Slap!
Fuck, that hurt! Same spot on his thigh, still sore from the last slap. Did that mean he hadn’t remained awake very long? He’d never played with a tawse and had no idea how long the sting lasted. Yet it was oddly familiar.
He needed to stay awake. He hadn’t even been down here all that long—had he? Hell, he had no fucking clue what time—or day—it was anymore. Every time Marc’s head nodded and he dozed off, Adam slapped his ass or thigh with the tawse and woke him, but Marc had no clue about time anymore. He also couldn’t control his yawns, although moving his jaw was difficult under the tight hood.
Tired. Bone tired. After a hellacious week of very little sleep, being further deprived of sleep while having his senses bombarded by this incessant noise left his body and mind screaming for escape.
No way out. He’d given Adam complete authority—no, control. Adam didn’t remove the headphones to speak to him. Instead, he just kept waking him with the tawse. At least he assumed Adam was doing it. He needed to sleep, though, and if this went beyond eighteen hours or so, he would have brought Damián or Grant from the club to wield the implement in order for Adam to take breaks.
Marc hadn’t been smacked by the tawse for such a long time, he wondered if Adam was still here.
Sleep is overrated.
How many times had he heard Adam say that? So perhaps he hadn’t taken a sleep break. As a Navy Corpsman, he’d seen Marines appear awake who no longer responded to wakeful stimuli. Micro-sleeps lasted mere seconds. Had he zoned out in one of those?
What if Adam had left him here alone, though? Marc didn’t want to be left alone down here.
His mouth was dry, but no one had offered another drink since the first one however long ago. Auuuggghhhhh. A cramp in his right calf had him screaming in pain, but he couldn’t put enough pressure on it to relieve it. Would Adam come to his aid or leave him dangling from the ceiling?
“Leg cramp, Sir!”
A tug on the rope above him and Marc felt himself start to fall before his back was slammed against the wall. He’d been cut down. Adam hadn’t left him! Wrists still cuffed, arms aching at yet another change in position, he stood as Adam massaged the cramp in his calf away. He gritted his teeth as Adam’s hands caused more pain than comfort at first, but slowly the cramp eased.
Adam broke contact, and Marc continued to lean against the wall, uncertain his legs would hold him without the crutch. The hood was lifted off his lower face, and a cold, hard plastic bottle pressed against his lips. He opened wide to gulp down the precious water. When no more poured from the bottle, his tongue reached out to lick the lip of the bottle for any remaining drops. Dio, he wanted more!
Marc waited on the floor for an indeterminate time.
The headset continued to blare into his ears. If Adam said anything, Marc couldn’t hear. No one touched him any further.
Abandoned. Again.
Where did that thought come from? Adam wouldn’t abandon him. Even if he had to leave, Marc was merely alone, not abandoned. He had spent time alone many times. Sometimes he preferred being alone.
Until Angelina.
Why did he feel so much more insecure now at the thought of being left alone?
His mind flashed back to another time when he’d felt alone. His whole world had been blown apart…along with his big brother.
The casket had remained closed at the funeral home visitation. Gino’s body had been too mangled by the mortar for the mortician to even try to make him look like he once had. Mama insisted on holding onto her memories of him alive.
Numb. Marc felt numb. He stood apart in the corner, observing as Sandro comforted Mama while Carmella, her face streaked with tears, accepted the condolences of the many people standing in line. Melissa, dressed in a tight black cocktail dress, was being fussed over by some of her friends from college. She took to being the near-widow like a hand to a glove, but did she really love Gino the way he deserved? Hell, they hardly knew each other.
Except for business interactions, his family had left him alone since they’d returned to Aspen following Gino’s funeral. Did Mama and Papa blame Marc for Gino enlisting in the Marines—blame him for getting the favored son killed?
No, that wasn’t logical. Gino had enlisted because their adopted country had been attacked.
