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The Postman’s Foot
I'm not greedy. I'm sure you're far too clever to be taken in by silly rumours that sometimes I wolf my food down too fast. It's just that I get hungry.
After my period of hunting in the dark-time, I came back through the clearway and found that 'The Her’ and ‘The Him' had filled my dishes with fresh chicken. I was hungry, very hungry, as the hunt had not gone well. I tell you this so that you Longlegs will understand that when I started feeling sick, it was the food's fault and not mine for eating it at speed in case it got away.
My stomach started rebelling against me and I made the sound of wanting to give the food back. 'The Her' grabbed me round the stomach and ran with me. This did not help at all. ‘The Him’ opened the large clearway and I was ejected unceremoniously. Unfortunately my flight came to an abrupt end as I hit a ‘Him’ who comes daily and puts things through the little hole in the clearway. We were both startled but he more so as my stomach had decided now was a good time to eject it's contents, all over the removable paws of The Daily ‘Him‘.
I scrambled to gain my footing and shot off to admire the flowers in the garden from inside a large bush, but from where I could hear loud words from the clearway as The Daily ‘Him’ and ‘The Her’ talked. I saw ‘The Him’ come with water stuff and start wiping down the Daily ‘Him's’ back paws.
Things quieted down a little and The Daily ‘Him’ left, I could hear him talking quiet words all down the path. ‘The Her’ threw water all over the place where the infected food had left me and turned to go inside. I shot in before the clearway was closed against me.
I did not think the long legs would understand about my illness but I was wrong. As I launched myself onto ‘The Her’s’ sleeping place she came in and offered strokes as I heard her saying "Poor Oscar" and other things I don't understand. I lay back and accepted my due.
Now all I have to do is hope that Ginger and the others don't hear of my flight or I'll never hear the end of it.
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Sock it to Me One More Time
I like to sleep on the longlegs sleeping places. Sometimes with them and often without. I also have a sleeping place they gave me which hangs from a warm place and a secret ,quiet place of my own. Or it was secret until today.
'The Her' was scratching her claws with something that made a lovely sound and I liked the movement. Back and forth, back and forth. I liked it so much that I jumped onto her legs and rubbed my head against her paws so she could stroke me. As she did so I grasped the scratch thing in my mouth and ran. She called after me but not very loudly and I heard that funny hiccuping sound again that they make when happy. I could hear her telling 'The Him' something to make him hiccup too.
I took the 'borrowed' object to my secret bed but it did not move back and forth for me. It just lay there even though I played with it a lot.
After a while I rested.
Later on as I walked through my home I saw something interesting in the small place with a seat. The door was open and near the fountain where I sometimes get a drink was something long and hard with a wonderful smell. The hole where the smell came from was too small to get anything but the very tip of my tongue. It was annoying but I knocked it to the ground to play some more. As I jumped down I landed on it and a long worm ran out of the small hole. I pounced but my claws went straight through it and my paws were covered in the white sticky with a nice smell. I soon tired as it did not play with me and decided to walk away. As I did so it was funny because my paws were left behind wherever I walked and yet they stayed on my feet. I could see them, and I walked in a circle and so did they.
'The Him' came towards me but he did not hiccup this time. I heard my name in a roar and ran. 'The Him' followed and caught me up with his long legs just as I reached my secret sleeping place. He roared again as he saw where I was and my bed.
"Socks" he shouted, "My socks" he shouted even louder, and started pulling my bed to pieces, lots of pieces, lots and lots of pieces as I had found that his removable fur for his back paws was very very soft and nice to sleep on so I had 'borrowed' some.
'The Her' approached to see what was wrong and there were the hiccups I liked again. They were so loud that even 'The Him' had to join in and at last he rubbed my head as I deserved.
As it is now a good hunting time I will not be telling my stories every day. I hope you will forgive me for this but I must find lots of gifts for my Longlegs.
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The New Girl in Town
It was light-time and I had been for a walk in the green stuff and to talk to my friends. Ginger was in a good mood and didn't want to fight though he didn't want to talk either so Tiger, Gizmo and I had told our stories of this disappointment we felt in our Longlegs.
None of them seemed to show the proper gratitude for our hunting skills and for the gifts we brought. Tiger who is the largest amongst us had even brought back a flying hunter that hooted too close to him, to his Longlegs and they had made loud noises at him before shutting him away. They must have eaten it though because it had gone when they let him out again. Typical Longlegs.
We were joined by Smokie, a new lady who had only just moved to the homes. As she approached I'd heard Ginger start to purr in a 'notice me' kind of way but she ignored him and came to talk. I saw both Tiger's and Gizmo's ears perk up but they pretended not to notice her arrival. They're both quite young and still need to impress. Smokie didn't seem to notice and just asked whose ground we we're on. I said this was a place we could all come without fighting so she relaxed and asked how the hunting was in the dark time. Everyone spoke at once to tell of the time they had done this or nearly done that or what gifts they had won for their own Longlegs. Even Ginger told of the time he had nearly caught a brush tail though I noticed he didn't tell that it was only a cub.
