by Carrie Quest
“I should have put you first, Piper. I’ve regretted it since you hung up on me and I wish I’d skipped that competition. I wish I’d never set foot in Japan. You have no idea how much. I used to dream about it all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’d dream about waking up with you, in a big bed with white sheets. We were in a hotel in Paris with one of those iron balconies, and I’d wake up before you, every time, and watch you sleeping, waiting for you to open your eyes and smile at me.”
I glance down at the candle and my eyes fill with tears, making everything sparkle.
“I would have loved that so much,” I say. “But it wasn’t all your fault. I shouldn’t have made you choose. I’m sorry.”
He searches my face for a moment, like he’s waiting for more, and I have to remind myself to breathe. Fuck. Why is this so hard for me to say?
Because you failed. And you’re terrified that it’s going to happen again.
“And I’m sorry about not giving you a chance to explain when you got back,” I finally choke out. “I owed you more than silence.”
I should probably say more, but Adam seems satisfied because he grabs my hand and holds on tight. We stare at each other for a minute, lost in the past, until the waiter clears his throat.
“Another beer?” he asks.
“Yes, please,” I say, still holding Adam’s gaze. Another beer is definitely going to be necessary if I want to get through this conversation.
“I have a question,” I say.
“About Japan?”
I shake my head. “About that summer. I know you apologized, and I appreciate it, but I still don’t understand why you didn’t let me help you, even if you had to go.”
He presses his lips together. “I didn’t want to be your patient, Piper. I wanted to be the guy who took care of you, who made you laugh…” He flashes me a smile that’s pure sex. “Who made you scream.”
“I wanted that too.”
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t give it to you then.”
He stops talking and the silence fills up with what he can’t—or won’t—say. That he still can’t be that guy, not in Colorado. Not for me. Not unless I can figure out a way to make it happen.
“Did I push you too hard?” My voice is tiny, so low and soft that he has to lean forward to hear me. The hair peeking out from under his beanie dips dangerously close to the candle and I move it out of the way.
“What do you mean?”
I pause, not sure I really want to know the answer to the question that’s been haunting me. Then I push ahead, feeling even more vulnerable than I did last night when I was blind and naked and spread out on the bed in front of him. Because what I’m asking for now is a glimpse of myself through Adam’s eyes, and he has always been able to see into the heart of me.
“Was it my fault you left? Did I try too hard to fix you and not hard enough to love you?”
I hold my breath as I wait for his answer. Luckily, he doesn’t have to think about it for long.
“No,” he says. “Oh, Piper. No.”
He comes around the table and slides onto the bench on my side of the booth, pulling me into his arms.
“You couldn’t have done anything to get me to stay. Not unless you could stop winter, and that would be a tough one, even for you.”
“Are you sure?”
He kisses the top of my head. “Of course. I was a mess, Pipes, and I didn’t want to drag you down with me. I knew you cared about me, but I also knew you deserved more. You still do.”
He holds me close for a few more minutes, then slowly lets me go.
“You still okay with all this?”
I clear my throat. “With what?”
He gestures between us. “You and me. The Olympics.”
I grit my teeth and reach under the table to pinch my thigh. The pain helps me focus enough to swallow down the sobs fighting to get out.
“Absolutely,” I say. I grab my glass and hold it up in a toast. “To us.”
He clinks his beer against mine. “To us.” My chest hurts, like a giant fist just punched through my breastbone and is slowly squeezing my heart. The waiter brings our food and drinks, but I don’t thank him. I barely even notice. My mind is gone—brain whirring and spinning in circles as I try to come up with a plan to fix this. There has to be a way. Something I haven’t thought of yet. Because this is Adam—my Adam—finally sitting in front of me after all these years, offering me everything I ever wanted.
He excuses himself, and I fight the urge to pull a pen and paper out of my bag and start making lists. Maybe I could defer for a year and give him some more time to heal.
Shit. That prickle of fear is back, teasing and toying with me. Am I really considering this? Changing everything in my life for a guy?
Not just any guy. Adam.
But not even Adam can protect me from himself, and I swore a long time ago not to depend on anyone else. Parents get sick or drop out emotionally when they’re going through their own shit. Brothers leave, and boyfriends get on planes to Japan. The only person I can absolutely count on is me.
But damn, sometimes I get tired and lonely. Sometimes all I want is to let someone else hold me up for a while, and it seems like Adam wants to do that. He came through last night and I know he loves me. Maybe he’ll keep coming through. Maybe this time he’ll stay.
I glance up and see him coming back, cutting through the clumps of tables, his stride quick and sure. He sees me watching him and smiles, that private smile just for me. A twist of his lush lips and a glint in his eye that’s full of naughty promises.
All my plans fly out of my head and I let them go. I’ve got time, after all. Acres of time. I’ll think of something, and in the meantime, I’ll make sure he can’t see exactly how hard I’m falling.
He slides in across from me and all of a sudden, it’s easy. We laugh and tease each other and reminisce. We’re careful at first, both of us afraid of poking unhealed wounds, but soon enough he’s got me roaring. There are so many things only the two of us remember—secrets and experiences nobody else will ever understand.
