by Sophie Hart
‘What?’ Gill asked in alarm. Even Sammy looked up from his toys, startled by Kelly’s sudden movement.
‘I just got my first ever comment on my blog. And it’s from America! Look!’
Gill was surprised to see Kelly scramble along the settee and show her iPad to Mike.
‘Brilliant, Kel, that’s excellent,’ he grinned. ‘I like the blog name too.’
Kelly looked bashful, but offered a smile in return. She’d gone for ‘Kelly’s World’, the title Mike had suggested.
‘Can I see?’ Gill asked, leaning across as Kelly shyly proffered the tablet.
The post she’d written was titled ‘My Favourite Pieces for the New Season’ and was all about ‘stylishly managing the transition into spring. Hint: layering is key’. Kelly had included some of her own items of clothing and photographed them hanging on her wardrobe door, such as her white V-neck Gap T-shirt which could be ‘layered with an oversized cardigan and chunky scarf, worn with black skinny jeans and biker boots’.
She’d asked Mike to take a photo of her wearing ‘a classic black polo neck, paired with this printed, calf-length A-line skirt from Topshop and my fave Converse trainers’, and uploaded that too. Gill thought it was a very odd combination, but there was no denying it worked on her daughter.
At the bottom, Kelly had added a handful of her ‘dream items’, with pictures of a Burberry trench coat and a Coach bag.
‘Come back next week for my vlog on spring make-up trends’, Kelly had written underneath. Gill had to admit that it looked impressive.
Finally, in the comments section below, someone had written: ‘Love your blog, you have awesome style! That skirt looks designer xoxo’
It was signed: ‘Tammy, 14, Kentucky, USA’
‘Hmm, or maybe “Darren, forty-four, in his bedroom”,’ Gill muttered darkly.
Kelly immediately snatched the iPad back from her. ‘Why do you have to spoil everything? Why can’t you just be happy for me?’
Gill instantly felt bad, seeing how upset her daughter was. ‘Kel, I didn’t mean—’
But Kelly was already out of the door, running upstairs to her bedroom.
Gill rolled her eyes at Mike, as if to say, silly teenagers, but surprisingly he didn’t seem to sympathise.
‘It was a bit much, Gill,’ he said gently. ‘She was so excited.’
‘I’m only looking out for her. Who knows what freaks are commenting on there. We don’t know if that really was fourteen-year-old Tammy from Kentucky.’
‘No, and we don’t know that it wasn’t either. But we’ve already talked about this. We’ll have to monitor as much as we can, but ultimately trust Kelly that she’s not going to do anything stupid.’
Gill sat in silence for a moment. She felt put out, but she also had a sneaking suspicion that Mike was right.
‘Okay, I’ll go up in a bit and apologise,’ Gill sighed, wondering when Mike had suddenly become such an expert at dealing with stroppy teenagers.
* * *
It was a few days later when Gill decided to log on to Kelly’s World, to see whether there were any more comments on the Spring Pieces post. There was just one – someone with the username ajhg666td, who’d written: ‘Check the crazy prices at Clothes4U, no need to spend $$$’. It was clearly spam; she’d have to let Kelly know so that she could delete it.
Kelly had, however, written a new blog post. It was called: ‘My mum is getting married, but not to my dad’.
As soon as Gill saw it, she felt an odd sensation in her stomach, as though her guts were twisting into an ever-tightening knot, her whole body on high alert. Taking a deep breath, she tried to slow her racing pulse and calm down enough to take in what she was reading:
Okay, so this blog was originally set up for me to talk about clothes and make-up and stuff, but today I’m feeling quite down so I thought I’d write about one of the big issues in my life. Hope it’s not too boring for you, I promise I’ll do that make-up vlog at the weekend!
Like the title says, my mum is getting married, but not to my dad. They split up five years ago when I was eight, and it was awful, but I still get to see my dad every couple of weekends so that’s okay. Now my mum’s met this new guy called Mike. He’s okay I suppose, but he’s not my dad. He has a really annoying daughter and I have to share a bedroom with her which is so unfair but we don’t have enough rooms in our house for me to have my own. She always steals my stuff because she doesn’t have any nice stuff of her own and mine’s better.
