“It’s a little funny.”
Katalina flopped back with a sigh. “What were you doing, anyway?”
“Going to sleep.”
“What made you think you could just climb in bed with me?”
“Well, you are my mate. I’ve been out running for most the night. I just wanted to curl up next to you and sleep.”
Katalina wanted to be mad at him, but her heart melted at his words. She loved to see the soft, loving side of him, the part that needed her more than anything else. To the outside world, he was formal, polite. Only Katalina saw his funny, caring side.
She pulled the covers back. “Come on then.”
He was about to climb back under the covers when his head angled to the door. She heard it the second after he did; someone was walking toward her room. Their eyes met and then Bass was gone. Katalina pulled the covers up to her chin, closing her eyes just as her door opened. She kept still. Listening for the moment her aunt left. “Kat?” her aunt whispered from the doorway. She stood there a moment longer before closing the door again, and returning back to bed.
When the house fell silent, Katalina let out her breath and rolled over. Half-sitting up, she scanned her room for Bass; at first glance, she couldn’t see him, but then when she really looked, using her wolf senses, she could see him in the far corner of her room, hidden in shadows. He would be invisible to the human eye.
“Sometimes I think you become a shadow yourself,” she whispered as he stepped into the moonlight.
A smile lit his face, all charm with just the slightest touch of wickedness. “Now, where were we?”
She pulled the covers back again. “I think I was inviting you into my bed.” She looked up at him through long lashes, feeling suddenly shy.
His eyes softened, the wicked edge of his smile changing to warmth and love. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against his body. “Good night, my beautiful Katalina,” he murmured against her bare shoulder, placing a soft kiss over her tingling skin.
Katalina closed her eyes and relaxed into his hold. Her mind and her soul released its tension as she became surrounded by his smell, his warmth, and his love. In his arms, nothing could touch her and everything was right in the world.
Chapter 15
When Katalina woke, she lay for a few blissful seconds, allowing happiness to trickle through her. She smiled at Bass’s sleeping face so close to hers, at his legs tangled around her, his arms holding her so gently. In those few seconds, her life was perfect, but then the memories returned. She’d buried her parents yesterday. She’d been threatened by Jackson’s enforcers.
Trying to calm the growing tension within her, she sucked in a deep breath, and focused on Bass’s face. He looked so peaceful in sleep; he looked his age. She constantly had to remind herself he was only a year older than her. He always seemed so much older. The way he talked and the view he had on the world was one of an older person. She wondered if it was merely because he was a shifter, or maybe the way he’d been brought up.
He stirred in his sleep, a slight frown marring his perfect forehead. Katalina glanced at the clock; it was only six a.m. Bass had been asleep for only a few hours. She didn’t want to wake him yet. Gently slipping out of his hold, she threw on her robe and crept out of the room.
The house was silent, but as she walked into the living room, she saw she wasn’t the only person awake.
“Hey,” she said to her aunt, as she headed to the kitchen. “Drink?”
“Nope, still full.” She lifted her mug, not taking her eyes off the paperwork scattered around her.
Katalina made her cup of tea and then sat opposite her aunt.
“When are you heading home? Dillon must be missing you.”
Her aunt paused and smiled but still didn’t look at Katalina. “Yes, he does. Today I hope, if I can sort through all of this first.”
Katalina took a sip of her tea and then looked at the papers all over the table; bills, letters, words she didn’t understand.
“What is all this?”
“Nothing for you to worry about, Kat.”
“Aunt Susan?”
Her aunt sighed and put down the papers in her hands. “I’m afraid your parents weren’t very prepared.”
“What do you mean?”
“The life insurance they had doesn’t cover the mortgage. I suppose they didn’t plan on leaving so early. They’ve a small sum of savings that was for your college fund, but that’s it, Kat. Looking at all this, I can’t find any way out of selling the house.”
“What?” Katalina choked on the word. “But this is my home.”
“I know, Kat, but there is no other way. You’ll have to come live with me, or your grandma.”
Tears fill Katalina’s eyes. She gulped back the lump in her throat. “But all my memories are here. I’ve lost Mom and Dad. I can’t lose my memories too.”
“Oh, sweetie,”—her aunt stood and came around to Katalina, taking her into her arms“—“no one can ever take your memories away. Memories are how we live on. Your parents will never truly be gone because they’ll live on in you. In the way you act, the things you do, they’ll have influenced you. Your memories are locked up here, Kat,”—she pointed a finger to her head, “—“forever in your mind. It doesn’t matter where you live.”
Katalina nodded, scared to talk in case opening her mouth would set lose the tidal wave of tears inside of her.
“You two girls are up early,” her grandma said as she walked past them.
Katalina’s aunt pulled away from Katalina and sat back in her seat. “Trying to get the rest of this paperwork sorted for you before I leave this afternoon.”
“And you, Kat?” her grandma asked.
Katalina took a deep breath before answering, “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Well, might as well wake up Sebastian. We can all have breakfast together.” grandma started to walk out of the kitchen.
Katalina jumped from her chair, knocking it to the floor. “I’ll get him, Gram,” she called, running after her.
“Don’t be silly, dear. I’ll knock first.”
