by Ivy Jordan
“How did we meet?” she asked.
It was obvious my story was creating several holes that left her curious. I knew I had to tell her the truth, at least some of it. “We’ve known each other since we were kids,” I admitted.
She looked shocked, confused, distrusting.
“Here,” I pulled out an old photo album from under the coffee table. I set it in her lap and let her open it slowly. She stared at the images, and her fingers rolled across them as if to try and steal a memory.
“That’s me?” she asked, her finger stopped on an image of a lanky blonde girl with knobby knees and crooked ponytails. “Yes. And that’s me,” I said, pointing to the chubby kid with freckled beside her.
“Does that trigger any memories?” I asked.
She shook her head, tears filling her eyes and the stress of the situation beginning to show through her trembling hands. “You may need some rest. We can look at more pictures tomorrow,” I suggested, sliding the photo album from her lap.
“I am tired,” she sighed. “Where do I sleep?”
The thought of lying next to Maddie all night filled me with excitement, but I knew it would only cause her anxiety. I hoped we would grow closer, eventually getting to that stage, but it was obvious it wasn’t going to be tonight.
“I have a guest room. You can sleep in there if you’re more comfortable,” I offered.
“Thank you,” she smiled warmly in my direction.
It was settled: Maddie would sleep in the guest room until I could win her over.
Chapter Four
Maddie
Everything just seemed off to me. I knew I was suffering from amnesia, and that Isaac continued to tell me it was normal to feel the way I’d been feeling, but I still wasn’t convinced.
I was dressed and ready to go see my doctor for the follow-up appointment, but I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. My eyes scanned the guest room, looking at the small trinkets that Isaac said were mine. They were supposedly so special that I’d brought them with me on this trip, my alleged last trip. If the little brass unicorn was so special, how come I didn’t feel any connection to it? Something about the music box triggered a feeling, but not quite a memory. I picked it up, holding it in the palm of my hand, and turned the old key with my fingers. A melody played, one I knew I recognized, but couldn’t quite get myself to remember. The tune made me sad, anxious, and a little angry.
My clothes were hanging in the closet, just a few. It didn’t look like I packed to stay, more like I’d packed in a rush with no real matching outfits, and only enough to last a few days.
Nothing in the house looked as if it were mine. It looked like a man lived here alone, not like a man who was ready to move in his fiancée. The ring on my finger fit perfectly, and the diamond was large and beautiful. I knew it had to cost quite a bit, so he obviously loved me very much.
Guilt began to spread through my body once again, realizing this must be just as hard for Isaac. What it must be like to have the woman you love, the one who you planned to marry, just completely forget you.
Knock, knock.
“You ready to go? We’re gonna be late,” Isaac called through the thick wooden door.
“I’ll be right out,” I responded.
I took a few more moments to convince myself that this was all normal before I left the safety of my room.
Isaac was in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of coffee. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m just anxious about the visit,” I admitted. “It’s been over a week since I’ve been here, and almost two since the accident. Shouldn’t I remember something by now?” I pleaded.
Isaac leaned against the counter, his frame solid and tight. It was obvious he spent time on his body, ensuring it was muscular and appealing. He told me I was a yoga instructor, and my own body proved to be very fit, so I didn’t argue, even though it didn’t feel right. I’d been doing yoga every morning for the last week, but it didn’t feel natural.
“This is all normal,” Isaac assured me for the countless time. I knew he had to be sick of my whining, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted desperately to know who I was, who he was, and to remember our life together.
He smiled warmly as he moved towards me. His thick, muscular arms wrapped around me, giving me that sensation of safety once they were tightened around my small frame. There was a strange familiarity that struck me as he held me in his arms, one that I couldn’t quite pull into an actual memory. “Things will get better. I promise,” Isaac whispered in my ear.
I had already left my job, was planning to move here with him to start our life together, and had no family left I really knew and for some reason no friends, so a part of me tried to convince my heart that it didn’t matter if I never remembered. Isaac was all I had, and he was here, his arms holding me, keeping me safe, that’s all that mattered.
He leaned out, loosening his embrace. Damn, his eyes sent shivers down my spine and caused my breasts to tingle. There had to be something between us that was great; my body’s reaction to his touch proved that.
“We better go,” I whispered, pulling away from what I felt was an impending kiss. I wasn’t ready. Even though my body reacted, wanting it, wanting him, I couldn’t. Not yet.
Disappointment filled his eyes, and the guilt I dreaded filled my mind. It’s just a kiss, one simple kiss. He is the man I loved, the one I would marry; what was the big deal?
I shook off the guilt, telling myself that my memory would need to return before I kissed him. He may be my fiancé, but he is still a stranger.
“I’m sorry,” I uttered.
“It’s okay. I understand. No pressure,” Isaac comforted me with a friendly pat on the shoulder. Damn, now it’s like we’re just old pals, roommates, not lovers at all. I knew I was going to have to get ready soon, otherwise I’d end up losing him, the only one I had in the entire world.
