“Brother, you need to rest. You also need to get your head on straight right the fuck now. I know you care about her. I do, too. She’s going to be fine. You and I need to talk, and for fuck's sake, listen to me.” Heat sears down my throat, spreading through my chest and striking me like the tip of a whip to my heart. It burns. The pain is coiling through my chest. Christ, does it hurt my eyes remembering what happened and not being able to do anything about it.
When I told her it wasn’t a good idea for her to go to work, I sure as hell didn’t expect something as horrendous as this to happen.
I take a few deep breaths before speaking. My mind isn’t focused on trying to do damage control; the damage is already done. Images of the frantic expression on Joslyn’s face skim my mind. She was scared and screaming my name, and they held me back as if frightening her was their plan all along. I believe with all I am that half of them were not paparazzi. They know better than to touch a man or a woman like that. They can taunt, tease, and ridicule until you break, but touching? Not a chance in hell. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they were a part of Gwen’s little posse of morbid fans she paid off to try and scare Joslyn.
In a matter of hours, some freelance photographer had Joslyn’s picture on the web. Poised and played out in a different light than what really happened. Claimed she tripped and fell while trying to get out of my vehicle. Lying motherfuckers who claim to be professionals in a business that is so distorted are as unprofessional as can be. They all hate each other about as much as I hate them, but in the end, not one of them will tell the truth about a woman being tossed to the ground and trampled on. They’ll lie through their Goddamn teeth to save the face of the bastard I saw on top of her if they had the chance. The one fucker I’m making my life’s mission to find. Not a chance in hell he’ll escape a beatdown from threatening her. I’ll trap him in a dark alley and beat him senseless.
“Not sure what you want me to do. If you want to talk about pressing charges, it isn’t our call, Marcus. It’s hers. She’s already told us she doesn’t want to. You were there when she told her boss she wasn’t. She’ll put it behind her and pretend like it never happened,” I snap. My chest is tightening with every breath I take. A loud rumble emerges from my gut. Tension fills my already clotted veins. Marcus is doing his job. He wants to protect us from this, but I’ll be damned if it’s at her expense.
I sigh into the phone, knowing full well he isn’t only thinking of me. That’s the thing about this family of mine. We may all have our own vices, our own issues, but not one of us condones violence toward a woman of any kind. Been through that shit with Miles and his sister when we first met, and this is eating away at all of us the same way the situation with Dean did. Right now, I feel as if fate has grabbed me by the balls and is squeezing hard until I either suffer through the pain like a man or fall to my knees and give up.
Gave up on Joslyn and me once, and just like her, I’m not about to do it again. If she doesn’t want to go to the cops, the choice is hers. Don’t mean I’m not going to continue doing some digging around on my own, and if I find out for sure Gwen had anything to do with this, I’m not certain what I’ll do. Whatever it is, it won’t be pretty. I'll make her suffer right where it hurts the most. Her reputation.
“Not talking about involving the cops. Just need to make sure you aren’t going to go off the path and do something stupid like beat the shit out of your ex.” I chuckle as I slide my eyes over the faint fingerprints on Joslyn’s upper arm. My other fist clenches at my side. Uncontrolled anger is rippling through me. I can’t stop the emotional storm coming at me full force even if I wanted to. The damn thing is pulling me into its vortex, thrusting me out and drawing me back in again with each violent crack to my heart.
I called Marcus the minute I pulled away from the curb the other day. He called Dean, Joslyn’s boss, her secretary, and Caroline. The five of them were waiting here when I pulled into my drive. About broke my heart into a million pieces when I accidentally placed my hand on those bruises while trying to help her out of the vehicle and she winced out in pain. Tears started streaming down her face, and she was thrashing in my arms. If I didn’t have my arms around her, she would have taken another dive to the ground. That’s how out of it she was.
“Don’t have the proof we need she’s behind this. You’ll have to bury me before I give in on finding it. Know it’s her. She’s out to destroy us both, while Joslyn’s protecting me by not going to the police,” I whisper when I notice Joslyn stir. Her beautiful blues pop open as she blinks them into focus.