Smokie looked and sounded impressed for a minute and then started to wet her paw to wash herself.
"And who lives in the big place" she asked, pointing her nose in the direction of my home. "That's mine" I replied, " would you like to see it?"
"Love to" she said.
"Come on then" I told her as I walked away , and yes I swaggered a bit. After all, she hadn't asked the others where they lived.
I jumped up to the open clearway and told her to follow me, which she did.
"Welcome" I purred. It's difficult not to be impressed by such a pretty young thing.
First place I took her was my dishes to offer her some food. She accepted gracefully and by the way she ate I would say gratefully too. Then I showed her the sleeping places of my long legs and told her of the way I liked to wake my 'The Him' at early light to open a clearway. We we're just on our way to the place where my Longlegs sit when the clearway opened and there was my 'The Him' now. I was about to tell Smokie who this was but she had turned and run, I turned back to 'The Him' and he had jumped back at the sight of us. "You scared my friend" I told him and putting out a paw I swiped him. He jumped back another step and fell backwards over the side of his sitting place. As I saw his legs in the air I didn't stop to laugh as I thought maybe I'd gone a little too far. My name was roared and that told me maybe I was right.
I turned with as much dignity as I could and swaggered off to find Smokie. She had retreated to the open clearway. She explained that she didn't have much trust in Longlegs and with a purr goodbye and thanks she was off. I was not pleased at all that my 'The Him' had spoiled the visit but I purred that she was welcome anytime and turned to get some food.
After I ate I went back to the sitting place and my 'The Him' was there talking loudly and I know my name was mentioned. I ignored him and jumped up onto the legs of my 'The Her' and started purring until she scratched me behind the ears and started purring in her own way back at me.
After a while I might even sit with my 'The Him' and let him stroke me just to show him I'm a forgiving master.
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&
nbsp; Funday
Longlegs are funny things. They have a place where they take their fur off just to wash. They don't use a paw like I do but have water thrown over them like we do if we sing outside too loudly in the dark time. That seems to be the time that Longlegs decide we need to wash like they do.
Anyway, the clearway to my Longlegs washing place was open, and I like to look around in case there are scuttling things about. I walked in and on the side of their oasis was a little box of those things I see my 'The Her' use sometimes. Funny little sticks with what looks like softwhite on the ends. I like to be sure of things so it was only right that I checked. I reached up and pulled the little box , it jumped off and fell to the floor where the top came off. Lo and behold some of the little sticks jumped out at me. I pounced. I rolled around with one and fought it until the softwhite started to come off. I was right about what it was, but this was fun. I fought until it had all come off and it seemed to be spread all across the floor. There was more on than I thought.
Just to be sure it wasn't the only one like that I picked a few up in my mouth and headed for another place where it was warmer. In the place with no small clearways between the sleeping places of my Longlegs I fought a few more battles. Each one was fun but soon I had no more sticks left and I was bored. The floor was covered in the softwhite where I had fought so hard, it looked like the outside floor sometimes looks during the long dark times when it is very cold. But it did not chill my paws like that does.
There was a small clearway open and I wandered towards it when I noticed my 'The Him' coming towards me. Naturally I veered in his direction to rub myself up against him so other superiors like me would know he was mine. He can be so clumsy I'm not always sure I should claim him so openly. Anyway, I decided to be nice and prepared to rub when he tripped over me and landed in the soft white. Just as well I'd placed it there obviously in case he fell. I turned to give him a loving head-butt to let him know I forgave the trip when I heard him take in breath like he does before a roar. It was time I wasn't here. I ran for the clearway and was almost outside when I heard my name being called in a huge voice, "Oscar, what the he..?"
I spent a delightful time under the Longlegs chariot watching the world go by. I saw Smokey walk past Ginger with her nose and tail in the air, I saw a yappy thing go past pulled on a rope behind a Longlegs, they do not have trust like us to run free. Finally it was time to eat and I could stay here no longer. I got up and walked back to the clearway and jumped up and in. I'm very athletic.
The softwhite had gone, I guess my 'The Him' had taken it to play with now. I wandered towards my food dish and enjoyed a meal then decided to see if he had stopped roaring now. I found both my Longlegs in their sitting place. I started to walk past 'The Him' but he brought a hand down automatically so I sidled up to let him stroke me. As I walked through his open paw to let the claws run down my back I saw his paw becoming black. It must be something on my back from where I was under the chariot. I decided to say nothing and instead moved over to where 'The Her' was sitting. I heard her make the funny hiccups and she held out a paw to stop me jumping on her knee. "Oh no you don't " she said,"You're for a bath." And before I could stop her she scooped me up and took me to the place of washing where she dropped me in a deep place and rained water on me. I wasn't even singing. Then she put something on me which turned the water to slimy bubbles and rubbed my back. Into the room came 'The Him' with black marks from where he had rubbed his head and started to was his paw in the water raining down on me. I heard him say he didn't understand what had happened and saw my 'The her' point to his face. He looked in the mirror and screamed quietly, but like a brave warrior used some of the water to wash his face. 'The Her' finished with me and turned the water flow off. She wrapped me in something so I couldn't run, it was soft, just like the softwhite I had played with. Then she placed me on her knee and rubbed me. "Ah, that's better" I thought, knowing that I was being treated as I deserved. It must have been by way of apology for raining water on me. 'The Him' sat down but his glance at me said he didn't feel like stroking me and so I put my nose in the air to show I was too superior for it to matter. I knew he'd change his mind later as stroking me always seemed to make him feel good.
