He was old enough to be her grandfather. Marc felt a tightening in his gut. No doubt this man was Marc’s father—birth father. Suddenly, the thought of conversing with him made Marc want to run out the back door, mainly to avoid the feeling of looking at himself in the mirror twenty or thirty years from now. Until Angelina had come into his life, Marc had an early history of treating women as his personal smörgåsbord, just as this man seemed to do.
Chip off the old block.
Until Angelina had changed him.
Before he could bail out on this train wreck in the making, as if in slow motion, the older man scanned the room slowly and zeroed in on him. Fighting the urge to flee, Marc heard Angelina’s voice. Keep breathing. The time for running was over. He needed to face his past if he was going to avoid a similar fate for his future. He couldn’t move forward with Angelina until he knew who he was, good or bad.
While he would have hated for Angelina to see the man whose sperm had contributed to making him, he wished Angelina was here with him. Her steady presence or a comforting touch of her hand. She would have given him much-needed courage right now to face this man from the past who slowly approached Marc’s table.
“Marco Solari?”
The name jarred him for a moment, but he recovered and stood, automatically extending his hand and trying not to flinch as the man shook it. Firm grip. Eye contact. “Marc D’Alessio.” He’d never carry this man’s name.
“Of course. Good-looking young man. Tutto tuo padre.”
Even though Marc thought the same thing when he’d first seen Solari, he detested being compared in any way to the man who had spawned him. He hoped the similarities ended at the facial features. Motioning for Solari to be seated, Marc resumed his own seat.
They ordered drinks and dinner before staring silently at each other a moment, both at a loss for words. After an awkward period of time passed, Marc broke the silence. “So I take it you knew I’d come looking for you one day.”
Solari shrugged. “I figured you’d have a healthy curiosity and might wonder about your origins someday. Though it took you longer than I expected.”
Marc ignored the censure in his voice. “I didn’t really know about you until recently.” And now I wish I’d never heard about you.
An arched brow told him he’d surprised the man. Solari nodded. “I guess you were a bit young when your mother took you back. She always regretted giving you to her sister to raise.”
His words confused Marc. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that his mother was his aunt. “What do you mean?”
“Well, times were different then. Here in Italy, it was frowned upon for a single girl to turn up pregnant.”
Marc grew even more confused. “I thought you and Emiliana married before Gino was born.”
“Indeed. I’m talking about your mother. Your grandmother had encountered the stigma and shame of carrying an American Marine’s bastardo after the Second World War. When Natalia got pregnant, your grandmother forced her to give you to Emiliana to raise with our son, Gino.”
Marc’s heart began to pound. Hearing Paolo call Mama—Natalia—a bastard bothered Marc, but more upsetting was hearing a radically different story from the one Mama had told him. Who had lied? Or had he just gotten this increasingly complicated story confused?
“Maybe it would help if you started at the beginning.”
The server who had probably slipped Solari her number or address earlier came to the table and brushed her hip against his father’s arm, distracting the man from the conversation. After setting plates of antipasti in front of them, she winked at Marc and walked away. Marc turned his attention back to his father.
No, Solari. Papa was the only father Marc had ever or would ever know.
“You were saying.”
“Well, I’m sure Natalia filled you in on most of this. She and I slept together once—our hormones got away from us, I suppose—but that indiscretion resulted in you.”
Mama had said she’d dated this man before her sister had married him, but he insinuated something had transpired between Mama and her brother-in-law years later. The knot in Marc’s stomach made it impossible for him to eat, and he set his fork beside his plate.
“Terminating a pregnancy back then was unheard of here, so your mother went to live with an old schoolmate for the duration of her pregnancy while Emiliana pretended to be pregnant when in public.” He popped a kalamata olive into his mouth and leaned forward. “My wife detested being pregnant, real or make-believe, so that was not a happy time in our marriage.”
Marc couldn’t help but feel the man was blaming him for that inconvenience in his life when Marc had had nothing to do with the choices of three screwed-up adults.
Solari leaned back in his chair and took a sip of wine. “Seven months later, you were born and came to live in my household.”
The cold way he described his beginnings rankled Marc. Love hadn’t been part of the equation. He was merely a problem to be passed off to another couple.
At least one person in that household had cared about him at one time, anyway. “Gino is my half-brother then.” Well, according to this man’s account.
“Yes. He doted on you. There was no chance of him having a brother any other way. Emiliana had quit fulfilling her wifely duties to me by that point.”
Judging by the man’s roving eye, no doubt he hadn’t lacked for female companionship. For all Marc knew, any number of half-siblings could be running around Italy with his father’s genes.
“You know Gino was killed in Afghanistan.”
Without emotion, Solari nodded. “Sì. Natalia sent me a telegram. Sad business that war.”
The man hadn’t bothered to show up at his son’s funeral. That was even more sad, although Gino had never mentioned this man, so perhaps he’d also considered Papa to be his only real father.
Marc took a long, slow draw from his pinot bianco before nailing his father with his gaze once more. “Tell me more about Gino as a boy.”
Solari shrugged. “I didn’t really have a lot to do with either of you growing up.”
