“No, I didn’t. She did have her cell phone. She did call me. She got home safe and sound. All in all, she behaved perfectly logically and responsibly.”
“You mean other than letting the stupid kayak drift off in the first place,” Connor said, still not pacified.
“It could have happened to anyone,” Will insisted. “Do I need to remind you of the time we got stranded over at Jessup’s Point because your boat got stuck on a sand bar? I believe it was the Coast Guard that finally tracked us down.”
“We were fifteen,” Connor retorted.
“And had been out on these waters a hundred times and we still screwed up,” Will said. “Stuff happens. It won’t help anyone if you make Jess feel bad for making a mistake. She’s sensitive enough to everyone’s opinion as it is.”
Connor sighed heavily. “I know you’re right. I just worry about her, you know? She doesn’t always think before she acts.”
Will understood Connor’s concern, but he also thought he knew Jess in some ways better than Connor did. “I worry about her, too,” he said. “But here’s the difference between you and me. I trust her to handle whatever problems crop up. You still think she’s that kid who needs her big brothers to bail her out. Jess is an adult.”
“But—”
Will gave him a warning look that silenced whatever he’d been about to say. “Sure, she’s an adult with ADD, but she’s not some basket case who can’t be trusted. Look at all she’s accomplished, Connor. She’s amazing. It’s time the rest of you started seeing her that way and stopped making judgments and rushing to her rescue before she says anything about needing help.”
Connor studied him long and hard. “You really do have it bad, don’t you?”
Will shrugged. “Nothing new about that.”
Connor shook his head. “What is wrong with my sister? Why can’t she see what’s right in front of her face?”
“She will,” Will said. He was increasingly confident of that. The only thing he couldn’t pinpoint with any certainty was the timetable. He just hoped they both lived long enough for it to happen.
Saturday morning had dawned with bright sunshine, a crisp fall breeze and promised to be the kind of day that energized people. Jess helped Connie set up the foundation’s booth displaying books about the Chesapeake Bay and providing information on memberships and donations. There was a large jar for cash donations as well.
Right next door, Connor was helping Heather set up the Cottage Quilts booth with its selection of colorful quilts hanging on three sides and additional quilts showcased on tables. Little Mick was scampering between the booths, hoping someone would read to him or take him to one of the food booths set up across the park.
“Come on, kiddo, I’ll take you,” Jess offered. “Let’s go see what kind of sticky food we can find that’ll make Mommy crazy.”
Heather scowled at her. “Please do not indulge my son with a bunch of junk food.”
Jess grinned. “How about a caramel apple? They’re a little on the gooey side, but there is fruit inside.”
“An interesting spin, but you’ll need to cut it for him, then make sure he washes his hands before he comes back here,” Heather said, then turned to Connor. “Maybe you should go with them.”
Jess feigned a scowl at her sister-in-law. “Did you just insult me? I am perfectly capable of taking care of a toddler for a few minutes.”
Heather laughed. “Not the issue. My kid has you wound around his little finger. There’s no telling what he’s liable to talk you into buying him.”
“That’s an aunt’s privilege,” Jess told her.
“Then you get him when he starts throwing up,” Heather warned. “That’s the rule I apply to Connor, isn’t it?” She gave her husband an affectionate poke in the ribs.
“Sadly, she’s telling the truth,” Connor said. “The kid’s all yours, sis. Just be prepared. Unlike us, he apparently wasn’t blessed with a cast-iron stomach.”
“He’s three,” Jess said. “Give him time.”
She held out her hand and little Mick grabbed it. “Over there, Aunt Jess,” he said, dragging her toward the funnel cake.
“Looks good,” she said at once. “Nothing like a little grease and powdered sugar to start the day.”
They were waiting in line when she looked up and spotted Will heading her way, weaving through the crowd and head and shoulders above many of them. Sometimes she forgot how tall he was, and how petite he’d always made her feel.
“What brings you to the festival?” she called out to him. “I thought you hated this kind of thing.”
“It’s a nice day. I felt like being outdoors, and Connor told me you all were going to be helping out down here. I figured I could lend a hand.”
Little Mick held out his arms, and Will immediately scooped him up. “Hey, buddy, how you doing?”
“Me getting cake,” he said excitedly, gesturing toward the sign over the booth. “And ca’mel apple and ice cream, too.”
Will laughed. “Is that so?” He looked at Jess. “You’re a brave woman.”
“So they tell me. Can I get you anything when I get to the front of the line?”
“Not me. I’ll stick to coffee for now. I think I saw some a couple of booths down.”
Normally Jess avoided caffeine, but she loved coffee. “I don’t suppose they have decaf?” she said wistfully.
“I’ll check,” Will offered at once. “If they don’t, I’ll run across the street. There’s a little café over there that’s open. Why don’t you bring the funnel cake back to the foundation booth and I’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds great,” she said at once.
“Go with Will,” Mick demanded.
Jess looked at Will.
“It’s fine with me,” he said.
“You can carry him and hot coffee?”
