“You have no idea,” Lucy responded just as playfully, but when she looked up her eyes were unbelievably earnest. “Sam?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“Thank you for being sweet to me.”
“I care about you.” Sam kissed her delicately before turning Lucy around to spoon her from behind. She took her hand and held it, covering Lucy’s heart with their interlaced fingers.
Lucy brought Sam’s hand to her lips and kissed it before returning it to her chest. “I care about you too.”
Sam smiled into Lucy’s hair. It wasn’t I love you, but it sure felt like it.
Chapter Thirteen
The smell of morning coffee wafted from the vendors that lined the short crosstown walk from Meg’s bus stop to her office on Manhattan’s East Side. Back in the day, she and Sasha walked these same blocks a hundred times over. She didn’t know why that memory came to her just now, but decided not to stress it. Instead she indulged herself reminiscing all the times Sasha fell prey to this very coffee cart on the corner of Fifty-Third and Third. They had gigantic coffee rolls and Sasha had a sweet tooth she caved to daily. It was amazing Sasha wasn’t a thousand pounds with all the junk food she ate.
Reaching into her satchel for her phone, Meg’s heart beat fast as she banged away on the keypad. She had been looking for an excuse to communicate since last week’s trivia event. This was pretty weak. She went for it anyway.
How are you surviving without the coffee rolls from the stand outside Sullivan?
The response was immediate. I’m not.
OMG, you’re dying? she typed, but then scrutinized her own words. It seemed insensitive considering Sasha’s mother had died only a little over a year ago. She deleted it. Do you still come over this way to get them? She was genuinely curious, but as she looked the question over it sounded like an invite. Erasing it, she took another stab. Should I have one sent to your apartment? She shrugged. Fuck it. She pressed the send arrow before wimping out.
Um…yes, please. More bubbles appeared before she could respond. Even better, hand deliver it! I have coffee…
Meg smiled. LOL, she answered. Nice, safe, noncommittal.
So that’s a no?
I’m at work sadly.
Boo. Only a second passed before another message appeared. And who are you kidding? You’re not sad. You love it there.
Sasha knew her too well. I know. But I have a meeting at Dillinger Pharmco this afternoon and I’m really not ready for it.
You’ll be fine. You always are. The sentence was punctuated with a smiley face and Meg thought they might be done, but then another text appeared right away. Hey, Dillinger’s HQ is right over by Hunter College, right? I have class later. Any chance you’re free for lunch?
Meg frowned even as she tried to mentally juggle her schedule. She’d been balancing a heavy client load in the hopes of garnering a promotion that rarely went to an associate at her level. Today was jam-packed. Preliminary prep work to square away a small project she’d just been assigned, a think tank meeting with the senior staff and Anne at ten, and then the Dillinger meeting at two. She was going to need every free minute between now and then to be a hundred and ten percent ready. There was just no way.
Sorry, swamped today.
Too bad. Oh, well, if you need to kill any time, I’ll be over in the library studying away. Good luck today!
Meg racked her brain for a good response but nothing came to her. She scrolled the emoji keypad instead, her eyes drawn to hearts, smiles, and kissy-faces. What the eff? She shook her head at herself for even considering any of them, but let herself slide just as quickly. Yeah, she still thought of Sasha sometimes. Maybe even fantasized they were still together on occasion. That was normal. It wasn’t so very long ago she’d been head over heels for this girl. Like, stop the presses, call your mother, rent a skywriter in love. It was completely rational to have some residual feelings, and the other night at Lucy’s proved they still had some connection. What did any of it mean? She had no idea. It was entirely likely they were simply friends and what they were doing here, now, was nice and adult and responsible.
Yep, it sure was. She zeroed in on the thumbs-up emoji and stared at its curled fist and bland emotion. It was…utterly platonic. In spite of her gut reaction, she selected and sent it before she could come up with a plausible reason to go with her earlier choices. She watched it bounce onto the thread full of the promise of bright yellow friendship and felt her heart sink at the implication.