Katalina’s heart hammered in her chest and she felt slightly woozy, her mind rattled searched for some explanation, as to why he wasn’t in his bed, but hers. She came up empty, all she could do was stand by looking stupid, waiting for the arguments to come.
Her grandmother knocked on his door. “Sebastian dear, I’m making breakfast,” she said through the door.
There was no answer.
Oh, God…oh, God…oh, God!
She knocked again.
“He must be asleep, Gram. Leave him.”
Her grandma turned and looked at her. “Katalina, what has gotten into you?”
“Just leave him!”
The door opened and Bass stepped out, dressed. “Did someone say breakfast?”
Katalina nearly collapsed to the floor in relief.
As they followed her grandma back toward the kitchen, Bass leaned toward Katalina speaking in a voice so low only she could hear, “Shifter hearing, remember?”
The morning had gone by in a blur. Katalina’s aunt had finished all she needed and given Katalina’s grandmother instructions. She was packing her things into her car while Katalina stood by the window staring outside. She wasn’t really watching her aunt, but staring off into the world, not taking anything in. The sky was filled with angry clouds in the distance. They were growing by the minute. A wind had picked up, whipping her aunt’s auburn hair around in the air as she loaded her last suitcase.
Katalina thought the weather matched her mood. Her growing anger toward the universe and the fate she’d been given grew by the day. She knew it was only a matter of time until she reached her limit. Katalina wasn’t sure what she’d do when she was pushed to breaking point. She was no longer sure who she was anymore; a shifter and yet she didn’t really feel like one at all. Yes, she was gifted with new senses and strengths but they didn’t feel like a part of her
. She wasn’t natural in her skin like Bass. She couldn’t hear with the ears of a wolf without thinking; she wasn’t fearless and brave.
Katalina felt like a stranger in her own skin, an imposter. She wasn’t special. She was as ordinary as they came. She’d never been popular or the smartest in school. She’d just been Kat; the adopted kid with the strange hair. She’d give anything to turn back the clock and be that girl again, to have her parents and to feel safe, but she’d been living a borrowed life. It had never really been hers. She’d always been different, always deep down been a shifter. The problem was she was still the strange kid in this new world. She still didn’t belong. She was a shifter and yet she wasn’t. She still felt like she was living a borrowed life.
“It’s going to be okay, Katalina.”
Katalina turned into Bass’s embrace. She buried her head into his chest and breathed in the wild scent of him.
“How do you know?” she whispered.
“Because I do. Do you trust me?”
Tilting her head up, she looked into his eyes. They were strong and fearless. “Yes,” she answered.
“Then trust that everything will work out. That you’ll end up where you're supposed to be, and one day, you’ll be happy again. I still remember my mom, you know. I remember her smile and the way she used to tuck me into bed every night. I miss her every day. The part of my heart where she belonged will always be empty. The pain of her absence will always be there, but with time, I’ve learnt to live with my loss, to find the good in my life and hang onto it with all I’ve got. One day, it will get better. You just need to find the good to hang onto, to get you through.”
Katalina tightened her hold and buried her head back into his chest. Find the good to hang onto. She was hanging on and she never planned to let go.
Her aunt cleared her throat from behind them. Reluctantly, Katalina pulled back but she didn’t let go of her grip on Bass’s hand. “Are you going now?” she asked her aunt.
“Yes, looks like a storm’s coming in. I’d like to be on the road before it hits.”
“Be careful.”
Her aunt held out her arms for a hug and Katalina felt like a little girl again as she went into them.
“I will, Kat. I’ll see you soon, okay,” she murmured into Katalina’s hair.
Katalina pulled back from the hug. “Tell Dillon I said hello.”
Aunt Susan nodded at Katalina before her eyes rested on Bass across the room. “It was nice to meet you, Bass. You be careful with this one’s heart. It’s been battered enough.”
“I will,” Bass replied, unfazed.
Katalina watched as her aunt walked out the door, her grandmother following behind, and a shiver of dread roll down her spine. She wasn’t quite sure what brought on the feeling, but then her wolf pushed against her skin, reminding her of who she now was. Her aunt was just going home. She’d see her again, but with each brush of fur, Katalina couldn’t help thinking she didn’t belong in this world anymore, no matter how hard she clung onto it.
Chapter 16
“Would you mind cutting some wood for me please, Sebastian?” Katalina’s grandmother asked when she returned back inside. “That storm looks like it’s going to be pretty nasty and we are nearly out.”
“Not a problem at all.”
Bass walked to the front door and slipped his feet inside his boots.
“Are you not going to put on a jacket, dear? It’s pretty chilly out there.”
Bass’s hand paused on the door handle. He turned with a smile. “I’ll be fine. I don’t feel the cold.”
Katalina followed him, putting her coat on as she passed the coat rack. She sat on a bench in the garden and watched him as he swung an axe over and over, the loud crack of wood splitting echoing around them. His lean muscles flexed beneath his tight jumper, his dark hair ruffled by the wind. Bass was all fine lines and chiseled muscle, a lethal wild animal wearing a civilized mask. Most people looked at Bass and saw a handsome young man, with a warm smile and good manners, but Katalina saw all of him: the vulnerable boy who’d lost his mom and the fierce, loyal wolf who lived barely contained beneath the surface. She saw the smile he had only for her and she’d witnessed the lines he’d crossed to protect her.
