My ears still strained for any sound. Nothing. No lights flicked on.
I edged around the far side of the van and pulled the handle up, flinching when the cabin light came on. I opened the glove-box and pulled the gun out, shoving it into the waistband of my pants.
Then, I touched the button to turn the light off and moved to the tires. The first tire scared me half out of my skin at the loud hiss that started when I plunged the knife blade into it.
One is enough. Travis can't chase me with a flat tire. I had planned to slash all four, but I was too afraid that the noise would wake the young man that was asleep inside the house. Leaving the knife in the rubbe,r I ran to the truck and slipped into the driver's seat, the gun cold against my back.
I fumbled with the keys as I hunted frantically for the right one. Finding it, I stuck it in the ignition and turned it at the same moment I pulled my door closed. Leaving the lights off, I threw the truck into drive and pushed the gas, driving by moonlight alone.
As I pulled through the gate I cast a glance into the rear-view mirror, feeling a momentary pang of fear. Master would punish Travis severely if he came back and found me gone. Maybe kill him. I shook the thought off and looked forward. No, I had to do this. I had to protect my baby. I had to get to the police.
I didn't realize until I left the property and started down the hillside that I had been holding my breath. A light behind me came on, and I gave up on secrecy. I turned the headlights on and floored the gas pedal, gravel spinning out from under the wheels.
The drive down the hill was treacherous in the dark, even with the lights. I held tightly to the wheel, not daring to go too fast. Not that it mattered. I threw my head back and laughed as I realized that I was free. Travis couldn't come after me with a flat tire. He might run after me, but I could easily avoid him. I had his gun. I had half a tank of gas.
I'm free. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real. It couldn't really be that easy to escape. A year of captivity, and the moment he had let his guard down, I was gone.
I felt a pang at the thought of Regina, who was possibly still alive back in the barn. I will bring help, I promised her silently. I'll get help. Soon you will be free too.
I cranked the heat up, and turned the radio on. I gripped the steering wheel as I navigated the rutted dirt road, laughing hysterically.
I rolled the window down, letting the cold air wash over me. “I'm free!” I shouted to the darkness. “I'm free!”
He couldn't follow me. By the time Travis called Master and the older man could get back, I would be long gone. They wouldn't find me. They would never find me again.
No more rapes. No more rapists's babies. No more watching friends die, watching babies die, watching hope die. No more chains.
I'm freeeee!
On I drove, the jolting making my ribs scream and making me sick to my stomach, but I was too elated to throw up. I was too happy to let myself puke. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I refused to stop to let my stomach empty itself. It was time to move, not time to stop. I had to keep going. To find help.
Police. That's it. I just need to find a policeman.
After what seemed like forever, I caught sight of highway lights in the distance. With a sudden bump, I was off of the gravel and driving on smooth payment. I screamed in elation, laughing and crying at the same time.
I pulled onto the ramp and sped up. I had no idea which way I was going, but it didn't matter. I was free. No one was following me. I really had escaped.
Miles passed, and my adrenaline waned. I was in the middle of nowhere, with very few other cars on the highway and I hadn't yet seen a gas station or even a town. I had no idea how long it would be until I found civilization, and no idea how to find a policeman.
I passed a sign. For a moment the words made no sense to me, then I laughed. It was perfect.
Speed checked by radar. Speeding punishable by fines of up to $500.
So I did the obvious. I pressed the gas into the floor, watching the needle fly upward. 60...70...80. Finally I settled on 85 as a speed that would get me the attention I wanted.
It had been far too long since I had driven a vehicle. I quickly caught up to a little white car and jerked around it, my heart in my throat as I barely missed careening off of the road. The truck fishtailed wildly and I pulled on the wheel, trying desperately to straighten it out.
My crazy driving finally got me the attention I wanted. As I sped past what looked like an abandoned car parked on a turnaround, red and blue lights flashed into life.
I slowed as the cop pursued me, his sirens wailing in my ears. I pulled over onto the shoulder, bumping over the rumble strip and onto the gravel shoulder. When I finally pulled the truck into park, my heart was pounding in anticipation.
I watched as the police officer got out of his car and approached me slowly, saying something into his walkie talkie. His hand was on his gun as he walked up and tapped on my window, which I immediately rolled down.
“Ma'am, license and registration please.”
“I don't have them, officer. I...”
“Ma'am, are you aware you were going 86 in a 75 mile zone?”
“Yes, but,”
The officer's radio crackled, and he stepped away. He spoke briefly into it, and as I watched he unclipped his gun and pulled it out.
“Ma'am, I need you to step out of the vehicle please, and keep your hands in sight at all times!” The gun wasn't quite pointed at me, but it was certainly being held ready.
I stuck my hands out of the window and lifted the latch on the door. The gravel was sharp and painful on my feet.
“Now turn around, and place your hands on the vehicle.”
That was the moment that my body decided to fail me completely, and I fell to the ground as the world collapsed into darkness.
***
I am floating in a formless void. I am covered in warmth and light, bathed in a pure radiance.
“Sarah,” comes a voice from the distance.
“I'm here!” I reply.
“You have a choice now, Sarah.”
I am confused. I cannot see my body, or anything but this shimmering light. I cannot move, cannot affect the environment in any way. “What choice?”