“You might want to tell whoever is on the phone that they better hurry up and get here to protect you from me if you don’t stop hovering over me. I’m a little banged up, not broken, and don’t you dare go after anyone. Let it go, Roman. She’s not worth it, remember?” Fuck all if I don’t want to kiss her feisty little mouth right now. Especially when she raises a brow to challenge me.
“She’s not, but you are,” I mouth, run my hand down the side of her face, and cup her jaw.
I study the rise and fall of her chest. My fury from not being able to protect her unleashes a torrent inside of me. I’ve barely slept at all. Instead, I’ve been willingly waiting on her hand and foot. Setting things up with Grim and trying to track down Gwen without having to go to her apartment and cause more shit to stir in the pot she keeps adding to.
I ended up putting my own set of rules down yesterday when I heard her on the phone talking to her boss, telling him she was feeling better and then turning around informing him she wanted to come back to work. I stood in front of her shaking my head as I glared down in anger. When she locked her eyes onto mine, seeing her pained expression nearly knocked me to my knees and regret twisted its way through my stomach.
That look hasn’t left her completely since she found out about her brother. It’s quickly becoming a permanent fixture on her face. It didn’t stop me from doing what I felt was right. I snatched the phone right out of her hand when she ignored me, asked to be transferred to her secretary, and then proceeded to ask him to send the files over she needs. I told him she will not be working for a few days and to leave her cases with whoever had taken them over. She snatched the phone right back, reminded him she was his boss and to do what she said. All hell broke loose after that, and it’s about to rain down in a torrential downpour the minute I hang up this phone.
I have a nagging notion she’s going to fight worse than before by the way she’s looking at me right now as she jerks away from my touch. She’s angry, and I get it. I am, too. I’m way past the point of no return. She wants to leave, and I’ll be Goddamned if I won’t do what I have to do to set reason into her thick skull that she needs to stay here with me. It isn’t going to do me any good, though. I can see the word ‘no’ ready to filter out of her stubborn little mouth. Son of a bitch.
“I’m not going to do anything. Not now anyway. That’s the only guarantee you’re getting from me.” Anger mixed with a powerless trip of disgust collide head-on. Gwen knows the only way she can hurt me is by striking out at Joslyn. She’s done a damn good job at doing it. I’ll be damned if she sneaks up on us again.
“Alright, man. Keep your chin up. Let me know if you need anything.” I exhale, slide the power off on my phone, and climb off the bed when Joslyn gets up. Her wrinkled T-shirt crawling up her stomach shows the slight bruise where someone elbowed her.
Can hardly stomach seeing them anymore. It might do some good for her to go home in order for me to get my head in this game Gwen has challenged me to play. The bottom line is, I can go rounds with Gwen and enjoy pummeling the life out of her with words. Joslyn, not so much.
“You aren’t going home,” I clip, changing my mind and crossing my arms over my chest.
“I am. You and I will have problems if you try and stop me, Roman. I’m a big girl. I’ve lived on my own for years. I don’t need you telling me what I can and can't do.” Jesus fucking Christ. I can’t get her to bend no mat
ter what I try to do. Arguing with her again when we had been doing it the morning this happened is enough for me to give in to her without putting up a fight and calling more bullshit on her lying. She is hurting on the inside. All I want is for her to be happy and healthy. Physically and emotionally, and that right there is my problem. I don’t enjoy seeing her hurting at all, nor do I care to hear how she’s managed on her own. Reasoning with her is out of the question.
“It’s going to cost you some privacy, and that is non-negotiable.” I grab a T-shirt from my dresser, pull it over my head, and smirk when her eyes trail the length of my stomach.
She rounds the bed. Angry eyes stalk toward me and get within a few inches of my face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I stare down at her, softening my eyes. Not going to be the type of man to try and take charge of her life. I’m the one who taught her not to let anyone push her around. That includes me. I hush her from saying anything more by placing a finger over her lips.
