Promise of Love

by C. M. King

  Just tonight Rieko had left the bridge early to possibly catch him at dinner. As she approached the table where he sat alone, he quickly gathered his things and left despite his dinner being only half eaten. She stopped as he briskly walked past her and actually caught a glimpse of fear in his eyes.

  Why he was doing it? Rieko didn't know, but his avoidance was getting to her. Things were fine before, so why wouldn't they not still be? So, they had kissed and a little bit more, did any of that really change anything between them?

  Instead, Rieko ate dinner with Mike and talked about the day's events and a little ship's gossip. Inside she was slowly cooking over Stuart's avoidance of her. Afterwards she spent a good deal of time studying star charts in the astronomy lab. Anything to get her mind focused on something besides Stuart. Finally, she just decided to go back to her quarters, and try and do some work there.

  She knew she shouldn't rush things between them, and pressuring him would just send him farther away. Stuart said he wanted to let someone in, and had asked her to help him do so. Sure he had laid down some ground rules, but he was as much a willing participant the other night as her. Maybe they should be glad Taylor had in fact had a large crisis in the rec hall that night. It had stopped them, now they could step back, and think through all of this again.

  But no, Stuart was avoiding her. Come to think of it, he hadn't been all that sharing about himself anyway so far. She had learned a great deal about his work, a little about what he liked about history. He didn't talk about his family or home or past friends. In Rieko's opinion, who a person was depended on those things.

  Rieko slid the data pad she was studying across the desk in her quarters. She hadn't realized how furious she was with him. What was up with the man? Sure, he could be charming and funny. No doubt he was sexy in a mysterious way, but at times he rubbed her entirely the wrong way. If he wanted to tell her about himself, then why keep his distance? If he didn't want to kiss her, then why kiss her? If he'd decided he just wanted to be friends, it was fine, just tell her so.

  There was no way she was getting any sleep tonight until she found him, cornered him, and made him talk again. So, what was she doing here wasting time? Rieko threw a robe on to cover her satin pajamas, kicked her feet into slippers, and stormed out of the door to find Stuart.

  It was late now, almost one o'clock in the morning. After knocking on the door to his quarters a couple dozen times and getting no answer, she thought that perhaps he really wasn't there. For a moment, she wondered where else on the ship he could be. The armory, of course, avoiding her by calibrating those precious weapons of his. Rieko turned in the corridor and strode purposefully toward the armory.

  Her steps still held purpose when she finally walked through the doors to the armory and found Stuart exactly where she thought she would. She walked up to him and stood before him with her hands on her hips. His stormy blue eyes watched her the whole time.

  "Why are you avoiding me?” she asked.

  He just continued to look at her with a blank face.

  "What is so wrong with having sex?” she continued. “Just why do you think us having sex would cause you to hurt me, and avoiding me won't?"

  His solid face wavered for a moment before falling back into place. “I've done it before,” he said in a soft voice.

  "Maybe I'm different.” Her voice echoed in the largely empty space of the armory.

  "If we had sex,” he continued, still quiet and calm, “I'm not sure you would be."

  She screamed in frustration, and her body shook. “Why can't you just give me a straight answer?” Stuart's face still held a blank expression, but his eyes widened.

  Stuart lightly shook his head from side to side. “I don't know.” His voice held pain and his face crumpled into a look of sorrow and confusion.

  Having opened him up, Rieko forced her voice to calm. “Why have you been avoiding me?"

  "I don't want to hurt you.” His blank face shifted back in place.

  He drove her so crazy sometimes. “We've already gone over that. I don't want to start running in circles.” She heard the anger rising again in her voice.

  "Well, you don't seem to understand,” he said.

  "Don't blame me for not understanding, when you aren't telling me enough to understand,” she said. His face was set in stone, even his eyes masked any emotion. “I might as well be talking to a bulkhead.” She threw her arms up in protest.

  With a loud aspirated sigh, she turned and started to leave. So much for getting him to talk, not to mention her getting any sleep. Rieko felt even worse now that she had seen him.

