“If you want vengeance, I will mete out an appropriate punishment,” he said his youthful face hardening with determination.
She couldn’t stop herself from laughing and Nicky frowned. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. It’s just hearing you promise to avenge me…you are so young.”
He smiled ruefully and shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that seemed to say, Yeah I get that a lot.
“I suppose my appearance would be disorienting to you. I was sixteen when I was changed but I assure you I am much older than that.”
“How much older exactly?”
“Two thousand, three hundred and nineteen years old.”
“Wow.”
It was all she could think to say. He made the others seem like infants in comparison. She probably should have saved the fainting spell for now. Yet somehow, it didn’t hit her as hard as the others. Maybe she had reached the point where nothing would surprise her anymore. Or maybe it was that the idea of living for that long was an impossible idea and so her mind was refusing to actually process it.
Two thousand, three hundred and nineteen years.
It did explain the opulent wealth of the home. You could build a hell of a financial portfolio over all that time. It also explained the varying ages of the mementos in his collection against the far wall.
Imagine the things that he had seen over that time. He had probably seen events that were now only notations in history books that only PhD candidates studied. They were talking Ancient times with a capital A.
She jumped up from the lounge, suddenly unable to keep still, a frantic energy filling her and she moved across the room to look at the wall of mementos. As she paced the length of the wall, she studied the marble busts, realizing that they were most likely likenesses of men Nicky had actually known.
“Did you know these men?” she asked, turning back to see Nicky nodding.
“Some as a Shadow Walker, some as a human,” he replied and came to stand beside her. “The busts are likenesses of the great philosophers.”
“You like philosophy?”
He smiled at that, as if there was a particular irony to it but he nodded. “I am a fan.”
She noticed that there was one bust that sat in the exact centre of the shelves and was the focal point of the entire collection. Whoever it was, he had been given a place of honour.
“Who is that?” she asked, nodding at the bust.
“Aristotle.”
“Is he your favourite?”
“Yes he is,” Nicky said, gazing up at the bust with a wistful expression. “He was also my human father. My full name is Nicomachus. I was Aristotle’s son.”
She was struck dumb at that revelation. It was one thing to hear the number of years he had lived; it was another to be given a point of reference. Someone like Aristotle was so old, he had almost a mythic quality about him and yet she was sitting here with his son. The idea of someone who lived during a time period she had learned of as ancient standing right in front of her was even more disconcerting than the idea he was a Shadow Walker. His kind were supposed to be a fantasy and belonged in fictional stories. Aristotle belonged in factual history books.
She felt like her mind had been split in two. One half was processing all this information at a breakneck speed that was too fast to come to any conclusions and the other half was moving so slow that it would be lucky if it figured out anything before Christmas. She was on a rollercoaster and even though she wanted to get off, she could not voice her desires because everything was zipping by too fast.
Sampson had tried to kill her. Supernatural beings existed. An immortal teenager had saved her from death. She was now something called a Shadow Walker. There were parallel dimensions. A family of ancient princesses, peasants and philosophers lived in this giant mansion. There was a kid who was actually two thousand years old. That same kid was both a Shadow Walker and her father.
She had been compartmentalizing everything she had been told but the mental walls were beginning to crumble. The weight of everything she had learned came crashing down on her. It was too much.
She had been a fool to believe any of this was real. There was no way this was happening; it had to be a delusion.
“This can’t be true. There is just no way, I don’t care if Mary slapped me. This is just not possible.”
The words came out in a whisper and Nicky frowned, his eyes filled with sympathy.
“I’m sorry Cordelia but this is all real. You will find that in our world the impossible is quite often very possible.”
At his words her heart began to pound in her chest, feeling like it was doubling in size with each beat. She tried to take deep breaths but she couldn’t seem to get in enough air. Her palms became clammy and a lead ball of dread bottomed out her stomach.
Nicky moved in front of her, his eyes wide with concern. He took her hand in his own, his thumb stroking the top of her hand.
“Cordelia, you’re having a panic attack. You need to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.”
She did as he instructed, breathing deep through her nose before exhaling in a loud whoosh through her mouth. It didn’t help much because even with the extra oxygen, her brain was still racing a million miles a minute.
It was too much for one person to process in such a short time. She was a bundle of conflicting emotions and she could not find an anchor in the chaos. She wanted it to stop. God she just wished everything was back to the way it had been before. She wanted to just close her eyes and find herself back home.
“Child, don’t worry. I can take you home. Just don’t move.”
He let go of her hand and another flare of panic went up inside her at the loss of contact but he was back in moments, urging her to lift her head. She looked up and realized that Nicky had turned off all the lights in the room. She knew that the room should be pitch black with the lack of light and the heavy drapes on the windows but she was still able to make out the details in the dark room.
Nicky took both her hands in his own and squeezed tightly. “This may feel strange but I promise it won’t harm you. Just hold tight to my hands and you’ll be okay, I promise.”
