. Doesn't anyone else matter? For the first time Jisince she left Sydney, she thought of Jarvis's mother and Ihiew a twinge of anxiety. What sort of woman would |Mrs. Fairlie be? she wondered. Friendly? Or reserved? ^Perhaps critical? Or even disapproving? | "It's a beautiful house," Jan admitted almost reluct|antly as the carriage stopped. The front door opened and I a dark-skinned woman in a blue frock and starched white |; apron came outside to collect the luggage and lead the | way in. Barry hesitated. I "You'll be glad to have a shower and a rest, Miss Shaw. {I'll see you later. Okay?" '< "Okay," Jan agreed, a little puzzled, for after all, she : was Mrs. Fairlie's guest, not the master's, so why should it be 'okay' to see Barry later? She followed the maid into a lofty cool hall, bracing herself for the meeting that lay ahead. They walked down a corridor, then the woman opened a door and stood back. Jan walked through and saw, to her surprise, that she was in a bedroom, a lovely room with one wall all glass, giving a wonderful view of the blue lagoon with the palm trees bending by it, as if to drink the water. A room luxuriously furnished, the bed covered with a pale yellow silk bedspread which matched the long curtains, a polished floor with a deep green rug by the side of the bed. Somehow she had expected to be shown into a lounge, or perhaps, in a house like this, it would be ' called a 'drawing-room*, where Mrs. Fairlie would be waiting for her. 27
She glanced round. Her cases had been placed on a "ss-a^i ^a>aA, !as maid -went and opened a door, standing back and beckoning to Jan. It was a small bathroom with a shower. Jan smiled at her. "Thanks, I do feel like a shower." Perhaps she hadn't understood Barry Ryder, when he surprised her by saying 'a shower and a rest'. Maybe she was expected to take both before meeting Jarvis's mother. That made sense in this hot country, Jan thought. As the maid turned away, Jan realised she had not understood a word she had said. Once alone, Jan stripped quickly. She was hot and sticky. A cool shower certainly helped. When she came out of the bathroom the cover had been taken off the bed, the single sheet turned back. She saw, also, that her suitcase had been unpacked, the clothes hung in the wardrobe. She pulled on her thin coral-coloured dressing-gown and lay on top of the sheet. The wide verandah shut out the glare of the sunshine and sleep overtook Jan. When she awoke, some hours later, she was startled at the time. How very rude Mrs. Fairlie would think her! Hastily she had another shower which did a lot to remove her drowsiness and dressed carefully, choosing a ^simple pink frock with a gold chain belt and matching sandals. She brushed her hair carefully, twisting it round her head like a turban. She used make-up very lightly, for she wanted to make a good impression and maybe Jarvis's mother was oldfashioned. If she was anything like her brother-in-law, Jan _ thought, she would be! At last she was ready. Trying not to feel nervous, she went into the hall. Everything was quiet, and still. Strangely, almost ominously still, she thoughtand then told herself she was being absurd. Perhaps on the island they had the same sort of siesta people had in Spain. Maybe she was too early.... All the doors in the long hall and corridor were 28
closed and she didn't like to open any of them, so she went back into her bedroom and out on to the verandah through the trench doors. Here it was still hot but no longer so humid.The utter beauty of the scene enthralled her and she stood still, staring at the natural grace of the palm trees round the lagoon. She could see the haze hiding Timton Island in the distance and, oddly, no longer felt so alone. She walked along the verandah, giving furtive glances at the rooms she passed. She could see into each room, and each room was empty. They were beautifully furnished rooms. There was a dining-room with an oval mahogany table and a beautiful siddboard, carved meticulously; and a ^drawing-room with satinwood furniture and tapestries on the walls. There were also several bedrooms, each as luxurious as her own. But not a single