It’s perfect, and when we finally walk out into the snowy night, I take his hand with no hesitation and start pulling him toward home.
16
Adam
Piper grabs my hand, tugging me down the path, but after a few minutes I plant my feet and yank her back. Snow is falling thick and fast and the fat, fluffy flakes are tangled in Piper’s eyelashes when she turns to me. I reach out and rub them gently way with my thumbs, then cradle her face in my hands.
She throws herself at me and I catch her, lifting her up so we’re face to face and I can rub the tip of my freezing nose against hers. I didn’t know I needed to clear the air about everything quite this badly, but the feeling of peace thrumming through me right now is proof that the guilt and anger I was carrying were a hell of a lot heavier than I thought.
“Please take me home now,” she says. She’s shivering in my arms and her teeth are chattering, and I want to wrap her up and keep her warm and safe. If I could, I’d go back and shelter her from all the pain she’s ever faced. Especially the pain I caused.
When we get home, we’re both freezing, and as soon as we hit the warmth of the house, the snowflakes on Piper’s hair melt into a river of icy water dripping down her back. She’s trembling as I take off her soaked hat and drop it into the kitchen sink, then pull off her jacket. I rub her hands between mine to warm them up, and she smiles, her teeth still clattering together.
“Do you want some cocoa?”
She shakes her head and winces when more cold water slides down the back of her shirt. “I want a hot bath.”
“You wait here, and I’ll get it started for you.” I grab a blanket from the back of the sofa and try to wrap it around her, but she shrugs it off.
“I want to take a bath with you,” she tells me.
Oh. I close my eyes and instantly see Piper in a bath full of
bubbles, her hair slicked back, her cheeks flushed, her breasts bobbing to the surface of the water.
My blood rushes south so fast that I sway on my feet, honestly, because when I open my eyes, Piper is looking at me with concern.
“Are you okay?”
I swallow hard. “I will be.”
“Come on then.” She holds out her hand and my heart is beating so hard I swear my dick is jumping up and down with the rhythm of it. To be with Piper—to be inside Piper—is exactly what I’ve wanted for so long. And if last night proved anything, it’s that my body is ready to go. Beyond ready.
She leads me down the stairs and turns on the water, fiddling around with the taps to get everything right and giving me a spectacular view of her ass in the process. It’s lush and round and ripe and fuck fuck fuck, maybe I should go into my room and jerk off before we strip down because otherwise I’m not even going to live up to last night’s three stroke blowjob.
But I’m sure as hell going to try.
She dumps in some bath shit that smells like flowers and the water starts foaming up. The room is getting steamy and hot, too hot for a guy still in a winter hat and coat, that’s for damn sure. Sweat is trickling down my back and the sight of Piper grabbing the hem of her shirt so she can whip it over her head isn’t exactly cooling me off.
Quite the opposite.
The shirt hits the floor and then she undoes the button on her jeans in one quick snap, pushes them down, and kicks them away. Then she’s in front of me, close enough to touch, wearing only a lacy white bra and matching panties.
“You’re overdressed,” she tells me.
“Am I?” My voice is so hoarse that I don’t even recognize it.
The water streams into the bath, frothing up even more bubbles, and steam is rising from the surface, wreathing around Piper and turning her cheeks a rosy shade of pink.
“Your eyes are going dark,” I say.
“Really?” She smiles, and I take a step closer to get a better look.
“Yeah. Usually they’re lighter, like a pale winter sky, with flecks of darker color. But they go the shade of denim when you’re ready.”
“Ready for what?”
I rip my eyes away from hers and let them roam down her body, biting back a moan when I see how hard and needy her nipples are, the dark pink showing through the lace. I can see the wisps of her blonde hair through her panties as well, right where I want to touch her. Right where I want to be.
“Ready for me to do this.” One more step and I’m there, pressed up against her, pulling her into my arms with a grunt that’s more caveman than modern lover. She seems to like it though because she hangs on and melts against me, opening her mouth as soon as my lips hit hers. I flick the clasp on her bra and she lets go long enough for me to pull it down her arms and throw it away. I kick off my shoes, drop my coat, and rip off my shirt, but before I have time to take anything else off she’s back, pressed up against me, so I pick her up and step into the water.
We’re kissing frantically, desperately, teeth clashing as we lick into each other’s mouths. She reaches blindly toward the tap, arm flailing, bubbles flying everywhere, until she finds it and manages to turn off the stream of water. The flood of noise stops and now I can hear her moaning and the little splashes she’s making as she climbs up to straddle me, trying to get even closer.
The bath in here is huge, with enough room for me to stretch out my legs. By myself I’d float up, but she keeps me anchored with her legs around my waist, rubbing little spirals against my dick. I reach up for her breasts, heavy and slippery with water and bubbles, and slide my hands around them. She pushes against me, wanting more, and hisses in pleasure when I pinch her nipples.
Then she moves to touch my chest and starts laughing.
“You’re still wearing your pants.”
“I couldn’t wait.”