The feel of his hands helped steady her a bit and she nodded her head. Nicky closed his eyes and his brow knit in concentration.
The shadowy details of the library disappeared as the room went black around them. The sound of gusting winds filled her ears but the air around her did not move. As soon as the sound started, it stopped and the blackness around them lightened to reveal another room.
The achingly familiar walls that were around her started her body shaking all over again. They were in the living room of her apartment. There was her coffee table with the stacks of magazines she had been meaning to throw out. There was Xander, her grey tabby cat, jumping down from her old couch to come rub up against her legs in greeting.
Despite the fact that she had no idea how they had gotten here, being in her own home beat back the panic that had been slowly strangling her. She was able to take several deep cleansing breaths and her heart calmed down to a reasonable tempo.
She looked out the window to see people standing on the balcony of one of the apartments in the building across the street. The sound of the cars driving by floated up from the street below and footsteps echoed through the ceiling from the apartment above her.
Her world still existed. Somehow knowing that comforted her and she was able to stand without her knees shaking. As she stared out the window at the building across the way, its illuminated windows showing the shadows of its occupants moving around, a buzzing began in her ears.
…I can’t believe he’s drunk again…Should I be good and make a salad or be bad and order pizza…God why am I so lonely…she’s with him again tonight, I know it…how am I going to make rent this month…
The voices began to get louder as more joined the chorus, talking over each other until they were nothing more than a constant wailing. She clamped her hands over
her ears to try to drown the sound out but it didn’t help. They just grew louder and louder until she felt as if her head was going to split open and her brain would fall out of her skull. She pressed her hands tighter against her skull as the pain reached its zenith. She wanted to die just to make it stop.
…Cordelia, I want you to think of a brick wall…
Nicky’s voice was a faint beacon in the hurricane of voices in her mind. She fumbled in the swirl and latched on to it, letting it anchor her in the abyss. She did as he told her, picturing the red brick of the apartment building she had just seen. As the stone and mortar constructed itself in her mind, the howling voices lowered as if someone was punching the volume button on a remote.
…Good girl. Now I want you to think of a steel door sliding over it and locking…
That was going to be a snap. Ocean’s Eleven had been on television the other night and she had caught the last hour. She pictured the casino vault door that Danny and the boys had been able to thwart and she heard the electronic beep of its magnetic locks sealing.
Silence washed over her instantly and she took a deep breath through her nose, calming herself with the cleansing breath. She slowly lowered her hands from her ears, her head aching from the pressure she had put on her skull in her distress. Her jaw ached from having clenched it tight as she was washed away by the voices. Her entire body was trembling and she eased herself forward, bracing her hands on the floor to steady herself.
Nicky was down on one knee before her, a hand on her shoulder as he looked up at her with concern.
“What was that?” she asked, her voice quivering and Nicky squeezed her shoulder in reassurance.
“There is more to the change than just fangs and immortality. We possess an array of abilities beyond greater physical strength and rapid healing. Telepathy, telekinesis, shape shifting, time manipulation, elemental control…our race has been known to possess all of them at one time or another.”
She had stopped listening at the mention of telepathy. She remembered the sentence fragments she had heard clearly before the voices had combined into a mass of white noise. They were the worries that the average person always had buzzing through their subconscious.
Jesus, it wasn’t possible. There was no way she could read people’s thoughts.
“Yes you can and it is quite impressive.”
The happiness that spread through her body at the sound of pride in his voice was unexpected. It reminded her of when she was younger and would come running home from school to show her father the A she had gotten on the latest quiz. He had always made a big show of putting it on the fridge. His unwavering pride in her had been one of his best qualities. And just as she had with her father, she craved the sight of pride reflected in Nicky’s eyes.
“Most fledglings only have a psychic connection with their clan members so that they can call their clan if they are in danger. The ability to read human thoughts usually doesn’t come until later and sometimes it takes years. You must have a strong mind to be able to read them already. Unfortunately, this means you will act like a giant satellite for thoughts and emotions. You will have to shield yourself so you are not constantly bombarded by other’s thoughts.”
“The brick wall and the steel door,” she said, understanding dawning on her.
“It is a very simple shield that will keep you from picking up the thoughts others are broadcasting without knowing it. Unfortunately, that group is made up of most humans. Our kind learns to keep shields in place to prevent us from sending thoughts out and to keep other Shadow Walkers from digging through them. I can teach you how to build stronger shields so that you will not be vulnerable to another Shadow Walker.”
“Good. The idea of someone rooting through my private thoughts skeeves me out. Hell, the idea of me rooting through others’ private thoughts skeeves me out.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as Nicky lowered his head in shame. “I offer my sincerest apologies for doing this to you.”
