by Jill Kemerer
“How are you doing?” he asked. “How are the munchkins?”
“They’re good. Raleigh took charge. He’s pretty great with them...” Thick silence hung. “I went to the doctor. I didn’t want to admit the awful thoughts going on in my head, but after I kicked you and Ainsley out, I realized I needed help.”
“I’m glad, Belle.” Hope lifted his heart.
“I’m ashamed to admit this, but every time I got near one of the babies, I thought I would hurt them. I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. The doctor is treating me and recommended Raleigh and I go to counseling, and we are. It’s just going to take some time.”
“I’m glad you got help. You never would have hurt the babies, though.” Normally, this would be the part of the conversation where he dropped everything and drove back to her house to make sure she was okay. But he didn’t have the urge this time. Maybe it was the prayers or maybe he’d grown tired of feeling responsible for her. Either way, he wanted to move forward with his life. “I’m not coming back.”
“I know.” Her voice sounded small. “I don’t expect you to. We’re hiring an older widow to help with the babies in the afternoons. And, honestly, I miss you, but it’s time you get back to your own life.”
“I am.”
“Have you talked to Ainsley?” A baby cried in the background.
“No.”
“You should. I hope I didn’t ruin whatever you two had.”
He sighed. “You didn’t ruin it, I did.”
“Maybe you can fix it. I know you love her.”
He smiled. He’d missed this side of her, the one who cared about him, the one who knew him better than anyone.
She continued. “I’ll call her and apologize if you’ll give me her number. I feel terrible about the way I treated her.”
“I’m sure she’d appreciate it, but would you let me talk to her first?” He didn’t want his sister meddling. This was his relationship—it was his job to deal with it.
“Okay, but I am going to apologize to her.”
“I know. I’ll give you her number after Christmas, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you for everything—for moving here, helping us with the babies—I don’t know what we would have done without you. You’re always welcome here.”
“I love you, Belle.”
“Love you, too. Now make things right with Ainsley.”
He hung up, tapping his fingers on his phone. He intended to do just that.
Chapter Sixteen
Another Christmas Eve. Another holiday on her own.
Ainsley looked around the apartment and couldn’t think of a thing she wanted to do. Tara was working until six tonight, and they planned on attending church together afterward. Until then, Ainsley had hours to fill. Yesterday, she’d called the ranchers about trying to contact her father. One of them had heard her dad was working on a sheep ranch near the Montana border. She could see him tending sheep. The rancher promised to call back as soon as he could confirm her dad’s whereabouts.
Marshall hadn’t called or texted either. Not that she expected him to. But every time she checked her cell, her heart would twinge, and she’d hope to see his name.
I’ll get over him. Someday.
Maybe she should get a coffee. Get out of here for a while.
She went to the hall closet and found her coat. She hadn’t put any makeup on and didn’t care. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She wound her scarf around her neck, grabbed her purse and headed to the door.
She opened it and gasped. Her purse fell out of her hands.
Marshall stood before her.
He brought a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back. “I didn’t know your favorite, so I guessed.”
She accepted the bouquet and buried her nose in the white roses. “They’re beautiful.”
He shifted from one foot to the other, gesturing to her purse. “Are you leaving? I’m not holding you up, am I?”
“I was going to the coffee shop. But it can wait.”
“Are you sure?”
Her heart was beating too fast. She wouldn’t jump to conclusions. Just because he was here didn’t mean he’d changed his mind about staying at the ranch to help Belle or anything.
“Come in.” She waved him inside, shutting the door behind him after he entered.
He took off his cowboy hat and held it in front of him with both hands.
“Have a seat.” She set the flowers on the counter, then curled up on one of the chairs. He set his hat on the end table and perched on the edge of the couch.
“You were right.” He looked down at his feet. “About everything. All this time I’ve been thinking I’m helping Belle, but all I’ve done is weaken her marriage. I’m ashamed to say I never gave her enough credit. I always assumed she’d fall apart if I wasn’t around.”
His words went down like sweet syrup. She couldn’t believe he’d finally been able to see the truth about his relationship with Belle.
“After you left, it was like all the dirt and cobwebs were brushed away, and I could clearly see I needed to change. You were the catalyst, Ainsley.”
She didn’t want to get her hopes up. “Is that good or bad? I didn’t mean to upend your entire life.”
“You didn’t. God did. And I’m so thankful He did. You were the biggest reason, though. I’ve had a lot of time to think. Last week, I let you leave without being honest with you. I let you walk out of my life, and it had nothing to do with Belle.”
“What do you mean?” She braced herself. Was this the point of the conversation where he told her how glad he was they were friends and hoped she would have a nice life? Or could he possibly...love her?
“I think I’ve been emotionally trapped as a thirteen-year-old for years. When my mother had me sent away, I was terrified for Belle, but there was more to it.”
She held her breath.
“My mother’s rejection of me colored most of my actions my entire adult life.”
Ainsley gasped, shocked she hadn’t seen it on her own. “Oh, Marshall, I never realized how devastating that must have been for you.”
