by Holly Rayner
“I don’t know. Just don’t think of it, I guess. There’s always just so much life to get through, I hardly feel like I can breathe. There are plenty of things that I would do if I had the time, or even just the headspace to think of it.”
“You’re a single mom,” he started, attempting to soften how harsh she was being with herself. “And you have a career.”
She laughed bitterly.
“I’m a waitress.”
“The way you do it, it’s a career. Or it will be, if you let it.”
She sat, mulling his words over.
“It’s hard.”
He didn’t have anything to say that would make that anything less than true. He wanted to promise her that he could make it less hard, but remembering her reaction, and the way she had pulled away from him earlier when he had offered a step in that direction, he thought better of it.
Instead, all he could offer was agreement.
“It is.”
The words seem to settle in on her, and much of the sadness she’d been showing seemed to leave her. Not wanting to belabor the heavy moment, Kehlan turned his attention back to the game.
“Now, I’m winning, aren’t I?”
She laughed.
“Hardly.”
He looked at her with genuine confusion.
“But I have more cards.”
She laughed again.
“The point of the game is to get rid of all your cards.”
“Ah,” he said. “Then I’d better concentrate. Stop distracting me.”
He winked, and they played on.
Chapter 11
Paige
She seriously considered letting him win. That’s what you were supposed to do, wasn’t it, with the supposed frail male ego? She could think of any number of older women in the town who would advise her of that.
But she didn’t think that Kehlan was like that. If there was one advantage to being royalty, it should at least come with a pretty unassailable ego. Or, at the very least, a little maturity from having to put up with the social strangeness that he’d had to put up with his whole life.
She had tried distancing herself. It had struck her as the most responsible thing to do, but it was clear now that it hadn’t really worked. She was here with him now, completely, and there was nothing she could do about it. Now, instead of him being the distraction, the reality that he was going to leave and that she was going to be sad about it, and that was a strange turn that she was having a hard time getting used to.
Luckily, she had a full afternoon for them planned. After grabbing a bite to eat at the Coffee Cup, she took him towards the nearest lake large enough to really enjoy. The advantage of him having come at the end of the skiing season was that it was possible, if slightly unusual, to go kayaking.
And she was pleased to find that he had not done tons of kayaking when he was in school in Switzerland, so maybe she would get a chance to impress him for a change.
Even though he was fairly new to the activity, he was a quick learner. It probably helped that she had brought them to a large, easy lake with no currents or white water to be seen. It was all crystal clear, cold, gorgeous water with cove after cove for them to explore together.
After the skiing they’d done yesterday, and the hike up to the vantage point, and even the long walk she’d taken him on all around Stockton, it was peaceful to just meander their way around the lake. For the first time in her life, the bird-watching obsession that her father had tried to pass onto her came in useful, and she was able to tell Kehlan about a few of the species they saw.
“Really, Dylan knows more about it than I do,” she admitted, after Kehlan asked her what a particular pair were. “He and my dad get along great that way. He’s very into animals. Last week, he was telling me he wants to be a vet when he grows up.”
Kehlan raised his eyebrows.
“A medical man, eh? I like him already.”
Paige felt herself blush and withdraw a little. The thought of him meeting her son—the thought of how the two of them might get along—was too much. She couldn’t hope for that. She already knew that it was going to hurt when he left, but she could try not to make it hurt more by letting herself imagine them as the family they could never be.
Whatever momentary sadness or hesitation she might have felt was immediately banished by the feeling of freezing cold water hitting her face.
“What was that for?” she asked, half yelling, half laughing. He had an impish grin on his face.
“Just to bring you back from wherever you went just now.”
She looked at him incredulously.
“It’s still early spring! The water is freezing!”
His smile fixed, he started paddling away from her quickly.
“How would I know?” he called over his shoulder. “No one has splashed me.”
With that, Paige chased after him. She had years of kayaking experience to draw from, but Kehlan had already picked it up pretty well and was in perfect physical shape, so they found themselves equally matched. She got a good splash in on him, and then started paddling away from him as he had done to her, and before she knew it, Paige found herself in a cold, wet game of tag.
So intense was her concentration, both on the game and on every aspect of Kehlan, that she didn’t notice that it was getting far too dark, far too early. If Kehlan noticed, he didn’t say so, and by the time the skies opened and rendered their little competition moot, they were clear on the other side of the lake.
Wordlessly, the two of them raced towards the trail that would lead them back to the parking lot. But they were tired out from their competition, and they could only go so fast. By the time they made it to the trail, they were both soaked through to their skin.
As fast as they could, they returned their kayaks to the automated kayak rental stand at the edge of the lake. It had been there a few years, but this was the first time Paige had gotten to use it. It was some high-tech, nature-focused startup project from the city, and she’d been looking forward to getting to check it out. But by now, they were too much in a hurry to appreciate the technology.