person. There were chairs round a table on the verandah so she sat down, puzzled, still a little uneasy, for it all had a nightmare quality, unreal, as if.... She heard the soft pad of shoes on the boards of the verandah and the maid stood there. She held out a note. "Me Lucy;" she said, and turned away. "Thank you, Lucy," Jan said, smiling, grateful for even this tiny bit of communication. She opened the. note and read it quickly. ^ "The master has phoned and will join you tomorrow night. He asked me to send you his apologies and hopes you will have a good rest. Unfortunately I can't see you tonight, but will tomorrow." It was signed Barry Ryder.Puzzled, Jan reread the note. It didn't make sense, she thought, for why a quoted phone message? If Ludovic Fairlie could phone the island, why couldn't he have spoken to her? And what could be the reason ; Barry Ryder could not see her that night? She wondered; after all, why should he see her, anyway, for I she was Mrs. Fab-lie's guest? I 29
She decided to explore the house. There was no sign of anyone and at one end of the hall was a baize-covered door. It was locked. She knocked on it, but no one answered. She wondered where it led to. In the drawing-room, she found some .books. There were a few modern novels, but none that interested her. However, she couldn't just sit and stare at the lagoon, she decided, so she chose a book and went and sat outside on the verandah again. The time dragged by and the sun went down. The house was suddenly ablaze with electric light and Jan went inside. She sat down in the empty drawingroom and waited. Where was Mrs. Fairlie? Surely she would soon be there; she couldn't rest for ever. _ But Mrs. Fairlie did not come. Lucy came instead, ringing a little bell and led the way to the diningroom. Jan ate alone, a tasty well-cooked meal of chicken, and ice-cream which she enjoyed, followed by coffee. She went back to the drawing-room, bewildered, not sure what to do, for Mrs. Fairlie must be somewhere. _ Lucy was no help. Jan had said slowly, half a dozen times : "Mrs. Fairlie. Mrs. Fairlie." But^the dark face had showed no understanding, so Jan tried something -else. "The master ... the master...." She was rewarded. Lucy's face split up into a smile, her teeth very white. "Yes, yes, the master. Good. The master. Good. Tomorrow . . . tomorrow," she said, and left the room. Jan sighed. That hadn't got her very far, had it? And why, if Lucy understood the words the master, had she failed to understand Mrs. Fairlie? The night was so quietan occasional thud from outside but otherwise still. A fabulous crescent moon, golden in the dark sky, spreading a swathe of golden lava on the calm lagoon. So very lovely.... 30
Somehow it made Jan think of George and she felt the tears returning. Hastily she showered, pulled on her pale pink shortie pyjamas and scrambled into bed. She wept, but not for long. She had expected a restless, unhappy, perhaps fearful night, for she had never felt so alone before, but instead she slept well, only waking when Lucy called her with a tray of fried eggs and bacon, toast and marmalade, and coffee. "Morning. Eat," Lucy said, and beamed. "Thank you." Jan realised with surprise that she was hungry. After showering, she dressed. This time she wore a pale yellow frock and went out on to the verandah. The sun was very bright and the heat oppressive. She sat down and stared at the blue water. How still everything was, she thought, and the silence went on and on. Even Lucy made no sound as she glided along the floor. Jan felt distuiibed, for surely you don't invite someone to stay with you and then not be there? she thought worriedly. There wasn't even a message. At the same time, she could feel some of the tenseness leaving her limbs as she looked about her, for it was so beautiful, so incredibly peaceful. Remembering the rat race of Sydney, where you fought to get on a bus, or forced your way along George Street through the lunch-hour crowds, it seemed impossible to believe that there could be places like this, she thought. Here everything was not only lovely but so blissfully quiet. A place where you could think.