He nodded. “I’d grown up wanting to believe the good guys always won and a mother’s love was unconditional.”
“I did, too,” she said sadly.
“And I blamed myself for not being good enough, for not convincing her to dump Ed. But the other day, I finally saw her for what she was—a selfish, lonely, weak woman. And I looked in the mirror and saw the same in myself.”
Ainsley crossed over to Marshall. She sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. “Don’t say that. You’re not selfish or weak.”
“Don’t kid yourself. I’m both, and until you arrived on the ranch, I had no idea how lonely I’d been.” He shifted to face her. “But I want to change. I’m going to change. I have no illusions—I know I blew it with you—but I called Mr. Beatty and took the job. I told Raleigh he and Belle could work their issues out on their own. Belle actually called and apologized. She’s finally getting help—you were right about everything. And I’m praying for God to help me work through my own childhood issues.”
“I’m so glad,” she said. “It wasn’t until I began attending the Al-Anon meetings that I began healing. I’d felt so responsible and alone, and they gave me the tools to break free of my need to fix my dad.”
Marshall traced his finger down her cheek. “There’s more.”
She shivered. Was this where he let her down? She fought the urge to turn away, to try to build a wall around her heart, but it was too late.
“I love you, Ainsley Draper. I love you, and I’m moving to Laramie, and I want to be your boyfriend and date you and explore this thing between us without all the pressure of the quadruplets and my sister.”
“You want to...date me?” She blinked. He loved he
r? Did he really love her?
Could she handle his love? What if he reverted to his old ways? What if this was just the Christmas spirit talking?
“Among other things.” He looked scared. “More than date you. I don’t want to scare you off, but in my wildest dreams, we’ll be married by next Christmas. In the meantime, I’ll be the happiest man alive if you’ll forgive me and let me see you again. I know I have a lot of trust to build with you, and I’ll do it minute by minute, day by day until you have not the slightest doubt in your mind you are number one in my life.”
She’d been waiting to hear those words her entire life. And this man—this good, honorable, incredible man—had finally said them. She had no reason to doubt anymore. Love was here. All she had to do was claim it.
“You are number one to me, Ainsley. You’ll always be.”
* * *
How could he get her to see she could trust this—could trust him? Marshall scanned her eyes for her reaction. Had he convinced her? Did she believe him?
“I want you to know I prayed about us,” he said. “Watching you walk away—seeing all those gingerbread ornaments we made scattered to the wind behind your cabin—broke me. I wandered my friend Wade’s ranch for a few days, and I finally got to my knees and surrendered my plans to the Lord. I know you can’t possibly trust that I truly have been freed of the chains that bound me to be there for my sister, and I don’t expect you to. But I will say this. It wasn’t my doing. It was God’s. His mercy and love set me free.”
Ainsley threw her arms around his neck. “Oh, Marshall! I’ve been praying for you. I love you so much, and I want you to have the best life possible. This makes me so happy! We have such a good God.”
“We do,” he said huskily. “Does this mean you forgive me?”
She nodded, her eyes shining. “I forgive you.”
Hope blossomed in his chest.
“Does this mean you’re willing to date me?”
“I love you, Marshall. Love doesn’t disappear in a day. I want to date you. I want to be your girlfriend. And, God willing, my wildest dreams will come true, too, and we will be married by next Christmas. You’re the only one for me.”
He crushed her to him, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and nestling his cheek into her soft hair. Lord, thank You. Thank You! I never deserved this woman, and You blessed me with her anyway.
“I love you, Ainsley.” Leaning back, he searched her eyes. “You make order out of chaos—for the quadruplets, for Belle. And my heart—it was a disaster, but you organized it. Cleaned it out. And it’s ready for you. I’m ready to give you my best.”
“You helped me, too. Because you were unwilling to give up on your sister, you inspired me to reach out to my dad. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t go back to my old relationship with him. But I want to be in his life—even if it’s simply a letter here or there.”
“Would a letter be enough for you?” He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.
She tilted her head, a hopeful smile on her lips. “For now. Maybe. I would like to hug him and tell him I love him. I want him to know I love him.”
“I’ll help you find him. I’ll help any way I can.”
“That’s what I love about you, Marshall. Your heart. It’s so big. So generous. You do what you say you’re going to do, no matter how much it costs you. I’ve been looking for a man like that my whole life. My dad let me down every day. Every single day. And he said a lot of nice words, but he never followed through with them. You’re not like that. You’re nothing like that. And I love you.”
He clung to each word, memorizing them, astounded at the healing they poured over his heart. Then he cupped her cheeks and lowered his lips to hers. The kiss sealed his future. This woman was his, and nothing could change that. He drank in her sweetness, clung to her love.
He ended the kiss, and a surge of energy infused him. He wanted to leap up and swing her in the air and run shouting through the streets.
“You’re really moving here?” Ainsley asked. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes sparkled in wonder.
“Found an apartment yesterday.”