They headed back along the trail. She saw Kehlan instinctively go to take off his jacket and offer it to her, before realizing that her usual windbreaker was much better suited to keeping out water than his fancy designer creation, so they kept going. Wordlessly, they squelched their way through the deep, thick mud back towards the car.
It was a pity they were so poorly prepared for the occasion, Paige thought, because it meant that they couldn’t really appreciate the beauty of the world around them. Possibly one disadvantage to their tour guide being too distracted by her client to do her research before deciding on the day’s activities. But it was a shame to waste the beauty. So, even though she was shivering and her teeth were chattering, she still made an effort to take in as much of the beauty of the raining world around them as she could.
Kehlan must have been doing the same thing, too, only he did it better. Not far from the trailhead where the car was parked, he held up a hand to stop her, before he started off into the bushes.
“What is it?” Paige found herself whispering, though she didn’t know why. Instead of answering, Kehlan instead walked into the bushes towards whatever he had seen or heard out there.
A minute later, he returned, something small, furry and soaking wet in his hands.
“Let’s get back to the car,” he said quietly, as though not to disturb what he held.
It was only when they were back inside the rental, dripping all over the leather upholstery, that Paige was able to get a good look at what Kehlan had plucked from the bushes.
“It’s a kitten!” she gasped. “What’s it doing all the way out here?”
Stroking its little head with his finger, he shrugged.
“I don’t know. Abandoned, or lost, I guess.”
“Not anymore.”
Paige’s certainty surprised her. Dylan had been begging for a pet for years
, but she’d always felt too overwhelmed to even entertain the thought of bringing in another living being she would have to care for and feed and worry over. But whether it was her conversation earlier with Kehlan, or the feeling that this little creature would be some lasting proof that all of this had really happened, long after the prince went back to his real life, she didn’t know.
“Kittens can’t regulate their body temperature, and this little guy is cold. If you hold him close to your chest, that’s probably our best chance of getting his body heat up until we get home and can dry him off. We can’t even feed him until we’ve done that.”
Paige nodded, unbuttoning her shirt to get the tiny creature next to her skin where she could provide him with the most warmth. She remembered Kehlan mentioning he had a childhood dream of becoming a vet—much like Dylan—and she didn’t know how he knew so much about caring for abandoned kittens, but it seemed right that he did. Kehlan and her son had that in common to bond over…but she couldn’t let her mind wander down that path again.
Kehlan drove quickly back to Paige’s house, and neither of them spoke during the journey. Both were in their own worlds, intersecting at the kitten and branching off from there, Paige figured. But when they arrived at Paige’s front door, Kehlan kept the engine running.
“You’re not coming in?”
She didn’t mean for the panic to slip into her voice the way it did. But the thought that he would leave her now, of all times, seemed impossible. She was preparing herself for it. She had been, all this time. But this timing would still have made it a cruel surprise.
Kehlan seemed almost offended at her panic.
“I will, when I’ve gone to the store. This little guy needs some supplies. Some kitten formula for sure, and some other things, I think, too. I’d go in and get dried off first, but I doubt that when I’ve gotten out of these wet clothes I’ll want to leave the house again.”
If the goal was to get the kitten warmed up, Kehlan saying things like that while she was holding him was a surefire way to do it.
Chapter 12
Kehlan
It had been a while since Kehlan had done his own shopping, and he had never done his shopping while sopping wet. It drew stares from the locals both at the pet store and the supermarket, but he didn’t mind. As an outsider, he probably would have drawn their attention anyway; that he was wet was just a little bit of bonus material for the rumor mill.
The day had been amazing, so far. Even though he was freezing cold, and soaking wet, and trying to find ingredients that didn’t exist here and making a thousand substitutions in his mind, there was still nowhere he would rather be and nothing else he would rather be doing.
For the first time in his life, the glances of those around him meant nothing to him. Not that he’d let others’ judgements get to him once he’d grown up enough not to, but being a public figure meant that, to some extent, he was always on display when he was at home. And, when he was out of the country, there was always the training to be a good, under-the-radar representative of the Al-Derran royal family. That training had happened early, and it ran deep.
And it didn’t matter. Not now. Nothing mattered but the woman waiting for him.
When he returned to the house, he found Paige and the kitten much improved in his absence. Paige had changed into dry clothes—a warm-looking sweater and some flannel pants. He knew that in a normal dating situation, this probably wouldn’t be the sexiest move, but seeing her sitting there, the now-dry kitten peeking out from under her collar, her hair still wet from their adventurous day, Kehlan found her irresistible.
But there was no time for that right now—he needed to get himself out of his wet clothes, too. He grabbed his bag from the floor by the couch, dragged himself away from the woman that everything in his body wanted to drag him towards, and went to the bathroom to dry off and slip into something legitimately comfortable, just the way she had.
When he returned, dry and in his own pajamas, he found the kitten wrapped in a warm towel and Paige puzzling over the bags he’d dropped by the door.