Now, relaxed and alone, she could look back down the years and remember that she had always been the quiet girl, while Felicity was gay, ambitious and beautiful, the daughter who did things and who didn't sit back and wait, retreating behind Frank, Jan realised. Perhaps that was why she felt so alone now. Frank had been like her, in so many waysshy, finding it hard to mix; perhaps he had been as grateful for her friendship as she had been for his. Life had gone 3i
smoothly, seemed so perfect until one day she woke up and saw him as he really was: a childhood friend. She had told him nervously, afraid of hurting him, and had been even more hurt when he agreed and she knew he didn't love her, either. He had provided the security she needed. ^ Jan leaned back on the chair, her feet up, a delicious ^drowsiness seeping through her, as she went on thinking about the past; perhaps being frank with herself for the first time. Was it surprising, she asked herself, if on coming out to Australia, where Felicity had Jarvis and soon made friends, Jan had found herself caught up in a new loneliness? A loneliness of being unloved. No mum to rush home tono Frank next door to go to if she wanted to see a certain film or felt like dancing. She was completely alone, she had relt. Small wonder that George had seemed like the answer to her prayer. It had all been her fault, she thought, and not George's, for she had been in the right mood for him. Flattered by his attention, thrilled because for once the girls in the office envied her, it had all gone to her head. Perhaps that was why she had built it up into a bigger emotional relationship than George had had in muuL Maybe that was why his tactful handling of the situation had hurt her far more than it would have done, normally. Well, all that was in the past and the sooner she forgot George, with his intriguing smile, that smooth charm, the better. She jumped up. The perspiration broke out all over her. Showering, she told herself, was the only answer, so she went to her room. Later she went to sit down again, wondering when Mrs. Fairlie would appear. Was thiscould this be a deliberate act? Was Jarvis's mother being rude on purpose, to make it plain that Jan was an unwelcome guest? But if so, why had Mrs. Fairlie invited her in the first place? And then she thought of something else; could it have been Ludovic Fairlie's idea? Was it 32 all a lie, Mrs. Fan-lie's invitation? Yet how could it be, for there had been the letter from Mrs. Fairlie herself. Jan suddenly felt the silence was too much for her, so she went out into the sunshine, feeling the heat burning her face and arms. The garden was beautiful. Never before had she seen such colours as the wild purple of the climbing plants, the pale pink of the hibiscus flowers, the deep red of poinsettias with their quaintly pointed branches, looking more like dancers than bushes. Despite the heat, she wandered down on to the soft sand, near the water. There were fascinating tiny pools in which brightly coloured, strange shaped little fish swam. Here there was so much colour that it was vivid, eye-catching, and yet somehow harmonised by the pale blue cloudless sky and the incredible loveliness of the sea. Maybe that was why she was feeling happier, she thought, as she strolled back to me house, realising it would be foolish to stay in the sunshine too long. Perhaps the beauty around her was enveloping her, even comforting her, reassuring her about the future. She no longer felt afraid, nor did the silence of the empty 'house alarm her. Instead she welcomed it. Everything was so still and quiet with no one to hurt her, just herself. As she sat on the verandah, she suddenly understood everything. Ludovic Fairlie would be there that evening, bringing his sister-in-law with him. That would explain his apologies and her absence. Perhaps they , had planned this visit so that Mrs. Fairlie and her beloved Jarvis's 'girl-friend' could be alone in this intimate stillness and so grow to know one another far better than they could ever have done in the noise and crowds of Sydney. Soon Ludovic Fairlie and his sisterin-law would be with her and this beautiful peace would have gone, so why not enjoy it now? she asked herself. Lucy arrived with a jug of iced lemon and a glass. "Eat. Soon," said Lucy, looking proud of her English. 33
Jan smiled back, wondering how hard Lucy's own language would be to learn. She ate the salmon and salad with enjoyment and was startled when Barry Ryder joined her afterwards. He seemed stiff and unfriendly, but very politetoo polite, so Jan wondered if she had unconsciously offended him. She had already learned how sensitive Australians were and how often they failed to understand English humour. She told him of her walk in the garden. "You keep it beautifully." "It's my job." "The whole island is so lovely," she went on, refusing to be snubbed. "I'm longing to explore it." "It's for the master to show you," Barry said coldly. Jan stared at him. Had he a wife? she wondered. Everything in the house was so still, so silent. It was almost as if no one dared make a sound. Was that the effect the master had on them? Even when he wasn't there? she thought. And why, if Barry had a wife, who lived in the house, surely she could have welcomed Jan, even talked to her a little, asking if everything was all right? Jan thought. Barry himself seemed to act strangely at times, so perhaps his wife was the same. He could be friendly and then quite suddenly his voice became formal, almost stiff. There was something funny somewhere. And then Barry spoke, almost as if he could read her thoughts. "My wife and I have our own self-contained flat in the house, but keep to ourselves. The master likes it that way," he said. "And so do we," he added, but in such a way that Jan wondered if he was telling the whole truth. "The master sounds an impossible man," Jan said. "Why is it always what he likes?" 34