“I was set to fight with you on this. I’m not going to. I care too much about you to continue pushing you to do something you don’t want to do. I want you here, with me. I also want you safe, happy, and healthy. You, though, need to get back in the courtroom and argue in there instead of with me. You’ve been accosted twice, Joslyn. Both times happened because of me. This time you were hurt. I told you it broke me in half not being able to get to you. You were threatened. Your name is being exploited, and I won’t let it happen a third time. You're getting a bodyguard. I trust him. End of subject.” She steps into me but doesn’t say a word, wraps her arms around my neck, her lips curving into a smile. God, I can’t help but want to touch her. I take her in my arms gently. Her eyes are as forgiving as they are blue.
I trace her soft lips with my finger, a surge of desire pulsing through me when she draws it into her mouth and scrapes her teeth lightly down to my knuckle, her tongue jutting out to take in more. Watching her do that has my cock twitching. I’m not going there with her today. No sexual advances, not when this conversation needs to stay on the path it’s meant to go. I pull my finger out even though I’d love nothing more than to watch her taunt me with her tongue.
“After you got out of the shower the day after this nightmare happened, I helped you down the stairs. I asked you to forgive me. You said there was nothing for you to forgive me for. It’s bullshit, and you know it. What happened might not be directly my fault; doesn’t mean guilt isn’t chomping away at me a piece at a time. I’m a controlling man, and giving in to you like this is hard for me. I wouldn’t expect you to ask me to walk away from my fans, so how can I continue asking you to walk away from your clients? There’s one thing I won’t give in about, though, and that’s protecting you whether you're with me or not. I can’t begin to understand what’s going through your head. You’ve endured more than one person should have to in a short period of time. You go home, go to work, and if you leave your apartment at any time and if it’s not with me, then my man, Grim, will be by your side. You try and ditch him for anything other than work, and your ass is right back here. There won’t be any negotiating if that happens.” I jerk my head back and stare into her eyes with a hard glare.
She sighs. “Roman. We both need time to soak this all in. You can’t stand here and blame this on you and not expect a rebuttal out of me. I don’t blame you. I blame the people who did this. If you think Gwen and a hired hand is behind this, then I blame them, too. Never you. I blamed myself for not listening to you when it’s not my fault either. We have to stop. I’m not going to let her win. You take care of what you need to do, and I’ll take care of what I have to do. This has delayed us long enough. You’ve been helping me for days, while Dean took care of business with your studio. You’ve pushed back your life by rescheduling a press conference, and God knows what else. We are going to live like normal people. Fuck the rest who try and stop us. Every minute I stay cooped up is another minute away from my brother. I’m not sacrificing my time with him for her or anyone else anymore. She can go to hell and suffer there, for all I care. They can carry on talking about me. You and I, though, we have to remain solid and figure out where we go from here. I don’t like the idea of having someone follow me around. For you, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to get you to stop worrying about me.” I could give her all the excuses in the world why this is my fault. None of them matter when she’s gazing up at me with so much pain I can hardly see the blues in her eyes anymore. Fuck, I do not want her to go, and yet I know she needs to. For her own well-being.
“I might be giving you the space you need, but at this moment right here, I do not promise you a thing except I will never allow anyone to touch you in a way you don’t want them to again. If they try, they will lose fingers. You and I are solid. Getting stronger every day. You need to know that you can’t take my guilt away from me any more than I can take away your pain. It seems to me we had a conversation about this where the roles were reversed.”
I watch with nothing but the utmost respect for her when the pain in her eyes is replaced with gratitude. However, when the most astonishing smile I’ve ever seen on her since the minute she strolled back into my life spreads across her mouth and touches her eyes, it brightens up the dark cloud that’s been hanging over our heads for the past few weeks. Hell, the past decade for me. This smile is all mine. It crashes right into my heart and lodges itself there. I’m holding it close.
