“So…” Emily led, “what happened then?”
“Um, well, so he took me upstairs to his room and sat me down for a severe talking to. But I just thought he was hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing at him.”
“My mom does that to my dad all the time. He hates it,” Em said.
“Yeah, but Mike’s feathers aren’t easily ruffled. Like, basically, I can do no wrong. And he was trying not to laugh too, but… then I kind of threw my arms around him and kissed him.” And told him I’ve always loved him. It was the first time I realized there was a limit to what he’d put up with from me; that I could, in fact, do wrong.
“Mm. I don’t blame you,” Emily said. “I’d like to kiss him.”
“Did he kiss you back?” Alana asked, completely arrested by my tale.
“Yeah”—I lowered my head—“for a moment. But then he pushed me away.”
“Like, a small push or a big mean push?” Alana asked.
I hadn’t really thought about it. The force of his rejection felt like he’d flung me across the room, but now I looked back on it for the first time since that night, it was more of a gentle shift. More like he pulled away from me. “I’m not sure,” I said. “It was rejection, and that’s kind of all I really noticed.”
“Ouch.” Emily winced.
“It hurt more that he yelled at me, I think. I mean, he had never yelled at me before—for anything.” I laughed it off, but I’d pushed that memory so far down that remembering it came as a shock. I’d almost convinced myself the kiss never happened. I’d almost convinced myself that all those feelings were a mistake, or at least that meeting David had eradicated them. But they were still there, and it made me feel unsteady, like the feeling you get when you’ve left your assignment at home on its due date.
“Why’d he yell at you?” Alana asked.
“Was it because you kissed him?”
“It was because…” My eyes narrowed to better hear the memory of his words that night. “You know, it’s funny. I thought he yelled at me for kissing him, but he actually said he was just really disappointed in me for drinking. He was worried, I guess.”
“So what did he say about the kiss then?” Emily asked.
“Nothing really.” I shrugged casually. “But it was a mistake. I don’t really feel that way about him. It was just the alcohol.”
“Or did you just tell him it was liquor-lust to save face?” Emily smirked.
“I didn’t tell him anything.” I shook my head. “I kind of ran home after that—never talked about it again.”
“Like, never?” Em asked.
“Nope. I moved here after, and I’ve barely spoken to him since.”
“Oh. So… how will things be when you see him on Tuesday?” I could see the word awkward appear in bold all over Emily’s face.
“It’ll be fine.” I hoped. “So, have you guys got a dress for the Masquerade yet?”
Alana, detecting my need to divert, knelt up and placed the picture she was holding into the box. “I’m wearing the same dress my mother wore, and her mother, and so on.”
“Wow, that’s so cool.” I started gathering the pictures into a pile.
“Mm-hm. It was actually first worn by my great-great-grandmother at the very first town Masquerade.”
“That is totally cool.” Emily handed me a stack of pictures. “I haven’t found one yet. I’m still looking. Just… nothing seems to suit me.”
“I find that really hard to believe, Em.” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, what about you, Ara? Have you got a dress yet?” Alana asked.
I grinned, placing the lid on the box. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“Ooh, you do.” Emily squeaked. “Let’s see it, let’s see it!”
“Okay.” I bounced to my feet. “I’ll just be a sec.”
They both positioned themselves on my bed, anticipation alight in their eyes, and I bounded into my wardrobe, stopping dead as I closed the door behind me and saw a giant white bag hanging on the hook.
My breath quickened, my throat constricting to the size of a straw, when I slowly tugged the zipper down the length of the bag and saw blue. “Damn vampires!”
“What?” Emily called.
“Oh, ah, nothing. Just got bitten by a mozzie.” I sucked my finger, drawing away the mock-irritation of a mosquito bite.
Alana and Emily laughed. “You sound so Australian when you say that.”
“Well, I am Australian.”
“Yeah, I know,” Emily called, “you just never sound it.”
“Well, they say practice makes perfect.” I looked back at the blue dress inside the bag, wondering where those conspiring renegades had stuffed my pretty green dress. And when my eyes brushed past my old purple sweater and faded blue jeans, I saw it there—shoved away like some ratty old coat. “Huh!” I scoffed, reaching for it. But at the last second, stopped.
The blue dress and I stared at each other across the silent battleground of conscience.
It was a pretty dress, and I did love it.
It couldn’t hurt just to try it on again—see if it really was as perfect as I’d been dreaming it was all afternoon.
Without allowing a second for my conscience to overreact, I unbuttoned my jeans, tore off my top and bra, and crawled into the dress, leaving it on the hanger until I had my arms through. Then, I unhitched it from the hook and let it slide into place around the shape of my body. It was hard to think I’d be telling him to return this when it felt so amazing on my skin.
As I reached around to tighten the satin ribbons at the back, I felt a cool touch on my wrist. I spun around mid-gasp, and a tall, handsome vampire placed an elegant finger to his lips. “Shh.”
“David, I—”
“Shh.” He smiled and nodded in the direction of the girls.
“You’re lucky you’re so cute.”
