by K. G. Reuss
“I love you, Fox.” She reached out for me and brushed her fingers against my cheek.
I flinched away from her.
“I don’t want to release everything—"
“Then don’t, Juliet. It’s that fucking easy. Your ass would burn too.”
“But I want what I want. If tearing her to bits is how I get you free of her, then I’ll do it.”
“What part of this entire thing don’t you understand, Juliet? Huh? I don’t love you. Never did. None of us do. None of us want you. We want her. We’ll never want you. Every fucking thing you do pushes us further away. You’re making it worse. Just. Stop.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “You’re going to be sorry, Fox.”
“I already am, Juliet. You’re really pushing me to my limits. Just give me the rest of the videos, and we can call it good.”
“I’ll give you the rest if you leave her and be with me. Just me and you.” She reached out for me again and took my face in her hands. “I’ll leave the others alone. I’ll leave her alone. You’ll have everything.”
“You know that won’t work, Juliet. What makes you think I’d stay once I had everything?” I asked, glaring down at her.
“Because I know you’ll love me back. I’ll be better. We’ll trust one another. It’ll be like it was with us in the beginning. Don’t you remember how we were? You used to tell me how much you cared about me. You’d kiss me and touch me and promise me things. Please, Fox. I swear on everything that I’m being honest. Just come back to me and leave her. You’ll have it all.”
“How would I know you’re not lying?”
“Because I want you,” she choked out. “I’ll give you anything if you come back to me.”
I ground my teeth as I stared down at her.
“If the baby’s yours, I won’t interfere. You can still have that.” Her hands shook as she cradled my face. “Please, Fox?”
“I need to think about it,” my voice shook as the words came out. There shouldn’t be any fucking thing to think about, but I wanted to keep Rosalie safe. I also knew trusting Juliet wouldn’t get me anywhere. I needed to hear what Rosalie wanted. She’d decide for me when she woke up. If she didn’t want me anymore, I’d walk. I’d slink back to Juliet and continue to protect Rosie. But if Rosie said she wanted me, we’d just have to figure out another way because there wasn’t a force in heaven or hell that could make me leave her side if she was in as deep as I was.
“OK,” she breathed out. “OK. Take some time. I know you’re going through a lot.”
I nodded tightly. “I’ll be in touch.” I jerked away from her before she could try to kiss me or some other bullshit and opened the door to my Jeep.
She stepped away from me and watched me close the door and buckle in. I didn’t cast her another look as I sped away.
I didn’t need to. It didn’t matter if I had to continue to eat shit for a little while longer with her. In the end, she wasn’t my future.
Rosalie was.
Six
Enzo
After the burial, we went back to my place and got my car before stopping by a flower shop where Cole grabbed a white rose for Rosalie. He’d been making it a point to bring her a rose every day. Any other time I would’ve given him shit about being such a softie, but it would be in bad taste now, considering. I figured it was an outlet for him. A way to show his affections for her. We all knew how guilty he felt about leaving when he’d heard about the baby.
When we got to the hospital, we sat in the parking lot for a bit. Cole lit up another joint and passed it to me. I took a hit and leaned back in my seat, giving it back to him. We relaxed quietly, staring out the windshield at the red brick monstrosity that housed the sick and dying. I both loved and loathed the place. For one, it saved my girl’s life and the life of one of my best friends. But I hated it too because it couldn’t make things go faster to bring them back to us.
“Fox almost lost his shit today,” Cole commented, blowing out smoke and coughing.
“I expected that. He’s been in love with Rosalie since they were kids. Knowing Ian tried to kill her plus all that other shit with the Hall family… and it was a disaster waiting to happen.”
We both grew somber again and each took another hit.
“You wonder what we’ll do if Rosalie wakes up and tells us to fuck off?” Cole asked.
“No, because I already know what I’ll do.”
“What’s that?”
“Carry her sexy ass over my shoulder to my bedroom and keep her there forever.”