*****
Sasha put her feet up on the small circular table two feet in front of her cozy chair in her favorite corner of the library, rolling a few strands of her long hair between her fingers as she scrutinized for split ends.
“Studying hard?”
Meg’s voice came out in a sarcastic whisper and Sasha bit her bottom lip but it did nothing to suppress the smile quickly spreading across her face. “What are you doing here?” She shook her head a little. “I mean, I’m so glad,” she said holding her palms up in confusion. “But how?”
“The magic of an alumni ID. My meeting ended early. It’s too late to go back to the office. A little too early to go home.” Meg’s smirk looked a touch guilt-ridden. “Thought I’d bug you for a few minutes. I took a shot that I’d find you in here.” She looked around the expansive stacks. “It was easier than I thought.”
“You know me. I’m going to find a nook and settle in.”
Meg fanned her hand over Sasha’s personal effects—her bag, shoes, laptop, and various study materials spread over the small corner. “You do have a way of making yourself right at home.”
Sasha twisted her mouth to the side. “I spend a lot of time here.”
“What are you studying?”
“Just reading for history of urban education. I have class in a little while.”
“I can get out of your way. Just wanted to say hi.”
“No. Stay.” She heard the mild pleading in her own voice but ignored it, leaning forward to move her stuff from the spare seat. “Sit. Hang out with me. Tell me about the Dillinger meeting.”
Meg dropped into the cushioned chair and stretched her arms above her head. “It was good.” She let out a long breath. “Short but intense.”
“Things are good at Sullivan?”
Meg smiled. “They are. Doug Patterson left. Like, retired.” She raised her eyebrows. “There’s some interesting things taking shape.”
Sasha leaned forward and touched Meg’s leg. “Oh my God, you’re going to get promoted.”
“I mean, not to partner, obviously. But there’s some movement happening, a senior associate spot that will open up.” She clenched her teeth and crossed her fingers. “I’m hoping.”
“It’s yours.” Sasha gave a little rub where her hand was still resting on Meg’s thigh. She knew it was gratuitous, but figured it could pass as positive reinforcement. Honestly, she couldn’t care less if it didn’t. She wanted to touch Meg. “You are the best consultant there. Everyone knows it.”
“Thanks, Sash.” Meg shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Sasha knew even though she was dead on, Meg would never admit it. And she remembered how much Meg hated being the focus of this kind of conversation, so she moved on.
“How was your social, the one you and Lexi were in charge of?”
“It was great.” Sasha felt a tiny flip in her stomach as she listened to Meg’s voice fill with excitement. “We didn’t really make too many changes or anything, but Sam, Lexi’s friend, the one you met at Roaring Twenties—” Meg stopped talking and squinted her eyes clearly checking if Sasha remembered who she was talking about.
“I remember,” she said.
“She’s in graphics, so she redid the website and linked the announcement to a bunch of social media platforms. We ended up getting a huge showing from some local colleges and even some new people from Jersey and Connecticut.”
The enthusiasm Meg had for Bay West made her smile. It was loyal and sweet and hon
orable, just like Meg.
“You should have come.”
That caught her off guard. “Really?” She gripped her pen tighter, feeling sweat pool in the center of her hand. “That would be okay?”
“Sure, why not?”
A million reasons filled her head, none of which she wanted to rehash in this perfect moment where they were together, connecting so nicely. It was the exact thing she needed—time alone with Meg so she could show her just how much she’d missed her, how much she wanted another chance. “Maybe next time,” she said, hoping the opportunity would come sooner rather than later. They talked for a while longer until she either had to blow off class or get her butt there in a hurry.
“I should go,” she said with half a frown.
“Yeah, of course,” Meg said. “What time is your class?”
“Four thirty.”
“Wow, are you going to make it?”
She nodded. Her professor was always a few minutes late anyway.
“Why didn’t you tell me to shut up? Here I am going on and on about work and Bay West and my friends and you’re about to be late for school.”
