by Fiona Palmer
In the dining room, the table was set with Nan’s homemade tablecloth and plates. Nan was serving the freshly cooked omelette to Jimmy, who sat at one end. Grandad’s seat at the other end always stayed empty. Flick sat on one side of Jimmy, Toni the other, and Nan usually sat beside Flick. It had been this way since Jimmy had arrived.
Nan had always fed and kept house while they ran the farm, she was not ready to retire. She’d said the moment she stopped working would be the moment she’d start to die.
‘Oh, Maggie May, this looks great. Thank you,’ said Jimmy, who wasted no time digging in. Nan squeezed his shoulder, delighted at pleasing him.
While Flick waited for hers, she tried to ignore the pile of university brochures at the edge of the table. Was her mum really going to start on about this again today? Flick flipped her long chestnut plait over her shoulder but it wasn’t enough to deflect her mum’s disappointed glare. Luckily, Nan was back within minutes, flopping an omelette onto Flick’s plate with ease.
‘Thanks, Nan. The herbs smell divine.’
‘So, did you catch up with Chad last night?’ Jimmy asked.
Flick drew in a breath. ‘Yeah.’
His brow creased. ‘You were home early. Heard your car,’ he explained.
Toni shot her a worried glance. No doubt she’d been thinking the same thing.
‘He had an early start so I only stayed for a beer.’
Thankfully, Nan sat down with her muesli, and Flick hoped they’d forget about Chad. That was one subject she wasn’t in the mood to talk about. She gave her full attention to eating her breakfast instead.
‘We weren’t expecting you home last night,’ Toni persisted. ‘Is everything okay?’
Flick attempted to keep her feelings of confusion and hurt from her face while trying for a casual smile. She put down her knife and fork. ‘He had to get up really early so it was just easier to come home and get a good night’s sleep.’ She wasn’t sure if she pulled it off. Jimmy, chewing as slowly as a jersey cow, studied her expression.
‘Oh, all right.’ Toni cleared her throat and reached for the travel brochures she had strategically placed on the table beside the bunch of university brochures.
Flick’s stomach dropped. Here it comes again, she thought. She didn’t know what was worse: a lecture about travel or the Spanish Inquisition on Chad.
‘I . . . um . . . picked up these when I was in Narrogin yesterday getting the hose fittings,’ Toni said.
Flick glanced at her mum. She was trying to act casual as she slid the pamphlets across the table. The four travel brochures were for Italy, France, America and Vietnam.
‘These look great and the girl said they’re very popular destinations. There’s the money Grandad left you just waiting for you to pick a trip,’ she added.
‘I told you I’m happy here, Mum,’ Flick said. ‘I don’t want to travel. Fella and Contractor need me and I’d prefer to use the money to do up the old place.’
Toni clicked her tongue and sighed. ‘You don’t want to be stuck here your whole life, Felicity. Go, explore the world before it’s too late and you end up like me!’
Flick finished her omelette and turned to her mum. Toni was a woman she’d grown up idolising, a lady of strength and determination. Nothing was impossible for her and she’d done everything on her own. Always. ‘What’s so wrong with being like you, Mum? Your life seems pretty perfect to me.’
‘There’s so much more out there on offer,’ Toni replied. ‘I know you love it here, but this place isn’t going anywhere.’
‘This place is all I’ve ever wanted. When are you actually going to listen to me?’ Flick stood abruptly, collecting her plate while Jimmy tried his best to look invisible.
Toni got up too but Maggie raised her voice. ‘Antonia, no. Leave her be.’
Before anything else could be said, Flick darted for the kitchen, dropped her plate in the sink and charged out the screen door.
She needed time to cool down. Her mum just seemed to like pushing her buttons. Why was she so persistent? And why couldn’t she hear what Flick was trying to say? Flick found it hard enough dealing with her mum, but now it seemed she had boyfriend issues to contend with, too. This was definitely not her week.
Toni flinched as the screen door slammed. She wanted to go back to half-an-hour ago, when the light spread through the shed and warmed her skin as she sat cleaning motor parts in petrol. It had been so quiet and peaceful, just the galah’s screeching and the odd sound of a small branch they’d nibbled off as it hit the ground with a thump. Back before she’d made Flick angry.