Cole chuckled before he was silent for a moment. “I’m worried she won’t want me. I bailed on her when she needed me. I wouldn’t blame her. I’m a real piece of shit for doing that to her and the baby.”
I slid my gaze over to him. He stared down at his lap, his hands trembling as the small gift on his lap bounced from his twitchy movements. Today, he brought a gift with him for Rosalie in addition to the rose. I had no idea what he’d wrapped in that box, but I knew it had to be something special. Cole wasn’t the gift giving sort.
Fox and I hadn’t spent a lot of time discussing the matter of Rosalie with him. It was a touchy subject we figured he needed to address first. Anything we said would just sound like we were placating the crazy bastard.
“I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. It’s terrifying me.”
I nodded. “Same, but I know she wants us. I’m not worried. If she doesn’t, we’ll fight for her. It’s that simple.”
“Yeah. I’m going to be a dad,” he whispered. “Me. A fucking father.”
I smiled at him as his gaze met mine. “You’ll do great, man.”
“Will I? I’m a fucking mess. I didn’t even know I was capable of loving anyone other than myself until I met Rosalie. What if I fuck all this up?”
“Then you fuck it up and then do better. It’s really all any of us can do.”
“Again with your wisdom.” He shook his head. “Do you think she still wants me?” His voice became soft, his usual confident demeanor falling away to reveal the vulnerability he felt.
I hated to see him so worried and down on himself. This wasn’t Cole. He was dark and strong all the damn time. Intense. But this guy next to me? This guy was cracking and needed his girl back. Fuck, we all did. Each of has had chinks in our armor since all this shit went down.
“Without a doubt. Just know she’s been through hell. Don’t push it. I’ve already told myself she might need some time. If she does, we’ll give it to her. We’ll give her whatever she needs.”
“Would I sound like a total chicken shit if I said I’m scared to see her once she’s awake?”
“Yep.” I took another hit and blew out the smoke. “But I still love you. And she does too. You’ll see.”
Cole laughed softly and loosened his tie. “I fucking hate wearing a tie. Feels like a noose.”
“Noose. Tie. It’s all the same in my fucking world,” I grunted, staring out the window and taking another hit.
The memory of seeing Emilio and Jenson, another of my father’s men, choke a man to death with his own tie flashed through my mind. It was a blue tie with fucking yellow ducks on it. At the time, I’d thought it was absurd until I read in the paper the guy had a kid. The tie was probably a gift from his kid. I’d helped carry the body after it was over. Nothing like a little bonding time with the family and an ugly fucking memory to keep a guy warm at night.
“Let’s do this.” Cole got out of the car and ran his fingers through his hair.
I followed a moment later.
“I’m going to go see Ethan. I’ll give you some time alone with Rosalie,” I said as we stepped into the hospital lobby.
Cole nodded, the rose and gift in his hand, and got into the elevator beside me.
“You going to talk to Fox?” Cole asked as the elevator rose.
“Yeah. I’m sure he’s trying to figure out his next move, but he fucked us last time. It h
as me concerned. He loves Rosalie so much, I’m worried about what he’ll do to keep her safe, especially after all this shit happened.”
“That’s the problem, isn’t it? He’s willing to do anything to protect her.” Cole let out a sigh. “We all are."
I nodded. “I’ll talk to him. Make sure we’re all on the same page. We take down who we need to from the other notebook. Nothing more. You know the plan.”
Cole nodded tightly, a muscle popping along his jaw.
The elevator dinged, and we got off. Cole went right while I went left. The good thing was, Ethan and Rosalie were on the same floor, just at opposite ends.
“Hi,” a young nurse addressed me, her cheeks reddening as she took me in. “A-Are you family?”
“I am. I’m his brother,” I answered, looking her up and down and giving her a smile. Just because I was in love didn’t mean I’d forgotten how to bend a woman to get what I wanted. It was all innocent. I didn’t want the twenty-something nurse. “What’s your name?”
“Betsy,” she answered breathlessly. “Uh, you can go in. He’s still out.”