"He pays the bills." Barry stood up, giving her an odd little smile and turning to go. "Barry, please . . ." Jan put her hand to stop him "where is Mrs. Fairlie?" He looked surprised at the question. "Out on one of her trips, of course. That's where she is mostly, you know." Then he hurried away. But she didn't know, Jan thought, as she watched him go. Out on one of her trips, Barry had said of Mrs. Fairlie. Trips? What trips? Jan wondered. Still, that added up to what she had thought and accepted. When Ludovic Fairlie arrived, he would bring his sister-in-law with him. Jan was sitting on the verandah when Ludovic Fairlie arrived. She was totally unprepared, for somehow she had expected to see the carriage, so she sat still, just .staring at the white horse that came trotting along the earth road, with Ludovic on his back. Jan's first thought was where was Mrs. Fairlie? And then Ludovic was off his horse as a small boy came running to take the horse away, and Ludovic was walking towards herjust as she remembered him, tall, broad-shouldered, with that rather amused, condescending smile. "Settled in all right?" he asked, standing by her side. "What do you think of it?" His voice was friendly and she reacted unconsciously. "I think it's fabulous. I've never seen any place so beautiful," she told him warmly."I'm glad you like it." He smiled ait her. "Mind if I shower and change into something cooler?" "Of course not," she said; He must be hot, she thought, in that neat dark suit. When he had gone, she sat very still, her hands folded neatly in her lap, but her brain seemed in a 35 turmoil. She just couldn't understand it. Where was Mrs. Fairlie? After all, Jan thought, Mrs. Fairlie was supposed to be her hostess. Supposed to be...? The words stayed in her mind. Yet it didn't make sense. Why should Ludovic Fairlie want to get her here? Why ... Life seemed to be full of that question: 'Why?' she thought, when Ludovic returned, cool, his hair still wet from the shower, his suit replaced by thin khaki shorts and open-necked shirt. Lucy came hurrying with a tray and cold drinks, and Ludovic relaxed in a low wicker chair with a sigh of relief. "I always feel happy here," he said. Jan stared at him. How content he looked, how different from the stern unfriendly man who had called at her flat. "You don't find it too quiet?" she asked him. He turned his head. "Certainly not. Here I can think. Do you find it quiet? Too quiet?" "I did at first," she confessed. "It was sort of eerie. No one to talk to ... no one at all ... ." She looked at him. "I haven't met Mrs. Fairlie yet". He looked amused. "Haven't you? Oh dear, my sister-in-law is so unstable. She's probably on one of her tours and has forgotten about you. But she'll be back soon. You'll meet her, don't worry." Jan felt a sudden stirring inside of annoyance. "I should hope so, seeing she invited me here!" she began. Ludovic was packing his pipe. What long fingers he h
ad, she thought, what strong hands. Somehow he looked like an outdoor man, not an executive of a big stockbrokers. Executive and probably chief stockholder, she thought, for he must be very wealthy to be able to fly up here for a quiet weekend and have such a lovely place. It must cost a fortune to run this 36
island . . . and those cars, and he was sure to have his own plane. Now he looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "I think it's best that we be frank, Jan." She was startled, for his voice had changed. It had lost the warm friendliness and become the harsh voice he had used when he called at her flat. "Frank?" she echoed. He nodded. "Yes, frank. I want you to know that while we have nothing against you as a person, both Jarvis's mother and I strongly disapprove of this romance. Of any romance where Jarvis is concerned, I must add." Jan twisted her fingers together tightly. "Surely Jarvis is old enough...." . "That's the point. He's not! He may be twenty years old, but he's immature and definitely not ready for marriage." He paused and she just stopped herself from nodding, for she was in complete agreement. Jarvis was young, far too young for the responsibilities of being a husband, and perhaps later, a father. But she could not admit this or Ludovic might get suspicious, and _ as long as she could let him believe that she was Jarvis's 'love' it gave Jarvis freedom to be in love with Felicity. "Jarvis is like his fathermy brother. Weak, easily fooled, enjoys life and expects everything to be handed to him in a silver platter...." Ludovic went on, his voice stern. "Jarvis never bothered to work at school. I doubt if he works at the university." He put up his hand as Jan began to speak. "Let me finish. His mother is anxious about him. Jarvis's father broke her : heart with his irresponsible, behaviour. Our firm nearly ' went bankrupt because of his lack of knowledge and ^ complete indifference. Jarvis will eventually inherit the | business, but he has to be trained so that he can run it I correctly. That's why it's vitally important that he pass I his exams." II 37