by Kit Morgan
“Is that normal?”
“It is for Harriet. Sometimes she comes right to ya, other times she runs.” He bent to her, and kissed her on the cheek. “Just like a woman.”
Constance rolled her eyes. “Not all women run.”
“You gonna run?”
She studied him a moment. “Why would I?”
He pulled her up to a sitting position and stared at her. She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Because she was his …
“Ryder?” she whispered.
“Ya know what?” he whispered back.
“What?”
“I think we’re gonna do okay,” he said and took her hands in his. “In fact, I think we’ll be more than okay.” He looked into her eyes and bit his lip. “In the mornin’ I’m gonna start buildin’ ya a proper house, one befittin’ a lady like yourself …”
“Ryder, you’ve worked so hard to build what you have, you don’t have to rush to …”
He silenced her with a kiss. “Don’t interrupt your husband when he’s talkin’,” he said against her lips. She nodded in silence, and pressed her lips to his. Her action surprised him, and he wrapped his arms around her. The kiss was deeper than before, going further than he intended. Soon it was all consuming, and he could feel her tremble in his arms from the force of it. He gently pushed them apart and looked into her eyes. “Ahhh Sugar, you’re sweeter than honey, and unless you wanna find yourself in a family way, we’d best stop …”
He never got to finish. She pulled his face down to hers, and kissed him again. His eyes went wide at the action, and he smiled through the kiss they shared, his heart in his throat. If she kept this up, he’d never be able to stop. But he had to know he could give her the house she deserved, that he could have it ready for winter, and then he’d make love to her every night!
He pushed her away again, breaking the kiss. “Whoa there, darlin’. Ain’t you the spunky one?”
She blushed, he could see her cheeks reddening in the lantern light. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me!”
“Don’t be sorry, I liked it!”
She eyed him as if she was going to kiss him again. “Then why did you stop it?”
“I … well … I think we should wait a little bit, that’s all.”
She gave him an inquisitive look and cocked her head to one side. “Wait?”
He shifted his position so he was no longer facing her. “Yeah, you know … get to know each other a little better?”
She slumped forward as she puzzled over his words. He could see by the look on her face she was confused. “I thought you’d want … I mean … I’m not coughing tonight and I was sure you’d …”
His eyes darted to her mouth. “Don’t think I don’t want to, but I need to make sure of some things before we start in with that.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain later.” He stood, went to the front door and grabbed his boots.
“What are you doing?” she asked perplexed.
He turned to her. “Sugar, I hate to do this to ya, but if’n I stay, you’re not gonna be wearin’ that dress much longer.”
“Are you … doing this for me?”
“No, I … I guess I’m doin’ this for me.” And with that, he left.
* * *
Constance sat in stunned silence. She’d kissed him. Kissed him! And he left her. She’d fallen asleep and dreamed he came to her rescue like a knight in shining armor. She had no idea what he was rescuing her from, but he’d ridden up on Othello, swept her up in front of him, and galloped away with her. She’d kissed him in the dream, and was still swooning with romance when she woke up to see him standing by the door looking as if he was deep in thought. He was so handsome she could die, and her stomach did little flips when he came and sat on the cot next to her. And when he kissed her … that was all it took. She had to have more. But now he was gone.
Constance fell back against the pillow and sighed. Why would he not want to consummate their marriage? She didn’t understand. Was he afraid she wasn’t up to it? That she still didn’t feel well? But no, he even commented on the wagon ride home that her coughing had cleared up, so that couldn’t be it. But then, what was it?
She sat up. “Crumbs! This can’t be right.” She had half a mind to go out to the barn and drag him back to bed, but thought better of it. He had his reasons, whatever they were, and she supposed she could wait another day. Besides, if Sadie made it out tomorrow with Harrison it would give her a chance to ask her about it. She’d been married a few years and could maybe give her a few pointers as to why men do the things they do.
She stared at the lantern as she blew a lock of hair out of her face. No sense worrying about it tonight. Besides, she didn’t know about such things. Why worry until you knew if fact, you had a reason to? What she should be worried about on the other hand, was breakfast. “Flapjacks …” she whispered into the night. “How in Heaven’s name do you make a flap jack?” She shuddered at the thought and hoped she wouldn’t have nightmares about giant sacks of flour chasing her across the prairie, demanding to be made into monstrous flapjacks! She got up, turned the lantern down, (but not out) got back into bed, and once again, drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Constance awoke before sun up and was surprised there was still no sign of Ryder. She thought sure he’d come into the cabin and wake her so they could start their day together. But no, Ryder was still out in the barn. She wondered if he was awake yet, then pushed the thought aside. “Of course he’s awake, he’s used to getting up early,” she huffed. She didn’t know why it upset her that he wasn’t there, but it did.
She got up and dressed, then set about building a fire in the stove. She’d watched Belle and Sadie do it, and was certain she could handle it (she hoped) then make some coffee.
She managed to get the stove going without burning herself or setting the cabin on fire, and was surprised how quickly it heated up. She made the coffee, again with out incident, and was just about to settle on making eggs again for breakfast, when Ryder came through the door. “Mornin’ Sugar!”
