Moonbeam didn’t protest this time. He lifted his feet high as if he meant business. The clinic was ahead, just down the next state road.
“What are you going to do about Ivan’s trouble with the bishop?” Ronda asked.
“I don’t know,” Ella said. “But I hope it’s not too serious.”
“What if he’s put in the ban? I keep thinking about that. You know you won’t be able to see him.”
“I don’t see how it can come to that, but if it does, I’ll still take care of his girls,” Ella replied.
“I suppose so,” Ronda said, clearly worried. “I guess we’re still allowed to do good to excommunicated people. No one will object to that. But you can’t eat with him or take supper over like you did before.”
Ella shivered. “I can take meals over and leave the food there.”
“Just don’t stay, Ella. I don’t even think you should go inside the house. You can give him the food through the door. You don’t want someone going past on the road and seeing you go inside. Bishop Miller would have you in the ban by the next Sunday.”
Ronda shivered and Ella noticed.
“It won’t happen. I already told you that,” Ella said.
“I sure hope not,” Ronda stated. “That would be too hard on my heart. If you got excommunicated, we would have to move out of your house, and I couldn’t come down to quilt with you.”
Ella responded with a laugh, feeling light as a feather—almost giddy. “Don’t worry!” she said. “I won’t get excommunicated.”
“It’s good to hear you say that. You’re such a loyal person, and I can just see you going down with Ivan. But you shouldn’t, Ella. I know you like him and the girls. But there is a limit to these things.”
They had arrived at the clinic, and Ella pulled up to the hitching post. She climbed down and tied the horse to the post. She walked over and reached up to take baby Barbara from Ronda’s arms. Ronda took her time stepping down, balancing carefully on the buggy step. The girls climbed out, and everyone walked slowly up the shoveled walk, keeping pace with Ronda.
Ella held the door open, and they entered the lobby area where the receptionist was waiting with a smile. When Ronda explained about the bleeding, a nurse was summoned and Ronda was taken immediately to an examination room.
Ella and the girls settled on chairs and took off their coats, but they only had a short wait before Ronda reappeared. She paid the receptionist and then walked over to Ella. After getting the children ready to go back outside, they walked out. On the way to the buggy, Ronda whispered, “The doctor said I’ll be okay. He gave me something that should stop the bleeding”
“That’s a relief,” Ella said, lifting the two oldest girls into the buggy. Ronda handed Ella baby Barbara and managed to climb in by herself. Ella handed her the baby, unhitched Moonbeam, climbed into the buggy, and they headed home. They said little on the way.
Arriving home, Ronda went upstairs and then let Ella know that her mamm had left a note saying she would return for a visit tomorrow.
After she left Ella remembered Ronda’s fears about Ivan being excommunicated. Was Ronda only giving in to her imaginations, or was there cause for concern? Surely not, even though the same thoughts had troubled her earlier. Bishop Miller might wish to break up their relationship, but Ivan hadn’t done anything to justify such strong measures.
Twenty-seven
The morning finally arrived that Ella had been waiting for—an unseasonably warm day for winter, with a warm southern breeze and no clouds in the sky. The snow had started to melt, creating small streams of water here and there in the yard.
The change in weather offered the perfect opportunity to visit her mamm. She had much to share. There were, of course, Ivan’s problems with Bishop Miller and Ronda’s slow recovery from the loss of her baby. She knew she would not share her feelings about that Englisha man, Robert Hayes. Still, she hoped her mamm’s calm voice and the steady hand her daett always supplied would help make sense out of the swirl of life around her.
A deeper reason though was Eli. She wanted to hear news about him. How was he doing in the Englisha world?
That her mamm and daett wouldn’t approve of contact with Eli was a given, but it was disapproval without a bite. No one would punish her for contacting Eli. They might talk, but that was all. Perhaps her mamm would even agree to tell her where Eli lived in town.
She quickly cleaned up the breakfast dishes and announced to the girls, “We’re going to my mamm’s today. You think you’re up to a little drive?”