“Mick doesn’t need to be carried all the time, do you, buddy? You can hold my hand and walk back like a big boy.”
Mick nodded enthusiastically. “Me a big boy, Aunt Jess.”
Jess watched as the two of them left. Something about the way Will had interacted with her nephew warmed her heart. Mick obviously adored Will, and she hadn’t sensed even a hint of judgment in Will’s tone when it came to the boy. It made her wonder what kind of father Will would be, a thought that gave her pause.
Because thinking of Will in that way was so disconcerting, she focused on the task at hand. She bought the funnel cake, still warm from the grease, and headed back to the booth. As she walked, she broke off a piece and munched it thoughtfully. It might not be healthy, but it sure did taste good. Took her right back to her childhood.
As she approached the booth, Connor caught sight of her and an expression of utter panic crossed his face. He left the booth and sprinted toward her.
“Mind telling me what the devil you’ve done with my son?” he asked, his voice obviously hushed so Heather wouldn’t overhear.
Stunned that her brother could think her so irresponsible that she’d lose track of his son, she scowled right back at him. “Do you honestly think I just walked off and forgot about him?”
“I don’t know what to think. He left with you. He’s nowhere in sight now. It would be just like you to get to talking to somebody or get distracted and lose track of him.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she said, barely containing her anger. The anger was welcome. Otherwise she might have burst into tears. “Mick is with Will. I assume you trust one of your best friends to look out for your son? Oh, look, here they come now, all safe and sound. Be sure Mick gets the funnel cake.” She tossed it at her brother, not caring if he instinctively grabbed it in midair or let it drop to the ground, then whirled around and walked off.
“Jess!”
She ignored Connor and kept walking, not sure where she was going until she found herself by the water, the sounds of the festival fading behind her. She walked along the water’s edge, trying to still the pounding of her heart,
waiting for her tears to dry.
Over the years she’d grown used to the way people, including those in her own family, reacted to some of the decisions she made. If she made a mistake of any kind, it was all too easy to blame it on the ADD.
“Sometimes a screwup is just a screwup,” she muttered, swiping at her tears.
Not that letting Will take little Mick was a screwup. Her nephew was probably safer with him than he would be with her, especially in Connor’s view. Her older brother clearly wasn’t ready to give her any credit for common sense or being responsible, and, dammit, she didn’t deserve his lack of faith.
“You busy beating yourself up for letting me take little Mick?” Will inquired, falling into step beside her.
She frowned up at him. “No, actually I’m berating my brother for having so little confidence in me.”
Will seemed surprised by her response. “Good for you.” He slanted a sideways glance at her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know that.”
“And Connor feels awful for questioning you the way he did,” he added.
“I seriously doubt that. He’s always been very big on jumping to conclusions where I’m concerned. He doesn’t think I have the sense God gave a duck.”
Will chuckled. “But you’ve let him get away with that. You do the same with everyone in your family. You’ve gotten way too comfortable in the niche they’ve put you in, the O’Brien who can’t do anything right. You use the ADD as an excuse as much as they do.”
She whirled on him. “I most certainly do not.”
Will didn’t back down. “Sure you do. It’s easier to fall back on that than to really examine what went wrong in any given situation. I heard you just now, and you’re right. Sometimes a screwup is just that. We all make them, even those of us without attention deficit disorders. After all these years, with all you’ve accomplished, you know that you’ve been able to manage most of the symptoms. Yet you’re very quick to judge yourself when the slightest thing goes wrong.”
Jess sighed. “Okay, sometimes, yes. I guess when you grow up with people not expecting you to get anything right, you stop expecting much of yourself.”
Careful to avoid his intelligent gaze, she said, “But then I do something right, I turn the inn into a real success, and I forget for a while that I even have ADD. You’re right. I manage it. I think that’s why it hurts so much when Connor looks at me the way he did just now, as if I haven’t changed at all.”
Though Will’s expression was sympathetic, he tried to reason with her. “He was just scared, Jess. You can’t blame him for that.”
“He was scared that I’d lost his son,” she said. “Like little Mick was some loaf of bread I’d wander off and leave behind.”
“It was one second of panic,” Will said. “Give him a break. You know Connor loves you. Nobody is prouder of you and your accomplishments than he is.”
She closed her eyes. That’s what made it worse in some ways. She counted on Connor as more than a brother. He was, in many ways, her best friend. His doubts cut right through her.
“I know,” she said softly.
“You ready to go back now?”
“Sure.”
“Good, because we’re missing all the excitement.”
“What excitement?”
“Thomas and Connie dancing around each other like two shy teenagers with their first crushes.”
Jess laughed at the image. “They are a little bit like that, aren’t they?” Then worry kicked in. “You don’t think anyone in the family is going to give them grief over this, do you?”
Will regarded her incredulously. “Of course they will. It’s what O’Briens do. It’s like some rite of passage.”
Jess thought about that and knew it was true. And yet Will, even knowing that, still wanted to be with her. That told her quite a lot about the depth of his feelings.