“Do we have any news on what’s going on? Any changes?”
“His vitals look good. The doctor wants to try to get him off the ventilator to see how he’s doing. When we did a test run with him earlier, it seemed promising.”
I nodded at her. “Should I be concerned?”
“There’s always a reason for concern. But I think after what he’s been through, he’s proven he’s a fighter. We have good medicine on our side too. I have faith in his fight and our ability to handle anything that may come up.”
I gave her another smile. “So do I.” I swiveled and went into his room, my heart clenching.
Ethan’s pale body lay on the bed, that damn machine helping him breathe. He looked like he was wired for sound. He’d lost some weight, his bulk having shrunk quite a lot in the past week. Ethan was a powerhouse. Muscles. Stamina. The past few months had taken a toll on him though. It started when Rosalie walked out on us. Now this shit happened.
I took a seat at his bedside and rested my hand over his cool one. White bandages wound their way around his wrists where he’d been cut.
My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth. Knowing what Ethan and Rosalie had been through ate at me. Had I been on the road that night with Fox and Cole, Ian wouldn’t have died. Not right then, anyway. I’d have taken him back to one of our warehouses and fucked with him until he was begging for his life. Then I would’ve cut his throat and watched him bleed out, choking on the last bit of life left in him. Cole was far too kind by ending him in such a quick way.
“Hey, E,” I greeted Ethan softly. “It’s Enzo. Cole and Fox are with Rosalie down the hall. She’s doing better. The baby is still hanging on. They’re going to let Rosalie wake up soon. The doctors said you did good on your tests today, so maybe we’ll be talking tomorrow. I hope so, man."
My breath caught in my chest as Ethan’s finger twitched beneath my hand. A first since he’d been out.
“Can you hear me?” I murmured, searching his face for any signs of him hearing me. Nothing. I cleared my throat and spoke again, “Everyone at school has been asking about you. You’re famous. I stopped in there earlier this week to pick up some assignments. You know how my mom is about education. My dad, well, you know what he thinks is important.”
Ethan’s finger quivered again. Excitement coursed through me, so I continued, “I hope you wake up tomorrow, man. We’ve missed you, E. I was so scared we were going to lose you. I prayed.” I let out a soft laugh. “You know me. I never pray.”
Another spasm, this time it was two fingers.
“Man, I can’t wait until you’re awake. Both you and Sunshine. Then we’ll all be together. We’ll put all this shit behind us. Cole and I have been talking about buying a place next to the college so we can all live together. Maybe Rosalie will get into Mayfair with us. She’s a helluva singer.” I paused, my voice cracking. “I miss her voice.”
Once again, Ethan’s fingers twitched beneath mine.
“We can help raise the baby. Cole is freaking out about becoming a dad. He’s afraid he won’t be good enough, but I know he will be. He’s a good guy.” I let out a soft laugh and wiped at my damp eyes. “Can you imagine Cole changing a diaper? I don’t think he’s thought that far ahead, but man, I can’t wait for that. It’ll be hilarious.”
I grew quiet, watching Ethan in his slumber. A soft knock on the door had me turning my head to see Fox poke his head in.
“Hey. How is he tonight?” He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
“Good. I think he can hear me. His fingers move when I talk to him.”
Fox approached the bed and settled in the chair on Ethan’s other side and rested his hand over Ethan’s.
“Hey, man. It’s Fox. I brought you a photo of Rosie. It’s on the stand beside your bed. It’s the one of her in that purple sundress you loved so much. You remember? You snapped it the day before she talked to you. Her smile is so big and beautiful in it.” Fox’s eyes lit up as he stared at me. “He did it. He moved.”
“E, can you hear us? Move your fingers twice for yes.”
We both held our breath while we awaited his reaction. A moment later, his fingers twitched twice beneath mine. I grinned at Fox.
“He can hear us.”