“Yah,” Mary said, her face lighting up. Beside her Sarah nodded vigorously.
“Do you think you can watch the baby while I get the horse ready?” Ella asked.
Both heads went up and down rapidly.
“We want a buggy ride!” Mary said.
“A fast one!” Sarah added.
“I doubt if you’ll get that,” Ella said with a laugh. We’ll let your daett give you the fast rides. Give Barbara something to play with if she cries.”
Ella went up the basement steps and out into the welcomed sunshine. She turned and walked up the porch steps to say hello to Ronda.
“Yoo hoo!” Ella called into the living room before walking in. Ronda glanced up from the kitchen sink, a weary smile on her face.
“How are you?” Ella asked.
“Okay,” Ronda said, laying the washcloth over the sink edge and sitting down at the kitchen table. “I tire faster, but that’s about all.”
“Are you sure?” Ella asked. “You look a bit poorly.”
“Well, I haven’t had any more blood loss, so I think I’m just slow getting back to normal. Joe will take the day off to drive me to my next appointment, so don’t worry about that. He’s such a dear. He’s already talking of our next child, even in the middle of my fears.”
Ella nodded, a bit envious. It must feel gut to have a man comfort you in the day of trouble.
“I feel so safe with him,” Ronda continued. “Wrapped up in his arms at night. It makes one think the world truly will be all right again. Oh Ella, you have to marry quickly. I feel so bad for you, for what you’re missing.”
“I don’t think all men are quite like what you have in Joe,” Ella said with a touch of sadness. Then she brightened for Ronda’s sake and said, “Well, I really have to go. I want to visit Mamm today.”
Ronda must have picked up on the sadness in Ella’s voice. “You mustn’t be bitter,” she said, taking Ella’s hand. “Ivan will come out of this all right. I shouldn’t have allowed my fears to run away like I did. He can take care of himself. And I think you’re right to visit your mamm. Perhaps she can help. That’s what mamms are for. And if you want me to take care of the girls today, I can. You’ve done so much for me.”
Ella shook her head. “Thanks anyway. The girls need to get out of the house as much as I do. It bothers me how we’ve been so cooped up lately.”
“They don’t look the worse for wear,” Ronda said, letting go of Ella’s hand. “You don’t give yourself near enough credit for all the good work you do with them…and for others.”
“Well, I hope Mamm can help me.” Ella sighed. “I sure feel like I could use some help. The load gets heavy at times.”
Ronda smiled. “You do have a lot of male activity downstairs. They were running up and down the steps as thick as fleas the other day.”
Ella burst into laughter. “I suppose that did produce quite a sight. It wasn’t my fault though.”
“It’ll work out,” Ronda said. “I’m sure it will.”
“I guess we all have our troubles to bear,” Ella said. “They just look worse when they’re ours.” She gave Ronda a quick hug and turned to go to the barn. As she stepped out into the sunlight, she stopped for a moment to savor the feel of the day, then continued on into the barn where Moonbeam greeted her with a loud snort.
“You’re a good boy,” Ella told him, stroking his nose as he worked his jaws and anticipated some oats.
“Not now.” She slipped his bridle on. “Perhaps you can have some oats when we come back. If you’re a good boy.”
It would be nice if men were like this. A little oats dumped in their feed box—and contentment was the result. Instead men were mostly uncontrollable. She shivered, longing for warm arms to wrap around her tightly, for strength that exceeded her own, for love that never died. Was such a thing to be found?
“You wouldn’t know,” she said, when the horse nuzzled her, breaking in on her thoughts. “Now get ready for a good long run. We’re going to visit Mamm today.”
The horse stood patiently while Ella threw the harness on. She led him outside. When she had secured the buggy tugs, she tied him to the hitching post and went inside for the girls.
“You were gone a long time,” Mary said when Ella came through the basement door.
“I talked to Ronda too,” Ella said. “And then I got the horse ready. Now you girls get your coats. It’s warm out, but not warm enough for no coats.” She got baby Barbara ready. They went outside, Mary and Sarah running ahead of her and the baby.
