by Ivy Jordan
“Are you ready to order?” the waitress asked as she filled the coffee cup I pushed towards her.
“I am. I’ll have whatever she’s having,” I smiled towards Holly.
Holly’s eyes lit up, and her smile widened.
“Chocolate chip pancakes and extra bacon,” she wasted no time ordering our meals.
“Wow,” I laughed.
The waitress looked to me as if to ask if I was still willing to eat the same meal. I nodded, and with that, she disappeared to put in the ticket.
Holly immediately started telling me about the fall carnival, how her mother was making game booths and even renting a dunking booth. I watched as Maria rolled her eyes. It didn’t surprise me. Maria didn’t like change.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” I turned towards Alyssa, surprisingly with a smile waiting for me.
“Me too!” Holly squeaked.
“I think it’s a waste of money,” Maria scowled.
“It’ll bring in much more money than just a bake sale,” Alyssa argued.
“I agree,” I chimed in.
“We could have a hayride to old man Guthrie’s pumpkin patch. The kids could pick out a pumpkin for five bucks, making him more than he’d make selling them to the local stores,” I added.
“We?” Maria quickly scoffed.
Alyssa looked out the window of the diner, unwilling to back me as I’d backed her.
“You could help me and mom paint the game fronts,” Holly beamed, ignoring her grandmother’s tone of disapproval.
“I’d be more than happy to help,” I replied.
“How was your fancy date with Bruce?” Maria changed the topic as she pulled Alyssa back into the conversation.
“It was okay,” she mumbled.
My leg brushed against hers as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Electricity shot through my body from our touch, but she quickly pulled away, sliding against the window as closely as she could.
Holly’s eyes were lingering on us from across the booth, a wide smile creeping up on her face. My cheeks started to heat, and I knew they were turning a bright shade of pink as I realized Holly wanted her parents together. I wouldn’t mind a chance at making Alyssa happy again, at having a family. But that ship had sailed, right?
The chocolate chip pancakes arrived, and after what seemed to be a race to the finish, Holly and I both scooted our cleaned plates to the edge of the booth table. The tension was high, and it was clear that Holly was in just as big of hurry as I was to exit this breakfast.
“You ready to get outta here, kiddo?” I asked Holly.
“Yes,” she bounced from her seat and stood at attention.
“It was really great to see you,” I smiled at Alyssa.
There was that smile again, faint, but present. Her cheeks blushed with color, and her eyes quickly moved away from mine.
I slid the bill from the table, arguing with Maria as she reached out for it.
“I got it,” I insisted.
Holly took my place in the booth seat as I got up, squeezing her arms around her mother.
“When are you bringing her back?” Maria asked.
“I-uh, I was thinking she could stay the night,” I muttered.
Holly had asked, and I didn’t want to overstep my boundary, but she was my daughter, and eleven years had been stolen from me. Maria squinted, shaking her head as her lips tightened into a thin line.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she hissed.
Holly frowned, her foot stomped, and her hand raised to her hip.
“Why not?” she griped.
“It’s fine,” Alyssa said softly, her faint smile returned.
Maria looked pissed that Alyssa would defy her by allowing me to have an evening with my daughter.
“Sweetheart,” she started to say, only to be stopped by Alyssa’s hand held up like she was stopping traffic.
“I’m her mother, Liam’s her father, and I think it will be good for both of them,” she defended.
Holly grinned from ear to ear, tugging on my hand to pull me away before her mother could change her mind or have her grandmother put her foot down.
“Thank you,” I smiled as I was pulled towards the cash register by the front door.
“What are we going to do today?” Holly asked eagerly.
“Let’s decorate your room,” I suggested.
Her eyes lit up, and her smile brightened with joy as she clung to my arm.
I paid the bill, left the restaurant, and didn’t look back, even though I wanted desperately to get one more look at Alyssa. The fear of getting another glare from Maria kept mey gaze forward, heading to my truck.
“Mom and Bruce are arguing,” Holly said with a matter-of-fact tone as she climbed into my truck.
“Really?” I questioned with a smirk as I closed her into the passenger side.
Once I slid into the driver’s seat, Holly was ready to continue her rant about Bruce and her mother’s relationship.
“She was really upset with him last night. I think they might even break up,” Holly smiled.
“What was she mad at him about?” I asked, feeling a twinge of hope with the information being released.
“He’s selfish, and he made her pay for dinner again last night,” Holly stated.
“How did you know that?” I questioned.
“I overheard her and Grandma talking,” she beamed proudly.
“Well, I think that is grown up talk, not meant for pipsqueak’s ears,” I teased.
“I’m not really a pipsqueak. I’m eleven, and I know a lot about life,” she insisted.
“I bet you do,” I laughed.
Holly sat up tall in the truck seat, obviously trying to make herself appear bigger, more well-versed in life.
“I know Mom still loves you,” she gushed.