  Rieko was feet from the door, when she heard a rustling behind her. She felt Stuart's hand grab her wrist. He pulled her into an embrace. A hungry kiss enveloped her mouth, as his hands groped everywhere on her body. Her robe fell to the ground. Stuart maneuvered her deeper into the armory. Their feet did an odd shuffling dance over the floor. Their tongues dueled, and their hands grabbed hungrily at each other.

  Her back hit a bulkhead. Stuart's body pressed against her. His mouth moved over the skin of her neck, collarbone, ear, cheek. His tongue lapped and his teeth nibbled at her flushed skin. His hands slid under her pajama top, and rubbed her bare breasts. She heard herself moan. Her hands pulled at his hair and gripped the fabric of his uniform.

  Her head leaned against the bulkhead. Stuart's mouth returned to hers, again plundering it with his tongue. One hand pinched at a tense nipple as the other ran down her back, scrapping the flesh. He cupped her butt with enough force she felt his nails dig into the soft flesh.

  The pure sexual energy of Stuart washed over her. She raised one pajama-covered leg and wrapped it around his hips. His hardened flesh rubbed against where she wanted him even through several layers of clothing. She felt how moist and sensitive she was. Waves of desire washed over her. She wanted him to take her here and now. This time she wasn't letting him stop.

  Stuart's hand left her breast, but the pace of his body and mouth against hers increased. Their hips rocked together in mock intercourse. He attempted to punch buttons on the wall, his mind very distracted by other things. Finally, with a grunt of frustration, he pulled his mouth from hers to concentrate on the panel. Rieko grabbed at his exposed ear. He groaned and his concentration flickered into desire.

  He punched at the buttons and returned to her with unrelenting passion as the door hissed open. His hands held her in a tight embrace and he pulled them from the wall. He half-carried her with him through the door and into his private office.

  She found her back against another bulkhead. The door hissed closed beside her. His hands slid her pajama bottoms over her hips. They fell to the floor, and she stepped out of them. Stuart's hand lifted one of her legs and ran his hand up the smooth skin until his fingers gripped the soft flesh of her butt.

  She wrapped that leg back around him. She lowered the zipper of his uniform. Her hand played at the outline of his erection through the fabric of his boxers. Then her fingers slipped under the waistband and around to tighten over his firm ass. He lifted her top and dipped his head to capture a nipple between his teeth. Rieko moaned in response.

  His hand on her butt lifted her hips and reached further until his fingers grazed her inner folds. She moaned again, and heard her voice plead with him to continue. Her nails scratched down his back. One hand slipped beneath the front of his boxers.

  Stuart complied with her request. One of his fingers delved into her folds. Another rubbed her clitoris. His mouth still sucked on her breast, and his tongue lapped at the nipple. She ran her finger along his hard length. A deep moan escaped his throat.

  His roughness with the delicate parts of her body sent shivers through her. Stuart deepened his ministrations on her clit, while he inserted a second finger into her vagina and began to move them. Rieko grasped his erection in her hand and ran it down his length.

  "No.” Stuart's voice grated like sandpaper. He removed his mouth from her breast and gra
bbed her wrist to pull her hand away from him. He swept her other wrist into his grip and flattened both to his waist. He used his teeth to raise the fabric of her top and return his mouth to her breast.

  His body snaked down hers. His tongue and teeth trailed along her stomach, and stopped to flick his tongue into her belly button before continuing further. Stuart knelt on the ground before her and removed his hand from inside her. She couldn't help moaning in protest. He shifted her leg over his shoulder.

  Stuart's lips played along her inner thigh. Rieko's breath caught as she realized where he was headed. “Oh, yes, Stuart,” she whispered. Then his mouth was on her folds. His tongue delved into her vagina in the same manner it had plundered her mouth earlier. Rieko shifted her hips closer to his actions. His thumb rubbed her clit. He released her wrists and moved his hand to knead her ass.