She spun to face him. She was angry, but knew it wasn’t right to be so, or was it? “Where have you been?” she snapped. She bit her lip at the sound of her own voice.
“Just doin’ the mornin’ chores is all. What you been doin’?”
She held up the coffee pot.
“Don’t mind if I do,” he said and snatched up a cup she’d already placed on the table. “Harrison should be here any time now.”
“What? This early?”
“Of course, he’s got things to do. You and Sadie can visit while we get the horses taken care of. He’ll leave his mare here a few days, come get her and bring another one.”
“Oh …” was all she managed. She’d envisioned having a lovely afternoon tea with Sadie while the men saw to their business. So much for that idea.
“I know what you’re thinkin’.”
She looked at him. “I dare say, how can you presume to know what I’m thinking?”
“Cause in the short time we’ve been married, I’ve learned a few things about ya.”
“Like what?” she snapped. She cringed again at the way she sounded, but she just couldn’t help herself.
“Like the way your eyes look at the floor when you’re disappointed, and the way you chew your lip when you’re not sure about somethin’.” He was right of course, and it irritated her that he would be. How did he know her little habits already and she didn’t know his? “All ya gotta do is watch,” he whispered as he took the coffee pot from her hand and poured himself a cup.
She stared at him as he set the coffee pot back on the stove, then tossed the dishtowel she used to handle it onto the table. Again he was right, not to mention very observant. What had she done in their short time together other than worry about making a mistake in her cooking, or cleaning, or any number of other things? She took a deep breath. “I suppose I lack your kee
n eyes.”
He set his cup down and took her in his arms. “Nah, ya just aren’t used to usin’ yours. Now what say I teach ya how to make them flapjacks? I said I would.”
She smiled, yet still didn’t understand why he’d been gone from her all night, his actions bringing to the fore one nagging question. “Are you sorry you married me?”
He stood straight and stared at her. “You’re jokin’, right?”
She squared her shoulders. “Why else would you sleep in the barn?”
His mouth dropped open in surprise, before he burst out laughing. “You thought I slept in the barn because I didn’t wanna be married to ya? Well now ain’t that a knee slapper?”
For emphasis, he slapped his knee. She raised her brow at that, and moved on. “Well?”
“Well what you silly woman? If’n I didn’t want to marry ya, then ya wouldn’t be here!”
“But … you … left.”
“So I wouldn’t make love to ya!”
“But I wanted you to make love to me!”
“But I can’t!”
“Why not?”
“Oh for the love of Pete!” Cutty’s voice cried from the doorway. “Just kiss her or something, I’m hungry!” Both stared at the bedraggled man as he shuffled into the cabin, went straight to the table, and sat down. “Well, when’s breakfast?”
“Ohhhh!” Constance moaned in exasperation as Cutty reached for the second cup on the table. She turned to the stove and closed her eyes. Having a houseguest underfoot just after getting married wasn’t helping. Then it hit her. She felt cheated, cheated out of all the things she thought her wedding and subsequent days after should be. Unfortunately, a lot of it was her fault …
“Constance …” she heard Ryder say.
She turned to him. It was the first time he’d called her by name since the wedding. “What is it?” she asked softly.
“I didn’t come to you last night …” He looked over his shoulder at Cutty who was pouring himself some coffee. “… On account I wanted to make sure I can build ya a nice house and have it ready for our youngin’s.”
Her mouth dropped. “What did you say?”
“Youngins. I want em, don’t you?”
“Yes, but I hadn’t thought about … I mean …”
“Darlin’ if there’s one thing I know about, it’s breedin’, and sometimes a mare can take real quick like. I don’t mean to compare ya to a horse, but so can a lady like yourself. I don’t want ya to have to try to take care of our baby in a one room shack.”
“Cabin,” she corrected.
“Cabin, then. I know it’s good enough for me, but I want better for you.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “You’d do all that for me?”
He took her in his arms. “Of course I would. I was hurryin’ to get this place built so I could concentrate on the horse business. I guess I was so focused on that, I forgot about the marryin’ business.”
“I’m so sorry, I thought you …”
“Didn’t want ya no more?”
She nodded, as the tears broke free.
He held her against his chest and let her cry. “Ahhhh, Sugar, I’ve wanted ya all my life.”
“How could you?” she mumbled into his chest. “You just met me a week ago.”
He chuckled. “Maybe so, but you’re exactly what I’ve been waitin’ for.”
“And I’m still waiting for breakfast!”
Ryder and Constance both laughed and took in the disgruntled look on Cutty’s face. “Let’s make this poor man some flapjacks before he up and busts a gut!” said Ryder “Harrison’s gonna be here any time now.”
Constance wiped her eyes, smiled at her husband, and reached for the frying pan.
Nine
The flapjack lesson went better than expected, and Constance was feeling quite proud of her achievement when Harrison and Sadie arrived. She even surprised herself by running out of the house to greet them. Though it had only been two days since she’d seen Sadie, it felt like months. The thought of being isolated for days, even weeks on end, still unnerved her.
“Hello!” She happily called up to Sadie as Harrison brought the wagon to a stop.