Mum’s really into this wedding business, which I think is stupid because she’s already done it once. She’s too old to wear a big white dress, and I don’t see the point if you’ve done it before. She wants me to a bridesmaid, but I’d better have something cool to wear. I hope I get to choose my own dress.
She’s got this woman called Julia to help her plan the wedding, and she’s asked me and my brothers and Mike’s kids to help out. I don’t know how I feel about it all. I want my mum to have a nice wedding day, but it’s all so weird. I know my mum and dad won’t get back together. They would argue all the time and anyway he’s got a new girlfriend called Joanna.
The post ended abruptly, and Gill exhaled shakily, a whole host of emotions running through her. Above all, she felt incredibly guilty that Kelly could pour her heart out online, and say things to a bunch of strangers that she couldn’t say to her own mother. Or maybe she had tried to say them, and Gill just hadn’t listened…
Scrolling down, Gill noticed that there were half a dozen comments beneath the post. With trepidation, she read on:
Stop whining! You’re lucky enough to have a Mum and Dad – Emma, Torquay, UK
Weddings are great, so much fun!!! And two families means two sets of presents at Christmas time ☺☺☺ – Saffron, 15, London / Didcot
How will your dress be like? Maybe you wear black in a protest? – Rock Star Wannabe, Germany
I think your mum sounds awful marrying this Mike that you don’t like. She should think about her kids and not herself. I hate my stepdad too, I wish my mum had never married him, now she never spends any time with me – Anonymous
my auntie natalie got married in las vegas. it looked amazeballs, but i wasn’t allowed to go. we stayed up really late and watched it on skype – danielle,12, hull
Gill drank her tea without really being aware of what she was doing, surprised to find that the mug was suddenly empty. Sam was watching cartoons next door, and Gill was vaguely aware that she had to leave soon to drop him at nursery before she went to work. Right now, her head was spinning.
She’d always been aware that Kelly had an issue with her marrying Mike, but they’d never properly talked about it, with Gill burying her head in the sand and hoping it was a phase that Kelly would grow out of once she’d got to know him better. Any time that the subject did come up, it would descend into an argument, and usually ended with Kelly storming out of the room and slamming the door – something she seemed to do on a regular basis.
Gill’s life had been so busy since she’d split up with Ian – adjusting to being a single mum, then meeting Mike and taking on this enormous blended family – and she realised that she’d used her hectic schedule as an excuse to avoid sitting down and having a heart-to-heart with her daughter. She saw now that that had been a huge error of judgement on her part. It was heartbreaking that Kelly had felt more able to share her feelings online than with her mum.
Gill read through the post once again, biting her lip as she felt the tears threatening. Her gaze fell on the comments box at the bottom, and without giving herself time to think, she began to type:
I think your mum loves you very much, even though you might not always realise it. Maybe you need to get together, just the two of you, and talk it through. Your happiness is the most important thing in the world to her xxx
She signed it: ‘Gill, 44, Norwich’, and quickly hit submit. Then she closed down her laptop, put her mug in the dishwasher, and went to get Sammy.
* * *
Later that evening, Gill was in the kitchen getting dinner ready when she heard the front door slam. Moments later, Kelly stalked through.
Gill felt strangely nervous, her heart beginning to race. She looked up anxiously, but Kelly was smiling.
‘You’re so lame, Mum,’ she scoffed, rolling her eyes, but Gill knew this was about the best response she could have asked for. Kelly didn’t seem angry or upset, and it felt as though something that had been buried for a long time had finally come to the surface.
‘Come here,’ Gill snuffled, tearing up as she opened her arms.
Feigning reluctance, Kelly walked towards her and let herself be swallowed up in Gill’s embrace. ‘Are you crying, Mum? Jeez, is it the menopause or something? Seriously, don’t get snot in my hair, that’s gross.’