Moving her empty plate away, she pulled back the travel brochures. Each photo of exotic lands and different cultures drew her in. Why wasn’t Felicity interested? She’d give anything to have the opportunities her daughter now had laid out before her . . .
Jimmy reached around her and collected her plate, his rolled shirtsleeves exposing his long, muscled forearm.
‘Thanks, Jimmy.’ She smiled up at him. It was hard not to notice James Painter. He was far too handsome for his own good. After losing her dad, it had been so nice to have a male figure around again, and Jimmy was not only taller and stronger, but also upbeat and optimistic, too. That was something she’d missed her whole life. Her dad had depended on Toni for nearly everything but being wheelchair-bound, he’d suffered from bouts of depression.
She resisted the urge to watch Jimmy’s denim-clad backside and instead focused on her mum. Toni wondered how she’d managed to stay on the farm for so long without complaining even once.
‘Thanks for brekkie, Mum. We’ll be off moving a mob to the south paddock. See you at lunchtime.’
‘Okay, dear. And don’t forget to check the dam pump. I’m not getting the water to my veggies.’
‘We’ll check it out on our way back. See ya.’
Jimmy was waiting outside for her. His boots were on and he was leaning against the verandah pole, the morning sun casting bright light across his unshaven jaw. The stubble only came off when it got too long and itchy for him. Toni didn’t mind it, either, and had often wondered what it would be like to have his strong arms around her and to kiss his lips. But that was a ridiculous notion. He was eight years younger, still in his forties, still young enough to have a family of his own. Toni had been thirty-three when she’d had Felicity and by the time she’d realised she was pregnant, the father had already moved on, leaving Toni behind with the most amazing gift.
Toni slipped on her Rossi boots and glanced towards Contractor’s stall.
‘She’s not there,’ Jimmy pre-empted, putting on his tan Akubra hat and passing Toni her dark-brown one. ‘She’ll be down at the old place.’
Toni realised Jimmy was right. The old brick farmhouse had always been Felicity’s thinking place.
‘Shall we go move this mob, then?’ he asked.
‘Righto,’ Toni replied as they headed for the ute, boots crunching on gravel. Gypsy, at Jimmy’s heel, launched herself up onto the back tray of the old Hilux they used for paddock work. The noise from the Hilux’s holey muffler was great for moving on the sheep.
Toni drove them down the track past the gimlet trees and the old house. She spotted Fella lying outside the front door, the tell-tale sign that Flick was inside.
‘Do you think I’m pushing her too much?’ Toni asked, clenching her hands on the steering wheel. Her nails were short, her hands marked with cuts and ingrained dirt. Jimmy remained silent. Toni stopped at the paddock gate and glanced at him.
‘You really want to know what I think?’ he said, looking at her.
‘Of course.’
‘Even if you never take my advice?’ he replied with a smirk, then jumped out of the ute to open the gate. When he got back in he fiddled with his hat in his hands.
‘Come on, Jimmy. Please.’
‘Well, honestly, I don’t think you can force Flick to do anything. She’s stubborn, like you.’
‘Me? Don’t you mean my mother?�
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‘All you Stewart women are stubborn, but that’s not a criticism. Being stubborn is also one of your strengths and it’s what makes you all survivors.’
She shrugged her shoulders, unable to look into his intriguing green eyes.
‘All I’m trying to say is it has to be Flick’s idea. She’ll go to uni if she can see a benefit in it for her, maybe do agribusiness or an equine course. And maybe the travel will come a few years later when something grabs her interest. She’s still only twenty. But if you keep pushing her, she may just close herself off just to spite you.’
Toni mulled over his words as she drove closer to the sheep. Gypsy had already jumped off and was bringing them into a close group. She risked a glance at Jimmy’s face. ‘How did you get to be so insightful?’
Suddenly the ute lurched and they both hit their heads on the roof. Toni braked and rubbed her head. ‘What the hell was that? Did I just run over a sheep?’ she said, glancing at the mob ahead.
