Oh, boy. Where do people get self-control from? I sure as shooting don’t have any, Luke thought to himself as he listened to the truck pull away.
Jamie found Luke still standing there five minutes later when she went upstairs to put a load of laundry away. “Luke, are you okay?” she asked with concern. He just looked at her a little confused. It took a few seconds for him to realize what she had said. He had to shake his head to bring her into focus.
“She did it again, didn’t she?” Jamie was just smiling at him like she knew something he didn’t.
Luke looked even more confused. Until he turned red with embarrassment when it dawned on him she knew about the first time Mindi had kissed him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just shook his head and walked out.
*******
When Jenny answered the door, she was surprised to see her younger sister standing there. Looking at the two, you would never have guessed they were related. Where Mindi’s hair was auburn, Jenny’s was blonde, and bleached almost white from the sun. And Jenny had bright blue eyes and was always tan. Their only true similarities, was their noses and their height. The both had the same small perky nose, and Jenny was only two inches taller than Mindi’s five eight.
“Wow, I didn’t know you were home from school,” she said, unaware at first of her sister’s turmoil. “When did you get in?”
“Friday. You would have known that, if you had made it to church Sunday,” she said pushing past her sister. “I need to talk.”
“I over slept. You sound upset. What’s going on?” Jenny asked, concern growing in her voice.
“I kissed Luke. Twice.” I almost did a lot more than kiss him.
“You’ve had a busy weekend.” That was Jenny for you. It always took a lot to shake her.
“You’re not helping.” Mindi walked in and sat down on the couch, then immediately got back up and started pacing. Oh my, God. What am I going to do? Obviously, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off him. Now I have got to tell him I lied.
“Oh, you were looking for help,” Jenny smirked.
Mindi groaned in annoyance. “Jenny.”
“Wait. What exactly do you mean by kissed? Did you kiss him on the cheek, or a peck on the lips?” Mindi just looked at her. “Or, heaven help us, an open mouth kiss?” She was starting to get more interested by the second. This could be good. I wonder if Luke is as big a mess as she is. That might actually be funny. He’s usually so level headed and calm.
“The third one. Like you didn’t know what I meant,” Mindi snorted. “I can’t seem to stop myself. The first time I think I meant for it to be a friendly peck. I’d hurt his feelings. It just didn’t end up that way. And, what do you mean, heaven help us?” she asked when it finally dawned on her what her sister had said.
“It’s just that this has been so long in coming, I’m afraid you might bite off more than you can chew at first. If you’re not careful. Nothing bad. I’m just concerned, that’s all.” They might need a chaperon.
Jenny placed her hands on her sister’s shoulders and steered her back toward the couch. “You might blow the town of Sapphire Springs off the map. You know, all that stored up passion.”
She took a deep breath and asked, “Okay, why did you kiss him the second time?” I’m actually almost afraid to ask.
Mindi jumped back up and started pacing again. She couldn’t hold still. “To distract him, so I could get out of the room,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “It backfired, though. I think I’m the one that got distracted.” Really distracted. I think he may have been trying to distract me. Or devour me. Yeah, devour me. I wish I would have let him.
“You’ve lost your mind, you know. He’s been waiting for you for five years. He’s very sexually charged. You can’t keep this up, or you’ll set a trap for yourself. I know he’s a good man, but he is only human.”
“He told me, he doesn’t sleep with the women he dates,” she said, looking almost horrified.
“He doesn’t. How did you make that leap?” Jenny asked with her usual dry tone. “He hasn’t even dated since you left for college this last year. I think he was waiting for you to get back. That’s why he’s so sexually charged. You’re the only one he wants. And now, you’re tugging on his cape.”
“Meaning?” Mindi tried sitting down once more. I wonder what he would think if I just asked him to marry me. I don’t think I can do this the traditional way. I’ll be crazy before we’re done.
“Please, if I need to explain that, then you need to go back to school.” She leaned over and punctuated her next statement by tapping her sister on the nose. “And. I. Don’t. Mean. College.”
“Let me reside in the state of denial for now.”
“Uh-uh. That would just be even more dangerous.”
Mindi just nodded in agreement and continued. “I don’t know what I’m doing. The first time I kissed him, I’d just told him I was dating someone else.” Why did I do that? It’s just made all of this that much more difficult.
“You’re not, are you? You haven’t said so if you are. I would have remembered that.”
“No, I haven’t dated since I left for college. And, please, don’t start in on me about what it means that I felt the need to lie.
“You already know what it means. But if didn’t work, so tell him the truth. You obviously aren’t going to be able to keep your hands off him.” Oh, boy. Can everyone say, shot gun wedding?
“I know. I know. I’m confused and terrified at the same time. I feel like I could have everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’m too scared to reach out and take it.”
“You can. You’re just going to have to walk out on faith, and take the leap.” Jenny leaned in, stressing her words. “But trust me when I say, he will be there to catch you when you do.” Maybe I need to take my own advice. Mark’s making me crazy.