Marc’s gaze returned to his former girlfriend. Melissa. Why he’d ever thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he didn’t understand anymore.
Comparing her to Angelina, well, there was no comparison. How had he and Gino both been so blind?
The first volley of the twenty-one gun salute jolted Marc’s senses and brought him back to Fort Logan where Gino had been laid to rest. Row upon row of military-issue tombstones covered the hillside. Snow blanketed the ground, except where Marc and his family stood preparing to say their final good-bye to the once-vibrant Gino D’Alessio.
Rage filled him at the tragic waste.
“Why did you leave me behind, Gino? You promised…”
He screamed the words in his head, but didn’t utter a sound aloud. If he screamed, Adam would punish him…
He couldn’t hear himself think anymore. He didn’t have permission to speak. Adam was watching, listening, protecting.
Wasn’t he? Wanting some kind of confirmation he wasn’t alone, even if it meant painful punishment, Marc screamed, “Adam! Where the fuck are you?”
No response. Adam was gone.
Fear clawed at Marc, but he refused to give it a foothold. Adam would be back. Maybe he’d gone to the head.
Marc remembered waking up in Fallujah with Adam watching over him from across the room. His master sergeant told Marc all about Gino, the Marine. Gino, the hero.
He didn’t blame Adam for abandoning him, now that he knew Marc had failed at all attempts to play the hero.
Angelina had been beaten senseless by Sir Asshole, because Marc had been late to arrive at the club for his dungeon monitor duties.
Sergeant Miller had bled out before he could reach him. No, there was nothing he could have done for Miller. He’d been dead before Marc had answered the “Corpsman Up!” call and made it to the rooftop to render aid.
But Damián lost his foot in the same attack. Could a more experienced corpsman have saved it? In those days, training was accelerated to get as many corpsmen in the field as possible, with the country fighting combat in two active arenas.
The headphones continued to blare the fucking music into his ears. How long did Adam plan to keep this shit up? This bombardment of his senses wasn’t going to achieve anything but giving him a migraine.
The floor was cold, and a shiver coursed through his body. His muscles ached from a series of shivers, and his jaw ached from clenching his teeth. No relief. Every muscle in his body screamed for release. The incessant noise filled his ears, and his mind ached as much as the other parts of his body.
Honestly, somehow it always seems that I’m dreaming of
something I can never be
It doesn’t bother me, ’cause I will always be that pimp I see
in all of my fantasies
Manwhore.
Anger boiled beneath the surface. “Turn this fucking shit off!” Marc’s voice came in loud and clear through the headset. He hoped Adam heard him. He was tired. He needed sleep. He didn’t want to continue with this fucking scene anymore.
Marc shouted, “What the fuck are you waiting for, Adam?” Nothing. “Interrogate me!” Silence. “This is a fucking waste of time!”
So he’d remembered a couple of scenes from the past; how were those memories going to win Angelina back?
I don’t know your fucking name…
Screwin’ may be the only way that I can truly be free.
Marc ached to make love with Angelina again. He felt his cock grow rigid with thoughts of Angelina’s sexy body restrained for him to pleasure her. The image faded, along with his hard-on.
He waited for Adam to turn off the music.
Even to have Adam slap him with the tawse—at least it was human contact. He wanted this scene to be over.
Nothing.
Marc sagged against the floor in defeat. What did it matter if Adam stayed or not? The only person he wanted to speak to would never hear him again. His face was cold and wet. Tears.
“Stop crying…”
“Gino? Is that you?”
Silence.
Gino, you were supposed to protect me. Why did you abandon me?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gino, home from college for the winter break, nabbed Marc as he crossed the lobby after a hard day on the slopes.
“Mrs. Giovanni in the Presidential Suite wants you to help her with something, Marco.” Gino had sent him up there. Had he known just what kind of help she wanted? Had she really asked for him or had Gino turned her down already?
