by Delilah Hunt
She wanted to chastise him further, but decided against it. She had insisted he do just that. “In any case. I’m doing fine and the baby is healthy if it matters to you. I have to wait a few more weeks to find out the gender.”
His head jerked as he slid a hand inside his pocket. A gesture she recognized whenever he was uncomfortable. “And Pres…Your father. How is he doing after the heart attack?”
Danika stiffened. “He’s doing as well as can be expected despite the circumstances. Not sure what else you wanted or expected to hear.” She eyed him closely, watching the sudden clenching of his jaw as if he was restraining himself from saying anything nasty.
“Are you okay?” she asked, concerned by his odd behavior.
His eyes had left her, focused instead above her head and onto the dance floor. Her first thought was that he had brought a date and didn’t wish to keep her waiting.
She planned to ask just that when he peered down at her, his eyes dull “Do you want to go outside?”
She wanted to sink to the floor. Brandon wanted her to go outside so he could be with his mystery woman. Her eyes shuffled over the dancing couples, hoping to get a glimpse of the female.
“Why do you want me to leave? So you can be with whomever you brought here?”
His face brightened to a startling shade of crimson. “Not by yourself,” he said in a tone so quiet, she almost had to strain her ears to hear. “I meant, outside with me. Do you want to go outside with me? I came alone, Danika. I’m always alone.”
“Oh.” Now she really wanted to sink through the floor for her ridiculous and petty outburst. “Sure,” she replied casually. She refused to assign a meaning to his invitation.
He guided her through a door that led to a circular opening, which meandered into a sprawling courtyard. Vintage carriage lamps were hung from the four marble poles. Warm golden light illuminated behind the vines of ivy, lacing and embracing the poles.
“Have you been here before? How did you know this courtyard was here?”
His massive chest rose and fell on a sigh. “There’s another dining hall like this one in Billings. Same company owns it. It was a long time ago, shortly after I left Ireland. I worked there, cleaning up after parties. I figured they were designed the same.”
“Oh.”
Intense blue eyes focused in on her. “Is that all you can say to me—oh?”
She crossed a protective arm around her middle. “Why did you bring me out here, Brandon? What could you possibly have to say to me that you couldn’t say inside the hall?”
“I didn’t ask you out here to talk,” he said, before drawing in a deep breath. His gaze flickered toward the door. “Do you hear the music?”
Danika stared at him in bewilderment and issued a nod. “I hear it.” She wondered if the soulful cadence of the jazz music coming from the speakers wasn’t to his palate. She’d played similar music at the house before and he’d never said or displayed any sign of finding the music distasteful.
He moved next to her, the angles of his features appearing less harsh as their skin touched. “I know I’m not at the top on your list of favorite people. If I was ever on it, you’ve probably drawn an x through my name.”
“Brandon…”
He shook his head and lifted a hand to the side of her face. “The only reason I came here tonight was because I wanted to see you. I didn’t come to ruin your fun or keep you from your friends, who I’m sure you’d rather be with right this moment.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “I asked you out here to see if you’d be willing to share a dance with me. I’ve never danced with a woman before. I know I shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks, but…”
“You’re embarrassed?” Her body warmed to his delicate touch.
He gave another nod. “I figured some of them might still look at me and wonder how a gorgeous girl like you got involved with a scarred Irish fella. Me stepping on your cute little toes won’t make those looks not a wee bit kinder.”
Moisture stung at the back of her eyelids. Brandon’s reason for asking her out into the courtyard wasn’t what she had secretly been hoping for, but his confession touched her deeply. That he was willing to share his innermost fears with her, told her she had to have meant something special to him. A smile reached her lips and along with it a few tears she had been holding back. Brushing away the wetness, Danika laughed softly and clasped her hands in his. Surely there was no harm in playing make-believe that none of their problems existed, that everything was as it was during those early summer days.
“How about I take the lead this time, Irish?”
She wasn’t sure for how long she and Brandon were tucked away in the courtyard apart from the other guests. She had long since lost track of time after instructing him to rest his hand above her bottom. He’d promptly acquiesced to her command, smoothing the sensitive spot as she guided the flow of their rhythm. Resting her head against Brandon’s shoulder, she snapped open her eyes. The baby fluttered in her stomach then did a small somersault. Danika recognized it as a routine wakeup exercise for her little bean. She raised her head, curious to see if Brandon had felt the movement between them. His eyes were wide with curiosity. “Was that…?”
She smiled. “Yep. Every day.”
The curiosity shifted to concern. “Does it hurt?”
“Not at all. But even if he did, what can I do?” she asked in between a chuckle. “It’s pretty much out of our control what the little guy…or girl does.”
Brandon regarded her closely before easing away. He looked up into the night sky, littered with stars and a lustrous silver moon. “There’s a lot to be said for control, isn’t there?” He turned to her with a tender smile. “I lost control of the way I had hoped, imagined our life together would be like after I placed that ring on your finger.”