She steps in closer, gets up on her tiptoes, her breasts mashing against my chest, hands palming my face, and places her soft lips on mine. I inhale her air, her breath, and her scent. I’ll miss having her in my arms at night and talking about anything and nothing at all during the day. Watching her parade around my house as if she’s been doing it the entire time I’ve lived here.
“It’s not like we aren’t going to see each other. You won’t be able to go a day without talking to me.” She’s got that right.
“One day is too long. Don’t be surprised if I’m popping into your office several times.” I’m joking, of course. However, when her eyes flutter closed and reopen, I swear I see more love than I’ve seen in her eyes in all the years we were together. I nearly drop to my knees and confess mine back over it.
Can’t help but grow hard when she swipes her tongue across the seam of my lips. I want to devour every fucking inch of her, and I will when the time is right. I want her head focused on the two of us when we do. “Christ, you didn’t even put up a fight. Might have to second-guess hiring you on,” I tease. She tries taking her slow-ass time savoring my mouth when she knows better. I don’t do slow unless it’s directed by me.
I sink my teeth into her bottom lip. Swipe my tongue over the spot. Growing harder when she moans into my mouth. Her tongue skims out, and I am a fucking goner. I consume her mouth. Every part of it. Teeth are clashing. I take complete control. Swallowing those whimpers and digging deep not to toss her on the bed.
Her touch on my face is burning my skin like a hot, angry piece of coal. I can’t wait to have her up against me, skin to skin, and take my time exploring.
Hell, I can’t wait for this storm that seems to surround us to be over for good. Then, and only then, will I be able to live my life fully. With her.
Chapter 11
Roman
“Damn, I miss her already,” I grumble, take one last look at the picture I’ve finally pulled out to frame, and set it on the counter. My brows furrow when I hear keys jiggling in my door. I flex my jaw, anticipation spiraling from my gut to my mouth as I get ready to lash out and shove my threats down the throat of the person who walks through my door. I can smell the treacherous bitch from here. She’s got some nerve. The woman has no idea what’s in store for her.
“Get the fuck out of my house before I decide to call the cops.”
It took all the control I had the day our divorce was final not to knock the smug look she wore clear off her face with the back of my hand. She and the new lawyer she strolled in with sat in
the courtroom with arrogance, claiming they needed to go over the papers one last time before they finally agreed to the terms of the divorce. Her lawyer requested a short recess, stating Gwen was a new client and they hadn’t had time to prepare fully in case they needed to reconsider. A recess was denied.
The judge told her anything she wanted to bring up should have been done before she showed up. We were there to sign papers in front of him, whether she liked it or not.
Could have sworn all the shit in there was agreed upon beforehand, but they had to push the envelope as far as they could go. Stalling in hopes they’d have me squirming in my seat. Fat fucking chance of that ever happening. I wanted to throttle her then. I want to slay her now.
Gwen's eyes were swollen and puffy, fingers shaking when she finally signed the papers. I tore out of there like a bat out of hell the minute the judge sealed our divorce with his stamp.
Ignoring the pleas of the media who would have danced naked for one word if I’d asked them to until the punk went and opened his mouth about Joslyn, and now this bitch has gone and taken me from feeling peace flow through my veins from her being out of my life to fucking untamed. I’d love nothing more than to put a bullet through her skull. Crazy bitch.
And clearly, she can’t hear either, because she slams the door, marches right in, and frowns at me from the threshold leading into the living room. Her perfectly sculpted brows are practically drawn together as she stares at the pictures of Joslyn all over the table.
“This is my house. Private property. You need to leave your fucking key and the remote to the gate and get the hell out of here. I told you before. Do not fuck with me, Gwen, and you did. Those lies you’re spreading about us are going to come back and slice you open. Either you climb back into your car and leave, or so help me God, I’ll throw you out of here myself.” I’m not ready to play my hand with her yet. She needs to be taunted. A little bit of fear placed in her. I want her shaking, her mind wondering what the hell I know and what the hell I’m going to do to her until I feel the time is right to take the knife she’s shoved in my back and gut her with it.
The Right Direction Page 10