“What the hell are you talking about, Hope? I just took your virginity. I might have started a baby inside you.”
She blanched but said, “I made love to you because I wanted to know what it would be like. But I’m not going to marry a man who doesn’t love me.”
“I—I—I—” Jake stuttered, but couldn’t make himself say the words. She ought to know how he felt without them. “Listen, girl, you’ll marry me—”
Hope scrambled off the side of the bed, taking the sheet with her and leaving Jake naked on the bed. He stood and reached for his jeans and yanked them on, then turned toward her. “When I tell your father what happened here today, he’ll—”
“The days of shotgun weddings are long past,” Hope said. “My father isn’t going to insist you marry me. I’m a big girl. I knew what I was doing.”
Jake felt his face flushing. “I don’t like being used,” he said angrily.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be gone from here in an hour.”
“The hell you will! I need a baby-sitter for the next week, and you’re it. Like it or lump it.”
“You can’t make me stay.”
“No. But I can tell folks you’re a quitter.”
He watched her eyes narrow and her chin jut. “Fine. I’ll stay until the wedding. Which I trust you won’t cancel on my account.”
“I’m going to get married, all right. And live happily ever after, with a grown-up who knows better than to play games.”
The color drained from Hope’s face, and he could see her whole body was trembling. “Get out!” she rasped. “Get out, before I—”
Jake grabbed his boots and headed for the door. He stopped when he got there and turned to face her. “Think about my offer. A week from now, all bets are off.”
She stared at him, her heart in her eyes and said, “Do you love me, Jake?”
He said nothing, the words stuck in his throat.
A tear slid down her cheek. “Goodbye, Jake.”
A band tightened around his chest, until he thought he’d suffocate. “You’re formidable, Hope,” he said angrily. “Somewhere out there is a very lucky man.”
Then he turned and left the room.
CHAPTER EIGHT
FAITH
AMANDA HAD HUNG UP THE PHONE after calling Jake’s ranch early Saturday morning and dropped into a kitchen chair. Jake should have called her if he needed help with his niece and nephew. She examined her feelings on discovering that he’d called Hope Butler instead. She felt troubled, to say the least.
When the phone rang again, she leapt for it, hoping it was Jake calling. She was disappointed when she heard her principal’s voice.
“Hello, Mr. Denton,” she said. “How are you?”
“My arm’s still broken,” Denton replied. “Thought I’d take you and Rabb Whitelaw up on that offer to put together the Christmas toys for my kids. I called Rabb earlier this morning, and he came by and picked up everything. Said he could work better in his shop, because that’s where he has his tools.”
Amanda bit her lip. She didn’t want to explain to her principal why she would prefer not to spend time in Rabb Whitelaw’s company before her wedding. On the other hand, it wasn’t fair to stick Rabb with the responsibility for putting together the toys for Denton’s kids, when the principal’s injury had occurred at her home.
“No problem,” she told Denton. “Rabb and I will make sure all the toys are back at your house ready to be wrapped by the end of the day.”
“Thanks, Amanda. I really appreciate it,” Denton said.
He hung up without saying goodbye. Amanda took a deep breath and let it out. She could act like a rational, responsible adult around Rabb. And she owed him her help.
She decided it would be best to simply show up at his door. Otherwise, he might try to put her off, and she wanted this strangeness between them over with before the wedding.
She’d met Rabb at his shop once or twice when he’d substituted for Jake as her escort. It was located on the edge of town, on the bottom floor of a charming Victorian two-story white frame house, complete with forest-green gingerbread trim. Rabb lived on the upper floor, at the top of an exquisite winding staircase.
Amanda’s heart was pounding by the time she knocked on Rabb’s door. It started to gallop when he opened it, and she saw him for the first time in a week.
“You need a shave,” she said.
He rubbed the short dark beard that covered his cheeks and chin and said, “Haven’t had the time. I’ve been working.”
“Oh?” She waited for him to tell her what he’d been doing, but when he didn’t, she said, “I came to help with the toys for Denton’s kids.”
“I can manage,” he said, standing in the doorway, blocking her entrance.
“It’s really my responsibility.”
She could see the indecision in his face and took a step forward. He stepped back rather than have her run into him. Once she was inside, he closed the door behind her and turned to face her with his arms crossed over his chest, making it clear she wasn’t welcome.
She turned away from him to survey the workroom. She was aware of the sun warming the open space from large windows that surrounded the room and the rich smell of hickory sawdust. Power tools were spaced around the room, and tools hung in neat rows along one wall. She noticed the open boxes in one corner and said, “I see you’ve started.”
“Yep. Really, I can handle this. You can leave.”
It wasn’t easy facing Rabb, and she kept her hands knotted in front of her so he wouldn’t realize how nervous she felt. “I want this awkwardness between us gone,” she said.
He snorted. “Easier said than done.”
She forced herself to meet his gaze. “We’re going to be in-laws. We’re going to be seeing each other all the time. We have to be able to act normally around each other. Or else...” Her throat felt tight and she swallowed painfully.