“Careful!” Ella called. “The melting snow makes things slippery.” She held her breath as the two raced for the buggy. She could see one or both sprawling on the wet snow, breaking a leg or an arm, all because she hadn’t thought to walk them to the buggy.
She sure was jittery, but then there were reasons for it. Still, she needed to be careful that she allowed the girls their fun. Perhaps they would have to come outside more often, especially if the weather cooperated.
When the two arrived safely at the buggy, she sighed with relief and made her way carefully to the buggy step. She lifted baby Barbara inside, and turned to help Mary and Sarah. Grabbing Mary’s hand, she pulled upward while Mary stretched her legs and then jumped off the step, giggling as she landed inside.
“I want to do that!” Sarah insisted.
“Not yet,” Ella said. “You’re still a little small.”
“But I want to.”
“We can’t always do what we want,” Ella replied, lifting Sarah by the armpits and settling her inside.
Ella climbed in, slapped the reins against Moonbeam’s back, and said, “We’re off!”
“We’re off!” Mary echoed.
“Off!” Sarah agreed, smiling from ear to ear.
Twenty-eight
Ella drove south, allowing the horse its head. There was no need to urge him on this morning. He apparently wanted to stretch his legs. The girls sat quietly, enjoying the ride. Even baby Barbara seemed content to watch the passing countryside. Ella drove on, looking forward to the comfort of her mamm and the gentle smile and wisdom of her daett. So often she had taken these things for granted while growing up, but now she saw through different eyes.
At the stop sign, Ella turned right, driving down through the creek. Nothing looked quite the same, and she was glad. Last spring the pain of Aden’s passing had still been with her. Hopefully this year the wounds would have healed more. Still, this was where they had often come. It would always hold memories of the warm air and being in Aden’s arms, of his hand in hers, of the smell of fresh flowers, of the sound of the rippling water. These would forever touch a tender spot in her memory. Here she and Aden had spent some of their happiest hours together.
The road soon diverged up and out of the riverbed. The view of the world opened up before her. The great stretch was white with snow but still beautiful. Here one could see the sweep of the valley below Seager Hill rising up and up until it reached the houses along the ridge. Ella drew in her breath sharply at the sight.
“Are you sad?” Mary asked, noticing the tears on Ella’s check. The girl’s face turned up to her from her seat on the buggy floor.
Ella wiped away the tears. “Nee, just happy. Sometimes tears are from being happy, not sad. Don’t worry, dumpling.”
Mary looked at her as if wondering if such a thing were possible.
Ella laughed, surprised at how easily the sound bubbled up inside her. Oh yes, this would be a good day. The closer she got to home, the more distant her problems seemed.
Moonbeam walked up the last few hundred feet of the long grade, and Ella didn’t urge him on. Not only wasn’t she in a hurry, but the schoolhouse lay on her left, bringing back school-day memories. She gazed into the yard. The children were inside at the moment, the little school door shut securely.
“You’ll be going to school soon,” she said to Mary.
“What’s school?” Mary asked, looking up.
“There,” Ella said, pointing. “The place with the bell on top. That’s where they teach you to read and write.”
“I will come here?” Mary asked, craning her neck to see.
“No,” Ella said. “Not to this school. There’s one closer to where you live, and you’ll go there.”
“Is it fun?”
“Most of the time,” Ella said, remembering. “The teachers are nice, but you have to learn a lot of things…like numbers, words in books, and how to spell.”
“I like books,” Mary said. Sarah nodded from her place on the buggy seat.
“You’ll both do well, I’m sure. You’re smart little girls.”
Mary glowed.
“Will I go with Mary?” Sarah asked.
“Nee,” Ella said.
Sarah’s face clouded over.
“You have to be six to go to school,” Ella explained.
“Then I want to be six.”
“You’ll be six someday,” Ella said, stroking her hair back from her face.
Ella pulled on the reins, turning Moonbeam left into the driveway and up the lane. When she reached the hitching rack, Ella climbed down and tied up the horse. Then she helped Mary and Sarah down. Behind her she heard the front door burst open. She looked toward the house to see Clara come out at a run.