Marc walked into the suite when she opened the door after the first knock. The middle-aged woman had been staying at the hotel every ski season for years. Marc and his family provided individualized attention to their regulars, and Mrs. Giovanni was certainly a regular.
“How may I help you, ma’am?”
“You’ve grown into a handsome young man, Marco.” She sipped at her amber-colored cocktail on the rocks. “I watched you giving ski lessons today. You’re very much in control there.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” He still had no clue what she wanted with him but had an uneasy feeling. He wanted to leave the room, but he’d just been lectured by Mama for not pulling his weight at the resort. She complained that he’d spent too much time in the mountains hiking or skiing alone, without clients. If one of their guests needed something, he’d been ordered to assist.
“What is it I can do for you, ma’am?”
“Do you sometimes feel like you have no control over anything in your life?”
All the time.
He simply nodded.
“How would you like to learn to take control whenever you want it, Marco?” Her gaze roamed over him from head to boots before settling on his groin. “To take control of your body?”
“I beg your pardon?”
The old lady was creeping him out. When she slinked toward him, her gaze locked with his in steely determination, like that of a predator about to pounce on its helpless prey. Although he didn’t think himself helpless, he had to fight the urge to run.
Her stilettos click-clicked on the parquet floor.
Her gaze never left his.
“I want to show you how to take charge of a woman. Of me.”
At seventeen, busy at the resort and school, Marco hadn’t had much time for girls. They made him nervous. He never seemed to say or do the right thing when he was around them. Most weren’t interested in the outdoor activities he loved.
Mrs. Giovanni reached up and traced her cold finger, damp from holding the cocktail, down his cheek to his lower lip. He felt his cock start to grow in his pants.
“Take control of me, Marco. Make me submit to your will. Let me show you where your potential lies as a man.”
Marco took a step back. “N-no, thanks, Mrs. Giovanni. It’s my job to make sure you’re satisfied during your stay here. You aren’t supposed to do anything for me.”
She grinned, and his heart pounded. “True.” She took him by the shirt. “Then come into the bedroom. There’s something I need you to do for me.”
Realization dawned. He wasn’t so naïve he couldn’t tell she was seducing him. All his friends at school were making out with girlfriends. He wanted to find out what the big deal was and maybe learn how to do it right if he ever had a girlfriend of his own.
No, that went way beyond what his parents expected of him as far as servicing the guests. And she was old enough to be his mother. He dug in his feet and stood stock-still. “No, Mrs. Giovanni. If you need me to lift or carry something, give a ski lesson, take you hiking in the backcountry, I’m at your service. Otherwise…”
She slapped him. “What on earth do you think I was asking?” The change in her demeanor made him wonder how he’d misread her. “My boy, get out before I tell Mrs. D’Alessio what horrible things you accused me of!”
Cheek stinging, fearing he’d fail meeting Mama’s expectations yet again, Marco faltered. “I’m sorry. I misunderstood. What is it you need?”
She glared at him a long moment and then smiled, making him uneasy again. “I assure you it’s perfectly innocent. I have no intention of removing my clothes, and you’ll remain fully clothed, as well. I just need you to help me learn discipline.”
“The resort has trainers who can help you come up with a workout program that’s right for you.”
“I want help learning to discipline my mind as well as my body.”
He’d learned about self-discipline and mind over matter in school. The subject fascinated him. He had even learned to control his breathing and heart rate using meditation techniques. Perhaps he could share some of what he’d learned with Mrs. Giovanni.
As Marco followed her to one of the suite’s bedrooms, he wondered why they couldn’t work on this in the living room.
Slap!
Marc jerked awake again as something slapped across his ass. The headphones were yanked off his head, but the ringing in his ears continued even after the music stopped.
“I can see you need a lesson in discipline if you’re going to stay awake as you’ve been ordered.”
While he’d been sure a man had spoken, an image of Mrs. Giovanni slapping his face set Marc’s heart pounding harder. He hadn’t thought about that woman in years. He thought he’d put the memory of her to rest somewhere so deep it could never resurface. The woman had spent the next several months indoctrinating him into the ways of being a Dominant.