  She curled her hands in his hair. Her grip tightened as she felt herself nearing release. The leg supporting her quivered. Her body was too afire to hold herself steadily upright, and she began to fall. Stuart pulled away from her. Rieko growled at her lack of finish. His strong arms kept her from falling as he stood up before her.

  Again, Stuart's mouth was on hers. She tasted her juices on his lips. He guided her to a desk a few steps way. Her weakened legs only held her upright with his aid. He lifted her until she sat upon his cold metal desk. He knelt between her legs to finish what he had begun.

  Rieko threw back her head. One hand clinched on the side of the desk, while the other pulled Stuart toward her. Waves of ecstasy and pleasure washed over her. His tongue and teeth and fingers skillfully stroked and nipped and caressed all the most intimate of places. She glanced down at Stuart through desire laden eyes.

  His eyes were tightly closed, his breathing labored, one of his hands pumped in his unzipped uniform. Rieko shifted forward on the desk. She spread her legs wider, and slid closer to his reach. Stuart increased his pace until it came fast and hungry. She arched her back, and rocked her hips. She felt herself on the edge of climax, and then she fell over the edge as every nerve in her body exploded.

  "Oh, Stuart.” Her voice cracked as the aftershocks of her pleasure washed through her.

  Stuart's pace inside her slowed. He pulled away and sat back on his hunches. His breath came hard and fast, and his hand still pleasured himself. He hadn't finished.

  Rieko tried to gently slip off the desk, but instead fell into his lap with exhaustion. She ran a hand down his still clothed chest and felt his muscles tighten under the fabric. Then, she reached her hand lower, and clasped her hand over his. Stuart's eyes opened, brimming with sexual energy. He took her wrist in his hand again and swept up the other hand as he removed both from this way.

  In her clouded mind Rieko wondered what his thing was. She moved further onto his lap and placed her mouth on his. She let her tongue be the one to invade his mouth this time. He groaned at her affections while his pace quickened.

  She ground her hips into his with his pumping hand trapped between their bodies. He thrust his hips up to meet hers, and his mouth devoured her mouth. With a final thrust, he lifted them from the floor. He gave a muffled scream into her mouth as he climaxed. They collapsed against each other, both now fulfilled.

  Rieko rested her head against Stuart's shoulder and listened to his slowing breath. His head rested against hers. His arms enfolded her. She felt so calm, so relaxed, maybe things between them didn't make sense, but right now she really didn't care. If only she could forever be in those protective arms of his.

  "I love you.” She sighed. She knew as soon as she spoke something even she hadn't realized, that it was a mistake. Was this what he was afraid of? Her falling in love with him? She felt him stiffen against her as he walled himself back off from their earlier intimacy.

  She slid from his lap as he rose to his feet. He re-zipped his uniform, that and his tousled hair were the only evidence of what they had just shared, as if he hadn't really wished it to touch him. Rieko stood as the effect of the moment wore off.

  "Maybe that was just the sex talking.” She felt as if she needed to give him some explanation.

  His blue eyes met hers of black. “I don't love you.” His words were gentle but truthful. “I don't know if I ever will.” While his eyes filled with concern for her, Rieko knew hers shone with concern for him. How could he believe he couldn't love?

  "If you have before, why can't you now?” she asked. Who had hurt him that badly?

  Those blue eyes stared into hers. “I haven't,” he whispered.

  Rieko knew her face showed her shock and confusion. “You've never loved anybody?” she whispered. She thought about all the people in her life she loved: friends, family, the few men she'd been involved with.

  His stormy eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't explain. He softly shook his head, but didn't mouth a word.

  Rieko stepped closer to him. She placed a hand on his cheek. “Let me make you love me, Stuart,” she silently pleaded. She tried to let her eyes voice the words to him.

  His always stoic face stared at her. A thousand emotions raced across his eyes. He finally closed them and leaned his forehead to rest on hers.

  Rieko closed her eyes as well. “Let me in, Stuart,” she pleaded aloud.

  "I'm trying.” His voice came out a weak half-cry. His arms reached out to encircle her.