Ella met her sister with open arms. They clung to each other for many moments. “It’s so good to see you,” Ella finally whispered. “It seems so long.”
“Yah!” Clara sniffled.
“Are Mamm and Dora here?”
“They’re inside,” Clara said. “But I wanted to see you first.”
There was something in Clara’s voice that concerned Ella. She reached into the buggy for the baby and, hoping she was wrong, asked, “Anything wrong, Clara?”
Clara stared at the ground. “I can’t do any more drawing.”
“You can’t do what? No drawing? Who said so?”
“Mamm and Daett said so earlier this week. I still have five drawings for you to see that I’ve already done, but I can’t do any more.”
Ella pulled Clara tightly against her. “How has this happened?” Thoughts raced through her mind. Did one of the ministers in their district cause the problem? Has someone complained? Perhaps Clara’s schoolteacher, Katie, has spoken against the drawings.
“They won’t tell me why,” Clara said, tears running down her cheeks.
What has gotten into Mamm and Daett, Ella wondered. She was almost afraid to know the answer, but she said, “I’ll talk to them. Perhaps there’s something that can be done.”
“I don’t think so,” Clara said, blowing her nose. “They have their minds made up.” She tried to smile through her tears as she took Mary and Sarah by the hand.
They all started toward the house.
Surely this is all just a simple misunderstanding, Ella thought.
When they entered the house, Dora met Ella with a quick hug and took baby Barbara from her. Nothing was said, but Dora didn’t need to. Her look said serious discussions were going on.
With care Ella approached the familiar kitchen door. A thousand times she had passed here in her childhood. Through this door had come news of Aden’s death. Ella trembled now with the sudden conviction that dire news once again lay on the other side.
“Hi, Mamm,” she said as she entered the kitchen.
“Hi, Ella!” As if reading her daughter’s mind, Lizzie continued, “I thought i
t best if Clara told you about the drawing issue. It has been a hard decision for all of us.”
Ella sat down at the kitchen table. She could hear Dora and Clara entertaining the three girls in the living room.
“What happened?” Ella ventured.
“It might be best if your daett told you,” Mamm said. “He’ll be comin’ in about now. We were hoping to see you soon. If you hadn’t come over today, we might have visited you on Sunday.”
Ella nodded and looked up when her daett came in. Her heart felt as heavy as lead. There was clearly more coming than a discussion of Clara’s drawings.
Noah nodded when he entered, glancing at his wife and then holding out his hand toward Ella.
Ella was sure she would burst into tears. Why is my own daett wanting to shake my hand? Am I a stranger now who needs to be greeted with formality? His grip was firm, but nonetheless seemed cool.
“I’m glad you came today.” Noah pulled out his chair. He rested his elbows on the table, his long familiar beard almost brushing the top of his arms.
Ella waited, her eyes on her daett’s face.
“We’ve heard about Ivan’s troubles,” Noah said, his eyes meeting hers. “We are very sorry about the news.”
“What have you heard?” Ella asked, her voice strained. Is this Bishop Miller’s doing? Has he reached my own parents and turned them against my future husband?
“The news has come from your district’s bishop,” Noah said, his voice low. “Bishop Hochstetler made a trip over to see us last week. He thought it best that way. He was hesitant to approach you directly.”
“This is not right! Ivan told me the reasons Bishop Miller approached him. Ivan has questions about tobacco use due to some Amish articles he’s read. Why is that so much cause for alarm?”
“It’s more than that, Ella. I guess it’s normal in these types of cases, I s’pose,” Noah said, his voice losing none of its seriousness, “that the guilty one does not confess everything. It sorrows my heart that Ivan didn’t tell you all. I always thought highly of the man, but the bishop said Ivan has never been the same since Lois died. Some men are like that; they take death very hard. But even so, that’s no excuse for his actions—actions that may lead to excommunication.”
Ella Finds Love Again (Little Valley 3) Page 17