‘You do know I love you, don’t you.’
‘Yeah, yeah, whatever.’ But Kelly was grinning.
‘Here, sit down for a moment,’ Gill said, indicating the chairs around the kitchen table.
Again, Kelly sighed and acted as though Gill had asked for the impossible. She went over to the fridge and cracked open a can of Diet Coke, sipping it rebelliously and knowing there was no way Gill would tell her off for drinking fizzy pop before dinner. Today, Kelly could have demanded (almost) anything, and Gill would have agreed.
As Kelly sat down, Gill reached across the table and took her daughter’s hands in hers.
‘I know this isn’t the ideal time to discuss everything – I was thinking we should do something, just the two of us. Maybe go get our nails done, or even have a really girly day, with shopping and a nice lunch. What do you think?’
‘Sounds cool,’ Kelly shrugged.
‘But I just want to say how proud I am of the way you’ve handled this whole situation with Mike. I know it hasn’t been easy for you these last few years. There’ve been a lot of changes and, believe me, I’d rather you hadn’t had to experience them. I’d have loved for things to work out with me and your dad – you know, stayed together forever like we planned. But it didn’t happen.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Kelly nodded, seeming frighteningly grown up. ‘You guys were arguing so much, it was better for you to get divorced.’
‘And I know that me meeting Mike, and him having kids too, was a massive adjustment for you. The seven of us in this house can feel pretty claustrophobic sometimes, and you’ve dealt with it brilliantly. The thing is, Kel, life on your own is really hard – those couple of years after I split up with your dad and before I met Mike were a real struggle. You probably don’t really remember them clearly, but it was a damned hard slog, and it’s so much nicer to have someone to share all that with. And I know you don’t always see it, but Mike is one of the good guys. I massively appreciate having him in my life, but I care about you kids more than anything else in the world, and I need to make sure you’re okay with it too.’
‘I guess,’ Kelly said slowly. ‘I mean, I want you to be happy and everything. And if Mike’s the guy to do that then it’s not my place to say anything. It’s just sometimes I wish it was how it used to be, and that I didn’t have to share you with all these new people. And that I didn’t have to share a room with Paige,’ she added with feeling.
‘I know it’s not ideal, but we’re all just muddling through as best as we can. It’d mean a lot to me to know that Mike and I have your blessing. And we really do mean it when we say we want you all to be involved in the wedding. It’s not just about me and Mike, it’s about the whole family.’
‘Yeah, I get it,’ Kelly nodded. ‘Seriously, all this because of that blog post I wrote? I probably should have deleted it.’
‘No, I’m glad you didn’t. I think this chat’s been long overdue, and we’ll definitely go and have our girly day soon. But if you ever feel down like that again, you can always come to me – you don’t have to put it out there for the whole world.’
‘But did you see how many comments I got?’ Kelly grinned, her eyes lighting up. ‘And when I looked at my stats, two people had viewed my blog from Australia, and even someone in Brazil.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ Gill said, and she meant it. Kelly was growing up, she realised, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it. She was so proud of her daughter, and everything she’d achieved so far. She was a complex, brilliant, beautiful young woman, and just looking at her made Gill’s heart swell with love.
The saucepan on the hob began to bubble over, startling Gill out of her reverie as she jumped up to turn down the heat.
‘Are we done? Can I go now?’ Kelly asked, seeing her opportunity to escape.
‘Yes, you can go,’ Gill laughed. ‘Dinner in about half an hour, yeah? I love you, Kel.’
‘Yeah, whatevs,’ Kelly called over her shoulder as she walked away. But Gill could hear the smile in her voice.
21
‘Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards’ – Benjamin Franklin
It was Saturday morning, and Debbie was slowly getting herself ready to face the day. She was curled up on the sofa in her dressing gown, nursing a cup of coffee, whilst on the TV James Martin demonstrated how to cook the perfect pulled pork.
‘Bathroom’s free,’ Stevie called from upstairs.