Angelina had asked if he had been a gigolo. Too nice a word for it.
More accurate would be manwhore, sans sex.
“Tell me where you are.” The male’s voice sounded as if it came through a long tunnel yet comforted Marc in some way.
“The resort my parents own in Aspen.”
“What’s going on?”
Marc couldn’t talk about this with a stranger. He didn’t even want to think about that time in his life again.
“Deep breath. Now.” A firm hand rubbed the strained muscles in Marc’s nape.
Marc drew as deep a breath as he could, but his heart continued to race.
“Who are you with?” The voice wasn’t harsh the way it had been before. He cared.
“Mrs. Giovanni.”
“Does she work at the resort?”
“No, she’s one of the guests. A regular. Very rich.”
“How old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
“She the one who introduced you to the world of kink?”
How could this man know about that? Marc had never told anyone. No, he had told someone once about these older women who had so much power over him.
Had he spoken the secret aloud? He thought he’d been asleep and dreaming. Was he hallucinating? Hell, he didn’t know what was real anymore.
“What did she have you do?”
“I’m not talking about this anymore with you.” I don’t want to remember.
Smack!
Something slapped against his ass again, the sting worse than ever. “You answer me now or I’ll beat it out of your hide.”
“Paddling, sir!” Master Sergeant Montague! The name that went with that voice was Adam, but somehow Marc knew he shouldn’t have called him sir.
“She had you paddle her?”
“No, Top.”
“Breathe.” Marc followed the order. “Again.” Adam paused until he’d complied. “So she paddled you.”
“Yes, Top. With her hairbrush at first. Then a tawse.” Why did Master Sergeant Montague want to know about his kink?
“Did you like it?”
“Hell, no! She restrained and gagged me, so I wouldn’t scream too loudly and tip off any of the staff.”
“That
the only time you’ve been gagged?”
He had to think a moment. “No. Angelina did it, too.” Angelina. He rescued her at the Masters at Arms Club. No wait. She was his girl. Adam was a member of the club, too. Not his master sergeant any longer.
“She tops you?” The surprise in Adam’s voice couldn’t be missed.
The pause stretched out longer than was comfortable. “I let her top me once. Didn’t like that either.”
“Probably not. You’re a Dom, not a switch or sub.”
“How do you know?”
“What makes you ask?”
“I never felt like a Dominant until—” There she was again.
“Until what?”
“Mrs. Giovanni. That first time I figured out I didn’t want to be the bottom, but then she gave me the paddle, and she bent over the bed. I walloped her good to pay her back. She didn’t scream. Cried a little, but mostly she just took it. Afterward, she stood up, smiled in this weird way, and told me to leave. I thought she’d tell Mama what I’d done, but the next afternoon, she sent for me again.”
“And…?”
“Taught me how to use a riding crop that time.”
“How did it make you feel, topping her?”
“Empty. Dirty.” There, he’d said it. “I didn’t get into Topspace at all. Didn’t feel like a Dominant, just a…patsy.”
A Domwhore.
“You’ve gotten there eventually, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t happen for a very long time.” He’d been used by so many women—the cougars at the resort, Melissa, Pamel—no wait. Pamela hadn’t used him. They’d just needed to move in different directions.
“How is it with Angelina?”
“Best ever. She brings out the Dom in me, and I achieve Domspace regularly with her.”
“Why do you think that’s so?”
Marc thought a moment. “She needs me. Respects me.”
Doesn’t use me.
“What was that thought?”
How had Adam picked up on his errant thought? Of course, he was a Dom and well-schooled in reading body language and facial features. Marc shouldn’t have tried to evade truthfully answering the question.
“She doesn’t use me.”
Somebody's Angel (#5 in a Military Romance / BDSM Romance series) (Rescue Me) Page 41