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Damn it, Mandy. I don’t think—”
She crossed and laid a hand on his arm. “Please, Rabb. We were friends once. I’d like us to be friends again.”
He stared down at her hand, then took a step back so her hand fell away. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Amanda felt as if she’d lost something priceless, but she could hardly blame him. If she was this uncomfortable being around him, she could imagine how he felt, knowing she was going to marry his brother. “All right,” she conceded. “Not friends, then.” She managed a smile and said, “How about friendly acquaintances?”
His lips curved up on one side. “I suppose that’ll have to do for now.”
She felt her shoulders unbunching. She headed for the stack of boxes and said, “What all do we have to put together?”
He followed her and said, “Bicycle, tricycle, dollhouse and train set.”
“Doesn’t sound too bad,” she said. “Shall we work together on each item or split them up?”
“I’ve already started on the bicycle. You can have the tricycle.”
“I get the train set,” she said quickly.
He wrinkled his nose. “You want me to do the dollhouse?”
“It’ll be good for you,” she said with a laugh, opening the box that contained the tricycle parts.
They worked in companionable silence for the next half hour, which was about how long it took her to put together the tiny red tricycle for Denton’s four-year-old daughter. Amanda was sitting cross-legged on the floor, and she turned to observe Rabb, who was tightening the bolts on the back wheel of a racing bike for Denton’s ten-year-old son.
“I would have given my eyeteeth for a bike like this when I was a kid,” Rabb said.
“You didn’t have a bicycle?” Amanda asked, surprised.
“I got one for Christmas when I was nine,” Rabb said. “It was secondhand.”
Amanda raised a brow but didn’t say anything. She realized that Rabb must have gotten his first bike before he was adopted by the Whitelaws, because they were wealthy enough to buy new.
“I had my heart set on a new English racer,” Rabb continued. “Of course, with my dad dead for three years and us living on food stamps, it was amazing my mother managed to get me any bike at all. The secondhand bike she found had fat tires and a big seat and wide handlebars.
“Anyway, she’d sanded it down and sprayed it with some turquoise paint I guess she thought was pretty, and added some new red plastic grips with streamers at the handlebars.”
He met her gaze and said, “I was a total brat about it. I told her I’d never ride anything that looked that dumb. I wanted a new English racer, and she could take that stupid bike back to wherever she got it.”
Amanda stared, uncertain what to say.
Rabb shoved a hand through his hair. “I made her cry.” He grimaced and admitted, “It was the meanest thing I ever did. I never even told her I was sorry. I mean, before she died six months later.”
“What happened to her?”
“She had leukemia. I didn’t even know she was sick until they put her in the hospital. She went into a coma and died without me ever having a chance to say...anything.”
“I’m so sorry,” Amanda said.
Rabb met her gaze and said, “I learned a lesson I never forgot.”
“What was that?”
“Don’t wait to say what you feel. Don’t count on second chances.”
Their gazes held. Amanda heard herself swallow.
“I think I’m in love with you,” Rabb said. He hesitated, then said, “I know I’m in love with you.”
Amanda groaned. “Please. Don’t.”
A moment later he was pulling her to her feet and into his embrace. When his mouth sought hers, she turned her face aside, so his lips brushed her cheek. She felt the tears welling in her eyes, but the sob caught her unawares.
She hardly ever cried, because she thought tears were a sign of weakness. She hadn’t shed a tear at her mother’s funeral. She’d been unable to feel anything except relief—and guilt for feeling relieved. Now she was crying for the second time in two weeks. Her chest heaved, and she was racked with loud, gasping sobs.
“I don’t know wh-hy I’m crying,” she said.
Rabb’s arms tightened around her, and he rocked her, offering comfort. “I’m a sonofabitch,” he murmured. “A desperate sonofabitch,” he added. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Mandy. I’m sorry.”
Her hands slid up to grasp him around the neck, and she pressed herself against him. He wasn’t as tall as Jake, and she noticed how their bodies fit together in all the right places. He kept rocking her and crooning to her, and she wanted to crawl inside him and hide from the reality that was staring her in the face.
She liked Rabb better than she liked his brother. She might even love him. She was unhappy and confused. And she didn’t have much time—seven short days—to sort things out.
She’d never really thought too much about pheromones and sex appeal because her mother’s illness had kept her from having much experience with men. Jake was so stunningly handsome, any woman would have found him attractive. And she did.
But she’d never wanted to be held by Jake the way she wanted to be held by Rabb. She’d never felt the overwhelming desire to be kissed by Jake that she felt when she was in Rabb’s arms.
She raised her head to look into Rabb’s tormented eyes. She wanted to offer comfort. She needed to offer comfort.
She put her hand to his cheek, feeling the rough beard against her sensitive palm. How could such a simple touch arouse such erotic feelings? Her hand found its way to his mouth, and she felt his kiss against her fingertips. She stared into his eyes, feeling her insides dance at the prospect of further intimacy.