Big surprise.
“I suppose Gino was a typical boy. I do remember how protective he was of you when…well, especially when Emiliana became ill.”
An image of a frail woman in a bed flashed and faded as quickly as it had come to mind but not before Marc felt the urge to flee.
“Marco, andiamo alla nostra tana! Gino’s boyish voice, calling out to him to go their lair, sounded loud in his ears, as if he could turn and find his brother standing next to him again. Sweat broke out on his upper lip as adrenaline rushed through him. Marc gripped the stem of his glass and attempted to regain control of his emotions.
Good boy. Keep breathing.
Hearing Angelina’s grounding words helped calm him. After taking another sip of wine, he decided he needed to know more if he was ever going to understand his past. “Tell me what happened to Emiliana.”
The man waved off the question. “Jealousy. Insecurity. She was a mess even before she got cancer. Emotionally unstable. I left her for good a few months before she died.”
You must be very proud of yourself.
The image of the woman lying on the bed must have been Emiliana. That this man would abandon his dying wife and two small sons spoke volumes to his character—or lack thereof.
“Gino found her. He was only about six.”
“They found you hours later in that rat’s nest hiding place in the woods behind the house. I doubt you remember much about that night.”
Jumbled images from his childhood, but who knew which had happened that night and if any of them were even real. Might be dreams. Rat’s nest didn’t sound right. Marc had no memory of a favorite hiding place.
Dio, poor Gino. He’d been the one to find their mama lying dead. The backs of his eyes burned as he lifted his glass, drained it, and refilled both glasses from the bottle left at the table. Gino hadn’t deserved to be cast
aside by Marc over some gold-digger opportunist like Melissa. He also hadn’t deserved to die on that mountainside in Afghanistan. Marc couldn’t remedy any of that. He just needed to—
“Your mother was nothing like Emiliana.” Solari’s smile made Marc uncomfortable but pulled him back into the conversation with slight relief. He didn’t want to think about Gino right now, for some reason.
“Natalia had a passion for life. She was strong, willful. Much more difficult to break.”
Marc didn’t understand the last statement but remained silent to let the man continue uninterrupted.
“Of course, our affair only complicated things between the sisters. There never had been much love lost between the two of them.”
Affair? When the man didn’t seem intent on continuing, Marc knew he needed more information.
“You had an affair with your sister-in-law?”
Solari waved his hand in the air. “More of a one-night thing. Imagine our surprise when you were the result of one lousy lay.”
Blood pounded in his ears. He had no intention of discussing Mama’s affair—or one-night stand, which sounded more accurate—with this philanderer who had fathered him.
Did Papa know Marc might be her son and not her nephew? Curiosity nearly won out, but he decided he didn’t want to confront Mama about any of this. Not yet, anyway. He needed time to sort it out and determine what questions he wanted to ask. Then he’d talk with Mama. Later.
Would she be any more honest with him the next time? Marc wanted answers. He needed to find out who the fuck he was. But an equal part of him wanted to put off the confrontation he expected. He’d never liked drama.
When Solari began paying more attention to the server than the conversation with his biological son, Marc settled the check without any offer from Paolo to pay.
“You know, I’m not opposed to sharing.” Marc thought he was talking about the bill but realized the man’s gaze focused again on the server. “That one might be more than one man can handle.”
Marc thought he was going to lose his meal. He pulled the bills out of his wallet, not wanting to wait for a credit card to be processed. “I’ve got some things I need to attend to.” Like getting as far away from my past as possible, namely you.
“Give my regards to Natalia. Tell her I never forgot her.”
Somehow Marc knew he wouldn’t be extending the man’s greetings to Mama, not anytime soon at least.
With more questions than answers, Marc said good-bye and headed outside. The late-winter air was chilly but the sun bright and warm. He needed to walk, to think, to breathe. Leaving the side street, he headed toward the Piazza del Campo. The pleasure of being back in his homeland for the first time in twenty-some years, albeit only as close as nearby Tuscany to his native province of Lombardy, had been dampened by meeting the man who had fathered him.
He entered the Campo and a flock of startled pigeons took flight, distracting him. He watched two of the birds alight on a sculpture perched high on a pedestal above the plaza. The bronze-looking sculpture showed two babies suckling at the tits of a wolf. Sweat broke out on Marc’s forehead. Why did the statue send a chill down his spine? He’d never been to Siena before, but of course, he was familiar with the story depicted by the sculpture. Every Italian schoolboy learned the tale of Romulus and Remus being rescued by the she-wolf. But he hadn’t thought about the story since primary school. And that story was about the founding of Rome, not Siena.
Images of a child’s costume mask flashed across his mind before being replaced by the wolf mask he once wore at the Masters at Arms Club, the one someone stole four months ago. Why anyone would want to steal something like that was beyond him, but he hadn’t really missed it. Why he’d chosen to wear a wolf’s mask when Mama had asked him to be discreet while at the club was beyond him.
The child’s mask flashed again before his eyes.