“You didn’t lose control, Brandon. If anything maybe you were a little too afraid to give up control. I won’t lie and say I loved you when I recited my vows, but I did care about you even then. Each day we were together I grew to care about you more. All those times I caught you smiling or laughing when I knew you were trying so hard not to, it made me fall for you a little more. When you opened up to me about your childhood, I knew how vulnerable it made you feel. I can’t tell you the precise moment it happened, that my feelings changed. I never cared. I fell in love with you and the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ didn’t concern me.” She palmed his face. “Do you understand me, Brandon? I never tried to control the way I felt about you. When love happened I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t have to surrender, because it was never a matter of fighting or trying to control how I feel. It was simply there. I accepted it and was thrilled about it. Whatever you feel or don’t feel for me, it should be because that’s just the way it is and not a byproduct of you trying to control or hold back anything from me.”
“What if I was ready to accept the feelings that have been there all along? Maybe I’m tired of beating myself up.”
“Then you need to decide what’s more important to you. I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’ve begged, pleaded, laid my heart on the frontline. I won’t do it again, Brandon. You know what I want, what I need to hear. If you’re going to throw my entire life into even more misery than I’m going through right now, on the verge of losing the two men I care the most about in this world then I’d rather know sooner than later.”
Worth the Price
Danika’s departing words from last night rang in his mind over and over again. Peering into the bathroom mirror, Brandon allowed himself to study his own reflection. Something he had avoided for much of his life. The accident at the dockside had only provided another reason to stop looking altogether. He fingered the knotted line that sloped and divided his face. There was no pain. The jarring memory that always transported him back to that cold and windy day on the docks failed to surface. His fingers continued their exploration, trailing to the end of the scar at the tip of his jawbone. He paused then dropped his hands
to grip the edge of the sink.
Subconsciously, he had been mimicking Danika’s movements, how she would touch his face right before closing her small hand over his jaw and pressing her soft full lips against his. It wasn’t a gesture she did every day, in fact he could only remember a handful of time she had done it, but it made the gentle caress all the more special to him. And obviously she hadn’t touched him with such tenderness in months, yet those few instances of her fingers on his face had somehow replaced the memory he’d been burdened with for what felt like forever.
Brandon gazed at himself again. He wanted to laugh at the series of ironies his life had become. He’d always assumed his physical appearance would be the one deciding factor that kept him from having a family of his own, never his own refusal to accept what was right in front of him. For years he’d nursed his dislike of a man whose daughter was the only person in the world who could make him whole. The one emotion he was so desperate to experience. Prescott was the same man whose fate rested inside his hands, based on the phone call he’d received this morning that two of his cattle had been found after the late night arrest in Oregon of the goons his father-in-law had hired.
He knew what had to be done. Dressing quickly, he made sure to grab his hat off the dresser. He’d always made it a point never to set foot in town without a hat on his head and today was no exception. Some minutes later he arrived at his destination. Unlike the hardware or feedlot store where he, and more important his money, was always welcomed, the Prescott house was off limits to him exactly because of who he was and the money he’d given them.
He hadn’t taken two steps out of the car before he saw Danika walking alongside her father on the sidewalk. It looked as if they were returning from a stroll.
“Sharpe?” Prescott called, in what seemed to be a cry derived more so out of surprise than anger. “What are you doing in my driveway? On a Sunday of all things.”
He’s her father. Be civil. And strangely enough, hearing the lack of censure in the older man’s voice made Brandon wonder if Prescott might have some decency in him—as Danika seemed to think, anyway.
Danika. He breathed her name and allowed himself another enticing peek at her. God, she looked beautiful, even if her mouth was hung open, gaping at him in puzzlement and marks of weariness beneath her eyelids.
“Dad’s right. What are you doing here?” Her eyes narrowed in confusion.
His palms misted. He’d had everything planned out so well inside his head. What he would say to Prescott and then finally to Danika. In those plans he hadn’t been this nervous. Being inches away from her was a lot different from simply picturing her inside his head.
Pushing aside his own fears, Brandon pulled the hat from his head and held it within his hand, facing downward.
He could see her vision lower to his thigh, where the brim of the hat brushed against it. Her brows knitted together. Ever so slowly, she lifted her gaze up at him until her eyes flew wide open.
“Brandon. What are you doing?”
Prescott stared at him in confusion then turned to his daughter. “Listen, Sharpe. It’s a Sunday. I’m just trying to have a peaceful morning with my daughter. Whatever the hell is going on at your ranch, I don’t know about it and I didn’t have a darn thing to do with it.”
Brandon took a deep breath, glanced at Danika. “I didn’t come here to accuse you of anything, Mr. Prescott.”
“Mister?” Prescott shouted. He did a double take at Brandon. “What the hell are you on, Sharpe?”
Danika moved past her father, who was still mumbling his confusion. “Brandon?”
Difficult as it was, he paid no heed to the plea in her voice. He was going to do this right, the way it should have been between them. No games or ultimatums.
“You’re suspicious of my intentions,” he said, glancing at his father-in-law. “I don’t blame you. If the situation were reversed, I would be also. Danika is your daughter.” Brandon shifted his head to look at her.
