“You forget,” he said, pushing my quilt away from his leg. “I can read your mind. What was your point?”
My shoulders sunk. “Why me? Why a plain, ordinary, scarred human, when you could be with a hot vampire chick?”
He moved his words around inside his mouth for a second, obviously finding the best way to put this. “You do things to me that no other girl, human or vampire, has done. It’s not optional for me to love you, Ara. When I’m with you”—he looked at me, exhaling slowly before continuing—“I’m more human than monster. More heart-and-soul than vacant-shadowy-night.” He blinked softly and added, “Plus,” with a smile.
“Plus what?”
“Plus, human or not, scarred, skinny, fat, ugly, you are exactly my type, and I have been crazy in love with you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
I looked down to bite my goofy grin.
“It’s not enough for me just to love you though,” he said. “I don’t know if maybe it’s the vampire in me, but I need to be around you—to see you, to touch you. And I want that every waking moment of my day, like you’re air to me. Of all the girls I’ve…” He cleared his throat. “I’ve just never been this way with anyone.”
I buried my face in my hands as his words sent a rush of love through my chest. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to fall in love with someone so dangerous. My parents were afraid I’d start hanging with kids on drugs. This was way, way worse.
“Ara? Are you crying, ma jolie fille?” David’s hesitant embrace fell around me, and the fear I felt before edged upward from the center of my stomach, but I closed my eyes and focused on the truth. This was David. Not some cold, hard murderer.
My David.
The vampire ran a cool fingertip under my eye, a kind of affection, kind of touch, that was becoming so normal to me now. “Are you okay?” he asked, suddenly more concerned when he realized I was laughing, not crying.
“Relax, David. I haven’t lost it… yet.”
“Sorry.” His face cracked with a breathy smile. “It’s just that… when a guy tells a girl he’s a vampire, he doesn’t expect to be laughed at.”
“In my defense, I screamed as well.”
He stiffened.
“Well, would you expect anything less than fear, David? You’re a dangerous creature… not a Cullen,” I added, with a wry smile.
He laughed, loud and full. The sound warmed the room with its grace. “I wish.” He rolled his head backward as the laugh dissipated to a smile. “Good story though.”
“You read that book?”
“Of course.” He breathed out, still smiling as he added, “Wouldn’t life be so much easier if it were really that way?”
“No, because then you’d be icy-cold… and pale. But I like your golden skin.”
“I know you do.”
My ears and cheeks flushed with heat as I remembered how lovely he looked in the sun; how he seemed to glow, his skin so soft and smooth, hairless, as far as I could see. It made me want to take his shirt off right now just to be sure it was all real.
A tiny smile tugged the corners of David’s lips, changing his whole expression.
“Stop it!” I scolded, holding my finger up to warn him against his invasive mind-reading behavior. Would there ever be any way to get used to him being constantly in my head?
“Probably not,” he said, answering my thought.
I groaned to myself, rolling my eyes. In a list of things I didn’t like about his true self, the mind-reading wasn’t necessarily at the top. And I realized, as I wandered over and sat on my floor, that I was warming a little toward him. At least enough to hear him out before I cast him out.
“Okay. So those myths aside—”
“Just to save you time, Ara, technically everything you think you know is a myth.”
“Like what?”
“For one, despite what ancient stories tell you, vampires are not actually dead.” He slid to the edge of my bed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “And we’re not un-dead, either; we’re actually alive.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And we’re also not evil demons or weirdoes with anemia, but,” he said with an upward gesture of his index finger, “we are, in fact, colder, which is where some of the stories come from, I guess.”
“But… why are you cold if you’re alive?”
“Why are you cold?” He grinned. I shrugged. “We’re all different. Although, for most vampires, if we go for long periods without nourishment, we get colder and a little pale.”
“So, you’re not so very different from me then?”
“Ha! Maybe you’re a vampire and you just don’t know it.” He grinned, his very cute dimple making me laugh.
It was nice to laugh with him again. “There’s just one thing I’m curious about, though. You said you’re not dead?”
He nodded.
Everything David and I ever did together, every moment I touched him since we met, I ran over in my mind. “I can’t remember ever hearing a heartbeat. Do you have a heart?”
His gaze fell on his clasped hands. “I don’t have a heartbeat, because I don’t need my heart to beat. You see, the energy—the life force I draw from a human—moves the blood through my arteries. It’s very powerful.”
“Like magic?”
“Kind of. And I don’t need my heart to pump blood to my lungs for oxygenation either, because I don’t make the blood. I convert it. It comes to me with oxygen in it, but it doesn’t run through the veins. It uses the deeper arteries. See?” He held out his forearm and rolled up his sleeve to reveal clear veins, slightly protruding from his skin as if he were flexing his muscles. “They carry the remaining life force of the blood I drink—the energy that makes me immortal. That’s why my veins look skin-tone.”
“So… really? You don’t make your own blood?”
“Not really. When the blood I drink runs out of oxygen and nutrients, I simply drink more.”