“Your mom left some clothes here for you yesterday. She and your dad come visit you every day. They’re always the first ones here and the last to leave. I have to force them to go home sometimes. They had to go today because your sister had her recital.” Fox studied Ethan’s face, and a small smile touched his lips. Ethan must have moved for him. “I miss you so much, Ethan. I thought we were going to lose you.” Fox’s voice cracked. “Waiting for you and Rosie to wake up is torture, and I know you need to heal. But man, I wish you guys would do it faster so I can look you in the eyes when I say I fucking love you. You’re my brother. My best friend. You’re part of our fucked-up world, and we need you back. So hurry back to us, OK? I already begged Rosie twice today. I’m not above doing it to you too.” Fox leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ethan’s hand and let out a sigh.
I remained quiet for a moment before I broke the silence. “How was Cole doing with Sunshine?”
“He’s a nervous wreck.” Fox sighed and recounted what I already knew about Cole’s worries regarding Rosalie wanting him still. “But she loves him. I know she does. We just need to get past this shitty spot, and then everything will work itself out.”
I nodded. “I suppose. I mean, we do still have the Juliet issue to deal with. I really don’t think she’s grasped the concept of fucking dying. How many times do you need to threaten bodily harm to someone before you have to follow through just to prove a point?”
Fox’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat for a moment before he spoke. “She wants me to come back. You guys will be free if I stay. She’ll keep shit hidden.”
I cocked my head at him, nausea churning in the pit of my stomach. “Would you be happy?”
He looked at me like I was nuts. “No.”
“Then why bother?”
“Because I want to protect you guys. I want to protect Rosalie’s reputation. I want to protect everything that is her. If she loses everything—”
“Fox, man, I’m going to be the voice of reason here. We don’t need protecting, and Rosalie has lost everything. Her dad is a fucking sack of shit. I mean, yeah, he’s here for her now, but if he’d let her stay home, none of this would’ve probably happened. So that relationship is already ruined. Rumors are already flying around school about what happened. Yeah, she still has her scholarship, but who fucking cares? She wants to be at Mayfair with us. Cole and I already discussed it. We’ll pay her tuition if she needs the help. It’s not even a problem. So, tell me, what has she really got to lose now?”
Fox nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right. I’m in the same mindset as Cole, I think. What if she wakes up and does
n’t want us?”
I laughed softly and looked over at Ethan. “Then Ethan is a lucky man because he gets the girl all to himself.”
His fingers jolted again.
I grinned. “Just kidding, E. I’ll fight for her.”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the corner of Ethan’s lips tried to lift up into a smile.
Seven
Cole
After Fox left me, I sat staring at Rosalie. She looked so tiny in that hospital bed. Her face was a mess of ugly purple and black bruises. Even if she were awake, I didn’t think she’d be able to open her eyes since they were still so swollen.
I leaned over and grabbed the brush her mom had left on her bedside table and gently tried to fix her hair, at least the hair I could get to. It fell just past her slender shoulders now. I smiled as a soft tendril curled around my finger. I ran it between my index finger and thumb, my gaze locked on her.
“You’re beautiful, Rosebud,” I murmured, brushing my knuckles against her jaw. “I wish you’d wake up and smile for me. I miss you so fucking much.”
I swallowed and rested my hand on hers.
“I got you a gift. Well, it’s for the baby and you.” With my other hand, I laid the box on the edge of the bed and popped the lid off. Inside was a yellow onesie with a tiny bear on the chest and a pair of matching socks.
“It’s something called a onesie and the tiniest socks I’ve ever seen. I had no idea what I was doing,” I admitted softly. “But I liked this. I thought you would too. Maybe the baby can wear it home from the hospital after she’s born.” I let out a soft laugh. “I keep thinking the baby is a girl. I’d have a queen and a little princess.” I paused for a moment, trying to get my shit together so I wasn’t blubbering like a little bitch. “I-I was thinking about names for the baby. I like Violet or Lily for a girl. Then I could have my own flower garden.” I laughed softly at how absurd my idea was. Roses and Lilies.