“I wish I felt as sure about it as you and Mom.” Mindi dropped her head in her hands, close to tears.
“Oh, yeah. Mom left a message that we’re having a barbecue Saturday. Is he coming?”
She jumped back up and started pacing yet again. “I don’t know. But that brings me back to the second kiss. I went to his garage to tell him about it…”
“He’ll be there,” Jenny cut in. If for no other reason, to see if she’ll kiss him again.
Mindi continued talking like Jenny hadn’t even said anything. “I went to the garage. He was in his office, and he had his back to the door. He thought I was James. He asked, ‘Is she gone?’ He was talking about Tracy Lewis…”
“Tracy Lewis is back in town?” Jenny had a twisted sense of humor. She was a lot like Zane. She found this very amusing. This could come down to a cat fight. Of course, Mindi doesn’t fight like a typical girl. Those fighting lessons Zane gave us could come in handy.
“I don’t remember you being so rude. We were raised by the same parents. Right?” she asked like she was really starting to doubt that fact.
“Sorry,” Jenny said, biting her lip.
“Anyway, I thought he was talking about me, and I got upset and left.”
“Then how did you kiss him?”
“Seriously? You’re doing it again,” Mindi said, starting to sound very perturbed.
“Sorry, this conversation is a mine field,” Jenny said, trying not to laugh. “Continue.”
“I thought he didn’t want me around, because of the first time. Like he was trying to avoid me, or something. So, I went back home. He followed me to explain the confusion. Mom must not have been downstairs, because he came up to my room.”
“She would have sent him up.”
Mindi just gave her a dirty look this time. “He explained what had happened. He had me cornered in my room. I was afraid he was going to kiss me again. So, I kissed him to get around him.” That just sounded really crazy. I must have really been looking for a reason to kiss him.
“You gave him what he wanted, to keep from letting him get what he wanted? You’
re playing with fire. And once again, you’ve lost your mind.” Jenny was starting to sound serious for a change. Definitely, shot gun wedding time. Of course, Dad won’t need a shot gun. Luke already wants to marry her.
“Yeah, now that I’ve said it out loud, it does sound crazy. My thought was that I needed to be the one in control.” Mindi gave her sister an uncertain look. “That second kiss was almost scary. I certainly wasn’t the one in control. It didn’t catch him by surprise the way the first one did.” She hesitated for a second, trying to arrange the words in her head. “I felt like he was going to devour me.” Mindi’s voice was shaking. “And I would have been happy to let him. Really happy to let him.”
“Sis, I know you don’t believe this, but he is as much in love with you, as you are him. You’re his only true temptation. He’s been waiting for you for five years.” When is this going to finally sink into that thick skull of hers?
“I can only deal with one thing at a time,” she said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I’m going to have to tell him the truth. That I’m not dating anyone. But I don’t know how.” God, I hope he doesn’t end up hating me.
“Why don’t you try, hey Luke, I lied? I’m not dating anyone. I’m sorry.” What is it about love that makes people so crazy?”
“What if he can’t forgive me?” She ran her fingers through her hair, almost giving into the urge to yank it out by the roots.
“Sis, calm down. He’ll forgive you.” Jenny reached up and pulled her sister’s hands out of her hair. “Ripping yourself bald won’t help.”
“It’s just that, if we hadn’t been where we were, we might not have stopped. I was afraid Mom was going to catch us. That was the only reason I was able to stop at all.”
“It’s a good thing Mom was there. You need to be more careful.”
“Yeah, easier said than done.”
Chapter 5 – Tuesday, May 1
Mindi spent most of Tuesday afternoon outside with her younger brothers and sisters, playing in the water. She had missed things like this. It was really fun just spending time with her family. It had got her thinking. Thinking really hard.
She wondered what her mom and dad would think of her finishing college here. She was always so homesick while she was away at school. Her parents had felt it was important that she at least tried to go to college away from home. She had never understood that. She still didn’t. She just knew she couldn’t go back. She couldn’t leave home again. There were just too many things tying her to this little town. Not least among them, was Luke.
She walked into the house, unsure how she was going to explain this to her parents. She sat down at the kitchen table and just stared off into space. She was still sitting that way twenty minutes later when her dad came in the kitchen, having just got home from work.
“Mindi, are you okay?” he asked, sounding concerned.
She jumped up so fast, she knocked the chair over and almost landed on her rear end. She would have, had it not been for her father reaching out and grabbing her.
“Sorry, Sweetie. I didn’t mean to startle you so bad.” Her dad was looking at her with a really concerned, and almost confused look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked again.
She just looked at him for a few minutes. “I don’t know. I need to talk to you and mom about something.”
“I something wrong?”
“Not so much wrong. Just not right,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, trying not to cry.
Her dad could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. “Baby Girl, why so cryptic?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her, trying to comfort her.
“Can this wait till Mom’s here too?”
“Sure,” he said, looking like he really wanted to push, but deciding it probably wasn’t the best idea he had.
