Something More

by Mia Castile

  “Ethan, I never wanted to hurt you. I do like you, a lot.” She stood with him, and he hugged her.

  “Just not enough, so let me put you out of your misery. I’ll give you the space you need. I’m moving out of the apartment tomorrow. Jamison doesn’t know yet, but I’m crashing at Jacob’s.” She nodded in his chest as a few more tears escaped her eyes. He gave her a squeeze and let her go. He left, and she fell into her couch. She didn’t know what to do now, so she pulled down the throw blanket draped over the back of the couch and fell asleep.

  Chapter 19

  When Nyla woke, it was dark. Her bay window was still open, and she looked at the dark night sky. She suddenly wanted to give Ethan back his things that she had collected over the past few months. She found a large shoe box and began filling it. She showered and cleaned herself up, layering her clothes and making sure she was presentable. She bundled up and walked to his apartment, at least his apartment until tomorrow. She knocked on the door; Jamison answered it. He looked very comfortable in his sweats and layered T-shirts. He didn’t say anything to her, but apparently he knew what had happened. She took the box to Ethan’s room and sat it on his bed. Closure. That was a beginning and definitely what she needed. She didn’t want to have bad feelings between her and Ethan.

  “Do you need a ride home?” She heard Jamison’s voice behind her; she shook her head no, not turning around to face him. “Do you want something to drink, warm you up before you have to get back out there?” Jamison stood in the doorway. She nodded yes.

  She sat on the couch waiting as Jamison brought over two hot chocolates, handing her one, and sat on the arm rest of the couch. He began flipping through the TV channels.

  “I think this is good. I just need some time alone and to figure out what I want,” she babbled. She didn’t know what to say to him. Their last real conversation had left her confused. She felt like everything she touched fell apart.

  “Though thou loved her as thyself,

  As a self of purer clay,

  Though her parting dims the day,

  Stealing grace from all alive;

  Heartily know,

  When half-gods go,

  The God’s arrive.”

  He recited just before he took a sip of his hot chocolate, still staring at the T.V.

  “What?” Her eyes were glued to him.

  “‘Give All to Love,’ the poem you recited in high school. That was it, right? The one I ruined for you.” He glanced at her, his face solemn. She sat down her hot chocolate on the coffee table.

  “How do you remember that?” she asked, still astonished. He shrugged.

  “I guess I remember everything about you. Just for a different reason now, the real reason.” She didn’t know what came over her. She was up and in front of him before she even thought about it. She surprised him; she surprised herself, but she didn’t think about it. He looked into her eyes as he sat down his mug and began to say something. She leaned in, softly pressing her lips to his soft, perfect lips. She had fought it long enough. She gave herself over to the emotions that she had tried to hold at bay all these months. He pressed her against him and basked in the kiss that he had longed for, his hands finding her bare stomach easily under her layers of clothes as she began to peel them away for him. Before she could object, he lifted her up and carried her, straddling him to his bedroom. This time she wouldn’t object. He gently laid her down in the middle of his bed and took off his own layered shirts in one movement. She was finally his, and he was hers.

  The next morning she lay beside him naked except for his arm that draped across her smooth, bare stomach. He nestled his face in her hair, smelling its sweetness. They had only slept a few hours after the sun finally rose. His skin goose bumped thinking about how she felt against him. He could still hear her moans of encouragement and satisfaction. He kissed her neck, and she purred again, turning and snuggling up to him.

  “Nyla,” he breathed, hoping not to wake her but also hoping that she would open her eyes. She didn’t. She simply smiled and whispered, “Jamison, I’d like you to be the first to know that I love you.” His heart convulsed. She had finally said it. He couldn’t resist smearing his kisses all over her again, her neck, her breasts, and her stomach. They made love again, and it was like nothing he’d ever felt before.

  Chapter 20

  Over the next few weeks they kept their relationship low key. Nyla, out of respect for Ethan, didn’t want to flaunt it. Jamison was fine with it as long as Nyla was happy, and it wasn’t like they didn’t spend all their time together. They just kept the public displays of affection to a minimum. Ethan still took the breakup hard even though he was the one who did it. Nyla often caught him glancing at her during class. She hoped that they would be able to be friends again eventually. She still liked his level head and witty humor.

  Can you come over tonight? Jamison wrote on his notepad as they sat in the lecture hall together.

  Can’t. Maddie and I are going shopping for her dress for her dinner with her mom and new stepdad next weekend. Nyla wrote but glanced up every few seconds at the professor.

  Tomorrow after work?

  Yes, but you know, I’ll call you when I get home tonight. We can talk about it then. She knew they would. On the nights they didn’t spend together, they were on the phone until they all but fell asleep.