By the turn of his hand, I faced the wall again, closing my eyes when his deft fingers took my ribbons and twisted each one through the loops of the corset, tying them up. It tickled so softly that it made my knees weak. I rested a hand to the wall for support.
“All done,” he said, but as I tried to turn around, he held me in place by my shoulders.
“What’re you doing?”
“Shh.” Using the tip of his very cold finger, the vampire traced a line ever so slowly from the base of my neck all the way down my spine and across my shoulder blades, resting just under where my bra would sit. “I’ve never seen this part of your body before.”
Despite the urge to dissolve under his touch, I held tight to good sense, jerking around to protest the unwelcome gift. But all my anger dissipated as liquid adoration melted the green in his eyes.
“You look so beautiful in this dress, Ara.”
“I do?”
David placed both hands in his back pockets and lowered his shoulders, shaking his head. He just had this way of looking at me, like the human, the cheeky boy from school stared out from one eye, while the truth of his devious thoughts hid within the other. And every time he did that, I was lost. All I wanted now was to take this dress off and tell the girls to go home.
“I love you.” David laughed and kissed my cheek. “I have to go.”
“Hurry up, Ara. What are you doing in there? Sewing the seams?” Emily joked.
“It’s a corset, Em. Good things take time.” I turned back to look at David but, as usual, he left without saying goodbye, leaving only an empty space behind.
I drew a breath to calm the cells he excited in me, and then stepped out to show the girls my dress.
“Oh my God!” Emily jumped up and ran over. “Ara, you look like a princess.”
Alana shook her head, walking slowly over. “No way, she looks like an angel.”
“Look at the way it sets off her eyes. They’re bluer than the sky against that dress, Ara.” Emily ruffled the layers of my skirt, then sighed. “I wish I could find a dress like this.”
“You will. Hey, why do
n’t we all go shopping next week? We’ll find something just as perfect for you,” I said.
Emily nodded eagerly. “I’m in.”
Alana cringed. “I’d rather not. I hate shopping.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, I mean, not hate it, but I’d rather do other things,” she said.
“I’m sure you and I are kindred spirits, Lani.”
“Perhaps.” She shrugged. “Except I have better taste in boys.”
As I turned away, chuckling softly, I caught my reflection in the window. The sky was dark, and though the howling wind and the pattering rain outside made my stomach sink for fear there might be a storm on the way, I saw only a smile on the face of the dark-haired beauty in the glass. She looked happy. And I felt happy.
“Oh my God, Ara!” Emily grabbed the price tag from under my arm. “Was this dress really a thousand dollars?”
“Um. Yeah. David bought it for me.”
“What?” Alana picked up the tag and flipped it over, searching for a sale price, I guess.
“He wanted me to feel special. I tried to stop him, but he did it anyway.” And without that cheeky grin distracting me, I found it so much easier to be mad at him.
Emily sat rigidly down on my bed and folded her hands into her lap. “I can’t believe it, Ara. I never thought I’d see the day when David Knight fell in love.”
“Did you not think he was capable?” I asked.
“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t. I was sure that, ten years from now when we met for our high school reunion, he’d be America’s most eligible bachelor.”
She had no idea how right she was. Ten years from now, I might be so much older than him, and our high-school-sweetheart-romance could be a memory I only thought about when I was alone.
“He might still be,” I added with a light giggle. “Just because we’re in love now, doesn’t mean we’re gonna get married or anything.” Only, I knew we would—if things were different. We loved each other enough to commit to a lifetime together, but I just couldn’t commit to eternity, and David couldn’t commit to a life.
“Are you serious?” Emily stood up. “He spends a thousand dollars on a dress, because he wants you to feel special, and you’re not sure if you’re going to marry him?”
“It’s a dress, Em. Not an engagement ring.” I sighed, feeling utterly defeated. I wanted to tell her the truth. I knew she’d understand—be able to give me advice and take some of the burden of life and death decisions off my shoulders—but I was forbidden to speak of it. Although… if it just slipped out; if I just said it, right here, right now, maybe David wouldn’t be that mad with me; maybe he’d understand that I needed someone to talk to. And if Emily helped steer my decision toward becoming immortal, then David would only be grateful, right?
I opened my mouth and, as Alana sat down in my desk chair, the squeaky hinge woke me to the reality of what I was just about to do. I snapped my stupid gob shut.
Emily squinted, studying my face. “There’s more to it, isn’t there?”
“More to what?” I shrugged casually and started untying my dress.
“Is it… are you still in love with Mike?”
“What? I never said I was in love with him.”
“Then, I don’t understand!”
Of course she couldn’t. How could anyone? David was perfect. Why would I not want to marry him?
“What’s to understand, Em? David and I… we’re in love, but we want different things in life.” I grabbed a shirt off the end of my bed. “Eventually, we’ll have to go our separate ways. We both know that.”
“Who are you trying to convince, Ara? Us, or yourself?” Emily asked.
I held my dress in front of my chest, pulled the shirt over my head and, once covered, stepped out of the dress and threw it on the bed. “What does it matter? It’s not like you’re losing him, Emily.”