“Stop it. I love talking to you.” Sasha smiled. She wished she could stay and play with Meg all night. She didn’t want to wait until the next Bay West social to see her. She didn’t want to leave it to chance at all. “What are you doing Saturday?”
Meg looked stunned at the question, but not necessarily in a good way, so Sasha clarified immediately. “The West Side Mission is doing a big adoption event. We could use a few extra hands. Why don’t you come?” She stood to pack up her stuff. “You can use your adorable charm to sway people into fostering. Plus, as a new pet parent, you have tons of Spencer stories, I’m sure. What do you say?” she asked, lifting her eyebrows as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
“Adorable charm, huh?”
Sasha shrugged playfully. She knew it was over the top, but she wanted Meg to know she wasn’t looking entirely for friendship. “I speak the truth.” She backed away. “Seven a.m. Saturday morning. I’ll text you the address.”
“Seven?” Meg groaned loudly. “You do realize how early I’m going to have to get up.”
Sasha laughed. Gah, she wished she had the nerve to invite Meg to stay with her Friday night. But they weren’t there. In fact, they weren’t even close. If she wanted Meg, she was going to need opportunities to convince her they were meant to be. This was the first in a series of small steps, but at least it was a start. “It’s for homeless animals, Meg,” she answered, laying it on thick as she added a syrupy smile. “I’ll see you there.” She lifted her eyebrows, hoping to God she would show.
Chapter Fourteen
Sam glanced through the storefront window at the late afternoon sun shining off the midnight-blue finish of her Tahoe parked in a far spot in the lot. “It would’ve been a perfect day for a hike today. Not too hot yet. But great light.” She turned to Lucy, who was perched on the other side of the counter near the register organizing her bills. “Have you checked out the Greenbelt at all? There’s some nice trails there. Sometimes you’ll even spot a deer or two.”
“Haven’t been,” Lucy answered without looking up.
“You know there’s actually some fantastic places just an hour or so north of the city, some in Jersey too.”
“You should have gone today.” Lucy made three neat stacks. “There was no reason for you to hang out here with me all day.”
“I like being with you.” Sam reached for a small square napkin and took a pen from the pocket of her jeans. “I just wish sometimes we could go out and do stuff.”
“Me too.” Lucy let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Sam.” She glanced around the coffee shop making sure none of her customers needed attention. “This is my priority right now.”
“I know.” She bent all the way forward as she scribbled away. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I want to be with you. I want to be outside. I want it all, I guess.”
“What time are we expected at Lexi and Jesse’s?” Lucy asked.
It was almost five thirty, and there were only a few stragglers hanging around in the store. “I think the invite was for six but I’m sure anytime is fine.” She tapped the end of her pen on the counter leaning forward so she could whisper and still be heard when she spoke. Lucy caught her eye and Sam summoned her over with one finger. She gestured at the coffee shop’s customers discreetly with a nod of her head. “Can’t you just kick these guys out? Tell them you’re closing up or whatever. Then we could go to your apartment first.”
Lucy smiled but shook her head. “Babe, I can’t.” She pointed at her pile of papers. “I have stuff to do anyway. Why don’t you go without me?”
“To your apartment? Kinky.”
Lucy shook her head. “I meant to the barbecue.”
“No.” Sam pouted. “I want to go with you.”
“But you’re getting antsy. I can tell. Go now and I’ll catch up.” At Sam’s questioning look, she reassured her. “I promise, I will come as soon as I’m through here.” She leaned in close. “Everything is cleaned up. I’m just finishing my things, and if it hits seven and there’s still people here I’ll close anyway. I’ll be there at seven fifteen the latest.” Lucy leaned across and touched the back of Sam’s hand gingerly with her fingers. “You have my word.” She noticed the napkin Sam was drawing on and turned it toward her for inspection. “What is this?”
“Just playing around.”
“I like it.”
“I was thinking you could do T-shirts, mugs, stuff like that to sell here. I bet there’d be a market for it.”