‘Thanks,’ Debbie shouted back. She knew she should get up and go for a shower, but it was so nice relaxing against the cushions, with the heating turned up and Scamp curled on the settee beside her. Outside, the first signs of spring were in evidence, as daffodils and crocuses pushed their way up through the earth, but despite the pale sunshine, the weather remained chilly.
Debbie was still sitting in the same place when Stevie jogged downstairs a few minutes later, freshly washed and smelling of shower gel.
‘Are you staying in your pyjamas all day?’ he wondered, as he bent down to give her a kiss.
‘Maybe,’ Debbie teased. ‘It depends what I feel like. Nah, I’ll move in a minute. I was just thinking about what to do today. It’s so nice not to have any plans.’
‘Mmm hmm,’ Stevie replied, a twinkle in his eye that Debbie didn’t notice.
‘Maybe we should take Scamp for a long walk this afternoon – we could drive out to South Walsham and check on the reception venue while we’re there. They might have a wedding on today, so we could see it when it’s all decked out.’
‘Maybe.’ Stevie’s tone was non-committal.
‘Then I’ll batch cook this evening – something like vegetable stew that I can keep in the freezer, and eat with brown rice instead of dumplings.’
‘Come on then, chop chop, no time to waste,’ Stevie insisted, clapping his hands to chivvy her along.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ Debbie frowned. ‘It’s the weekend, I’m having a lazy morning.’
‘Yes, but you never know what the day might bring, and it’s best to be prepared.’
‘What’s going on?’ Debbie was instantly suspicious.
‘Nothing.’ Stevie was clearly lying, unable to keep a straight face. ‘You might want to have a shower and get dressed, that’s all I’m saying.’
Debbie broke into a wide smile, wondering what he’d got planned. He looked very pleased with himself, she thought, her excitement growing. Maybe he was going to take her for a romantic lunch at a country pub? Or shopping to choose some sexy new clothes?
‘Okay then,’ she agreed, playing along, as she made her way up the stairs. She stripped off and stepped into the shower, noticing as she soaped herself how much her body had changed these last few months. The skin on her thighs was tighter, her stomach flatter. Her hipbones and waist were clearly defined, showing off her hourglass shape. Seeing the difference was the biggest motivation she could ask for; proof that all her hard work was paying off, that she was getting ever closer to her target.
Debbie climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her and scooping her hair up into a turban. She padded through to the bedroom and stood thoughtfully in
front of her open wardrobe, wondering what to wear. There wasn’t a huge choice; her old clothes were far too big for her now. She had a nice pair of jeans, and a new pair of jeggings, or her knee-length cord skirt which looked smart with black tights and boots. It all depended on where they were going.
‘Stevie, what do you think I should wear today?’ she called down, rifling through the rail and picking out a black fitted jumper which would go nicely with the skirt. ‘I don’t know where we’re going so you’ll have to help me out. Stevie?’ she called again.
Still no reply.
Frowning, Debbie headed down the stairs. ‘Stevie, did you hear me? I was asking what I should wear today ’cos—’
She stopped short, trailing off as she reached the living room. Stevie was slumped on the edge of the sofa, his shoulders hunched, his body language thoroughly miserable. His mood had completely changed from the happy, cheerful state she’d left him in minutes earlier.
‘Stevie?’ she asked uncertainly.
He looked up, fury blazing in his eyes.
‘Stevie, what’s the matter?’ Debbie repeated, increasingly anxious. ‘Has something happened?’ She hurried to sit down beside him, their knees touching together. Stevie jumped away as though he’d received an electric shock, but still he didn’t speak.
‘Stop it, you’re scaring me,’ Debbie pleaded. She felt suddenly chilly wearing only a towel, goosebumps breaking out along her arms.
Stevie turned to her, his face frighteningly blank.
‘Who’s Phil?’
Debbie screwed up her face in confusion. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know anyone called Phil.’
‘Really? Because he seems to know you.’
Debbie’s phone was lying on the coffee table in front of Stevie. He picked it up and tossed it towards her.