She shook her head. “It matters because I care about him. We’ve been friends for years, Ara, and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s happy. And it was like he knew you were coming; like he predicted it, or something, because about a month before we even met you, he changed—became the David everyone else can tolerate.”
Which was about the time I arrived at Dad’s. “So?”
“So, he smiles. He laughs,” Emily continued. “And the only time that hasn’t been true, since the moment he finally asked you out, was the day of Nathan’s funeral. What’s going to happen to him if you don’t love him like he loves you?”
Her ignorance just made me insanely mad. “Who says I don’t?”
“You just said you had no plans to marry him. Ara,”—she pointed to my door—“that boy is practically picking out goddamn rings. You have no idea how lucky you are.”
“I do, actually.” I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides as I sat on the bed, wishing I could fall against her shoulder and cry hysterically. “I hate that we can’t be together. More than you know. But it isn’t my decision to make. Not really. There are outside factors involved.”
“Why should it matter? When you love someone, you give up everything for that,” she said.
I kind of laughed. I didn’t know Emily went so deep.
Everything she said was true, though, and it hurt. I just wasn’t brave enough to risk everything for love. And my mother would be disappointed in me if I traded my soul for immortal life. So I just wanted to forget about decision-making and enjoy the time I had with David and maybe, somewhere in time passing, the answer would just come to me.
“That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard, Emily.”
She opened her mouth and drew a long breath. “You’re just too blind to see the logic.”
“Or maybe too sensible.”
“Guys!” Alana ditched a pillow between us. “Stop fighting.”
Emily sat on my bed, shaking her head. “Sensible people die alone, Ara—like my gran and my Aunt Betty. My dad says if you don’t fight for love, you have nothing to fight for.”
Despite numerous arguments I could squash that statement with, I decided to sever the conversation instead. “I’ll keep that in mind. Shall we watch that movie now?”
* * *
The quiet hum of restful breathing filled my room under the howling of the wind outside. I lay awake, sending waves of anger to the mattress on the floor—cursing Emily’s film choice—wishing I could put my bedside light on to illuminate the scary corners of my room. I should’ve told Emily I hate scary movies.
My phone lit the roof green for a second then. I flipped over and reached across the gap between my bed and nightstand cautiously, in case the Bogeyman reached up to grab my hand, then tucked my arms back in quickly with my phone in hand. The message on the screen read: Call me if you need me.
I smiled and texted back: Thanks, David.
But it wasn’t him I wanted to speak to. Recalling the last night I had with Mike again had reopened old wounds, old feelings, and I needed to poke them to see what they meant. Maybe they could help me finally make a decision about whether or not I’d go with David.
Emily stirred when the keypad bleeped as I pinned in a familiar number, settling again when I put the phone to my ear. All I wanted was to hear the familiarity of Mike’s voice. And with the mere buzzing of the ringtone down the line, the eerie feeling of isolation slipped away a little.
Pick up. Come on, Mike. Please, pick up.
“Hey, beautiful. What’s up?” he asked, bringing me home with the sound of his voice.
“Hey, Mike,” I whispered.
“What happened?” he asked quickly. “Are you okay?”
“Sleepover,” I said. “Watched a horror movie.”
“Oh, baby girl. Why do you do it?”
“I know. It was stupid.”
“What movie was it?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m never sleeping again.”
“You will—you always do eventually.”
“Not for a few weeks, though.”
Mike
laughed. “It’ll be all right. I’ll be there in a few days, then I’ll sleep by your wardrobe and keep the monsters from coming out to get you.”
I chuckled. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Ha, yeah. How old were you the last time I did that?”
“Um, thirteen, I think.”
“Well, I’m sending a hug through the phone for ya, ’kay?”
“Okay,” I whispered, actually feeling a little better with that thought.
“Hey, so I was thinking about you before you called. You must’ve read my mind.”
“What were you thinking about this time—me in a blender or something?”
“Ara, I don’t only reflect on memories of you in pain.”
“Seems like you do.”
“It was one memory. Once.”
“Two.”
“No. It was only the ice-cream truck one.”
“And the other one.”
“Which one?”
I couldn’t think of one, realizing then that I was wrong. “So now you expect me to document every conversation we have?”
“Ara, what is wrong with you tonight?”
“What do you mean what’s wrong with me?”
“You’re doing your thing.”
“My thing?”
“Yeah, when you twist my words around until we get in a fight. Don’t do that. I’m not trying to fight with you, baby. I was just… I wanted to call you. I was thinking about you, then you called. It surprised me, that’s all.”
“You should be used to it.”
He paused. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been that in tune with each other, Ar.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He paused again.
“Mike?”
Emily rolled over and stirred with the disruption of my voice through the perfect silence.
“I’m still here, Ara. I just… I need a few seconds, okay?”
“Okay. I’m just moving into the spare room.” I walked into the hall, my toes balancing over the quiet spots in the floorboards that I’d memorized, and closed the door behind me.
“Is that the room I’ll be staying in?”
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 39