Her heart broke at the pain in his voice and she pushed herself off the floor and into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“Please don’t apologize. It’s okay, I swear it, and I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’ll take someone reading my mind over being dead any day. You saved my life. Please don’t ever apologize for that.”
He hugged her back fiercely and she felt a peacefulness sweep over her. She had not realized that even after all these years she still missed her father terribly. In Nicky’s arms, she felt the security she had always felt in her father’s arms. How funny that she would find an exceptional father figure in the body of a teenage boy. Her father would find the humour in that and she hoped he was laughing at all of this wherever he was now.
Nicky loosened his embrace and looked up at her. “I can’t promise you I won’t apologize again. As time passes you will gain more abilities and you might not like all of them.”
“Well if one of those abilities is that little teleporting thing you did earlier, I won’t complain. That trick would save me a lot of time and the hassle of commuting.”
Her words did as she intended, coaxing a smile from him. “Yes, you will eventually be able to do that. Once the change is complete in your body, you will be strong enough to walk through the shadows.”
“So I just snap my fingers and end up anywhere I want in the world?”
He chuckled at her. “It’s not quite that simple. You can only move through darkness, hence the name Shadow Walkers. The shadows are where we are most comfortable and so we can use them as a pathway. You need only to picture the place where you wish to go and you will appear in the shadows there.”
“That’s pretty neat. You said that there are other things that our kind can do, telekinesis and time manipulation, when can I do that stuff?”
“It will depend. There will be some talents that will come more naturally than others and there may be some that you won’t be able to master,” he told her and at her frown, he reached out to pat her on the shoulder reassuringly. “Just like humans, it is very difficult for a Shadow Walker to be good at everything.”
Well, at least she wouldn’t be a complete and total failure at this. Even if she sucked at the other talents, she had the psychic gift to fall back on. Though maybe she shouldn’t be that grateful for that particular gift. If it hadn’t been for Nicky, she could have gotten sucked under that psychic tidal wave. Who knew if that would happen again and what if there wasn’t anyone around to rescue her next time.
“Do not worry, child,” he told her, whether sensing her mood change or reading her thoughts, she didn’t know. “I promise to make sure that you are completely prepared for your new life.”
Your new life.
It was true; she did have a new life. She looked around her apartment and saw it through different eyes. She had needed the familiar surroundings to anchor her when so much around her was in upheaval but things were different now. Though it had only been a day since she had changed, her mind was creating a large divide between today and yesterday.
She looked out the window, her new eyes able to see the people in the night with absolute clarity. In the building across the way, an elderly man was smoking his pipe out on his balcony, which he did every night after his dinner. The woman who worked at the market on the corner was rolling up the canvas eaves as she closed up for the night.
Everything was much the same as it had been yesterday, everything except for her. She could see them but she knew that she wasn’t like them. There was no more internal debate about the reality of what she was experiencing. This wasn’t a coma or a dream. She was a Shadow Walker and that meant she wasn’t part of this world anymore.
She looked back to Nicky. “What happens when you are done teaching me?”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“What will I do? Do I start haunting dark alleys and cemeteries? Or is there some supernatural duty that I have to take up now?”
; Nicky laughed. “Being a Shadow Walker means the same thing as being a human: acting on your free will. It is your choice to do whatever it is that you want. You can continue the life you have here, with a few changes. You won’t be able to be out in the daylight but other than that, you can pass yourself off as a human. Or you can start a new life in another place.”
His hand squeezed her shoulder in comfort. “It is your choice to make. Just ask yourself what it is that you want.”
She took a moment to think about it. It seemed like such a simple question but for her it was something so much more. What did she want? She didn’t want the life that she had been living as a human. She was a ball of insecurities, still haunted by the spectre of her mother, and feeling like she never belonged. With Nicky, in his world, she didn’t feel that way anymore. In the brief time she had spent in his home and with his family, she felt like, for once, she finally belonged.
“I don’t want the life I had. I don’t want to be that person anymore,” she whispered, her voice filled with pain and regret. “When my dad died, my mother changed. She’d never been the warmest woman but I never felt like she didn’t love me. Then he died and any love she had felt for me before was gone. I lost my family and my place in the world and I didn’t realize how alone I’ve been. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Nicky took her hands in his own, squeezing gently.
“You aren’t alone anymore, Cordelia.”
She could feel the strength and love in Nicky fill her from where their hands were joined. Warmth moved up her arm and settled directly around her heart.
“I know what I want. I want to be where I belong, with you and the rest of your family.”
His smile was absolutely radiant. “Our family, Cordelia, they are our family.”
She smiled at that. It had been too long since she had a family. She was happy to leave her old life behind, knowing that she would be gaining so much more. There was only one aspect of her old life that she would miss. Gabe. He had been a good friend; a bright spot in an otherwise dreary life. But now she was determined to fill her new life with many bright spots. She would not let this second chance at a family go to waste.
Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1) Page 6