“So, if you get cut, do you bleed?”
“Yes.”
“But… it’s not your blood seeping out?”
“It technically is. Like I said, my body converts the blood I drink to use as its own.”
“Wow.” I stared at his arm.
“But,” he added, rolling his sleeve back down, “I do still have a heart.”
My head bounced and my lips pressed together into a thin smile, thinking of the many times he’d shown me that heart. “I know.”
“Then you know I love you?” His hand flinched a little, like he was going to reach for me but thought better of it.
“I know you do. The trouble is… I still love you.”
“Why should that be a problem?”
“Because you’re a vampire, David. You… you kill people!”
He sat back again, rubbing his thumb over his chin. “I was human once, you know. And I do understand how you feel about the killing.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
But his empathy wasn’t good enough. As I sat here, listening and learning, I hoped it would all sway me—make me think that none of it mattered when measured up against how much I loved him. But, so far, it wasn’t working. “So, how long have you been a vampire?”
“Since nineteen thirteen.”
“I knew it! I knew you weren’t an eighteen-year-old boy.” I shook my head in amazement. “It all makes so much sense now, especially how you keep appearing at my side all the time.” After that thought came another, but a more carefully considered question this time. “Are you… alone?”
He shook his head. “I live in a large community of vampires. Plus, I have my uncle and my brother, which is more than most vampires have.”
I nodded casually then stopped when I realized… “Wait, they’re vampires, too?”
“Yes.”
“What about girlfriends? Have you ever had one?” I probably didn’t really want to know, especially if she went out to dinner with him and ended up becoming the main course
.
David laughed again. “I’m not that careless, but yes, I have had girlfriends.”
“Was anyone special? I mean, you’re pretty old, right, so have you ever, like, loved anyone?”
“Loved?”
“Yeah—like you love me.”
“Like I love you?” He shook his head. “Never. But there were two other girls I’ve loved in my existence. Neither of them worked out.”
“Why?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Why do you want to know this?”
I shrugged.
“Fine. Well, let’s just say that, for one of the girls… it turned out that we were really too different, and…” He took a breath, scratching his lip. “And the other was just not meant to be.”
“Well, what happened to her?” I moved an inch closer, sensing his obvious distress.
“Perhaps this story is for another time.”
“Is that what happened two years ago?” I asked after dropping it for a whole three seconds. “Is she the reason you came to live here?”
“Ara, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“So, you can tell me that you kill people, but you won’t talk about ex-girlfriends?”
“Stop it.”
“Why? Why won’t you tell me?” Agitation wandered into my tone. “Was she human, like me? Did—”
“She’s gone!” David yelled. “Okay? Just drop it!”
I sunk back into myself, and David buried his hands in his hair.
“I’m sorry, David.”
“No, Ara, I’m sorry.” His fingers wrapped around mine then before I even realized he was squatting beside me. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that,” he added. “It’s just that… she was a vampire, and she committed a crime, so… they took her away.”
“What crime?”
“Ara, please, I don’t want to talk about it.” He studied the ground as if he couldn’t look at me.
“You really did love her?” I asked quietly.
“Yes. But nothing like the way I love you. That has no measure, but I loved her enough to...”
“To what?”
“To die inside a little because of what happened to her.”
I so badly wanted to ask what happened, especially since I knew vampires couldn’t die. At all. So what ever happened must have been bad. Instead, I asked a question that made me wonder if maybe I could still love him as a vampire. A question that was stained with possible future jealousy. “Will she ever come back?”
“No.”
“Do you want her to?”
“No,” he raised his voice a little, and then softened it, combing his fingers through his hair. “Look. It doesn’t matter. I just… I don’t want to talk about it yet, okay?”
“Okay. I’m sorry. I won’t ask again.”
“No,” he moaned, rolling his head back. “You can ask. Just… not today.”
“That’s what you always say.” In his eyes, he looked ready for a challenge, but too much was going on in my head. I wasn’t up to arguing with him. Instead, my mind wandered through the past few weeks, analyzing and going over everything we said or did together, then stopped on the best memory I had: the butterflies; the look of concentration on his face as they fluttered around us; the seemingly perfect timing.
A very sexy smile spread across David’s lips.
“It wasn’t a timing thing at all, was it?” I asked, full of wonder. “You did that—with the butterflies?”
“It’s one of my many talents,” he said, still grinning.
“But how? Are you magic?”
“No.” He shook his head, almost laughing. “I’m a creature of nature, Ara. Hard as that is to believe—”
“A creature of nature! But you kill people?”
“I’m no different to the lion killing the antelope.”
“Except that the lion doesn’t look like the antelope, or live among its kind.”
“True, but like the lion, I blend into my natural surroundings; he has the advantage of a certain coloring, and I have the ability to emulate the human form.”
“Yeah, but if you’re so natural, how come your species isn’t born; you’re, I don’t know, like, created, aren’t you?”