“There’s more than pet supplies here,” she said.
Slipping his hand through the handles of the bags, making sure that his fingers touched hers as he did, he playfully chided her.
“Nosy! You’ll ruin the surprise.”
She smiled.
“I thought I was supposed to be the one handing out surprises today.”
With a smile, Kehlan motioned his head towards the kitten.
“Oh really? And you don’t think he’s surprising?”
Paige returned his smile.
“Well, I guess you’ve got me there.”
He leaned in close as he said, “Oh, I’m quite happy to have you anywhere.”
He hadn’t meant to make a move that forward yet. He’d undone his careful plans for the evening. But even with just the touch of her hand on his as he’d picked up the bags, he’d sabotaged himself. And when he could visibly see her react to his insinuation, he knew he needed to slow things down, take a step back, and focus on the kitten they needed to take care of before they could let themselves be sidetracked with anything else.
“Come on,” he said, playfully drawing away, bags in hand. “We’ve got to build a nest for him.”
Together, as a team, they assembled a nest for the tiny creature. They put together a cardboard box that Kehlan had bought for the purpose, and filled it with towels and a hot water bottle.
Inside, in soft clothes on a cold, rainy day, Kehlan couldn’t help but feel as though they were building their own little world. And he couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like to do all of these nesting, caring things for a human baby.
He resisted the urge to tell her that whoever Dylan’s father was, he was an idiot. To leave all of this, with this woman, seemed unthinkable. But he didn’t want to ruin the mood by dredging up old wounds, so he let it go unsaid.
Kehlan checked the kitten’s temperature as they moved him from the warm towel into his new home.
“He’s warming up nicely. With any luck, he’ll be able to eat just before we do.”
“And what are we eating?” Paige asked.
He waggled a finger at her.
“Surprises, remember?”
There, leaning over the box together, their faces close together, Kehlan could have kissed her. He knew she wanted him to. He wanted to. But he had a feeling that if he did, they’d never make it to dinner.
So, he retreated to the kitchen to do his best to cool himself down, while the kitten and their dinner both warmed up.
After a short time, Paige’s curiosity must have gotten the better of her, as she came into the room and watched him cook. He could feel her eyes on him, every move he made, and every part of his body that he made it with. He liked the feeling. For all the parts of his life he’d hated being on display, this changed his mind on the act entirely.
He showed off a little. Cooking had been his passion for a brief stint in college, when he had a momentary flirtation with the idea of feeding people as an alternative to healing them. On some days, he still wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice. Today, he was very glad he had at least dabbled.
Once everything was prepared save for one pot that needed a good simmer, Kehlan and Paige turned their attention back to the kitten. He was warm enough to feed, now, and they mixed up a batch of the kitten formula Kehlan had been lucky enough to find at the only pet store in town.
It was his turn to intently watch Paige’s every move. The woman was miraculously tender and gentle with the creature as she fed him.
“You have a talent for that.”
Paige rolled her eyes.
“What I have is practice, and plenty of it.”
“I wish I’d been around back then.”
The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. Not that he wanted to—it was honest. But just as he had feared, it made Paige shrink back. Too close to the bone. To close to
implying that he would be able to stay, and that this would be able to last. He understood, now, that this was what she was shrinking from.
Partially as a distraction, and partially because he was starving, and had a feeling she probably was too, Kehlan brought dinner out onto the table.
“All right,” she said, drumming her hands on the table in front of her with anticipation. “I watched you make this. But I still have no idea what it is.”
Kehlan shrugged.
“And you would not be alone in that. Probably no one would have any idea what it is. I wanted to cook you a dish from home, but half the ingredients aren’t available here. So, I tried to recreate it with what I could find in the store. I’d say it’s Washingtonian, but inspired by Al-Derra.”
“I like it already.”
“Maybe wait until you’ve tried it before you get my hopes up too far.”
It’s a tricky thing, watching someone eat something you’ve made—especially when you’re trying to impress them. The goal is their enjoyment, but at the same time, you know that staring at them for any trace of approval or disapproval is only going to hurt your odds of them enjoying the dish. So, Kehlan did his best not to stare, and just sat on pins and needles until Paige put him out of his misery and told him it was delicious.
They ate quickly, then, and Kehlan wondered if it was because they both could feel what this evening was headed for, or if it was just because they had both, again, had such a tiring, adventurous day. But whatever the reason, soon, they were back sitting on the couch where they had spent the night before, with a new bottle of locally sourced wine open on the coffee table and filling their glasses.
They sat close together—almost as close as they had the night before. He found himself running his fingers through her still-damp hair. And every time he did, her eyes fluttered closed momentarily, as though she had to focus on the feeling of him doing so.
Kehlan had no idea what they were talking about. They were discussing little nothings. Tiny details of their lives and things they’d come across that took a back seat in both of their minds to what was in front of them.