  "Don't avoid me anymore,” she said.

  She felt Stuart shake his head against her forehead. “I won't."

  Rieko let her head fall onto his shoulder. Her face nestled into his neck. “You don't want to do this again?” she asked, leaving unspoken what they had done tonight. She wanted to figure out the secret rules he followed.

  "Not anytime soon,” he answered.

  "Then, we won't again until you say you're okay with it,” Rieko replied.

  "Not that I don't like you like that.” His tone showed humor. He ran a hand down the back of her pajama top and then over her bare butt. He gripped her butt loosely and playfully. “Here in my office, naked from the waist down.” He gave a rumbling chuckle.

  "Stuart.” She pulled away enough to mockingly glare at him.

  His face held a small smile, but it danced over his eyes. He lowered his hands. “Get dressed and I'll walk you back to your quarters."

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  Chapter Five

  * * * *

  Slowly Stuart did start telling Rieko more about himself, especially if she asked the right questions. Stories about him in school finally opened him up. He considered himself a bad student, although she sometimes wondered how bad he had really been. She asked if he'd ever had any tutors, and he answered with the coarse, “MacEwan's don't need tutors."

  Instead, he told her how he had spent hours trying to teach himself subjects he didn't understand in class. He read and re-read the text books until he made it make sense. She was surprised to learn that Stuart with the great engineering mind he had, at one time had struggled to comprehend algebra. It all showed her his self-reliance, determination, and resolve, his patience and certainty in his abilities.

  Astronomy was his one failure in school. She could picture a young Stuart up late, a small study light on, while everyone else slept, studying until the types of stars and planets were imprinted into his brain. Then, he'd show up at class to hear the instructor mention things that didn't match with the data in his head. Even all those years later, such a silly failure really bothered him. Rieko almost wished to teach him astronomy just to show him he could do it, that he wasn't a failure.

  Stuart said he had been a small child, always smaller than the other boys. He had to always try harder to be their equals. He had found a way to get around his smaller stature. It didn't surprise her that he had played sports: cricket and football and rugby. He played them well, winning, but Rieko could tell he hadn't really enjoyed it.

  Then there were his allergies. Rieko wondered what all he was and wasn't allergic to. Stuart lik
ely had an internal list of it. It bothered him because he saw it as a weakness, an imperfection. She tried to gently tell him, nobody was perfect.

  She learned the subjects he didn't talk about. In his quarters one night, they often now talked in private, Stuart was after all a very private man, she mentioned family. First, she told him about her parents and brothers, her aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents.

  He gave a little back in return. His sister was a schoolteacher, his mother a housewife, his father had been a Captain in the British Royal Navy. Family was not a subject he talked about and he wouldn't tell her why. Of course, he didn't talk about friends either. Rieko had a feeling many of the people he had ever interacted with in his life were just acquaintances. If he had ever made a real friend in the past, he would have told her, so likely there wasn't one.

  She learned a great deal about Stuart that seemed to not be his own thinking. The deeper he let her see of himself, the more she slowly saw the difference. She heard that voice he spoke about MacEwan's in that wasn't his. The MacEwan's were in the Royal Navy for as far back as any could remember, and that history ran back quite a ways.

  "MacEwan's have salt water in their veins."

  Rieko was well aware that the MacEwan's referred to only men. Somehow she could see the MacEwan's still somewhere in the early Twentieth Century when it came to women and their rights and abilities as people, beliefs Stuart didn't share.

  "MacEwan's don't give up a fight."

  "MacEwan's don't shirk responsibility."

  "MacEwan's are strong."

  "MacEwan's don't cry."

  This family had given him his sense of duty and loyalty, his prim and proper manners. Was the perfection he insisted on his? What about his need to succeed? His self-reliance and determination were taught to him at an early age. Those words were his father's, not that Stuart ever mentioned the man.

  * * * *

  "It's amazing.” Rieko studied the completed model of the HMS Resolution on the small table in Stuart's quarters.