Such funny things are Longlegs.
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If it’s Tuesday it Must be Fish
It was quite late in the light when I roused from a nap and sensed something in the air. Not very much can happen without a superior knowing about it. I left the 'The Her’s' sleeping place and went through the open clearway my Longlegs had left before they went out. The other Longlegs was in the place of making food where strange high noises were coming from her mouth.
It did not take me long to walk to the village and the closer I got the more the sense became a strong smell, and the more the smell came the wetter my mouth became until I had to lick the drool from my lips. But I could not stop to wash now as it was so close.
The big hard drink smell home appeared. I have heard words like Fursty Ferret used about this place but I have never yet seen a ferret here.
The main clearways were all shut to me but as I walked round the building I saw a small one was open. It was a tall leap but moments later I was up and through.
And there it was. In the room where I have seen all the Longlegs drinking as they do from their hand dishes, a long table laden with food. And in the centre a dish with a large salmon fish.
There were no Longlegs here in this room but I could tell there were some close and could hear the clatter of their dishes being piled together. This feast must be for something special, but maybe it is for us superiors and if so I am lucky to be the first to arrive. It was kind but no more than our due. However, I do not care for eating in public and so chose to take my share there and then. Taking the tail of the salmon fish firmly in my jaws I pulled and it slid beautifully off the table. It took all my strength to jump to the clearway with it dangling behind me, and through again to the light. The salmon fish firmly held between my jaws and trailing between my legs I struggled to reach home again. Back through my own clearway without meeting any of the other superiors , especially Ginger, I took a place beneath the sleeping place of my '''The Her'.
The feast was delicious but I could not finish it all just then. I ate what I could and jumped onto my 'The Hers' sleeping place where I washed myself and settled to doze.
My Longlegs came home a little later as the light was moving away. I stirred myself to rub up against their legs in case anyone else had tried to claim them and then allowed them to stroke me. I purred for a long time. I could see 'The Him' keep lifting his nose to the air and sniffing. Though I don't always know the meaning of the words they use I can hear them. 'The Him' was asking if 'The Her' could smell anything unusual. She shook her head.
Soon I decided it was time to finish my feast and after doing so I was back on the sleeping place keeping myself clean when 'The Her' entered later ready to lie down to sleep. As it was cold to her without a good skin she closed my clearway and settled. It was not long before 'The Him' was there saying he could smell something. He looked around the room but saw nothing. He ruffled the fur on my head and said "Goodnight".
When the light came again a little I decided it was time for a stroll. There were no clearways open so I went to 'The Him', jumped onto his stomach whereupon there was a strange gasp and I stuck my nose in his ear to wake him. He woke ! It was quite sudden and he sat up so quickly he would have dislodged me had I not managed to grip so well with my claws. As I did so he let out a muffled scream and swung his legs off his sleeping place. I released my grip and landed on the floor where I led the way to the clearway. He opened it and without even the hint of a stroke turned and left to go back to his sleeping place moaning something about "four o'clock."
I jumped back in for a minute and went to rescue the remains of my salmon fish which I easily got outside as only the head remained now. Leaving it where Ginger and the others could find it I
returned home for a little catnap.
As light appeared properly I was disturbed by the sound of voices. My Longlegs were at the large clearway talking to some other Longlegs whom I recognised from the village. The visitors were telling my Longlegs how there had been a party for Mellors, the Longlegs from the garden, in the dark time but that the centrepiece (?) of the display had been taken. This morning they had found the thief still eating it, "a mangy ginger thing" they said, " right down to the head it was eaten."
They had chased him.
As I said I don't understand a lot of what the Longlegs say, they talk so fast too. I lost interest and went for a stroll. I found Ginger under the chariot . He was trying to sound relaxed but I could sense a problem and he finally admitted that some Longlegs had chased him. They are strange beings who do that to a superior and I don't understand them.
I went home and as I entered the clearway I could see 'The Him' walking round with one of those hissing tins in his paw spraying everywhere. I heard him call to 'The Her', "I can still smell fish but I can't find where it's coming from now." I know the word fish but did not show interest as I had eaten fish and didn't want more. Instead I walked through to 'The Her' for a stroke because I am kind. On the chair where 'The Him' sits was a plate. It had one of those funny things with pieces of bread around something. I looked and there was ham, my second favourite meal. I tugged at a corner and the ham slid away from the bread. I took it under the table and was enjoying it when my 'The Him' returned. He picked up his plate, sat down and took a bite. "You forgot to put anything in my sandwich " he said.
Memoirs of a Superior Page 2