“You stand on the cusp of two worlds. Few are given the choice to stay or to go, but to you this choice has been given. If you wish, you may pass on into your eternal reward. You may also be allowed to return back from whence you came.”
I floated, silent and considering. The thought of heaven was so tempting that it made my heart ache. No more pain, no more fear, no more suffering. I never had to know darkness again.
But....
My mind turned to Rachel, the girl I had left behind. Tanya, whose baby had died in my arms. My little boy, being raised by those who had bought him from my captors. And all the other girls, the ones who would soon be captured to endure hell on earth, the ones who had no idea what was going to happen.
I couldn't leave them behind to be hurt.
“What happens to Rachel and my baby if I go?”
“That is not for you to know. The choice you make is for yourself alone and not for others.”
“I just want to know if they'll be okay.”
“I cannot answer that.”
The choice was clear, then. I couldn't leave Rachel behind. I couldn't let the other girls be forgotten. I could not let Travis and Master hurt anyone else.
“I will go back.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then go, with grace. God has a use for you yet. Fight for us, Sarah. Find my babies. Love them. Go, my friend, and fight.”
As the voice faded away and the light and warmth receded into darkness, I realized that I recognized the voice.
It was Jenny.
Once again I was floating, but I was awake. My body was immobile, held still by something warm and comforting that flowed through my veins. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could hear, and
I could smell. I smelled lavender, the scent of Mom's shampoo. Also, the faint scent of cigar smoke and cologne. Wherever I was, it smelled like my parents.
“Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery?” I didn't recognize the voice, but he spoke my parents' names. My heart soared as I realized that they were nearby. If I could have cried, I would be sobbing.
“Hello, Doctor.” That was Mom's voice. She sounded like she had been crying. She also sounded absolutely exhausted.
“Mrs. Montgomery, I have your daughter's blood-work back. As we expected, she is severely malnourished. We are giving her what we can through the IV, but our hope is that she will wake soon and we will be able to start giving her real food. Obviously she is very underweight, and will likely need a high calorie diet for a while, but beyond that and the healing injuries that the scans showed, she looks like she is stable and likely to recover.”
“How long until she wakes up?” This was Dad's voice, baritone and warm and so achingly familiar.
“There's no way to know, but her vitals have stabilized and we have reason to believe that she will regain consciousness soon.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Mom said, and it sounded like she was about ready to lunge forward and give one of her famous hugs. If I could have laughed, I would have chuckled amidst my tears.
The doctor's voice sobered. “There was one other thing, Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery.”
“What? What is it? You said there was nothing else wrong.”
“No, it's nothing wrong, not exactly. It's just that...well,” the doctor cleared his throat. “Your daughter is pregnant.”
Mom made a strangled little noise, and started to cry.
“How far?” Dad asked.
“It looks like about six weeks. I'm very sorry.”
“Oh, honey...” Mom whispered, and I felt her fingers against my cheek. “I'm so sorry.” She kissed my forehead, and left my skin damp with her tears. Then a chair creaked as she sat back, and I felt her take my hand in hers. I wished I could squeeze it back, let her know I was here, I just couldn't move yet.
“When she wakes...do you think she will be able to tell us what happened? Will we ever know where she's been this past year?”
The doctor hesitated. “It's impossible to know until she regains consciousness. Memory loss, PTSD, emotional distress...there are many possible reactions to the trauma she has experienced. I'm sorry, but we just won't know until she wakes up.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
After a moment, I heard an angry growl from dad. “I'm gonna kill that bastard. Just let me get my hands on him. To touch our daughter...”
“Arthur!” Mom exclaimed. “Don't talk like that!”
“Amelia, I think even God would support killing a man like this. Look at what he's done to our little girl. Don't tell me you don't want to see him safely in the ground.”
“God calls us to forgive, Arthur.”
Dad's voice shook with anger. “Don't talk to me about forgiveness! There are some things that cannot be forgiven. I want to see that man burn, Amelia. I want him to hurt like he's hurt my little girl.”
***
When I was finally able to muster the strength to open my eyes, it was dark. Monitors beeped softly behind my head, wires and tubes leading to my body. There was an IV dripping fluids into my arm. The blinds were closed, and the only light was a little bulb somewhere behind my hospital bed.
Dad was sleeping propped in what looked like a very uncomfortable hospital chair. Mom was curled up asleep on a loveseat, a blanket draped over her.
The next thing I noticed was how much my body hurt. Like all of my bruises and my ribs had to remind me that they hadn't gone away yet. I felt like my entire body was covered in injuries.
I must have made a sound, because mom's eyes opened and she was at my bedside in an instant. Dad was a little slower to wake, but once he saw Mom, he quickly joined her at my side.
“Sarah? Sarah honey, can you hear me?”
Now I was finally able to cry. Tears burned on my cheeks as I reached a shaking hand to touch Mom's face, half afraid the two of them would dissolve into a dream as soon as I touched them.
Mom took my hand and pressed it to her face, sobbing and kissing my palm over and over. “Oh, Sarah. Sarah, we thought you were gone.”
I licked my cracked lips and smiled at her through my tears. “Mama.” I reached my other hand out to Dad, and he grasped it in his. My thin fingers were completely engulfed in his large, rough ones. “Daddy.”
Now Dad was crying too. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen him cry.
As I lay in that hospital bed, I knew this part of my journey was over. I had escaped. I was with my family.
I was loved, and I was free.
I was home.
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