“Where is it?”
He stood, taking her hand and leading her to the front window. He pointed to the left. “See that building? I’m two floors up. Three doors down. You can see my window from here. By the way, Dottie gave me your address.”
She gasped. “You’re right next door?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“This is really happening. You’re moving here.” She clapped her hand over her mouth and turned to him with wide, joy-filled eyes.
“I am. And I have something for you.” He took out a wrapped rectangular box. “Here. Open it.”
She blinked up at him, then tore off the paper. She lifted the lid off the red box and gasped. “Marshall...” With trembling fingers, she clasped the necklace. An aquamarine heart surrounded by small diamonds dangled from the silver chain. “It’s even prettier than the one Dad gave me all those years ago.” Tears dropped to her cheeks. “How did you know?”
“I want this to be your best Christmas ever. Nothing bad. No flip-flop best and worst. Just the best.” He put his arms around her waist.
“You’ve succeeded!” She threw her hands behind his neck and kissed him. He held her close, reveling in the fact she was his. This woman... He broke free of the kiss and stared into her eyes.
“You have a heart of gold, you know it, Ainsley?”
She shook her head. “No, but I like hearing you say it.”
“I’ll say it every day, then.”
“Every single day?”
“For you? Every day wouldn’t be enough. Every hour. Every minute...” He kissed her again.
She laughed. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“By the way, Belle is insisting she call you to apologize. You’ll be getting a call from her soon.”
“I like your sister when she isn’t rude to me.”
“I do, too.” He squeezed her hand. “Now what?”
“Well, we have the entire day free. I say we get out there and enjoy it.”
“Coffee first?”
“Coffee first. Come on! Let’s get started!”
Epilogue
“Belle, would you get the door?” Marshall hollered to his sister in her satin baby blue dress as she exited the church.
“Of course, Marsh.” She turned, grinning, as she held the church door open wide.
He swept Ainsley into his arms and carried her down to the carriage waiting for them. Everyone blew bubbles as he jostled Ainsley down the sidewalk. It was a beautiful, sunny June day. It was hard to believe he’d known Ainsley for less than a year and now they were married.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look?” He set her on the seat of the carriage and helped her arrange the train of her wedding gown.
“About fifteen times, but keep saying it. It doesn’t get old.” She smiled brightly at him.
He kissed the back of her hand and pressed it against his heart. “This heart of mine is yours, you know. Forever.”
“Oh, Marshall...” She let out a swoony sigh, and he tapped Jerry Cornell, Clint and Lexi’s right-hand man at Rock Step Ranch, who’d insisted on driving the carriage to the Department Store, where they were holding their reception.
“You kids ready for the party?” Jerry asked, picking up the reins.
“We are.”
“Well, let’s giddyap.” Jerry made a clicking sound to the team of Belgians pulling the carriage. “Your nuptials reminded me of the time I camped out near Yellowstone. Choked me up, I tell you. You two are like the bison...”
“Did he say we’re like bison?” Ainsley whispered to Marshall.
“I believe he did.” He tucked his lips under to avoid laughing. “I’m so glad you’re mine.”
&
nbsp; She snuggled into his arms. The fresh air and blue skies seemed to have been ordered just for them. “Can you believe how much has changed in six short months?”
“No, I can’t. Not that I had any doubt you’d get into nursing school. Two months and you’ll be knee-deep in homework.”
“Well, the Beatty brothers are keeping you busy.” She looked up at him. “I love seeing you so happy.”
“You make me happy.” He pulled her closer.
“Before Christmas, I never would have thought I’d get married, let alone be blessed to have my dad walk me down the aisle. And yet, he came!”
He squeezed her shoulder. “And I had my doubts about Belle ever being motherly to the quadruplets.”
After Christmas, Belle had called Ainsley and tearfully apologized. Raleigh and Belle had committed to weekly counseling sessions, and with the doctor’s help, Belle had made a complete turnaround. Now she doted on the children, and Raleigh did, too. Ainsley and Marshall drove to Dushane Ranch whenever possible to see the babies.
“I know. I can’t wait to hold them again. Their little tuxes and dresses are the sweetest things I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.” He kissed her temple. The carriage turned onto Main Street and stopped in front of the Department Store. “Here we are.”
Lexi and Amy crowded around them as they stepped down from the carriage. Clint and Nash held back. Tara and her boyfriend waved from the door. The only one who hadn’t made it to the wedding was Wade. He had an emergency—and Marshall completely understood. Wade’s closest childhood friend, a woman named Kit, was in trouble. He didn’t blame Wade for missing the wedding.
They all went inside. Nash clapped him on the back. “Clint and I have been talking, and we think when Ainsley finishes nursing school, y’all should move back to Sweet Dreams. You can start your own repair shop here. What do you think?”
“I think it’s your best idea yet.” Ainsley stepped next to Marshall.
“You heard the lady.” Marshall winked at them.
“Excuse me.” A tap on Marshall’s shoulder made him turn. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of my little girl.”