Marc shook off the eerie feeling the sculpture gave him and continued through the Campo on his way to his hotel. He needed to see if he could catch an earlier flight home. Remaining in Italy even another day held no appeal. He wanted to get back to Angelina.
What would he tell her about the man who had fathered him? He’d prefer to forget this meeting had ever happened.
Dio, he needed to hold Angelina.
* * *
Marc opened the garage door and saw that her car was gone. Maybe she’d gone over to Karla’s. The two had become good friends. He’d texted her to let her know his plane had landed and asked if she’d like to have dinner out. No response.
He needed to talk with her about Siena. Marc placed his keys on the granite countertop and surveyed the kitchen. Spotless, not that unusual. Even the leftovers from Damián’s birthday party had been removed from the fridge.
The silence within the house threatened to envelop him as he walked toward the foyer. Too quiet. He took the stairs two at a time and went straight to their bedroom. Inside, he found the bed made, his latest mystery on the nightstand, but no sign of Angelina’s e-reader. Crossing the room, his heart pounding, he opened the closet. Only her red dress hung there, the one with the keyhole back she’d worn the night at daVinci’s the night she’d come back into his life.
Everything else was gone.
Angelina was gone.
He was alone.
Again.
He couldn’t believe she’d actually left him. She’d threatened to do so, but he hadn’t expected her to follow through.
Or had he?
Marc turned back toward the vanity and saw a card propped against a photo of him and Angelina taken at Adam’s wedding. Trying to keep calm, he walked across the room and picked up the card. He opened the tucked-in flap and pulled out the small flowery card. Marc stared at the columbines on the card’s face a moment, afraid to open it and see what she’d written. He set the card down again.
Maybe if he didn’t read it, none of this would be real. Angelina would still be here. Perhaps this was just a dream, and he’d awaken with Angelina by his side.
He looked at the card. No, this was more like a nightmare that had started more than two months ago. He glanced at the bed.
The room began to close in on him.
Trapped.
Funny, but in the past, he’d gotten that feeling when a woman got too close. Now the prospect of being without one very special woman left him feeling suffocated.
Needing to get out of this room where they’d shared so many special times, he exited the room and headed back to the kitchen, pulling a bottle of pinot bianco from the wine rack and placing it in the chiller. His hands automatically reached for two wine glasses from the cabinet before he remembered he was alone.
Again.
Wait. She’d left her beloved Nonna’s vanity. No way would she leave that and not plan to come back. The image of the flowers on the card had been branded on his mind. He poured another glass of wine and returned to the bedroom, needing to know what she’d said. Picking up the card once more, Marc walked over to the bed. He set the glass on the nightstand, sat on the edge of the mattress, and stared at the front of the card a little longer.
Open it.
He lifted the glass to his lips and drained it before finally opening the card. Angelina’s neatly printed words filled the entire inside of the card. He began to read:
Marc,
I love you more than life itself, but if you can’t let me be a part of your life, it won’t be good for either of us. I need to know that you want—no, need—me by your side, in good times and, well, times like now.
She’d drawn two lines under the word need.
I hope one day you will be able to shed whatever pain from the past holds you hostage. Call me if you ever decide to let me share your heart and your life.
Yours,
Angelina
Marc blinked as the words blurred. He picked up his glass, needing a drink, and realized he’d already emptied it. Leaving the card on top of his book on the nightstand, he carri
ed the glass back to the kitchen and refilled it before he picked up the bottle to carry into the living room.
Once more, this enormous house closed in on him like a mausoleum. Angelina had brightened it up with her presence, but she was gone. From the sound of that letter, she wouldn’t be back until he got his shit together.
If she could wait that long.
Perhaps he should have taken her with him to Tuscany, but that mess was between him and his father. No, Solari. The only man who would be honored with the name father was Marc’s real father, Papa. That man in Tuscany had done nothing but donate some of his sperm. Still, Marc hadn’t wanted to involve Angelina in something that private—and potentially volatile. He’d had no idea what he’d find in Italy.
Nothing had changed.
Realization dawned. Therein lay the problem. How many times while in Siena had he wished Angelina had been with him? He’d included her in the discussion with Mama, and she’d helped him remain grounded—up to a point. Unfortunately, his own stubborn pride and need for privacy had kept him from having her with him—both in Italy and now in their home. No, his home. She’d left. She wanted no part of being here with him.
He was thankful she hadn’t met the bastard who had fathered him, though. Would she have seen traits of Marc in Solari? Marc preferred to think there were no similarities between them that couldn’t be detected without a microscope, but what if he was destined to be like his sperm donor—lecherous and lonely, looking for his next lay and never finding a woman he could share himself with?
A woman like Angelina.
He took another gulp of the wine and picked up the remote to turn on the DVD player to finish a movie he’d started watching last week, some blockbuster action flick that would take his mind off Angelina.
Instead, he found himself on a high-speed train barreling through southern France with the couple in Angelina’s favorite film, French Kiss. He’d always balked at watching the sappy chick flick with her unless she cuddled up next to him watching while he read and relaxed.
Somebody's Angel (#5 in a Military Romance / BDSM Romance series) (Rescue Me) Page 20