“What was it like growing up as a wolf?” she asked.
He didn’t pause as he spoke, but his voice traveled over the sound of splitting wood. “The Dark Shadows are an unforgiving pack. Only the strongest survive amongst them. It was hard. My father loved me but he didn’t hold onto the good around him; he hung onto the pain. I remember the man he was, before my mother’s death, and then I remember the man who raised me. Dark Shadow changed after such a loss and I don’t think the pack ever recovered. I learned to fight at a young age. I learned that the people my age feared me. I learned to rely on only myself.”
“That sounds awful,” Katalina whispered, wanting to reach out and hold him, the pain in his voice, physically hurting her.
“I didn’t know any different, but I had my grandmother. My father’s mother was kind and loving. She showed me the beauty of being a shifter. Shifters can be loyal creatures. When we love someone, we’ll do everything in our power to make them happy. It was hard growing up as a Dark Shadow, but I wouldn’t change it.”
“What about your mother’s family?”
“My grandfathers died before I was born, both fighting, and my mother’s mother went to sleep one day and never woke up. Her heart was broken from losing my mother.”
“I think I’m pleased Jackson gave me away,” she whispered, looking off into the distance.
Bass stopped, the axe landed to on the ground with a thud. “We could change the way things are.”
“Is that what you want from me?”
“No, I just want to make you happy.” He walked toward her, the love, the strength in his eyes too much for Katalina to bear. She glanced away feeling unworthy. She was such a mess, her emotions all over the place, while Bass was so caring and understanding. He deserved someone who could accept who they were, someone who would run with him at night.
“I’m lost. I’m not sure who I am or what will make me happy,” she admitted, looking down.
His hand grazed along her jaw. “You’ll find your way, and I’ll be next to you every step of the way.”
He walked toward the house, his arms full of wood.
“What about your home, Bass. Don’t you miss your home, your grandmother?”
“She died last year. You’re my home now, Katalina Winter.”
Katalina sat for a long time outside on the bench. Bass walked back for wood a few times but never interrupted her. She wasn’t thinking, not really. Questions swirled around in her mind, but she couldn’t focus on a single one. Her mind was a jumble of new information, questions with no answers, and questions with answers she didn’t like. Her eyes stared off into the distance not taking in one particular thing.
The storm had made its way across the sky while she sat outside. Snow fell around her, thick and fast. It tangled into her hair and landed on her face, melting from the warmth of her skin. She stood, looking at the wonder around her. Her feet moved before she realized and her arms spread wide as she spun around. Her head tipped back to the sky and her coat flew out behind her as she laughed at her silliness. Katalina opened her eyes as she spun and noticed Bass stood watching. His hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, he wore a breathtaking smile.
She stopped, his beauty causing her to fixate intently on him. How could someone so perfect, so loyal, belong to her?
Find what makes you happy.
Sebastian Evernight made her happy. She just wasn’t sure she belonged in his world.
Chapter 17
The storm outside passed but the storm inside Katalina only grew. The nervousness waiting for Jackson to send more men, made her not able to ever fully relax. Bass. She spent her days inside the house with Bass and her grandmother, avoiding the questions she wasn’t ready to hear the answers fo
r yet.
Her grandmother tried to stay out of their way, knowing Katalina hadn’t come to terms with everything. Her grandmother had been packing things into boxes for the last few days, and it was something that Katalina tried not to focus on. She’d wanted nothing more than to escape Jackson’s and go home, yet now, she was beginning to see that it was the people who made a home, not the place, and her home was dead.
Most days rushed by in a blur. She felt adrift, struggling against an unforgiving current. Most days, she only just kept her head above the water, but then there was Bass, a constant presence keeping her breathing, holding back the inevitable fall.
She wanted to be with him, more than anything, but she knew deep down he didn’t belong in this world she was clinging to. He was a wolf at heart, his spirit free; he belonged in the wilderness, as wild and dangerous as him. He never said a word. He simply stayed by her side as if he planned to live forever in Katalina’s parents’ house while sneaking out at night to let his wolf roam. Katalina had no answers. She wasn’t sure if she could ever fully accept her wolf-half, and she wasn’t sure if she could live in the world Bass belonged to. Instead, she pushed the questions away, hiding and hoping that she’d never reach the point where she’d have a choice to make.
“Kat?” her grandmother said one morning.
“Hmm?” Katalina replied as she stuffed cereal into her mouth.
“I’m going to be gone for a night, two at most.”
Katalina put down her spoon, turning to look at her grandmother. “Where are you going?”
“Well, I’ve got some items to take to Susan and I want to store your parents’ belongings at my house. I know I’m only an hour away but I’d rather stop overnight and rest.”
“Why are you taking their things?” Her heart raced, her skin turning clammy.
“Darling, I know you’ve been trying to ignore the fact I’m packing up the house, but I just can’t afford to keep this house any longer than I have to. I need to have everything cleared and ready to put it on the market.”
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