‘I don’t think so. It sounded solid.’
They leapt out. Jimmy instantly gasped. ‘Oh my God,’ he said. Toni rushed to his side where he knelt down.
‘What? What is it?’
Jimmy was trying to talk but he was laughing too hard. He reached for Toni and pulled her down to see under the ute. They hadn’t hit a sheep or a rock but the old rusty bull bar from the front of the Hilux. It had somehow come off and they’d run right over it. Toni burst out laughing, too.
As their laughter eventually died, Toni became aware that Jimmy was still holding her arm. She also realised she was leaning into him.
Jimmy didn’t move away and there was a new expression in his eyes she hadn’t noticed before and one she couldn’t handle.
‘Toni . . .’ he whispered, staring deep into her eyes, but just at that moment Gypsy barked at them, as if to say, What the hell are you doing? Are we moving this mob or what?
Toni jumped up off the ground and brushed the dirt from her pants. ‘Well, we need to shift this bloody thing,’ she said.
Moments later Jimmy was pulling on a section of rusty steel. Together they dragged it out from under the ute. It squealed as metal ground against metal and they lifted it onto the back tray.
‘Seems like the rust ate out the brackets,’ she said as she walked to the front of the ute. ‘The old girl looks a bit different now.’
Jimmy chuckled. ‘She sure does.’ His gentle laugh was enough to put them both at ease. Their moment seemed to be forgotten. Only Toni couldn’t forget it. What had Jimmy been about to say to her?
Gypsy barked and they started moving the sheep again.
‘The lambs are looking good,’ said Jimmy.
‘They are, aren’t they? We’ve had such a good drop rate.’
‘Yeah, you were right to change the lambing dates. They’re going great on all the green feed,’ he said, shutting the gate on the mob in the next paddock.
Toni ground her teeth together to stop her smile spreading. ‘Thank you. I appreciate that.’ Her father had scarcely given her any praise over the years. When she’d use her initiative or suggested an easier way, her father had never acknowledged it. Although she felt a pang of guilt admitting it, deep down Toni loved running the farm without her dad’s overbearing self-righteousness.
She leant back against the frame of the gate and watched the merinos, their heads down eating as they settled into the different paddock. The growing lambs beside their mums did look really healthy and Toni felt a sense of accomplishment. She worked damn hard on this farm and it took everything she had to offer. Toni had no idea what ‘personal’ time was. She’d never taken a real holiday. A weekend down the coast fishing was as good as it got. And to think she’d spent her childhood dreaming of getting on an aeroplane and flying far away from Sunnyvale.
‘You look like you’re a million miles away,’ Jimmy said.
Toni sighed. ‘I guess I was.’ She waved away a fly and turned to face him. ‘Do you ever wonder how different our lives could have been?’
His face was unreadable and Toni instantly regretted her wayward question.
‘Yes, I’ve thought about it. Like if the bank had given me the loan to buy my father’s farm instead of him having to sell it? But then I wouldn’t have gone looking for work and I wouldn’t have ended up here.’ He shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t have you three in my life and it’d be pretty empty. So I’m glad it worked out this way. Maybe fate had this planned out all along.’
‘Wow.’ Toni knew Jimmy enjoyed working at Sunnyvale but to put the three of them before having his own farm?
‘Sometimes life has a way of working out, even if you don’t realise it at the time. Sometimes —’
Toni covered Jimmy’s mouth with her hand. ‘Sometimes you talk too much.’ She smiled and dropped her hand. ‘But I know what you’re trying to say. So, thanks.’
‘Is this about your dad?’ Jimmy asked softly.
Toni couldn’t bring herself to respond.
‘Who do you talk to, Toni? You never leave the farm. You don’t seem to have any fun —’
‘I have fun,’ she said vehemently.
‘Really? I’ve asked you to come to the club with me for a feed and a game of pool and you never do. Or head to the lake for a swim and to just relax. You work too hard, you know that.’