The pad of his thumb brushed at a tear on her cheek, before he dipped his head to kiss away the tear on her other cheek. “Mandy,” he murmured against her lips.
Her rational mind was telling her to get out, to save herself. But a part of her desperately wanted the kiss that was only a breath away. “Rabb,” she whispered.
It was a plea. A prayer. A wish that he granted.
Her heart was beating so fast she thought it might burst with fear—and with anticipation. She opened herself to him as his mouth covered hers, welcoming the urgent intrusion of his tongue. She felt his hand on her breast and arched into it, at the same time pressing her hips against his, feeling the welcome hardness and the heat.
She gave herself up to him in every way a woman can give herself to a man, body and soul, unwilling to curb the pleasure that flooded every sense. She heard his guttural groan as he deepened the kiss, and her own moan in response as his hand cupped her breast and his thumb found its sensitive peak.
Her knees threatened to give way, and she clung to him, her hands grasping his hair, her body thrust against his, wanting to be closer, frustrated by the layers of cotton and denim that kept them apart.
He dragged her sweater up over her head, while she struggled with the buttons on his chambray shirt. She pulled the shirt down over his shoulders, her hands caressing his flesh, enjoying the crisp feel of the matted curls on his chest.
She was hardly aware that her own cotton shirt had suffered the same fate as his. He was struggling with the back clasp on her bra when the phone rang.
The ring was intentionally loud so it could be heard over machinery, but it echoed shrilly in a room where their labored breathing was the only other sound.
It was a wake-up call that couldn’t be ignored.
But Amanda didn’t want to wake up. She wanted to stay immersed in the wonderful dream she was having with Rabb. She dropped her forehead onto his chest and gripped him around the waist. She felt his hands circle her hips as he leaned his head against the top of hers.
They let the phone ring until it stopped.
Neither of them pulled away, but it was equally impossible to continue. The trance, the mood, the utter insanity of the moment had passed.
“I don’t understand why this happened,” Amanda said, still holding on to Rabb. She looked up into his face and said, “I didn’t want you to stop.”
“Are you going to tell Jake? Or am I?”
Amanda took a step back. “I will.”
“Oh, God, Mandy. That’s wonderful!” He picked her up and swung her in a circle, unable to keep the grin from his face.
She laughed delightedly, then remembered how much their happiness was going to hurt Jake, and sobered. “Put me down, Rabb.”
He set her down, but his lips locked on hers at the same moment. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. She felt overwhelmed by love and desire. She felt herself going under, immersed in emotions that were thrilling because they were so unexpected. Kissing Jake had never made her feel like this. And no matter how much she had to hurt him, she couldn’t marry him. Not when she felt this way toward his brother.
But it also wasn’t right to be kissing Rabb before she’d broken her engagement to Jake. Or before a decent amount of time had passed. Enough so it wouldn’t be so obvious that her feelings had been transferred from one Whitelaw to another.
She pushed herself far enough away to gasp, “Rabb, we have to—” But he took her under again, and it was long moments before her brain could function enough to remind her that pursuing a relationship with Rabb was going to have to be postponed, at least for a while.
“Rabb,” she said, pushing herself away to arm’s distance and searching out his eyes.
His gaze was fierce, possessive, and she felt herself responding to the desire she saw reflected in his eyes. “Wait,” sh
e said, putting a flat palm on his chest. “We have to go slow. I’ll tell Jake I can’t marry him, but I don’t want to tell him it’s because I’m choosing you instead.”
Rabb frowned. “Why not, if it’s the truth?”
“It’s going to be bad enough to reject him at this late date. It would be unconscionable to—”
“Jake will understand,” Rabb said.
“No,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “He won’t. He’ll be hurt. It will be bad enough if we end up together eventually. It would be cruel for us to throw our relationship in his face.”
Rabb took a step back, so her hand dropped, and crossed his arms. “How long are we supposed to put our relationship on hold?”
Amanda’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know. This town is too small for us to risk gossip by seeing each other before a decent period has passed.”
“How long?” Rabb insisted.
Amanda bit her lip. “Six months?”
“No.”
“Three months.”
“No.”
“Any less than that and—”
“I’ve been waiting for you half my life,” Rabb said, gripping her shoulders. “I’m not waiting any longer. Besides, Jake’s no dummy. He’ll figure out the truth. It’ll be far worse later when he realizes you lied to him.”
“What about the scandal we’d create?” Amanda asked.
“I don’t really give a damn what people think.”
“I do,” Amanda said. “I’m a teacher. I can’t be the source of gossip or scandal. I might lose my job.”
“I can support us,” Rabb said.
“I like my job. I don’t want to lose it.”
Rabb made a growling sound. “You’re not going to lose your job because you broke an engagement and married another man right away.”
She stared at him, shocked. “We couldn’t possibly get married for at least a year. It would be...outrageous!”
“Bullshit.”
“I don’t approve of language—”
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