  I just wanted to ask before I forgot. Jamison smirked. He had been planning the evening since before Christmas. There was no way he would forget to ask something this important. He was playing it cool; he wanted it to be the perfect time in their new relationship. Not too soon, he didn’t want to do this too early. It had to seem like any other night. So far he’d managed not to say anything about it. He was proud of himself. He hoped Nyla would like her surprise. It was long overdue. He just wanted to take care of her from now on and give her everything she didn’t know she wanted.

  “Nyla, Nyla A?” Barry called out. Nyla stood in the corner trying to warm up as much as she could before she had to step out again into the bitter cold day. She walked up to the counter and took her coffee cup.

  “I added a touch of nutmeg for you,” he smiled apologetically. Tina stood seething behind the register; she had recently found out that Nyla and Jamison were dating. Nyla hoped she would get over her fit soon. She really liked Tina and hoped they could maybe even be friends.

  “Thanks. Barry. You guys take such good care of me,” Nyla smiled back. Tina snickered and told her customer his total. Nyla gave a final wave and was out the door into the freezing morning. She pulled her hat tighter on her ears. She entered the Gallery, took off her winter wear, and took her place behind her desk. Angela was showing a couple a few pieces in the main gallery already. Nyla quietly settled into her seat, engrossing herself in her work. As usual, Veronica and Angela went out to lunch, and Nyla ate her sack lunch. She was glad Angela had finally moved on from her break up with Jamison all those months ago. She was engaged on Valentine’s Day and said she was ready to settle down.

  Finally, when her day was over, she began her trek to Jamison’s apartment. He was happy living on his own. He’d told her he wasn’t going to find another roommate, she figured because he wanted them to have privacy. That was fine with her.

  She approached the door. There was a folded card taped to it. She opened the card and read.

  Sweet Nyla,

  The door is unlocked. Please come in. She opened the door to darkness.

  “James?” she called. She had settled the whole Jami nickname weeks ago by refusing to call him that. Suddenly the apartment lit up with soft twinkling Christmas lights and garlands lining the walls. A seven-foot Christmas tree stood in the center of the living room with the furniture pushed against the walls. It had a silver star on top of it that glistened under the lights. The tree had a beautiful silver and royal blue ribbon draped around it at an angle. White pearl, royal blue, and silver balls hung from the tree. It was elegant and gorgeous. Under the Christmas tree was a
small box, wrapped in paper that matched the scheme of the tree with an extravagant royal blue bow on the top. Nyla surveyed the rest of the apartment, looking for Jamison. He stood behind her at the light switch.

  “What did you do?” she asked him as she threw her arms around him. He chuckled, and she laughed with him.

  “Merry Christmas,” he whispered near her ear but more into her hair. He let go of her, took her hand, and led her to tree. As she got closer to the tree she saw more ornaments than what she had originally noticed. They were ornaments she had given him over the years. Even though she had hated him, up until she was seventeen, her mother had insisted she also give presents to Lindsey and Jamison at Christmas, and there they were. A baseball when he went out for the team in the eighth grade, a frame that held his tenth grade picture, a Bella and Edward glass ball—the very first ornament she had given him, an inside joke because during seventh grade she had convinced him to read Twilight. Then there were the ones she suddenly felt guilty about picking out for him because they weren’t nearly as thoughtful as the first two had been, just a pick up from Hallmark on their way to the Wilson’s for dinner. She fingered the Glass snow globe with a winter scene inside.

  “That’s my favorite, you know.” She looked at him, his smile sincere, and a tear escaped her eye. He continued smiling at the ornament, as he touched her hand still holding it. “It’s the last one you gave me, and I know we didn’t get along, but there was something comforting in knowing that I always got something from you. I’m going to spend my lifetime making up for those years.” He squatted down and picked up her present. He handed it to her. “Remember when we went Christmas shopping with Lindsey and Nadia when we were twelve? We went to the mall, and when we passed Bindley’s Jewelry store?” Nyla nodded, remembering the trip, but not the specifics. He continued, “You told me when you went to college, you were going to have a fabulous life with a charming, cute boyfriend, and he was going to spoil you with jewelry, and love you, and share all his secrets with you. You said you would carry them with you forever. I laughed at you because I didn’t believe you. I couldn’t imagine high school at that point, let alone college, but you always had your dreams and your plans.” Nyla looked down at the box in her hand. “Open it,” he encouraged her. She pulled the ribbon delicately. “My mom wrapped it,” he added nervously. She slid her finger under the paper by the tape. The paper ripped easily. She held the box in her hand and removed the lid. There was a white gold bracelet with a single charm on it. It was a sapphire heart with small diamonds around the fitting. She inhaled sharply as it sparkled and reflected the lights.