She nips at my lips, still laughing and kisses me for a minute, humming those little happy Piper sounds that go straight to the heart of me. Then she stops and pulls away, ignoring my protests.
“I want to feel all of you.” Her eyes are hooded and her voice is husky, and hell yes, I want that too, so I let her float up so I can ditch my jeans. They’re a bitch to get off, but seeing Piper wriggling out of her panties right next to me is all the motivation I need. Water streams everywhere as we toss the rest of our clothes over the side of the tub and we’ve probably flooded the bathroom floor but neither one of us gives a fuck. She’s slippery wet in my arms and even slicker under my fingers when I reach between her legs.
She’s moaning as I slip a finger inside, and she breathes out my name when I make it two. I grind the heel of my hand against her clit, and she’s so hot and wet and tight that I could almost come from this alone, just touching her and watching her lips get soft and fall open, right before she falls apart.
“Adam,” she gasps, and her dark eyes meet mine as she starts to come, her walls fluttering weakly around the tips of my fingers at first, then tightening everywhere, spasming like her body is trying to pull me in and keep me there. Her eyes fall closed and her head tips back and her moans are echoing and bouncing off the tile floor and walls until the sight and sound and feel of her is my whole world.
She’s fucking perfect, and her coming on my hand is most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.
I cradle her close, limp and boneless against my chest, dropping gentle kisses on the top of her head and making my way slowly along her hairline. By the time I get to her ear she’s squirming a little, and when I lick along the shell and then suck her lobe into my mouth, she tightens her legs around my hips.
My dick is hard and needy between us, and I’m expecting her to reach down and grab me, but instead, she pushes up and notches me at her entrance. She lowers herself an inch and we groan into each other’s mouths as the head is enveloped in her heat.
“I want you so much,” she whispers, and sinks a little more.
And my poor messed-up brain is going haywire because I’m in Piper bare, and she’s so fucking tight and nothing has ever felt this good. Nothing.
“We need to be safe.” I can barely talk I’m panting so hard. “Let’s get out and I’ll get a condom and…”
Another inch and my thoughts are gone.
“You haven’t fooled around with anyone since you were in the hospital?”
I shake my head. “It’s only you, Piper.”
“Well, they tested you for everything in there and I know I’m clean.”
She goes lower and the urge to thrust into her is overwhelming. I want—no, I need—to push in as far as I can, to get deep enough so she’ll feel me there forever.
“And I’m on the pill.”
She sinks down until her ass hits my thighs and I’m there, in Piper, and she’s all I can see and hear and smell and touch. Then she kisses me and as soon as her taste hits my tongue, it’s over. I’m drowning in her and I don’t want to be saved.
She’s squirming against me but it’s not enough.
I rip my mouth away from hers. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“I need to move. Can I move, Piper?”
Her only answer is to grab my shoulders, so she can raise herself up and sweet Jesus drop back down, over and over again until I can’t stand it anymore. I grab her hips and start pounding up into her, and she’s gasping yes and oh please harder harder harder and I try to think about baseball stats or list all the board makes and models I’ve ridden since I was six. But nothing helps and it’s just goddamned good luck that I last long enough to feel her muscles start to grasp at my dick before I come with a rush, breathless and helpless, the electricity rushing through my body until I feel it everywhere.
We float there, me still inside her, exchanging lazy kisses until the bubbles fizz out and the water starts to go cold. Then we dry each other off; gentle, loving strokes with soft towels, and tumble into bed. The sheets are silky and the bed is warm, and when Piper’s breathing slows and
she falls asleep with her head on my chest, I’m so fucking happy that I have to pinch myself, because how can this be real?
17
Piper
“You slept with Adam, didn’t you?”
Nat’s been in the house exactly two minutes before she’s figured me out. This is what comes from having a super smart best friend. And the poker face of a toddler.
It’s good to see her. I’m sure she’d rather be traveling to Korea with Ben, but he and the team have a bunch of bonding and publicity stuff during this last week, so Nat and I are flying overseas together and we’ll meet Ben and Adam there.
“Don’t even try to lie about it.” She drops her bag in the middle of the hallway and pulls me over to the sofa. Actually, it’s more like she yanks my arm so hard that the rest of my body has no choice but to stumble along after it.
“It’s a good thing I’m going to be a trained physio someday,” I say, rubbing my shoulder.
She waves her hand, dismissing my pain and suffering. “Spill, Piper. Tell me what happened.”
I grin and shake my head. “I want to hear about your trip first. How was the conference? Are you all set for the book release next month?”
I already preordered copies of her books at all the local stores and from most online retailers, but I cannot wait to walk into the Boulder Bookstore with Nat and take a picture of us grinning when we spot her book on the shelf. I had a My Bestie Wrote This! shirt made and everything.
“It was great. Met writers. Made friends. Saw editor. Did revisions.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. Unless you want to hear about how I bonked your brother?”
I narrow my eyes. “How many times do we need to go over this? No bonk talk.”
“Fine. Then I guess we’ve covered all my news. Let’s move on to you. Go.”