Back at the foundation booth, Jess spotted her uncle standing next to Connie, his gaze on her as she made a book sale and chatted with a customer. There was a warmth in his eyes that had been absent since the end of his second marriage.
“Look at him,” she said, nudging Will in the side. “He’s really taken with her, isn’t he?”
Will studied the duo, then smiled. “It’s nice to see. Connie deserves to have someone special in her life. She’s been on her own way too long.”
“My uncle doesn’t have the world’s best track record when it comes to women,” Jess fretted. “What if he hurts her?”
Will glanced down at her. “You’re worried about the two of them?”
“A little. I love Uncle Thomas, and Connie’s one of my best friends. I want to see them both happy, but with each other?” She shook her head. “I just don’t know. It’s a little scary.”
Will laughed. “You think all relationships are scary.”
“Don’t you?” she challenged.
“Okay, you have a point, but the only way to have love in your life is to take a leap of faith. Otherwise you’re just sitting on the sidelines while your life passes you by.”
“Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least improve the odds? Isn’t that what Lunch by the Bay is all about? Looking for compatibility is smart, right?”
“Think about it for a minute,” Will said. “Thomas and Connie have a lot of things in common. They’re not a couple of young kids rushing into this impulsively. I’m sure they’ve weighed the pros and cons.”
Jess gave him an incredulous look. “Have you weighed the pros and cons about me?”
He grinned. “Of course.”
She studied him with a narrowed gaze. “And how’d it turn out?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
“So, more pros than cons?”
“Yes, Jess,” he said patiently, his eyes lit with amusement. “You only have one thing going against you—in my eyes, anyway.”
Curious despite her reservations about even having this conversation with him, she asked, “What’s that?”
“You don’t have half as much faith in yourself as I do.”
Surprisingly touched by his words, she looked away.
Will tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to face him. “You have a lot to offer a man, Jess. Any man. I hope it’s me, but if things don’t work out, please don’t forget that.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?” she said.
“I never say anything I don’t mean,” he assured her.
“But I’m such a terrible bet, Will,” she said. “Okay, I know this flies right in the face of what you were just saying, but I don’t stick with things. That’s the truth, and I might as well admit it. My dating history sucks.”
Will didn’t seem impressed by her warning. “Don’t you think I know that? They were just the wrong guys.”
“Abby’s told me the same thing, but what if you’re both wrong? What if it’s me?”
He leveled a look into her eyes that melted something inside she hadn’t even realized was frozen: her heart.
“It’s not you,” he said quietly. “I know that, Jess. I know it.”
He sounded so sure, so reassuring, that she was almost convinced that maybe the time had come to finally take that leap of faith.
But then Connor headed their way, and she was reminded that not even her big brother, her best friend, had that much faith in her. How could she possibly risk hurting Will when she knew deep in her heart that the odds of them making it were slim to none?
12
Will stood off to the side with Connor keeping an eye on little Mick, as the women handled the brisk business at their respective booths. Even Jess had been drafted into action, taking donations for her uncle’s foundation. He noticed Connor watching her, his expression filled with regret.
“Jess will be okay,” Will said, trying to reassure him.
“She wouldn’t even look at me when the two of you came back,” Connor said.
“She’s hurt that you thought f
or even a second that she’d lose track of little Mick, that’s all. She trusts you to be in her corner, and for a minute there, you were just like everyone else, jumping to the conclusion that she’d failed you.”
“I was scared for my son,” Connor said defensively.
“She knows that. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“What do I do? I tried to apologize.”
“Give it time. You two have had spats before.”
Connor shook his head. “This one feels different. It’s as if I took something away from her, and she can’t forgive me for that.”
Will knew Connor was serious, but he nudged him in the ribs anyway. “No need to be dramatic. This will pass, Connor. I guarantee it.”
“I didn’t know you shrinks were in the business of giving out guarantees.”
“Well, it’s true that when we’re dealing with particularly stubborn, impossible, hard-to-reach clients, we don’t like to promise much, but since you O’Briens are all so reasonable, I think it’s safe,” he said, his expression wry.
“Bite me,” Connor responded cheerfully. “I’m serious, though. Should I apologize again? I hate it that when she looks my way at all, she stares right through me.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a sincere apology or a lot of groveling. If you feel so inclined, go for it. Just remember that you wounded her, no question about it. I’m just not sure Jess is in a forgiving mood quite yet.”
“Well, I have to do something. That blank look I get when she sees me is killing me,” Connor said. “Keep an eye on little Mick, okay?”
“Got it,” Will promised. “He may move fast, but my legs are longer. He won’t get away from me.”
He watched as Connor approached Jess, said something to catch her attention, then faltered when she gave him a look filled with accusation, pain and betrayal. He couldn’t hear what Connor was saying, but eventually, Jess’s lips curved up just a little. She gave her brother a shove that had him stumbling back a step, then laughed.
“Stop it, you two!” Heather commanded in the tone she usually used to get little Mick’s attention. “If you’re going to start a brawl, do not do it in my booth.”
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