“You’re unbelievable, girl.” He shook his head, looking ever like a predator squatting there in front of me. “Is it so hard to believe I might be one of God’s creatures, just because I kill?”
I thrust my shoulders back and sat up straight. “Yes.”
“Look…” He exhaled his frustration. “I wasn’t created by witchcraft or magic. And yes, some do say it started as a curse, but vampirism was apparently passed on by those of an ancient bloodline; ergo, I am just another species of humankind.”
“So, are you a descendant of this ancient bloodline?”
“No. I was human once.”
“So you were… turned, not born?”
“Yes.”
“Then you’re not one of God’s creatures.”
“I am, because not everyone can be turned.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it takes a genetic polarity in the human which, when activated by vampire venom, triggers the change in their genetic makeup.”
“A genetic polarity?” I frowned, thinking over his words. I took genetic sciences in school but I wasn’t any good at it, so none of that really made sense to me. “So, are you saying you have to have the right gene to become a vampire?”
“Yup, so even though I’m a supernatural being, I’m actually mostly natural—just also very super.” He grinned warmly, sitting down hard on the floor and straightening one leg out in front of him.
“Then, if you’re not magic, how did you do that thing with the butterflies?”
“They’re just affected by humidity. And vampires? We can manipulate the elements—water and temperature for example.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I can get really scientific about it if you like, but most people fall asleep after about ten minutes.”
He had an explanation for everything. Always. I hated that. “Well, it was the most beautiful moment of my life so far.” I’d dreamed about that mystical bubble of magic nearly every night since that day. Pity he had to ruin it by combining it with my first kiss—with a guy who kills people using his teeth.
“You know…” David hesitated. “There’s a reason I did that, Ara, and it’s not what you think.”
“Did what?”
“Kissed you.”
I hugged my knees, not bothering to tuck my dress under my legs. “I’m listening.”
“I never imagined you would one day find me repulsive, and I knew then that I would be leaving you.” He leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. “But I did it because I love you, and I just wanted to be your first kiss.”
“That’s a little selfish, don’t you think? You should have asked me if I wanted my first kiss to be with a murderer.”
“You were never supposed to find out.” He shook his head, pressing his lips into a flat smile. “And I don’t care if you’re mad at me. It was worth it.”
I smiled, because he was right. I could try to be mad at him for that kiss but, in truth, it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d just eaten, I’d still have wanted my first kiss to be with him. I just wouldn’t tell him that.
I turned my nose up with a flick of my chin. “You’d be more interesting if you were magic.”
He smiled so lovingly at me that I wondered if this whole murderer thing was just a huge lie. “Well, there is an element of magic to my kind, by human definition.”
“Guess there’d have to be with all that speed and healing fast stuff.” I stopped and turned the pages of myth in my mind. “Hang on. You did say you heal fast, right?”
“Yup.” He grinned, hugging his knee.
My mind was getting lost in information. “How?”
“Rapid cell regeneration. It’s responsible for immortality as well,” he answered with a hint of humor in his voice.
; “Okay, Mr. I-Have-An-Answer-For-Everything. And what about the whole vampires are demons thing?” I looked at him, my tone light, quizzical. “Where does that myth come from?”
He shook his head. “There are a few different stories. But we’re not demons.”
“Good thing you’re not, I suppose. I would’ve had a hard time explaining to Nathan’s mom why you suddenly just burst into flames today at church.”
David laughed. “Yes, I imagine you would.”
“So is that why you smiled when we walked into the church?”
“It was. The whole demon thing’s kind of a private joke among my kind.”
“Why? And why do people think holy water can burn vampires?”
“Rumors.”
“Rumors?”
“Yes. Grapevines. Very powerful.” He grinned mischievously. “The whole holy water story started out, originally, when a vampire was found sleeping in his bed. The townspeople believed the man to be dead.” David tapped his chest. “No heartbeat, you see. So, they buried him—alive. And when he finally woke, and dug his way out of the grave, starving and angry, he retaliated by eating most of the townspeople.”
“Retaliated? But they didn’t know he was alive, did they? It wasn’t deliberate, right?”
“No.”
“Then why did he want revenge?”
“Same reason any claustrophobic, which woke to find themselves buried alive, would.”
“Claustrophobic?” I touched my neck. “How can a vampire be claustrophobic?”
David laughed. “We carry over many human traits when we change. We can be moody, thoughtful, arachnophobic, afraid of heights—many things. We’re still mostly human.”
“And this guy was afraid of enclosed spaces?”
“Right. And even if he wasn’t, imagine for a second being trapped in darkness, compounded by a force you cannot see, not knowing which way is up or down.” He studied me thoughtfully. “I told you a vampire’s emotions are stronger?”
“Yeah.”
“This claustrophobic vampire woke in darkness, terrified. As he clawed at the soil for three days, his fear became anger and his anger became fury. When he finally took a breath, he vowed revenge on all who ever laid eyes on him. Then, he stumbled into town and obliterated every soul.”
“What a bastard!”
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 28