‘I . . .’ Toni closed her mouth again. What could she say? I don’t go anywhere with you because it would be too much fun? She didn’t want to like him any more than she already did. It was easier not to be around him – especially in his swimming shorts! It was bad enough in summer when he’d strip off his shirt and stand under the outside shower.
‘What is it that you wanted to do before your dad had his accident?’ Jimmy pressed.
Oh, God. The million-dollar question. Toni winced as her dreams flooded her mind. ‘Dad couldn’t help it. They had no other choice but to bring me home to help.’
Now Jimmy turned to her intently. ‘That’s not what I asked, Toni.’
Toni hated the way his jade eyes ate right through to the most fragile part of her.
She glanced back to her sheep, the paddock opening up before them along the horizon. ‘I wanted to travel,’ she said at last. She’d never spoken about her desires to anyone before.
‘So what’s wrong with starting that now?’ Jimmy stepped back, hands on his hips. ‘You can always take me along,’ he said with a wink.
Toni laughed but that shimmer in his eyes was back. She’d always been able to read him, but now he seemed to be sending new messages.
‘I’ll remember that next time I head to the sale yards,’ said Toni, as she slapped him playfully on his arm.
‘Toni, you never know what life might be about to throw at you. Hey, it threw me in with three fanatical Sunnyvale girls.’
For some reason Jimmy’s words rattled inside her mind and caused a tingle down her spine. Maybe this would be the year that brings about change for them all. The more she thought about it, the more she felt it was true. She breathed in deeply, the air tinged with dust and eucalyptus, but also something else. What did fate have in store for them all?
ALSO BY FIONA PALMER
Indianna Wilson is a country girl through and through. She’ll do anything she can to save her beloved home from disappearing off the map – even if she has to die trying. She entices Troy Mitchell to her tiny outback town, with hopes that he can bring a breath of fresh air to the Saints football club and lift the wider farming community.
He’s just the spark they need in Hyden, but it’s the fire that he ignites in Indi’s heart that takes her by surprise. She knows he’s feeling something too – why, then, does he insist on pushing her away?
As the town rallies together and their fighting spirit returns, Indi and Troy discover that sometimes life offers up a second chance – you just have to be brave enough to take it.
'A moving and engaging story, told with warmth and humour.'
BOOK’D OUT
'Palmer's
characterisation of the town's many colourful identities is delightful and will bring a smile to those who have experienced country life . . . With holiday season approaching, total immersion in The Outback Heart could just be the plan.'
WEST AUSTRALIAN
'A delightful piece of rural romance.'
BALLARAT COURIER
Jonelle Baxter is a young woman in a man's world – a tough, hardworking motor mechanic from an idyllic country family. But lately things in her perfect life have been changing, and her workshop isn't the only local business that's struggling.
Daniel Tyler is new in town, posted from the city to manage the community bank. As he tries to rein in the spiralling debts of Bundara, he uncovers all sorts of personal dramas and challenges.
The last thing Jonny and Dan need is an unwanted attraction to each other. She has enough problems just keeping her livelihood going and he's fighting pressures that stretch all the way to Perth. It's going to take more than a good drop of rain to break the drought and bring change in love and in life.
'A moving story that reveals the beauty of the bush and the resilience of rural communities during times of hardship.'
QUEENSLAND COUNTRY LIFE
'The writing is brilliant . . . riveting.'
NEWCASTLE HERALD
Lara Turner has a boyfriend, a nice house in the city and a chance at a big promotion. So when her brother calls asking her to come home, she hesitates. Can she face the memories that inhabit the beloved place of her childhood? And how does she feel with the news it's to be sold? Could she be the answer to saving the family farm?
Jack Morgan has memories of his own to contend with. A falling-out with his family and a bitter end to a past relationship have left a big chip on his shoulder. When his best mate's beautiful sister arrives on the scene, he finds himself deeply conflicted.
Lara and Jack have a powerful attraction but are constantly at odds. Will their love of the same land keep them apart, or grow into a love of a different kind?
'Distinctly Australian, from the description of the land to the genuine dialogue that doesn't shy away from the everyday colloquialisms . . . The Road Home is a heartwarming and enjoyable story . . . a well-written and engaging read.'