I nearly slammed the brakes on my truck as my legs stiffened from her comment. My heart raced, my palms started to sweat, and I couldn’t look over at my daughter without showing her how excited that thought made me.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“Whenever anyone says your name, she blushes or looks away. I catch her looking at old photographs sometimes, photos of you and her when you were young,” Holly informed.
Wow.
“That doesn’t mean she still loves me,” I admitted.
“Yes, it does,” Holly insisted.
I wished it were that simple.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. She has Bruce,” I said, trying to brush off the topic.
I pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store and shut the truck off. I turned to Holly, eagerly staring at me with more hope in her eyes than I had in my heart.
“Don’t ya wanna be a family?” she asked.
I wanted it more than anything.
“It’s not always that simple,” I explained.
“Do you still love my mom?” she questioned.
“I-uh,” I stuttered.
“I think you do,” Holly smiled.
She was a smart little girl.
“I do,” I admitted.
“Okay, then we just get rid of Bruce,” she declared.
I had to laugh at her mob-style comment. ‘Get rid of Bruce.’ What did that mean? I pictured him duct-taped in the back of my pickup while driving him out of town, Holly on the look-out as I dug a large hole in the ground near the desert.
“How do you propose we ‘get rid of’ Bruce?” I chuckled.
“Make mom fall in love with you again,” she explained.
Good. At least she wasn’t planning on whacking the guy.
“I thought you knew she still loved me,” I teased.
“Yeah, but women need to fall in love,” she sighed and rolled her eyes.
I laughed. What a smart little girl. She was a lot like her mother. That was for sure.
“What if she doesn’t want to fall back in love with me?” I asked, entertaining her idea as well as my own hope.
/> “She will,” Holly grinned.
Chapter Ten
Alyssa
“What a beautiful Sunday afternoon,” Maria stood, pushing her hands into her lower back as she stretched.
I looked up from my row of peppers, halted from harvesting while I took in the sunshine and the truth of my mother’s words.
It was a beautiful day. The pastor agreed to my fall carnival idea, the sun was shining, and Holly would be returning soon, home from her first sleepover at her dad’s.
“What are you gonna do with all these peppers?” I asked, returning to putting them into the large basket.
“Pepper jam,” Maria said proudly.
I shrugged, not sure if I would care for that or not. She’d never made it before, and it wasn’t something I’d ever eaten. It didn’t sound good.
“I’m gonna sell them at the carnival, bring in more money for the church,” Maria stated.
I looked up at her again, this time she stood more relaxed, a warm smile pushing across her face.
“That’s a great idea,” I beamed, grateful she wasn’t holding grudges that I’d gotten my way.
“Good thing I thought of it when I planted them a few months back,” she chuckled.
“You knew?” I questioned.
“I know when you want something, nothing stops you. I figured I might as well be ready,” she laughed.
My cheeks burnt, not only from the sun but from the emotions spewing from me at that moment.
“Thanks, Mom,” I sighed with a smile.
“So, speaking of what you want, how are things going with you and Bruce?” she questioned.
I should’ve known this would turn into an interrogation. It always did.
“Fine,” I said quickly.
“Fine?” she asked, her eyebrows lifting accusingly.
“Yeah,” I chuckled nervously.
“How does he feel about Liam being around?” she asked.
“We haven’t really talked about it,” I answered.
“I bet he’s fit to be tied,” Maria laughed.
“Why?” I looked up.
“The way Liam looks at you and the way you look back at him,” she grinned.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped.
“I think you do,” Maria insisted.
“He makes Holly happy, and I owe him a chance to get to know his daughter, after…” I stumbled on the rest of my words.
“After he left you?” Maria hissed.
“After I kept her from him all these years,” I scowled.
“He could’ve come back, but he didn’t,” Maria growled.
“He’s here now,” I defended.
“For how long?” Maria questioned, again, her eyebrows lifting accusingly.
“He’s not going to leave again. He has a reason to stay now,” I argued.
“He had a reason before. Just be careful letting Holly get too close to him,” Maria warned.
“He had plenty of reason to leave before,” I admitted.
“And, the way Holly looks at him, and you, I think she wants to see you two back together. She may be plotting as we speak, trying to find a way to get rid of Bruce,” Maria laughed.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I snipped.
Maria didn’t respond. My mother stood there in the middle of her garden, a strange smirk rolling over her face.
“I’d prefer anyone over Bruce,” Maria finally chimed.
“Why? What is it you have against Bruce?” I questioned.
“Alyssa, really? He makes you pay for everything. You’re his designated driver, his sugar momma. He’s no good for you or Holly,” she spewed.
I was shocked to hear the words come from her mouth, so unemotional, so truthful. She usually lashed out at Bruce when she was angry, but she didn’t appear angry at all, she appeared calm. She wasn’t wrong. I was Bruce’s designated driver, and I did pay for everything. Oh God, my mother was right.
“You have nothing to say because you know I’m right,” Maria hissed.
“No,” I argued without much of an argument to argue.
“Well, just be careful of Liam. We don’t know if he’s any better. I’d rather have a moocher that sticks around than any man that takes off,” she warned.