I played with the stereo in the Escalade as we drove to the hospital, finally stopping on a classical music station. It made me happy, at ease, and I suddenly felt a connection with myself. “I like classical music,” I announced cheerfully.
Isaac nodded and smirked in my direction. “I was hoping you’d convert to rock,” he laughed.
“So, you knew I like classical music?” I pushed, slightly irritated he didn’t tell me.
“The doctor said not to push anything on you, to allow you to find your own way,” he stated firmly.
Yes, that is what the doctor said. I wasn’t going to let my irritation take away the fact I’d finally found something out about myself. This was a huge breakthrough.
“This thing is destroying the planet,” I sighed, pushing back into the leather seat. Isaac laughed, loudly and with a strange high pitch. “What?” I questioned, beginning to laugh myself.
“You’re gonna be just fine,” he smiled.
He explained that I was always trying to save the earth and everything on it. It was nice to feel as though my identity was returning, even if I didn’t feel a true connection to it.
Walking into the hospital gave me a sensation of comfort. The path we traveled to get back to the fourth floor was the same one I’d traveled to leave it. Everything was familiar, making me feel safe and secure.
Dr. Morris greeted me with a cheerful smile, his dark eyes filled with hope. “I’ve still not remembered anything,” I groaned, realizing I was crushing his hope.
“Nothing?” he asked, his head tilting like that wasn’t normal at all.
“She’s starting to,” Isaac piped in, reminding me about the classical music, and the comment about his gas guzzling truck.
Dr. Morris seemed pleased with those revelations and began questioning me on my daily routine. It was simple, boring, and didn’t feel like mine at all. I explained the situation as Isaac had explained it to me, that I didn’t live here, that I’d given up my career as a yoga instructor, and that I didn’t have anything to trigger my memory. “Maybe you two should take a trip
to Portland,” he suggested.
I liked that suggestion. I wanted to be around my belongings and my life. This didn’t sound like it was mine, so how could it ever trigger a memory?
Isaac seemed distraught. “I’ll work on making that happen,” he said, but he didn’t seem too convincing.
Dr. Morris assured me everything was normal at this rate, that it was still early. The accident had left damage to my brain, but nothing that wasn’t repairable with time and avoidance of stress. Stress? Yeah, that’s all I feel anymore; well, that and guilt.
“So, have you thought about trying yoga to jog your memory?” the doctor asked.
“I have, but it just didn’t seem like it was my thing. I struggled with some of the moves, to be honest,” I admitted, feeling as though that was a sign of weakness that my body forgot what it had been trained to do so well before. Maybe I wasn’t that good as an instructor.
“You obviously exercise. Try going to the gym; maybe the environment will help,” the doctor suggested.
I watched Isaac’s eyes shift as he spoke. There was something strange about how he was acting, almost as if he didn’t want me to remember.
“There is a gym not far from Isaac’s house,” I noted, unable to call it my house or ours, because it wasn’t.
“There ya go,” he said with a smile.
Isaac had stayed home from work the first couple days, but for the last few he’d been leaving to go to the office. He was never gone long, but it did give me time to possibly head to the gym and do something on my own. I agreed with the doctor, felt relief that my memory not returning wasn’t a sign of permanent damage, and felt hopeful that I’d get back to Portland to possibly find something familiar.
Chapter Five
Isaac
The rain beat against the back window with a forceful intent as I watched Maddie butter her toast. “No jelly?” I asked.
Her head tilted, as if I asked her something complex, and then a soft sigh escaped her lips. “I don’t think I like jelly,” she said.
I chuckled, shaking my head gently. “Good. Things are starting to work themselves out,” I acknowledged.
The last week, lots of things were becoming clearer to Maddie, and it scared me to death. I didn’t want to lose her, but I knew once she found out the truth, she’d leave, probably hating me for the rest of her life.
“I really wish it would quit raining,” she whined, staring out at the wild ocean. I was glad it was raining, glad that she couldn’t walk to the gym and become more acquainted with her old life. The doctor’s suggestion had triggered something in Maddie, something I knew was from her old life. She loved being in the gym, telling me the smell, the noise, it all made her feel like she belonged. That was the life I wanted her to forget, the one that would only bring her more pain. Her life here, with me, that was the one I wanted to work on, the only one that mattered. I loved her, and soon, she’d love me. I needed more time.
“It should be nice tomorrow,” I smiled, secretly hoping that it would storm for the next three months.
Her hips drew me in as she stretched up to reach the cinnamon from the cabinet’s top shelf. That ass; fuck, it was tight and hard, and I wanted desperately to press my cock up against its warmth. She turned and her cheeks reddened, as if she knew what I was thinking. I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt roll through my veins, and worked to stop the blood flow to my cock before it was too late.
“I’ll just work out here,” she said contently.
Her smile paralyzed me, frozen in its presence. Damn, I loved that smile. I’d loved it from the moment I first saw it.
“I’ll only be at the office for a few hours,” I promised, quickly finishing off the coffee left in my mug.
There was awkwardness between us for a moment, one that screamed sexual tension. My cock twitched against my jeans as I watched her slouch against the counter, the small of her back resting above the drawer. I could just grip that tiny waist, lift her to the counter and settle into her warmth. My mouth watered as I imagined her taste, her flavor, her scent. I want her bad.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, her voice cracking a bit as she spoke.