He had not one, but two mares tied to the back of it, which sent Ryder’s face into a huge grin. “Well ain’t this a surprise?” he said. “I didn’t know you had a bay mare.”
“I don’t.” Harrison told him as he climbed down. “This is Mr. Turner’s new mare. He heard I was coming out here today and asked if I’d bring her. I told him I didn’t think you’d mind, and he sent along the stud fee.”
Ryder walked to the back to inspect the horses as Harrison reached up and took Honoria from Sadie. He turned and handed her to Constance who took the baby with delight. “Hellooooo” she cooed. Honoria took one look at her and passed wind. “Oh, well if you’re going to be that way about it, I shan’t hold you any longer.”
“Oh, you might as well get used to it,” Sadie told her as her feet touched the ground. “They all do that.” She watched as Harrison went to join Ryder, then leaned toward Constance and spoke in a low voice. “In fact, I think we’re going to have another addition to the family soon.”
Constance raised her brow at the disclosure. “Who?”
“Belle!” Sadie whispered in delight. “But for Heaven’s sake! Don’t say anything to the men! Especially Harrison!”
“But he’s not the father. Colin …”
“I know, but Harrison gets all out of sorts when it comes to babies. He was horrible with me! I can’t imagine but he’ll drive Colin crazy with horror stories and how to do this, and how to do that. Belle is waiting to make sure before she tells Colin.”
“How wonderful!” Constance said as Honoria let go a belch to rival any man’s. “Oh, perhaps you’d like her back?”
Sadie shook her head. “Like I said, you might as well get used to it.”
“I could better get used to the idea of motherhood if the process would only start.”
Sadie gave her a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
Constance pressed her lips together and shook her head.
“You mean the two of you haven’t … are you serious? What’s going on? I know it’s only been a couple of days but …”
“He’s worried I’ll be with child right away, and doesn’t want to have a baby in …” she indicated the cabin with a toss of her head. “… that.”
“OH!” Sadie exclaimed. Her mouth dropped open and she put a hand to her stomach as if suddenly sick.
“Wait until you see the inside,” Constance commented dryly.
“Oh, Constance!” Sadie breathed. “If I had known he was so ill prepared, I never would have allowed …”
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine, and his I suppose. We both wanted to get married and didn’t think enough about the details of living.”
“No, this is not your fault. It’s mine, and Ryder’s. I’m terribly sorry for this. No wonder he … well never mind. Let’s go inside.”
Constance sighed, adjusted Honoria on her hip, and led Sadie into her humble abode, complete with a finger-licking Cutty who was finishing up his flapjacks.
“Oh my goodness!” Sadie said as she saw him. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here. Hello.”
He turned but an inch or two in her direction, grunted a greeting, then bent his head to the table.
“Cutty, this is Sadie Cooke, Harrison’s wife,” Constance announced. “She came to pay me a visit, isn’t that nice?”
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled. He reached for his hat and pulled it onto his head, almost as if he didn’t want Sadie to see him. Why be embarrassed about his appearance now? He didn’t when he was around herself or Ryder. Not even when he was in town. Maybe, Constance thought, she was rubbing off on him.
Cutty got up from the table and hurried past them. He looked at Constance who stood just behind Sadie. “I’m gonna go help Ryder,” he said, his voice gruff.
“Fine,” she remar
ked as she stared after him. He shut the door and was gone. “My, but he’s grumpy all of a sudden. I wonder what could be wrong?”
“He’s an odd one. I heard August telling Harrison about him last week. He’s put-offish anyway isn’t he?”
“Actually, he’s been friendly, though I’ll have to agree he is a little odd.”
Sadie nodded her agreement as she glanced around the room. “Oh my …”
“Indeed,” Constance sighed. “But Ryder told me just this morning he plans to build me a proper house. I believe when it’s done, he’ll feel more comfortable about starting a family.”
There was a sadness in her voice, and Sadie caught it. “I know it sounds bad, your husband waiting to build a house before you have children, but he’s trying to be practical. He wants to provide for you and your children properly, and you can’t fault him for that.”
“I know, it’s just that it makes me feel a though I’m not capable of taking care of a child in what’s afforded us now. A part of me feels like he doesn’t trust me.”
“I think he’s just afraid, that’s all. Men are like that when it comes to taking care of their families. They want the best for them, and if it means waiting a little longer to make sure that happens, then they’re willing to do it.”
“I’m being silly then.”
Sadie laughed. “No, you’re being a woman who married a man she’s only just met. Every mail order bride probably feels the uncertainty you’re feeling right now. I’m sure Penelope felt the same way to some extent. As you and your sisters are from England, all the more so.”
Constance held Honoria close and kissed the top of her head. “I do so want children, but if Ryder wants to wait until he’s sure he can afford to build us another house, then I guess I can wait too.”
Sadie smiled in answer, then put her hands on her hips and studied the room. “I can sew you some curtains if you like.”
“I would love it.”
“And a table cloth would be in order as well …” she began to walk around and look at everything. “Lace doilies, a proper clothesline outside, a new quilt for …” she stopped and stared at the cot. “… better make that a new bed.”