“With that artwork, I’m sure you’re right.”
“Luce, you don’t have to use this. I was just messing around while I was waiting. Trying to distract myself from what I’m really thinking about.”
“Which is?” Lucy lifted one eyebrow suggestively.
Sam’s smile was hungry, impish, and full of lust. “You know what it is.”
Lucy dropped her glance but Sam saw the color flood her cheeks at her overt implication. She held the drawing with both hands. “Sam, this is really good.” She focused her attention on it. “The coffee cup, the bridge in the background. It’s perfect.” She held it between them. “Can I keep it?”
“Of course.” Sam looked right in her eyes. “I’ll make you a real one though. Like, not on a scrap of paper.”
Lucy nodded, biting her lower lip. “Come here for a second.” It came out as a half question, half command, and she followed immediately as Lucy slipped through the double doors to the back area. “You should go to the girls’ house.” Her back was to Sam as she reached in the refrigerator and took out the cannolis she had made earlier, placing them on the silver workspace next to her. “Take these with you.”
Sam walked up close to Lucy shaking her head ever so slightly. “Nope.” She leaned forward and kissed her neck, quickly working her way to her lips as she lifted her onto the counter. Lucy made a sexy noise as Sam’s kiss deepened. “You bring them. When you meet me there.” She ran her hand all the way down the front of Lucy’s body and let it slip inside the front of her pants for a fraction of a second. “This…” She withdrew her hand and leaned forward to give Lucy another searing kiss. “This we will pick up later.”
“Oh my God, I hope so.”
*****
In a way, Sam was pleased to be at Lexi and Jesse’s barbecue for a few minutes without Lucy. Not that she didn’t want to spend all her free time with her new girlfriend. But it would be nice to catch up with her friends and relax with a drink without feeling self-conscious in front of Lucy. Sam was pretty sure Lucy would be okay with her drinking, but she was happy to not have to worry about it.
“What are you so deep in thought about?” Lexi asked, placing a tray of shrimp cocktail between them as she settled into the chair next to Sam.
“Nothing. Beautiful day, huh?”
“It is.”
Lexi furrowed
her brow. “No Lucy?”
“She’ll be here.” Sam reached for a shrimp and dipped it heavily in the cocktail sauce. “She stays open until seven, even on Saturdays.”
“I’m surprised. I didn’t think she would get much business at night without a specific event.”
Sam placed the end of the tail on her napkin as she shook her head. “It makes no sense if you ask me.” She took a sip of her lager. “I get it during the school year. I know she gets a lot of students who come in to do work. But now, when it’s nearly summer?” She curled her mouth skeptically. “I don’t see the point.”
Lexi agreed with a frown. “You guys doing okay?” She was obviously picking up on the tension in Sam’s tone.
“We’re fine. It’s just frustrating sometimes.” She took her time selecting another shrimp. “I want her to hang out with all of us, plus I want to, like, go out with her. You know, hiking, and on real dates. I want her to meet my family even though they’re assholes. The stuff girlfriends do.” She washed her food down with a healthy sip of beer. “But everything is the coffee shop. Which I get, but still.”
Lexi bumped her leg with her own. “Are you bailing?”
“No.” She huffed out a laugh as she put her arm around Lexi’s chair. “The opposite. I want more of her, not less. I just needed to vent for a sec.”
“Good, because I like to see you happy,” Lexi said with a smile. “And you seem really happy these days.”
“This is very true.” Sam knew she had on a cheesy smile. “With the exception of her ridic hours, which is really small stuff in the grand scheme, we’re doing really good. Fantastic, I might even say. I like her. A lot.”
“Are you…?” Lexi let her voice trail clearly hoping Sam would finish for her, but Sam wasn’t giving in that easily.
“Am I…?” she repeated, mimicking Lexi’s tone as she pretended she had no idea what she was asking.
“Sam.” Lexi whacked her. “Don’t play. Tell me.”
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