  “My first secret is that you have owned my cold, hard heart since I met you. I was just too stupid to realize it.” He took it out of the box and unhooked it. He draped it over her wrist and clasped it so that she could admire the sapphire. “I want to tell you all my secrets.” Tears streamed from her eyes, and at first he didn’t know if he’d chosen the right gift, but she threw her arms around him and kissed him. “I love it,” she breathed. She pulled away suddenly feeling guilty.

  “What?” he said, holding onto her.

  “I didn’t get you anything.” She wouldn’t look at him. He touched her chin and nudged her face toward his. She looked up at him.

  “Don’t feel bad because actually it’s not even Christmas.” He joked as he smiled broadly. She smiled too.

  “I love it though, so much.” She admired it over his shoulder.

  “I love you,” he said as he kissed her again. Then they snuggled into some blankets on the floor and looked at the tree sparkling in the dark room.

  Epilogue

  Nyla stood there and admired her dress. It was beautiful satin that sashayed down her figure to the floor. She looked at the other girls in the room. Their hair up in the same updo, and dresses matching made her think of the Barbie aisle in the toy department when she grew up. They bustled around the room, busying themselves with doting. There was an emergency with Nadia’s dress, but then there was always an emergency with Nadia these days, as if she needed more attention. Lindsey worked the zipper of her dress, trying not to snag the satin.

  “It’s time.” Mr. Wilson poked his head in the door. Everyone looked at him with panic in their eyes. Nadia reached across Lindsey and squeezed Nyla’s hand.

  “Are you ready to do this? You look so beautiful.” Nadia asked in hitched panic. The sisters smiled at each other, and Nyla squeezed her hand offering her sister strength.

  “So do you. I’m ready. Are you?”

  Jamison stood on the stage of the church. It was full of people he’d known his whole life. His family, his friends, and all of Nyla’s family crammed into the small Methodist church. The pastor walked to the center of the platform and nodded to the row of men standing there. The processional began, and the girls walked down the aisle. Then there was Nyla; she was beautiful. She smiled at him, not taking her eyes off him. He smiled lovingly at seeing her so gorgeous. She took her place. He let out a deep sigh, never having felt as lucky as he did at that moment. They were juniors at Roosevelt College. They were best friends, and he planned on spending the rest of his life with her. The music changed, and Nadia walked down the aisle, his father escorting her. Lane didn’t have to ask him to be a groomsman, but he was glad that he had. Lane and Nadia exchanged their vows, and once the ceremony was over, Jamison and Nyla walked down the aisle beside each other. Lindsey and Lane’s best friends were the maid of honor and best man, but Nyla and Jamison were the next couple to walk back down the aisle.

  “This will be us one day,” Jamison whispered in Nyla’s ear as they passed row after row.

  “I hope so,” she smiled as she squeezed his arm.

  The reception was beautiful. Jamison and Nyla danced all evening together. And when the newlyweds had said their goodbyes and made their way to the airport for their honeymoon in Hawaii, Jamison and Nyla changed into comfortable clothes so that they could go home to Chicago. That was home to them now. They lived there year round and were happy together. So at three o’clock in the morning, they stumbled into their apartment. It wasn’t as small as Nyla’s studio apartment, but it wasn’t as lavish as Jamison’s first apartment either. Nyla carried her suitcase to their bedroom, dropping it by the door and falling on her face on her side of the bed. She turned her face, crunchy curled hair spilling into her vision when she felt Jamison near her head.

  “I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but I didn’t want to rain on Nadia’s parade.” She sat up, realizing he was holding a small box. He opened it, and she realized he was on one knee.

  “Jamison—” She began to scoot to the edge of the bed.

  “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  “Yes, yes,” she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck. He laughed and hugged her tightly to him.

  “This summer then?” he asked. “Lindsey and Nadia are going to love planning another wedding.” She giggled in his arms as he pulled her left hand loose, took the ring out, and put it on her finger.

  “This summer, James?” she asked looking up into his crystal blue eyes. “When did you realize?”

  “Realize what?” He smiled as he lifted her and put her in the middle of the bed and curled up behind her.

  “Realize that there was something more between us.” She held his arm tightly around her waist. She loved hearing this story and asked him to repeat it often. He played along.

  “The first time was when I kissed you just before the ninth grade. The second was when the thought of never seeing you again every day dawned on me at graduation. The third was when I kissed you in that studio. And the fourth. . .” She caught her breath; there had never been a fourth time before when he explained it. “Was when you said yes to me just now.” She smiled and turned to face him, realizing that there was nothing more she needed in her life as long as she had him.

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