Like Dad? I wanted to say but didn’t.
I knew Dad leaving was a sore subject for her, and she blamed herself for his abandonment. Hell, I blamed her for him leaving for most of my teenage years. She complained all the time and griped at him to do more, and all I remember was arguing between them. It wasn’t until recently I learned he was an alcoholic and a womanizer, and that was from the gossip queens in church. My mother would’ve never spoken a sour word about my father to my face.
“I’ll be careful,” I sighed.
I picked the last pepper, placing it carefully on the top of the others in the nearly full basket.
“I’m exhausted,” I sighed, ready to end this day and this conversation.
“There’s Holly, so you can head on home,” Maria acknowledged, glancing out past me and towards the house.
Holly ran towards the garden, her sundress flowing from her legs and her long blonde hair rolling from her shoulders. Liam walked behind her slowly. His tight t-shirt clung to his thick chest, and his muscles popped from the short sleeves. He pulled the designer sunglasses from his face, his blue eyes penetrating my soul as he stopped at the edge of the garden.
“You ladies need some help?” he offered.
I was frozen. My hand clenched around the handle of the basket, my legs started to tremble, and a familiar feeling gushed through my veins.
“Nope, we’re all done,” Maria answered abruptly.
He nodded as if to acknowledge he wasn’t welcomed.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” he smirked at my mother, then turned to me, a smile so sincere, so warm, that it could compete with the sun itself.
“We decorated my room,” Holly chirped.
Liam chuckled, reaching out and mussing her hair.
“It’s just getting started,” he smiled.
“Dad’s buying me a new bed, one that’s shaped like a sleigh,” Holly announced proudly.
“Yeah. I’m picking it up in a couple days,” Liam reported.
This was all moving so fast. My head was spinning. A room? He was making Holly a room at his house?
“That’s great,” I sighed, unable to shake off my mother’s stares.
I knew what she was thinking.
“Can you come see it when it’s done?” Holly pleaded, pulling on my arm.
“Of course,” I agreed.
Other than the short introduction to Holly, I hadn’t stepped foot in Liam’s house since we were a couple. Our last kiss, our last goodbye, and our last… I couldn’t even think about it without tearing up.
Chapter Eleven
Liam
Aiden stood on his front porch, his hands pushed deep into his pockets, and his eyes staring down at the ground. I pulled up to his house, kicking gravel beneath my tires, and quickly rolled down the window.
“You ready?” I called out, pulling his attention from the tops of his shoes to me.
It was the first time we’d really seen one another since I found out about Holly and how he helped keep the secret. I needed his help with the bed I ordered for Holly’s room, and we were, after all, best friends.
“Man, it’s really nice having you back in town,” Aiden smiled, sliding into the truck.
“It’s good to be back,” I admitted.
“So, this is it? You’re staying?” he questioned as I pulled away from his house.
It was going to be a long drive, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into this so early in the trip.
“Yeah,” I replied with a smile.
“I’m really sorry,” he sighed.
Shit. I guessed we were getting into this.
“What’s done is done. I forgive ya, but I can’t say that I understand why yo
u didn’t tell me,” I responded.
Aiden shifted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with my comment. We had three towns to drive through to pick up the sleigh bed. I really didn’t want the ride to be like this.
“All that matters is I know now,” I added, hoping to ease the tension.
“Liam, she made me promise. I didn’t think you’d ever come back, and if ya did, shit man, I didn’t think you’d be too happy to find out you had an eleven-year-old kid,” he stammered.
“Happy? What did happy have to do with anything? I wasn’t happy that the entire town kept a secret from me, one that could’ve changed my life,” I snapped.
“Yeah, exactly, changed your life, for what?” Aiden pointed out. “For diapers, formula, life in a small town, no future? You wouldn’t have experienced half, hell, probably any of what you have if you’d known.”
“That was my choice, not yours, not Alyssa’s, and certainly not Maria’s,” I growled.
Aiden didn’t rebut. The truck grew silent; only the sound of tires spinning across the pavement filled the cab. My blood was boiling as I began thinking about all the time I’d lost with Holly and about my chance with Alyssa I’d thrown away for nothing.
“I wish I had it to do over,” Aiden sighed.
I turned to my friend. He was staring out the window, watching the road as my heart began to soften. It wasn’t his fault. He was sworn to secrecy. Hell, I may have done the same.
“Me too,” I reached across the cab, resting my hand on his shoulder.
It was obvious he was sorry. It was written all over his face.
“I’m here now, and that’s all that matters. I have a lot of time to make up for,” I smiled, lightening the tension between us.
“So, you’re really staying?” he asked.
“I am,” I grinned.
“I can’t believe you’re a fuckin’ dad,” he gasped, slouching down in the seat of the truck.
I shook my head, laughed, and then turned my attention to the road ahead of us. I couldn’t either.
The radio played softly with an old country tune as I pulled from the highway and onto the backroads into the next town. The words coming through in my speakers made me think of Alyssa and how her smile still melted my heart.