“I should have been up front with you from the beginning. I won’t try to make any excuses for it. I never wanted to hurt you, but that’s all I’ve been doing. You deserve better, Danika. I forced your hand and took choices away from you. Choices I’m finally returning to you.”
“Return to me? I don’t understand.”
The worry in her brown eyes splintered his already broken heart. He didn’t care that Prescott was still standing there. Brandon touched her cheek, he wanted to lean in and inhale her scent. “I told the sheriff I no longer want to pursue the case. You and your da won’t have anything to worry about from me.”
Her lips parted long before she spoke. “What are you saying to me?”
Brandon steeled himself. “My lawyer’s drawing up the divorce papers.”
Her eyes went wide with disbelief. “Divorce papers? I don’t understand. I thought you came here to make up with me.”
Prescott who had been silent so far said, “I’m gonna sit this one out inside. Sharpe I hope you know what you’re doing.” He squeezed Danika’s shoulder before quietly walking inside the house.
“No,” Brandon said, once they were alone. “I didn’t come to reconcile our marriage. I’m giving you your freedom.”
“My freedom or yours?”
“This isn’t easy for me either.”
He’d anticipated the hurt but the sheer devastation on her face made his empty stomach churn. “You’re leaving me,’ she whispered, her eyes blank. “You’re leaving me and our baby. You honestly can’t love me, can you Brandon?”
Brandon felt his throat tighten. He couldn’t relent or take back the words. Revealing the truth in his heart would serve no good. He hadn’t won her fair and square. He’d desired her so much, it hadn’t mattered at the time what means he had to use to get Danika Prescott. She needed her freedom. Searching for the right words, but knowing they would never come, he told her, “Take care of yourself, Danika. You know where I am if you need anything.”
“If I need anything from you,” she echoed in a small voice. “No. I won’t ever need anything from you again.”
Unsure what to do with his hands that wanted so badly to reach for her, Brandon held them clenched at his sides and gave her a curt nod. Later on down the road she would forgive him, thank him even. When the dust settled and she was happy and confident that her life was back to normal, he would step up once again to financially take care of her and the baby. Consoling himself with the thought, he watched her head into the house she once again shared with her father. The window was open, affording him a vantage point. He saw Prescott closing his arms around as she buried her face in his neck. Prescott raised his head. Their eyes met through the glass. The expression on the older man’s face was indiscernible. Brandon held his stare for a second longer then turned on the walkway, leaving the two people whose lives he had disrupted.
Worth the Price
Danika stared at the packet the deliveryman had just placed in her hands. He must have served many of them judging by the awkward look on his face as he rushed to hand it over, before sprinting down the sidewalk.
She closed the door and pulled out the sheets of paper. The words on each page meant nothing to her at this point because it was now plain as day how Brandon felt for her. She allowed her gaze to sweep over the words.
Oh Brandon. Did it have to come to this? The impressive weight of her own guilt, the role she played in all of this, made her weak in the knees. For the short time they’d been together, one thing she’d always known was, her husband was a man of many layers. Layers that he guarded with unending ferocity, and which she was determined now, more than ever to uncover.
Danika set the papers aside to find her keys. Two weeks ago she had been blind to the truth, only focusing on the hurt of Brandon’s abandonment. Ironically it had been her father who helped to open her eyes. Last night she’d lain in bed, tossing and turning, a routine that was now all too familiar. She’d sought relief by entering the living room.
Curled up on the couch and with the television turned on, Danika hoped a late night show would dull her mind of all thoughts of a certain Irishman. When her father appeared at the archway between the living room and the kitchen, he’d stood there with the same broken look she had seen on his face months ago at the cemetery.
She had expected him to scold her and tell her to hop back into bed. It never came. Instead he said, “It’s a shame you’re the only one Sharpe decided to shit on in all of this huh?” She turned to him, baffled her father could give such a harsh reminder. He lifted a shoulder. “You’re better off without him, Dani. Any man who would show more kindness to the three people who stole from him than his own wife, can’t be too right in the head or worthy of you.”
Danika shook her head at the memory and looked outside to the morning sunlight. It was a blessed relief from the moon high in the midnight sky, which mocked her last night.
With the divorce papers in hand, she arrived on the Bar S, the one place she had promised herself never to return to. How stupid she had been. She climbed out of the car and bypassed the house, heading straight for the pastures. His schedule was ingrained in her memory along with everything that made him the man she couldn’t bear to live without. She didn’t have to shut her eyes to recall the feel of his lips on her neck, her arms winding around his strong, wide chest as she cajoled him every morning not to leave their bed so early. But he always did, rising with whispered promises of the night to come.
Poor Brandon. She couldn’t imagine what these past weeks must have been like for him now that she understood the extent of his love for her. How she loved him. That thought alone, made her steps quicker though ever careful on the icy ground. Danika rounded the completed corral and had to tear her gaze from the structure he had worked so hard on. All because of me. She spotted him then. Brandon had his back turned, shoveling a fresh heaping of last night’s snowfall. The two workers in front of him quickly abandoned their shovels. She watched his head raise. He cast about until his eyes were no longer focused on the men hurrying in the opposite direction.