Was she feeling it too? Did she want me to rush across the kitchen and take her, finally make her mine?
My eyes lingered on her breasts, small and perky. They were pressed up against her tank top, no bra underneath. My lips tingled at the thought of pressing around her tight nipples, sucking, pulling, and teasing with my mouth and tongue. Oh yes, Maddie Stewart was a beautiful woman, sexy, vibrant, and I had to do whatever it took to keep her from harm, even if that meant risking losing her for good.
She turned nervously, rinsing a cup under the faucet. I didn’t want to make her nervous, so I tucked in my lust and mumbled a quick goodbye. It was becoming harder and harder to steer clear of her sexy little body.
I left the house in a slight daze, still lacking the adequate amount of blood to my brain. I jumped into the driver’s seat of the Escalade and started my way to the office. It was close enough to walk, but with the storm, I decided to drive instead. The rain might’ve done me some good, cooled me down from the heat boiling in my crotch.
“Good morning,” Beth greeted me as I entered the office. She was tall, lean, and extremely smart. She was the kind of woman that men dreamt about but feared to approach. “You’ve had a phone ringing in your safe all morning,” she informed as she smiled, obviously waiting for an explanation.
“Shit, I forgot about that,” I gasped, quickly rushing to my office.
Beth was my assistant, a person I told everything to, but I couldn’t explain this, so I didn’t even try.
I opened the safe, pulled out the phone that belonged to Maddie, and closed my door. The phone was damaged to the point I didn’t think it could be salvaged. I’d worked all week, spending every second of my spare time on reading how to repair it, ordering parts, and finally getting it put back together. I’d inserted the battery the night before, placed it in the safe and left. I wasn’t sure if it would ever work again, but right now, I was delighted to see it was.
The phone was blinking, so I opened it, noticing she had several missed calls from Rob Fallon. I opened up her messages and found their conversations. I found where he’d left her several texts over the last couple weeks, and the missed calls were countless. He was desperate to find her, to get her back. I wasn’t going to let that happen.
He never was going to harm her again. She had told me all about this abusive asshole. I was worried she would go back to him if she couldn’t remember everything he had done to her.
I still couldn’t believe she was wearing the engagement ring she got from him when she arrived in Miami. I thought she had finally ended it.
My heart ached as I scrolled through the texts between Rob and Maddie. She told him she loved him, how happy she was that she found him, and then the tone changed. She told him to leave her alone, that she couldn’t live with his abuse any longer, and that she was starting a new life, somewhere far away. He obviously didn’t get the message clearly, or he was just that pushy, but his pleas for her to talk, to come back, and to give him a second chance were relentless.
So she had ended it.
This was enough proof to show her he was abusive if she ever thought about going back to him.
I knew he’d given her that ringtone, and I couldn’t fathom why she hadn’t taken it off when she arrived in Miami. Does she still love him?
The phone rang again, startling me. It was him. Fuck!
Beth walked towards my office, and I knew she was ready for an explanation. I didn’t have one. I slid my finger to the ignore button and quieted the phone as she entered my office. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“It’s a friend’s project. She asked me to fix the phone her husband broke when she found it, hoping I could find out what he was using it for,” I lied.
She seemed satisfied. I’d taken on jobs for friends before, ones that she wasn’t a part of,
but never ones that I’d kept so secret.
“You’ve been acting a little strange lately. You sure you’re okay?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, I’m great. I’ve just had a lot going on at home, projects I needed to finish,” I rambled.
I knew she wasn’t buying it. She knew me better than that. We worked together every day, sometimes at night, and spending that much time with someone, you learn their behaviors. Mine was off, and she knew it. Soon enough, she’d find out why.
“I’ve gotta head downtown to the courthouse; you play here while I’m gone?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said quickly, finding it a little offensive she felt the need to babysit me.
Beth gave me a look, one that said she knew something was going on, something more than just a friend’s project, and projects around my house.
She finally left, leaving me to deal with the phone that wouldn’t stop ringing. I had it on silent, but it buzzed across my desk as I looked up any dirt I could find on Rob.
Everything I found was flattering, nothing that suggested he was the monster I knew him to be. He was tall with dark features, and a smile that looked like a soap opera star’s. His Facebook page was filled with charity fundraiser events, over a thousand friends, and pictures of him and Maddie. They looked happy. She looked happy.
The phone continued to buzz, bouncing across my antique desk like it was trying to escape. I reached for it as it neared the edge, accidentally sliding to answer. “Maddie, are you there?” a voice spoke through the small receiver.
“Are you okay? Please answer me,” it continued to plead.
I pulled the phone to my ear and took a deep breath. “You need to leave her alone,” I said firmly.
“Who is this? What have you done with Maddie?” the voice demanded.
“Maddie is fine. She doesn’t want to see you again so lose this number,” I ordered.
“She can tell me that herself,” he argued.
“She already has. I know what you did to her,” I snarled.