Five minutes later, her dad came back to the kitchen with her mom trailing behind him. It didn’t seem like he was willing to wait very long to have this conversation. Mindi had made him a little nervous, and she was really sorry about that, and she told him so.
“Dad, it’s important, but not that urgent. You didn’t have to get in such a big hurry.”
“It’s okay, Honey. If there is something bothering you, and you want to talk, I’m here,” her mom said, patting her on the back as she walked by her to sit in the chair across from her.
Her dad decided he didn’t want to be to be that far away, so he sit down beside her. He took her small hand in his large one, and her hand completely disappeared. “Now, what is this about?”
She sat silent for a few minutes, not sure how to begin. Her parents didn’t push, knowing she would get it out when she got it straight in her head.
“I don’t know for sure how you’re going to react to this, but here goes.” She took a deep breath, and started again. “I need to finish school here. I can’t leave home again. Not right now.”
“Can I ask why you feel this way?” As if I don’t know at least a large part of if already.
Her mom didn’t really sound angry, but she really wasn’t sure how she was taking this. “It was hard to leave the first time. Harder the second time.” She wasn’t sure how to go on. “This time, just to think about leaving again, feels like I’m ripping myself in two.”
This time her dad spoke up, asking, “Does this have something to do with Luke?”
“He’s a large part of it, yes. But he’s not all of it.” She sat silent for a few minutes, thinking about how to go on. “I know you wanted me to go to a bigger college, but I belong here. This is my home.”
“Sweetie, we knew this day would come. We half expected it last summer when you came home, but you decided to stick it out and try for another year.”
“You mean, you’re not mad at me for wanting to stay home?”
“No,” her mom said, shaking her head. “Making you go to college away from here was our version of pushing the baby bird out of the nest to teach her to fly on her own. We didn’t want you to stay here and never experience life somewhere else. We didn’t want you to regret it later, not knowing if you would have been happier if you had left this town.”
“But you’ve always known how I feel about Luke. Why would you think I’d ever regret staying?”
“That was as much to protect Luke as you. He’s been enough places, and had enough experiences that he knows what he wants without question. But you weren’t ready to say that. I’m not sure you are even now. I can tell you’ve come a lot closer though.”
“I don’t think I’m following you.”
“Your dad and I know what we believe your choice will be when it’s all said and done, but we want to know, when you’ve finally made that choice, you know it’s the right one.”
“Okay, I’m still a little foggy, but I think I’m tuning in.” She sat silent for a few minutes, then asked, “Are you okay with me finishing school here?”
“Yes.”
“Thank God. I couldn’t leave here for a whole year again.”
“You can work it out. Get everything transferred down here. I’m not crazy about the idea, but if you need to take a semester off, we can talk about that too. Just, please, finish school.”
“I’ll finish, Mom. Don’t worry.”
Chapter 6 – Thursday, May 3
Mindi hadn’t seen Luke since Monday when they had both come so close to losing complete control. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face him now, but he would be here within the hour. He always at dinner with her family on Thursday evenings. It was a longstanding family practice. The whole family would always show up for dinner on Thursday nights.
She needed to find something to keep her busy. Which was why she now found herself in the kitchen with her mom, fixing dinner.
“Mindi, are you okay? You seem a little uptight,” he mom asked, rubbing her shoulder blades with the palm of her hand.
“It shows?” she asked, sounding a little surprised. “I thought I was covering it up better than that.” I don’t know how much
of this I want to tell her.
Jamie sat the salad bowl she had just pulled out of the cabinet down on the counter and turned to look at her daughter. “Mindi, what’s wrong?”
“I’m nervous about Luke being here.” She gave a little shudder, showing just how nervous she really was.
“Did you two have another fight?” I wonder what it was this time.
“No. Our fights I can handle.”
“Then what is it?” This has something to do with her kissing him again.
“You know, Monday, when he came over to talk to me in the middle of the day?”
“Yes.” Her mom stopped what she was doing and stepped back over to her, looking her in the eye. “He was really keyed up. What happened?” Mindi was hesitant. She wasn’t sure how to go on. “What Mindi?”
“Well, I kissed him again,” she said on a breath, trying to get it out quickly.
“Is that all?”
“Mom, it’s not that simple,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s more to it.”
“Okay. Explain.” Mindi could see the ghost of a smile cross her mom’s face before she could paste a serious expression there.”
“Mom, this is more serious than you may think.”
“Well, like I said, explain.”
“If we hadn’t been here, with you in the house, we would have gone way too far.” She was starting to turn crimson from the guilt.
“Okay. What do you mean by too far?” Mindi seemed to have gotten through to her finally. That doesn’t surprise me. This has been coming for far too long.
“Shot gun wedding, too far,” she said, using the phrase her dad was fond of using. She felt her entire body flush with the memory.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” She stood there, unwilling to look up at her mom. “We had both lost complete control.”
“Well, what did stop you? I didn’t catch you.” He mom said, accepting that this was something Mindi and Luke were going to have to deal with on their own. She was always there for her children when they needed her, but this wasn’t something she could help fix. She couldn’t be there every time they were together.
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